HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

HIV+ friend, anal fingering, cuts on fingers, please help!

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Hello all and thank you for the service. I am highly concerned I've exposed myself to HIV. I have tested, probably too much, given I am still within the window period. Logic tells me I'm going to be negative, yet my fear is out of control. I have asked my doc for anxiety meds, but the effects likely wont help for a few weeks.

My Pos friend and I had several exposures. The friendship remains but the relationship couldn't work. Kissing, protected oral (me to him) unprotected oral (him to me) protected vaginal intercourse, and anal fingering (him to me) I know, no documented cases of transmission by fingering. Extra conditions present are what is alarming.

I was recently diagnosed with HSV2. I've never had an OB. I suspect it may be anally. The anal fingering happened the last night we were together 3 wks ago. Shortly after, I wiped a fair amount of blood from my anal area. I didn't realize it then and thought it was residual bleeding from my period. I wasn't concerned for HIV as I thought we were entirely safe. Until a couple of weeks later when I wiped a fair amount of blood from my anal area after a large bowl (sorry for the detail). I have since been told I have hemorrhoids, but I still suspect herpes. Either way, bleeding is bleeding. I know HIV can not penetrate intact skin. I did not get any of his seman or blood on me, I think. The additional problem is he had cuts on his fingers. Both very small. One old and well scabbed over and the scab did not come off. The other was a few hours old. I highly doubt he used this finger as he put a bandaide on after showering just before our time together.

1 what is my statistical risk. I'm trying to tell myself very low based on what I've read.

2 when is testing truly accurate? I've heard one can test positive as soon as 10 days post exposure, that the Oraquick rapid 1/2 can detect in 99% by 20-25 days. Yet a conclusive negative isn't until 3months. Odd it would work both ways.

3 symptoms, oh boy the symptoms. I have most all, except the most defining one of fever. Is a fever always present? I've read 95% it is. My nodes aren't too swollen or concerning either. What is really freaking me out is this blotchy rash and freckles popping up everywhere. What does an ARS rash look like? Most sites I've seen pictures on are rather severe. Can it be mild too? My appetite is strong as ever, Is that a defining symptom or not?

4 my friend has been pos for 10 years. when last tested his viral load was undetectable. he hasn't tested in awhile and that is concerning to me. I assume the higher the viral load the more contagious? Is that true? He's in perfect health otherwise, so how likely is it he's on the high side?

Given all the odds I believe are in my favor, I am routing for anxiety (meds are on the way). In the meantime, I am trapped in my fear and the one unexplainable symptom of rash is getting worse. It started at roughly 16 days after and I tested at 21 days after, negative. I just went for a CBC and a few other tests to see if anthing else can explain my crappy feeling. I probably should have asked for viral load testing but was scared. My doc has no idea of my HIV fear, only the clinic does. The clinic thinks I'm fine and perhaps need to drink more (they were just kidding) but after I told them about the blood, they suggested going to an Infectious Disease clinic too. Oh God! Now I'm terrified. Please help to calm me!

You don't get HIV by being fingered...Period. Doesn't matter if he had cuts, scrapes or etc.  You didn't have a risk for HIV. Your not going to get HSV2 from being fingered either. Take care of your hemorrhoids, they can be a pain in the ass.

 ;D Thank you for the humor! And the stress relief! The HSV2 was confirmed via Herpes Select blood test 6 months ago, I've never seen anything odd but a lil butt rash. He doesn't have HSV so I wasn't worried about getting it 'again' just the possible open sores.

I don't want to be a 'pain in the ass'  ;D Is it possible for anxiety to cause all the 'symptoms' I've got? Even a rash? Is my 3wk test conclusive enough to stop panicing?

Your picture is cool! and I wont tell anyone you got loose! lol!
Thank you

Anxiety can cause all the symptoms you are having. You didn't need a test to begin with, so you can go on with you life. Continue to use condoms and plenty of water base lube.


1. Your "statistical" risk is zero. You didn't have a risk.

2. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A negative result should be confirmed at the 12-13 week point, at which time it will be conclusive. The window period is three months to catch the rare person who takes slightly longer that six weeks to produce detectable antibodies.

3. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Nothing you report is hiv specific and could be caused by dozens, if not thousands of other illnesses. If you're having problems with your body, discuss them with your doctor. As you did not have a risk of hiv infection, the cause will not be hiv.

4. Your friend's viral load is of no concern to you as you did nothing to put you at risk of infection.

By the way, NO, you should NOT have asked for viral load testing. Those tests are NOT approved for diagnostic use as they have a high rate of FALSE positives. You don't want one of those, believe me. You do not need any further hiv testing over your activities with your friend as you were not at risk in anything you did.

Seriously, you can rest easy. You didn't do anything risky.

You need to know that condoms MUST be used with anyone, no matter what you might think their hiv status is. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your fella is using them properly. While you're on either of those pages, have a look through the bottom three links in the left-hand column. They discuss ways that you, as a woman, can protect yourself. I recommend the female condom as they are also excellent barriers against hiv infection, and importantly, they give YOU the control over condom use. They can even be put in place in advance so you're not fumbling around at the crucial moment. They're fiddly to use at first, but if you can put a tampon in, you can use these. It gets easier with practice. Give them a try.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread for further transmission and testing information.



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