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Author Topic: Losing a Friend  (Read 3378 times)

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Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,376
Losing a Friend
« on: October 09, 2009, 08:00:27 PM »
Maybe you've seen my posts with pictures of the sweetest little boy in the world, my four-legged "stepson" Moose, who belonged to my ex, Ben.

Ben passed away Wednesday night.  He had been on dialysis for 3 years and last December suffered a debilitating stroke.  He decided to stop dialysis about 3 weeks ago, and after breaking a hip Tuesday morning went into Hospice care. He went very peacefully in his sleep. I'll be going to Texas City tomorrow morning for the service, and driving back afterwards.  I'm looking forward to seeing his family members that I know, and especially the ones I've been in touch with the last couple of years without having actually met them in person.

It's a 4-hour drive.  We do that in Texas. We also share our "tranquilizers" with the matriarchs that keep us going.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2009, 08:02:37 PM by Basquo »

Offline Cliff

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2009, 08:30:41 PM »
Sorry for your loss, Creighton.

Offline GNYC09

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2009, 08:39:18 PM »
I'm sorry to hear this.  My sympathies. 

Offline Texan38

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2009, 09:10:10 PM »
So sorry to hear such sad news.  Have a safe drive. Take care.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,658
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2009, 09:42:43 PM »

It sounds like your friend had a lot of challanges undeservedly thrown his way.  It just doesn't seem right that one person could be so bedeviled.  That he could make this decision on his own shows his strength as a man.  He has my deepest admiration.

And you and his family and friends have my condolences.


Offline Joe K

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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2009, 09:50:14 PM »
Dear Creighton,

You have my deepest condolences on your loss. 

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2009, 11:11:32 PM »

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir

Offline Jody

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2009, 11:49:33 PM »
Creighton...I'm sorry for the loss of your former partner Ben who so obviously meant a great deal to you at a time in your life.  My condolences to you and your loved ones.

"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2009, 03:38:18 AM »


   Sorry to hear that your ex has passed, you have my sincerest condolences.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2009, 05:47:59 AM »
Hi Creighton,

Sad passing and sadder still because of all the mindful decisions Ben had to make. You're in the profession so you know firsthand how much tougher it can be for an alert patient. However, deliberate self liberation on the other hand for some can be calming. Being the conductor is still good even though cars are unhitching from one's train.

A four-hour drive will give you time for reflection about good times you shared, his life and how great it is you are going to meet with his family and loved ones.

I'm sure you'll take along some music.

My sympathy.

Offline BT65

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2009, 07:16:47 AM »

So sorry for your loss.  I hope the memories offer you some comfort.
  In sadness,
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info http://www.aidsmap.com/Condoms/page/1044833/
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. http://www.poz.com/factsheets/fs_2014_09_prep.pdf


Offline bocker3

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  • Posts: 3,980
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2009, 08:26:44 AM »

So very sorry to hear of you loss....  I'll be holding you in my thoughts.

Sending a hug, too!!

Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2015 969/28% <20

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2009, 08:34:57 AM »
That's very sad news, Basquo.

A parting like this is hard. Sending you my condolences.
Andy Velez

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Posts: 7,498
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2009, 09:10:05 AM »

I am so sorry for your loss.  My deepest condolences.

Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg






Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 9/16/16,  t-cells are at 501,   Viral load remains <40

Current % is at 12%

 65 years young.

Offline pozniceguy

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  • Niceguy Dallas
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2009, 04:28:38 PM »
Creighton, so sad to hear of a loss like this.  when a close friend/loved one makes such difficult decisions it may sometimes be very hard to understand , we all make our choices and that is something to be honored. May  he rest in peace  at last  and be forever held in the loving memories of all those who knew him.

with great sadness
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 6,156
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2009, 07:42:45 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear this Creighton, thinking of you, and sending you and Ben's family prayers from NZ.

In sadness
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,376
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2009, 08:30:49 PM »
Thank you all so much for your kind words.  It was a long day; 200 miles there, the service, meeting the rest of the family and getting the hell out of there (which was what Ben would have wanted me to do!) all with drizzly weather on the drive down, half of it in the dark. I listened to old cassettes of my college radios show from the 80's, and some party tapes from the early 90's. One of his cousins cruised me. Again, I got the hell out of there.  I did make arrangments for lunch with his sister, though, and it was really nice sitting next to her while she was holding her niece, who is really her granddaughter, while listening to his niece, who is really his great niece, give her eulogy about how Ben was, at different times, her uncle, her brother, and depending on the situation and her feelings, her mother, father and son. Ben was his own person, and we all had to let him go at one time or another, but he was also strong enough to let go of himself this time. I'm working on a shrine of sorts, just in time for Dia de los Muertos.  Really, he couldn't have picked a better time to go (that's a line from Absolutely Fabulous, which he only watched to please me.)

Offline Robert

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Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2009, 11:02:41 PM »


this last post of your is going on my A-List of All American, All World, All Universe best time posts ever.


Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,376
Re: Losing a Friend
« Reply #18 on: November 02, 2009, 09:04:16 PM »
iFeliz Dia de los Muertos!

The candle is San Martin de Porres, who believe it or not is the patron saint of hairstylists, and the drink is a Mind Eraser, which Ben and I never drank regularly but is made with Skyy vodka, which we did.

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