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Author Topic: Please Help :(  (Read 2212 times)

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Offline Badluck?

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Please Help :(
« on: October 22, 2009, 01:19:16 AM »

I had been having sex with with my then girlfriend for about 2 months.   Every single act was WITH protection and there were no condom failures.  About 2 months ago, I noticed what looked like a small scab falling off the base of my penis one morning.  (it had been about 3 days since our last sexual contact)  I didn't think anything of it (cause it looked like a pimple) and went on with my day.  For the next few days it started to get worse,  more blisters/lesions (my best description) Oozing and scabbing.  I went to the doctor who confirmed it was a primary case of genital Herpes.  When I told the girlfriend about it she freaked out and then confessed to me that she is also HIV+.   She says she contracted both viruses 14 years ago,  never took any medication (for HIV) and she feels just fine. (I'm not sure these details are relevant but i don't want to leave anything out.

I followed the logic of herpes being a strong and contagious virus and that I hopefully only contracted that but nothing else.   I have read all the posts I could find with similar circumstances where you guys explain how transmission likely occurs only inside the body but as you can imagine,  we all think our circumstance is unique.
The fear and doubt has crept back and now I find myself scouring the internet where I find numerous snippets of data linking HSV with HIV.  Nowhere do they distinguish between genital contact INSIDE the body versus on an external exposed area.  I hope to dear god or some other saving grace that I come out of this somewhat OK.  I haven't really reconciled the Herpes yet but its something that i am now educated on and live with responsibly. 
I think the only real question I have in addition to needing someone to spill my guts to is>>>>Are there any reliable statistics on transmission under the circumstances I described? You guys sound so confident on the unlikelyhood of external transmission. I want to believe.....
The internet is a scary place.  If i keep surfing the web for answers, I will lose my mind completely.

Please help with either facts, testing advice, reassurance or all of the above.  I sure could use it.   

Sincerely,

Scared and Sad

p.s  My last unprotected sexual act was in the early 90's (got tested afterwards)

p.s.s.  After reading your responses to  X 000s of postings for the past few days,  I have come to admire your patience and desire to give people the straight scoop.

Thank you, Thank you

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2009, 01:25:32 AM »
You've always had protected anal and vaginal sex then you've never been at risk of contracting HIV.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2009, 08:09:48 AM »
Contracting herpes does not change or lessen the protection you had against HIV by using condoms.

As with other STDs, herpes is much easier to contract than HIV. It can happen from skin-to-skin contact. It is true that during an active outbreak of herpes that your immune system would be down and make you more vulnerable to other STDs, but as long as you consistently use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse you will be well protected against HIV transmission.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Badluck?

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2009, 11:04:22 AM »

Thank you both.

Should I get the test or no?  I'm reading from your response as no.

And are there any statistics of the type I was referring to?

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2009, 11:17:07 AM »
No, I don't see any need for HIV testing. If you do it, it will be solely for your peace of mind and I would certainly expect for you to test negative, based on what you have reported.

Andy Velez

Offline Badluck?

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2009, 07:46:01 PM »

I already had a blood test scheduled so I went ahead and did it to end this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  This Saturday will be the 13 week mark since this started so the test should be pretty conclusive

I'm just going to try to remain hopeful.  I will get my results next Friday

Thanks for your advice and encouragement Andy and Rod.   

Scared Silly

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2009, 08:27:40 AM »
Good luck. Fortunately fears aren't facts, so I do expect your result to be negative.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Badluck?

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2009, 06:41:52 PM »
To Ann and Rod,

I get my results Friday.  I am freaking out as i have not told anyone and have to deal with the anxiety on my own.  Apologies in advance for this posting

As i mentioned before,  my encounter was with someone who is HIV positive,  i DID contract hepres as confirmed by a doctor.  All the sex we had was protected vaginal WITH a condom.  The hepres showed up on an unprotected area (on base)

Rod-  you said i did not have a risk,  for the love of god i wish i could be as confident as you

Ann,  you sound so confident as to the mode of transmission (that is needs to be inside the body)  I cant find this specific detail anywhere on the damned internet.  Do other "experts" refute this claim.
I'm done searching the internet,  the internet is pure hell...

I am going insane and almost too afraid to get the results...

I just needed someone to write to.  I'm going nuts out here.

Would i be a very unlucky person if i did indeed get it this way?  Or would you maintain that i cant get it this way.
Would you be be shocked and surprised if i drew the short straw in this encounter.

omg,  I'm just going nuts     

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2009, 08:37:08 AM »
This is the point where I recommend doing some deep and slow breathing anytime you find yourself tensing up. It really works. Deep breath in slowly and exhale. And do it again. And do it everytime you find yourself getting nuts and overwhelmed.

You have one more day of waiting and then you'll get what I expect is going to be a negative test result.

Now, BREATHE!

We'll be expecting to hear back from you with your result.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Badluck?

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  • Posts: 6
Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2009, 11:08:27 AM »
Andy,

I just got my results.  BOTH the antibody and WB are negative!!

Words can't describe the personal relief but more importantly i want to thank you guys for your support during this time.

You guys provide an invaluable service,  is there any way i can return the favor?

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2009, 12:05:37 PM »
Very glad to hear your good news.

The best thing you can do now is to never have unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse until such time as you maybe in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have reliably tested negative together.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline Badluck?

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2009, 12:39:53 PM »
Thank you so much sir.

One last question and I'm not sure if this is the forum.

The person with whom i had the encounter with-  I mentioned that SHE told me she is positive
Diagnosed 12yrs ago,  never taken any meds,  never had any ARS symptoms she can recall,  doesn't have any symptoms today.   Is it possible she could have had a false positive on two tests way back in the 90's??  Her tests were 2 yrs after her exposure (12yrs ago. exposure was 14 yrs ago).  They told her then that the virus was undetectable.  I'm having a hard time reconcoling all these facts.  I'm trying to encourage her to go get retested to make sure.  Is this a good idea?  If so, Could you kindly tell me what specific tests she should get to re-confirm?  I have read about a lot of people who test false positive

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2009, 02:29:40 PM »
Anyone who has any doubts about their test result should just get the standard ELISA test. It is widely available. Many testing sites also use the approved Rapid test which can give a result in as little as 20 minutes.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please Help :(
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2009, 04:27:20 PM »
BL,

She can re-comfirm with an anitbody test, as Andy mentions. If that is positive, it needs to be confirmed with a Western Blot test. The various tests are explained in the Testing Lesson linked to in this forum's Welcome thread found at the top of the page. While false positive antibody tests are fairly common, false positive WBs are NOT. That's why the WB is used as a confirmation tool.

It is totally possible for a person to be hiv positive, not on meds, but yet have an undetectable viral load. These people are known as Elite Controllers. This means their body, for a currently unknown reason, can control the virus without meds and keep the virus down to undetectable levels. If she is an Elite Controller, there are studies she can enrol in. Scientists are very interested in studying these people because it is hoped the findings may lead to a cure and/or vaccine.

Ann
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