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Author Topic: 1st time experience  (Read 5013 times)

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Offline aliasjbt

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1st time experience
« on: August 15, 2006, 12:41:25 PM »
About 6 weeks ago,  I had to try my first male on male experience.  I met this man at his hotel and we proceeded to get to know each other.  I put condoms on both of us.  I proceeded to perform oral on him with the condom in place and then he did the same for me.  Afterwards, he started to j/o (using his saliva).  I performed oral on him again (with the same condom intact).  This time the condom tasted salty.  I would assume that it was his saliva or my saliva that I was tasting.  I performed oral using my teeth (gently).  I don't think that the condom was damaged at all.  Afterwards, I started to j/o and he put his finger in my anus (just barely).  We both climaxed.  Here are my concerns.
1)  Let's assume that this guy is positive;  What are the chances that I could have contracted the virus.  We used condoms for mutual j/o and oral sex.  We never had any anal sex.
2)  Should I be worried about his saliva (being on the condom) then transferring to my mouth.  Is there a risk of infecting from this?
3)  He fingered my anus for a short time.  Although, he barely penetrated my anus with his finger, I'm concerned that he may have somehow had pre-cum or saliva on his finger.  Am I at risk here?
4)  When he jacked off to completion, I touched the base of his penus and sack to help him climax.  I never came in to contact with pre-cum or sperm.  Was this safe?
5)  As I jacked off to completion, he used his fingers to play with my balls.  I'm concerned that since he had already cum, he may have had cum on his fingers as he touched me.   Is this a risk?

I have read the information about HIV on your main blog.  I'm extremely paranoid and am experiencing some symptoms such as sinusitis, eye stie, soar throat 3 weeks ago, etc.  This is the only risky experience that I've had.  I'm married and worry that I may have put my wife at risk.  Thanks so much for listening.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2006, 01:01:13 PM »
alias,

You have not done a single thing to put yourself at risk of hiv infection. Mutual masturbation and fingering are not risks. Getting a blowjob is not a risk. Giving a blowjob carries a slight risk, but as you used condoms for oral, there is absolutely no risk involved.

Symptoms or the lack of symptoms means absolutely nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Nothing you report is in any way hiv specific. If you are worried about your health, see your health care provider for a check up. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did NOT have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline aliasjbt

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2006, 06:31:07 PM »
Ann or anyone at the forum,

Thanks so much for your response.  I wrote you two weeks ago and now I'm freaking again.  Although I know that my event was low risk, I'm having problems with my eyes.  My family doctor thought that I had a stie but now  I'm going to an Opthamologist tomorrow because I think that it's something else.  My eyes are now both very dry, itchy and red underneath the lower eyelids.  I'm certain that it's something other than a stie.   I've convinced myself again that this is HIV related.  I've had this problem off and on for about 20 days.  It's been 7 weeks now since my "protected" potential exposure.  I know that I'm probably over reacting but I can't get it out of my mind.  Are eye problems "alone" a symptom of ARS?  I've had sinus drainage on and off also.  I know that you say that symptoms don't necessarily equal HIV, but I've convinced myself that my immune system can't fight off this eye infection or whatever it is.  Have any of you heard of eye problems being a sign of early HIV?  I'm just convinced that my body can't fight this infection.  Sorry to ramble and I hope that I used my thread correctly.  Thanks so much for all that you do.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2006, 07:54:50 PM »
I guess you aren't reading the replies that you've received. YOU CAN'T HAVE ARS OR HIV BECAUSE YOU HAD PROTECTED SEX. If you are having symptoms, they are NOT related to HIV.

Offline aliasjbt

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  • Posts: 5
Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2006, 08:14:16 PM »
I'm sorry Rod;  I know that you get bombarded by the same questions by the same people over and over again.   This disease is so terrifying and for me it's a situation where I can't really talk to anyone about my concerns being that I have risked destroying my family. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2006, 08:26:27 PM »
If you are not going to read the post replies, what good is it to ask the question? If you haven't already read the "Welcome" thread like you were suppose to. Take time to read it now.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2006, 08:28:07 PM by RapidRod »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2006, 09:19:44 PM »
Along with excitement and pleasure, exploring sexually can also stimulate a lot of anxiety.

As you have already accurately been told there was nothing in your activities which put you at risk for HIV transmission.

So what we're talking about here are feelings and not anything based in HIV science.

Of course it's always when you have troubling symptoms to check them out with your doctor. Otherwise I can tell you that HIV is not the issue here. If your anxiety persists you might find it worthwhile to talk with a therapist or other professional to get some help in sorting things out.

This is no way and HIV situation. Period. End of story. No kidding.

Cheers,   
Andy Velez

Offline aliasjbt

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  • Posts: 5
Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2006, 09:41:57 PM »
I know that I'll catch a hard time about this question but here goes anyway.  Even though I had low risk, I decided to test at 83 days (12 weeks).  I tested at a clinic using the rapid Orasure blood test (20 minutes).   My test came out negative.  I was happy until the technician said that I needed to retest at 6 months.  I said that everything that I read said that 12-13 weeks was conclusive.  He said no way and that he had seen several people test positive after the 3 month window.  That made me worry for a couple of reasons.  Since he was in conflict with everything that I was reading about the window period, I started to question in my mind whether or not he even knew how to conduct the test.  The CDC recommended this site so I'm hoping that they no what they're doing.  His statement about the window period has made me nervous along with the idea that maybe I recieved a false negative.  At the same time, I've had terrible problems with my eyes (sties in both eyes, loss of vision, bluriness, and blepharitis / all diagnosed by eye specialist). The blepharitis thing makes me nervous because it can be associated with HIV.  My main question is;  If I tested negative at 83 days for my low risk exposure, wouldn't I be pretty safe as far as HIV is concerned?  Would chronic eye problems be an HIV issue so early.  Please don't bash me over the head.  Just concerned.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2006, 09:50:08 PM »
You can forget what he said. The CDC changed the window period from 6-3 months in 2001 for a conclusive test. There are rare incidents of a positive result later than three months but you do not fall into that category. I don't know where your guy is getting his information. You didn't have a low risk, you had a NO risk.

Offline ScienceGuy25

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2006, 10:52:44 PM »
I second RapidRods response.  You did not need a test in the first place since you had NO risk of transmission. Furthermore a test at 3 months is considered conclusive....Therefore is should seem obvious to you that the fact that you had no risk, along with a conclusive 3 month negative result, reaffirms what we already knew. YOU are HIV negative.

You're right HIV is a scary thing but you need to keep to learn what the risks are and how you can protect yourself. The activities you participated in were no risk and you used protection for oral sex, it really doesn't get much safer than that. While everyone needs to be careful you should still be able to enjoy sex...If you get this kind of paralyzing fear everytime you have an episode of "safe" (protected) sex than this is a problem in of itself and should be addressed with a professional.

Offline aliasjbt

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2006, 07:43:50 PM »
last question I promise;  I went today for one more "peace of mind" test at 14 weeks.  Once again, the test was negative.  As I was testing, there were two men that tested before me that both tested positive (testing in the same room that I tested in after).  My question is, are retractable lancets that are used to draw blood for Oraquick safe.  I'm asking if they have a safety feature that doesn't allow them to be used more than once as these two men tested positve two minutes before I took my test.  So my concern would be the possibility of the same lancet used on these men could possibly have been used on me. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2006, 07:48:57 PM »
Get over it now. You're negative like you were advised and no clinic, hospital or Dr's office would reuse a lancet.

Offline ScienceGuy25

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  • Posts: 120
Re: 1st time experience
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2006, 08:36:10 PM »
Get over it now. You're negative like you were advised and no clinic, hospital or Dr's office would reuse a lancet.

Second that response. You are conclusively negative. Any more discussion about your status or getting infected from a lancet at the clinic borders on an unhealthy obsession/fear infection. Time to move on or seek the help of a mental health care professional if you can't get on with your life.

 


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