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Author Topic: OHh, Jus' Bite Me... Make My Day!  (Read 2554 times)

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Offline MWCLTonline

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OHh, Jus' Bite Me... Make My Day!
« on: November 08, 2009, 01:51:12 PM »
As someone considered a LTS (Long Term Survivor) of HIV/AIDS and a known public voice on our issues, I'm used to dealing with stigma and discrimination first coming OUT as gay and then as HIV+... :-\

BEDBUGS! :o  What are they?  ???
Where do they come from, how do you get them?  How do you get rid of them if you have them
and  what can or should you do to get rid of them?  :-[ If they get carried in and you think you may know who the carrier is; do you tell them and/or do you call the Landlord and let them know they're in the bldg at all?  >:( Who pays for whatever must be done and how drastic are the measures you have to take if you think the infestation is fairly recent, especially if you took preventive measures when the local problems hit the news???  In the meantime; do you tell your friends and family?  :-\

 ??? Okay kids, ever since spotting the symptom scurryin' cross the arm of my favorite recliner early Monday evenin'; I've disclosed to my case mgr who also happens to be based at our local regional Health Dept as well as my Landlord since I believe the carrier also lives in the building and all concurred that an inspection by an exterminator was the best course of action and an appt was scheduled for yesterday.  I'm still waitin' for the guy to show!?  ::)

 ;) As BB's have been a problem and in the news here since the spring, I had taken preventative precautions earlier by inspecting for the telltale signs and not finding any, thoroughly spraying & bagging my mattresses.   :) So for now, the 4 loads of laundry (do it now & have to re-do?) and I are just enjoyin' a great fall Sunday afternoon!  Go Cincy Bengals! ;D  What Makes My Day!?  The idea that BB's who feed on my blood die quicker than ever imagined!!!  ROFLMAO!!!

So; now that I have Y'All's attention and I've been checkin' out the lay of the ForumLand, I thought I'd say a proper HowdyDo!  :-*

“The Bar”
Come to the BadLands,
Haven for those who differ.
Step thru the door into a world
Aglow with fascinating intricacies.
Where facades are thrown off,
And the flight to freedom begins.
Drown the tenseness of a secret life,
In the sweet elixir of same-ness.
Wallow in the warmth of acceptance,
Shed your fears of rejection.
Live these hours to their fullest,
Let not the outside world interfere.
Be sustained by the smiles,
Tainted smiles that, out the door,
Fade into secretive defense.
Until the next flight...
M.W.C. - 2/78

"Coming OUT of Hiding:
A Retrospective Journey Through AIDS..."
A Memoir * Michael W. Connett

“On Coming Home”

“Home is not a place; it is an attitude.  It is an attitude which depends on how much we are able to feel at home with ourselves as well as with others.  Home is something which happens to a person; homecoming has less to do with geography than it has to do with a sense of personal integrity or inner wholeness.

The most important of all endeavors in life is to come home.  The most terrifying of fears is loneliness.  It means that one has become a stranger to himself, and consequently, to others.  To be lonely is to feel fear, to be forever unsettled, never at rest, in need of more reassurance than life can give.

Someone truly loves us when he brings us home; when he makes us comfortable with ourselves, when he takes from us the strangeness we feel at being who we are.  We are loved when we no longer are frightened with ourselves.”

“Dawn Without Darkness” - Anthony Padavano

This story is about my most important endeavor in life.  To experience that greatest love of all; to truly love myself, to shed the strangeness I feel at being who I am and to no longer be frightened with myself.  This is my attempt to finally get myself home before I die.  Much of the strangeness and the fear I’ve felt has been the result of the beliefs, words and actions of the people around me.  Naturally, the most important and influential of those has been my family.  I’ve never really felt at home with them because I’ve always been a stranger to them.  Now, I think I understand why and that there was never any malice intended.  But the hurt and pain have been real.  They need to understand that, and how it has affected my life.  They also need to know that that understanding is my only motive; because if they understand me and my life, maybe they’ll finally love me enough to bring me home.

Y'All take care...,
"HIV is something you live with every day for the rest of your life. You may never die of it, but you always die with it..."

"HIV is something you live with every day for the rest of your life. You may never die of It, but you will always die with it..."

Offline weasel

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Re: OHh, Jus' Bite Me... Make My Day!
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2009, 06:46:16 PM »
Hi Michael !

                 Good luck with your  plan  :)

    I have a loving   (   ignorant )   family !

    There is nothing that will change that !

    They are to self centered , As  am I probably . Or  it would NOT bother me

   that there are  hundreds of relatives that are more concerned with money ,  cars , houses .

     Hiding the fact they KNOW  I have    AIDS !

    Pretending  MY  feelings are  not worth  their time ??

   I wish you well !

  I no longer  really  care about anyone but my husband  :)

   I do not think life is long enough  to figure it all out .

                                           Just me ,

 P.S. Hope I got the Gist of your message right   :o


" Live and let Live "

Offline MWCLTonline

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Re: OHh, Jus' Bite Me... Make My Day!
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2009, 04:32:53 PM »
 ;D got this bite today: "I admire you.You responded to  a post of mine in this forum and you told me about your life and all that youve been through.I'm sorry it took me this long to respond. I felt strength from your posting.It helped bring out my inner strength and to not give up because  there's always hope.I believe God gives me what I can handle.Still its hard for me sometimes to  get on with my life.I get scared of the unknown and the known.  Again thank you for sharing your lifes experience."   ;)

"We wander but in the end there is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely. The condemned man has that joy."  Ugo Betti
"You know more than you think you do." -Benjamin Spock
"Not admitting a mistake is a bigger mistake." -Robert Half
"Nobody can be successful if he doesn't love his work, love his job." -David Sarnoff

You have an unusual gift for making a situation seem less dramatic, dear Pisces. Today, you will witness crises of all kinds. You will be the one who reassures people and who is able to sum up the situation objectively without panicking or exaggerating. This, coupled with your legendary calm, makes for a great combination!
The normal routine of your day will be disrupted early on by someone who needs your help with something entertaining. Turns out, they will end up giving you some help too, although you might not understand just how to ask them for it yet. In a business negotiation, your creativity will enable you to get what you want without sacrificing any of your hard-earned resources. If you make it clear that you are not willing to compromise, you must stand behind that statement.

 8) Greetings Y'All...!

“On Coming Home”

“Home is not a place; it is an attitude.  It is an attitude which depends on how much we are able to feel at home with ourselves as well as with others.  Home is something which happens to a person; homecoming has less to do with geography than it has to do with a sense of personal integrity or inner wholeness..."

“Dawn Without Darkness” - Anthony Padavano

I found the above noted book and passage back when I had graduated from High School and joined the Christian Brothers, for real! although the district I was in wasn't the one that owned & ran the winery!, long before HIV but just in time to deal with my first coming OUT...  NTway, it has always rang true and helped guide me on my Journey!   As I think abt it now; it comes down to Purpose -above to routinely treat & increase life expectancy, and Passion -what to do now that you have time left.  I've been on SSDI since '93 (2 yrs after I tested + and applied for it) and it has and continues to work for me as does Medicare and all its parts.  I'm poor but happy, or at least content, and I've been on this road a while now.  ;) 

The first milestone for me was getting my first computer and access to the internet  :o !  So finding us is a great start; if you don't find any Live groups +/or bodies to interact with locally right away, you can practice and interact with us here!  ;D

Now here's the thing; In Aug of '05, feeling the dread of impending old age and AIDS, I gave up my Sct8 apt and moved in w/ a GWSM friend who had bought a house that I helped him move into and fix-up that ended up w/ me being thrown out on the streets over the '05-6 winter!  I then bounced between a brother and some friends and finally ended up where I am in Spr '06 determined that I'd shed all my bad friends and influences and never be homeless again for the rest of my life  ;)...  So I've been out of the loop for awhile as well!

I've been an activist, advocate, posterboy, writer, web designer, ...but mostly just an old retired fart lately.  But now that I'm gonna Live! what gives me the most pleasure is writing and sharing my experiences -in person, print or online...  Hope this helps!

"Coming OUT of Hiding: A Retrospective Journey Through AIDS..."
A Memoir * Michael W. Connett
:-\ BB Update!  Waited on Sat for Ext to come and inspect(test) but was a no show...  Haven't seen anything else since first sighting  :-X   continued to put off today...  Called the office yesterday and was told Ext had emergency was sposed to call and is rescheduled for this Sat  :o  So got to talkin' w/ Lisa @ the ofc and we decided that, perhaps, they ain't BB's at all -but we still sure as hell wanna know what they Be :)  Apparently BB's don't scurry,  are 1/4" like the websites say/show and she wondered if maybe they weren't fleas!  She decided she'd come over before Ext and see what all the fuss is abt and will call me...  ::)

 ;) Ugo Betti made my day as I began and have, for the most part, continued My Journey feeling like the proberbial Dead man walking...  But once you experience that certain peace and joy you can draw on it to help you just keep Living! even though your dreams be tossed & blown...

Walk on, Y'All!

"HIV is something you live with every day for the rest of your life. You may never die of It, but you will always die with it..."

Offline MWCLTonline

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Re: OHh, Jus' Bite Me... Make My Day!
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2009, 07:19:35 PM »
  ::) Verdict in, I'm infested!  :-[
Hiv/Aids Support and Chat 
Michael Connett aka MWCLTonline Check out 'My Page'
Link: http://hivchat.ning.com/profiles/profile/show?id=1yg7txoj0jp1a

Last Saturday...
 SoBankBeacon(Me): I guess this is gonna be like waitin' for the cable guy...  They sd Sat but no specific time
Frank (my bro): waitin for who
SoBankBeacon: exterminator
Frank: OIC
SoBankBeacon: sposed to inspect the whole bldg and let us know what to do next, if anything
SoBankBeacon: So what's up?
Frank: nodda just chillin. I was up late last night and still got up and went into work this morn so pretty tired
SoBankBeacon: did you see SGU last nite or Survivor Thurs?
Frank: Surv yes  SGU no it's on the DVR
SoBankBeacon: russell may finally be on his way out
Frank: yea I think so, that will be sweet.   you been watching the gay bros on amazing race
SoBankBeacon: I missed SGU too so i'm hopin I had the DVR set
SoBankBeacon: yep,  sam & dan
Frank: yea, they could win it
SoBankBeacon: that wud be cool - much better role models than naked Richard Hatch!
SoBankBeacon: still waitin' for the exterminator/inspector   
Frank: he aint comin at this point i don't think
SoBankBeacon: means I'm stuck till I can call the office on Monday...
Frank: why is that
SoBankBeacon: well, until I know what it is I saw and/or what to do next, I just figure I wudn't leave and carry them away or do more until I know...
SoBankBeacon: BearCat Brawl across the street again this wknd 
Frank: ????
SoBankBeacon: new girls across street are UC alums & they have big game tonite...
Frank: bed bugs?  mom would freak
SoBankBeacon: She sd, btr u than me; let me know how it turns out...
Frank: hahahaha
SoBankBeacon: So now that I've talked to people and looked at all this stuff online, I'm not sure if they are or aren't.  W/ my luck, it'll be something else that's worse - bed lice
Frank: oh geesh
SoBankBeacon: What I've seen here don't look like what's online, they look more like lil razor edged paint specs
Frank: interesting, where did you find them at in the apt
SoBankBeacon: some tiny lil bug that gets into old houses w/ lead and...
SoBankBeacon: I looked down and saw one scurry across the arm of my orange chair and saw one crawlin' on my white sock when I crossed my leg
Frank: I hope I didn't pick any of them and and bring them home with me
SoBankBeacon: and then when I changed the sheet I saw a few on top of the box spring (previously sprayed & bagged in defense) next to the baseboard, I vacumned & sprayed around the baseboard and then sprayed the orange chair w/ alcohol/febreeze, by then I had talked to Clint/HlthDept and the landlord and this was all done by the time you got here so I'm sure we were 'safe'
SoBankBeacon: ironic metaphor for HIV/testing!
SoBankBeacon: The Navy Has the Highest HIV Rate of All the Branches of the Military
SoBankBeacon: Gee, and I thought there weren't any gays in the military   
SoBankBeacon: Greetings!  Happy TGIF...the 13th


Well, it's Sunday morning (11/15)  and here I am pondering why...  After I've survived and lived thru all the other stuff I have, it comes down to me & these damn critters
Pisces:  You need to figure out what's important to you and what's not. It's time to take stock of what's going on in your life. The good news is that your significant other, trusted friend or mentor is more than willing to talk about it, and they'll have just the perspective you need. All you have to do is call that all-important meeting. Don't be afraid to put your heart and soul on the line.
Think of today as a time of restoration for yourself, dear Pisces, in which you can come to a point of great ease and comfort. Trust yourself and the people around you. Open your eyes to the reality of the situation at hand. If you are currently working through some major changes in your life, make sure you have faith that whatever happens will work out to your benefit.
Just when you thought you had everything planned out and working smoothly, dear Pisces, (love) LIFE!  comes in and clogs up the works. Suddenly your attention is diverted and your concentration flies out the window as that dazzling being A BedBUG!  catches your eye. This could be a good thing or a bad thing,  depending on how you view the situation. Remember that both aspects of your life are important, and the key now is to find a healthy balance between the two.
Hhmm...   "WTF: Now!  I'm gonna Live...!?"  For this ...  I need a 'cookie'...
OK! So now its Monday, at least its not rainy! LOL...
"Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be." -Daniel J. Boorstin  and   "We wander but in the end there is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely. The condemned man has that joy." Ugo Betti
"This should be a peaceful day, dear Pisces. Be sure to make the most of it because it is the calm before the storm. This could be a day of discussion and exchange with close friends or colleagues at work. It is an ideal day to tighten some of your professional ties. It's possible that some people will suddenly seem more reasonable than you had imagined them to be, so listen up!
Sounds good to me y'all !  I usually don't do much on Monday but research (read the Sun paper, flyers & clip coupons), assess and plan the week ahead.  In this case however, the  week culminates in the arrival of 'The Exterminator'  sometime between 1:30-3:00 Saturday!!!  So here's a little diddy I used to start me up today:
WARNING!  Mature audiences only!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03PnU27cWDs
Research has yielded  an interesting take on life in the USA Weekend Magazine
Three invaluable life lessons you can learn from playing poker
By Dennis McCafferty

All you really need to know, you can learn from poker. Well, perhaps not everything. But this card game can strengthen skills that are needed in work and life. Just ask Norman Chad, who will co-host the finals of the 40th annual World Series of Poker on Tuesday (ESPN, 9 p.m. ET).

"Some people say poker is nothing more than gambling," says Chad, a syndicated sports humor columnist who appears in the "Chicago Sun-Times," the "Milwaukee Journal Sentinel" and other top U.S. newspapers. "But it requires players to examine risk vs. reward factors, not to mention command an understanding of people and how they tick."

Chad says these three key poker strategies can help you succeed in everyday life, too:

Look for subtle clues. "It's all about 'the tell' in poker," Chad says, so observe the body language of the people around you. "You can use non-verbal clues to determine if someone's hand is strong or weak. You're always studying tendencies of your opponents. It could be the pulse on their neck. Or it could be how they place their chips." He recalls how one player stacked chips neatly when he had a good hand and casually flung them into the pot when his hand was weak, practically giving himself away.

This talent translates seamlessly into real-world needs, both in business or in your personal life. "You'd better know if your boss is aggravated before you ask him for a raise, and non-verbal clues are key to that," Chad says. "In sales, you'll increase production if you can read people and know when to back down or when to be aggressive. Then, after the workday is done, knowing how to read the opposite sex never hurts in a singles bar."

Be objective. Poker players need to put aside emotions and accurately assess the strength of their assets to decide whether it's worth additional investment to stay in the game. A dead-on assessment can mean the difference between a big payoff or a financial plunge. "You need to ask, 'Is the possible return on investment going to be worth the risk?' " Chad says. "It's not much of a stretch between that and trying to evaluate whether you should invest in a kitchen upgrade for your home. How much will it cost, and how much potential value will it add?"

Remember the past. An investment firm will tell you that past performance doesn't guarantee future results. However, past performance often can reveal insights. Poker players study opponents' strategies and store that data. "You'll fill your memory bank with what players will do in a given situation," Chad says. "Do they play it safe and fold early, even if they have an OK hand? Or do they push it and bet higher, even when they don't have much? As in the business world, you have to do your homework. The most dangerous competitor, after all, is the one who's capable of doing something you never saw coming."


To my friends down in Derby Town; saw that you've 'activated' so send me your Yahoo ID/address, pls! ty...  In working the boards at http://forums.poz.com/index.php?action=profile;u=16326;sa=showPosts  I've made friends with a nice young man from y'alls neck o' the woods, so maybe I'll come visit!

Well, the exterminator will be back in 2 days to "treat" my humble HIVe (Home)!  I've done everything I can think of to prepare so I'm hoping that after we're sprayed down I'll feel like gettin out & about and back to anticipating & preparing for The Holidays!

Y'All take care...!  ;)
"HIV is something you live with every day for the rest of your life. You may never die of It, but you will always die with it..."


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