Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 26, 2014, 12:46:10 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 647445
  • Total Topics: 49334
  • Online Today: 170
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 138
Total: 140

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: ORAL SEX  (Read 4678 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
ORAL SEX
« on: September 19, 2009, 01:00:39 PM »
Hi girls , I haven't been here for a very long time... I have a third misscarriage in May and I felt like I need sometine healing before getting into this on the 4th time. So Anyway... I have this embaressing question .. U know I am married for a none hiv healty man. Up untill today I dont know what is ok and what is not on having oral sex , I mean ... I know for sure that I can do to him  ::) but.. We never realy understood what is the "policy" of him doing it to me .. and as such .. I always do not feel secure when he wanted to do that and asked him not to ... but on the last few month, after I took a break for fertility issues I felt that I want to have it in our sex relations and I do not have the courage to ask my dr. so I thought here I will definitely have the answers :-)))

So ??

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2009, 01:44:55 PM »
Panda,

You can absolutely give him oral. Saliva isn't infectious. Not one man has ever been infected by getting oral sex. Ever.

He can also go down on you. Giving oral to a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2009, 03:35:43 PM »
Well.. I just think.. they say the virus is in the blood and in the sex fluid..So I just wonder if he is going down on me.. if the sex fluid can't infect him...

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,054
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2009, 06:12:36 PM »
No, it cannot infect him.  There is something in the saliva (Ann can probably be more clear) that acts as a barrier to HIV.  So, the answer to that question is "no."  Enjoy!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2009, 06:41:07 AM »
Hi Panda,

I was in a rush when I answered you last night, so you got the short version. :) Here's the long version:

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies* started rolling in (see below), what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

*There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

When I was with a negative man (for over eight years) we engaged in oral sex - both ways - and he remained hiv negative. I wouldn't tell you that him giving you oral wasn't a risk unless I was very, very confident that it's true.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline camille07

  • Member
  • Posts: 570
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2009, 06:42:05 PM »
Hey Ladies-

Ok, I'm really confused.  The new guy in my life gave me oral  as one of the first sexual means of contact.  I didn't stop him, because one of the things I had read was that the risk was incredibly low to nearly impossible for transmitting the virus.  Then when I brought him to one of the local counselors, for education (he's neg), they seemed really concerned that he had performed oral sex on me and for a while he was a nervous nelly.  The gave him a test at point and now they want him back in the next month. 

Ann, are there any websites that I can show him to make him feel more secure with what I was telling him.

Thanks :)

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2009, 06:08:20 AM »
Hi Cams,

I can't think of a single, one-stop type site that will give you the information I gave above. I know what I know as a result of hours of pouring over peer-review studies and papers. I did this years ago when I was first diagnosed and with a negative man. We were also told by the powers that be that oral from him to me was a no-no. We tried dental dams (a complete waste of time) and also plastic food wrap, which was a little better, but still pretty much a waste of time.

He liked to go down so I started looking into the real facts and figures. And what I came up with told me that he was more likely to find a multi-million winning lottery ticket lying in the gutter than he was to end up positive over going down. Everything I read I distilled into the speil I gave above. And yes, I have that in a file I can cut and paste from, as I use it in the Am I forum and it gets a little tedious to re-write it each time I need it.

The thing is with those who work in the hiv field is that not only are a lot of them not hiv positive themselves, but many of them are also paranoid of hiv. They lead with their hearts instead of with facts and figures and their intellect.

One thing I can tell you that might help him is simple testing. When my neg partner and I found out about my status, he tested every three months at first, then six months, then yearly, then less than yearly. We were together for over eight years and he remained hiv negative. As time went on and he continually tested negative, we both gained confidence in that we were doing all we needed to do to keep him hiv negative. Which was using condoms for intercourse. And that's it. Just for intercourse. The phase where we avoided oral (him to me) only lasted a few months. I told him what I discovered in my research and it was enough for him. He could see that the woman who told us to use dental dams was just overly cautious/paranoid.

Oh, and one last thing. There has NEVER been a confirmed, documented case of oral transmission from a woman to a man. Never, in all the years of this pandemic. There have been one or two cases where it was initially claimed, but then the persons were found to have had unptrotected sexual contact outside their relationship and that was the true source of their infection.

Oh, and I just thought of something else. Cams, you're on meds and undetectable, yes? Then re-read the bit about him finding a winning lottery ticket and take it to the power of ten. :)

Good luck Cams, I'm so glad you and your man got together and you're bringing each other happiness!

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
« Last Edit: September 22, 2009, 06:10:59 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline camille07

  • Member
  • Posts: 570
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2009, 07:28:50 AM »
Thanks Ann :)

Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2009, 01:54:59 PM »
Yesterday me and my hubby went to a resturant .. I started to tell him what I read here about the oral sex .. well he didn't accept it and said that with all the respect to the forum he will not be convinced untill he will hear it from my Dr.
Is there any chance the Dr. will give a different opinion ?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2009, 03:13:57 PM »
Panda,

Yes, there is a chance you'll get a different opinion. I've met healthcare workers who either haven't educated themselves on the subject of man to woman oral, or refuse to give any advice that doesn't err on the extreme side of caution. But a well-educated, up-to-date and open-minded doctor will tell you exactly what I did. I've discussed this in depth with my own hiv doc and he's in agreement with my conclusion regarding man to woman oral. No risk.

Good luck with this, Panda.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: ORAL SEX
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2009, 08:02:05 PM »
The last time I went to my reassessment at my ASO, it seemed like they are being more cautious.  I remember one of the first times I went and I told them I was in a relationship with a poz man, who is on the same meds as me, who is also undetectable and that we had unprotected sex and she didn't have anything to say about it, this last time, she was all up in arms and kept telling me we needed to use condoms all the time. ::)  When I asked why, she couldn't really give me any explanation?

My ID doc doesn't ask me anything about sex at all, but then my SO goes to him too.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.