Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 28, 2014, 02:30:04 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 24072
  • Latest: Esfesf
Stats
  • Total Posts: 647677
  • Total Topics: 49358
  • Online Today: 157
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 121
Total: 121

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: where to start?  (Read 980 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline sincerelyscared

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
where to start?
« on: September 16, 2009, 01:02:37 PM »
Hard not to jump to conclusions, but appreciate that this is why this forum is here.  Glad to see that there is real balance here as well when it comes to feedback.

Ok...

I'm scared out of my mind.  I'm an idiot.  I have it all and I've chanced it due to some serious psycho issues when it comes to sex addiction.  Have visited sex workers repeatedly for the last couple of years.  Have always used a condom for all penetration, and been very careful, but have just remembered that it got out of control one night and in the midst of the action in a bar, I actually let a girl slide on my stick about 2 months ago... I don't exactly remember when, I was so drunk.  I'm not making excuses, I just really don't know when.

I now have a single lesion about an inch away from the base of my penis that has been festering for nearly a week.  Fever - past 5 days - bounces around, high of 102.5 but floats at about 99.8, dropped to 98 now and again.  Mouth ulcers at the back and side of my tongue.  Lymph nodes swollen, painful to swallow.  Loss of appetite - but have been having something small for bfast and dinner. 

Will go tomorrow for a HIV test, but have been on penicillin for the past two days as when I saw the doc, he said that it probably was syphillis and, why didn't I ask for a HIV test - I was sacred and frankly, I wasn't even thinking about HIV.  Why?  Like I've seen here in the feedback - I had ALWAYS used a condom and they never have broken.  And that one single freaking time of not being protected, as described above, only came to mind yesterday.  I'm such a freaking idiot.  I have it all.  Amazing career.  Amazing best-friend wife.  Amazing small child.  Let the flames come...

I have had two sleepless nights and I am actually feeling like I could be happy to be diagnosed as long as my beautiful, wonderful wife isn't infected.  The child is not at risk.  I'm an incredibly bad type-A personality, as I need to be in control.  So, with this, I have done nothing but work through EVERY SINGLE scenario.  Maybe I need to take the rest to another thread.  But if I've given this to my wife, I need to know now, has anyone, anyone figured out how to make it work?  She isn't strong - she's sweet - and I am so scared that she'll implode.  The last two nights have been sleepless.  I have already sworn off of alcohol, off of late night dinners with colleagues, etc..etc.. and most of all, totally interested in entering therapy.  I don't care about what changes I need to make - I WILL MAKE THEM.  I accept responsibility.  But I would really appreciate if anyone can tell me that they've seen it work...  that someone has pulled it out of the fire... that the couple has managed to stay together and battle it together...after the guy, who's been leading a totally 2nd life (and I mean totally, nobody knows me or would recognise me when I cheat, I'm nothing like myself), screws it up and not only is his infidelity but the transmission of HIV is what smacks his college sweetheart and now wife of 9+ years, out of left field.

If this turns bad... I will rot with the worst of them.  I am scared out of my mind.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: where to start?
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2009, 01:13:57 PM »
Sin,

You need to stop putting the cart before the horse. STIs like herpes and syphilis are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. I hope the doctor took swabs and blood test to confirm or rule out syphillis, instead of just blindly treating you. If the lesion on your penis is painful, it's more likely to be herpes. He should have done a full STI panel on you, not just throw antibiotics at you.

As far as hiv goes, you're not very likely to become infected from such a one-time, brief encounter. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man.

An hiv test tomorrow will give you a very good indication of your status, as the vast majority of people will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week (or more) negative result is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point. Only a three month test is conclusive.

If you haven't already had a complete STI screen, you need to have that done as well.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sincerelyscared

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: where to start?
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2009, 01:33:34 PM »
Understood.  The horse vs. cart thing is something I do because I analyse things for a living.  It doesn't necessarily mean I lock into something and put blinders on, I just like to work with matrices and all the possibilities... if I can map and account for the worst, then everything else that goes right, turns out to be upside.  You might think that's a waste of time, but it just is a different way to live.  And one might say, that it's foolish, excessive or manic but I enjoy the fact that once I've broken everything down - even when I haven't had to - and I know that no matter what happens, I've got a plan and a read on where I'm headed.  Some wait to cross bridges, I like to design them.  I'm not chest beating either and thanks again - most of all I'm not trying to be a burden.  You guys run a tight ship here.  Kudos - very impressive.

The doc took a swab and my follow up is tomorrow.  He's left a voicemail saying that he's got the results and "they aren't exciting or urgent".  I was asleep.  He's pretty laid back and I hope he did a full STI panel - I wasn't exactly a great patient and didn't ask what he'd test for - I was still gaming this... like I said, I have some therapy ahead... but yeah, we'll see tomorrow.  He threw the antibiotics at me and the lesion (not on the shaft but in the pubic area) is still festering but has gone from being super painful and tender to being itchy.  Hoping that my grandmother's rule of thumb is that it's healing.  So, yes, the lesion was painful but was singular and doc was of the opinion that Herpes was usually clusters - but of course there are variations.  I hope that he hasn't just only done a syphillis test and it's come back negative.

Will keep you posted if necessary.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: where to start?
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2009, 02:07:48 PM »
sin,

Syphilis lesions are painless, so it's highly unlikely to be that if the lesion was "super painful". That and the itching are hallmarks of herpes. It's also common for a fever to accompany a primary herpes outbreak. While herpes sometimes manifest in clusters, it's not uncommon for only one blister to be present. I know, I have herpes myself.

Keep us posted if you wish, but just make sure you've had a full STI panel, including an hiv test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.