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Author Topic: Very Worried, 20yofirst time having anal and had awful experience- 1 night stand  (Read 1383 times)

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Offline veryworriednewbie

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Hi everyone, I'm very worried about a bad experience I recently had 5 days ago. I met a handsome older gentleman at a gay club I frequent, I had been drinking and he invited me to come back to his place after we felt like we connected after talking for an hour or so. We started hooking up, and one thing lead to another, and we had oral and anal. I was the bottom. Several things happened that have me really freaked out and I was hoping you guys would be nice enough to relieve my fears, and/or offer advice if you think my situation is sticky. So basically, here's what went down, I gave him head for maybe 45 seconds to a minute, issue is that I had 4 large canker sores and I am very worried that I could have contracted something through them. He did not ejaculate in my mouth. Second, I have never bottomed before and he convinced me to do it. He used lots of lube and put on a condom, the penetration lasted for 3-4 minutes, and the condom did not break. What are the chances of anything leaking out the bottom and getting inside me, or there being a hole in the condom that allowed precum to get out. He pulled out before he came, I watched him with my own two eyes. The next morning we had protected sex again, I bottomed once again, this time for 3-4 minutes, and I watched him cum inside the condom once again. I'm scared because I haven't heard a word from him since we had sex. I'm only 20 so I am very new to all of this, and worried he might have had something and even though he swore up and down he was clean, I am scared he just used me for sex and nothing else. He promised he'd call me this week, but nothing. I feel used and scared. I went to the local AHF clinic and told the HIV counselor what went down, and he said I should be fine, but I am still frightened and feel alone and scared. I was hoping you guys could help me not feel alone and scared and give me your honest opinion of if I'm alright. 1) I'm worried I could have contracted something through oral with my canker sores. 2) I'm worried there is a chance precum leaked out of the base of the condom or something and I got something. I had never bottomed before. I'm scared I will get something.3) I feel used and hurt because I thought we had actually connected and now he wants nothing to do with me. 4) the anxiety I'm experiencing from this encounter is awful. My daily life is plagued by it and its starting to effect my immediate quality of life. The couselor told me to get a "DNA Test" in 2 and a half weeks. What is this test, and is it effective? Please help me. I've texted him twice, he's 43, half white half black. Very nice, very wealthy, and apparently very busy or not into me. He is in amazing shape and has very healthy features... I'm so scared. I'm literally worried sick and feel like I'm coming down with a cold, when would symptoms start to set in from HIV infection?

Please help me, and thank you in advance

also, I fell into the pitfall of googling "can you get HIV from protected sex" and I read things that I did not need to. I am so beyond frightened now after reading accounts of people getting HIV from protected sex, and from oral with sores. Are these just scare stories? I feel like crying and I live all alone in the city with no family and all my friends are straight and dont understand that it is riskier for bottoms.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2015, 03:41:57 AM by veryworriednewbie »

Offline veryworriednewbie

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also, I should add that I have a prince albert piercing and he performed oral sex on me for 2 minutes. I also have pierced nipples and he sucked on each one for quite a while while he penetrated me. I also read online that genital piercings are a risk factor and now im even more worried.  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( Please help, should I be worried. He swore up and down he was clean, but the AHF worker told me: "that's what they all say" I'm so frightened. Are piercings really a risk? Is this information False? The AHF worker told me I had 0 risk, but I'm starting to worry that maybe something got in through my piercings as I recieved unprotected oral sex and also gave with several large canker sores, and he sucked on my nipple, one of which I think was inflamed.

Offline Jeff G

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  • Posts: 17,061
  • How am I doing Beren ?
You had protected anal sex and that was not a risk for HIV ... an intact condom means no risk for HIV . The oral was not a risk. You need to stop messaging the guy with HIV questions, you never had a risk and if you had the only test that matters is your own taken at the appropriate time . You do not need testing at this time for this incident but I am going to give you information on testing that you can trust so that you know the facts . You can read about HIV testing here ... http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/HIVtests_5029.shtml

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP


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