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Author Topic: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"  (Read 3532 times)

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Offline the trebmeister

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I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« on: September 10, 2009, 10:17:14 PM »
i wish the forums had a way of filtering posts so i'd never see anything in "Am I infected?" -- i don't know how rod and andy and the rest do it day-to-day. 

"the head of my penis touched her vaginal hair.. and 28 days later i noticed a pimple on my ass"  "what if i sat on the toilet seat 15 seconds after the AIDS-infested whore got off it?" "we used condoms even when shaking hands but i'm still sure he gave me AIDS!" "i touched a doorknob with mucous on it -- should i start PEP ASAP?"  "my poz friend was sitting in a chair upwind so if a mosquito bit him first isn't it very likely i'll die before the end of this year?"







now taking wagers on total number of responses -- see dave letterman for more info
Your friends may say that Iím a stranger
My face theyíll never see no more
There is but one promise thatís given
Iíll sail on Godís golden shore

Offline GNYC09

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2009, 10:39:00 PM »
LOL..funny post.  And I agree. Andy/Ann/Rod must have the patience of a saint. 

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2009, 10:49:24 PM »
Heh... funny stuff trebmeister.  I don't necessarily have a problem with the nature of the questions (ignorance prevails out there, and some of these questions are asked by people in countries where HIV/AIDS education is limited or non-existent).  What I do find quite annoying is seeing the same person asking the same question about a massage, lapdance, pimple, or finger up the bum 78 additional times after they've been told that they were not at risk.  Some keep coming back months after they were told "no" (and even timed-out) with a dumb variation of the same scenario.  Many times they are quite demanding ("Andy answer RIGHT AWAY, NOW, YESTERDAY, pretty please"). Urgh.

A filter would be mighty nice, especially since most of us are not allowed to comment there, but I don't believe that it is feasible (software-wise at least).  For now we just need to ignore'em.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline the trebmeister

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2009, 11:05:50 PM »
Heh... What I do find quite annoying is seeing the same person asking the same question about a massage, lapdance, pimple, or finger up the bum 78 additional times after they've been told that they were not at risk. ... Urgh.


most definitely!  i can easily deal with 10 (or 100) different people asking the same question once or twice but the ones who continue to obsess and come up with inanely insane follow-up questions (often the same question couched in different words) would make me go nucular (in honor of our previous prez).  as a descendent of ebenezer scrooge my gut reaction is to dispose of "excess population" and were i allowed to post i'd advise suicide most of the time.  kill 2 turds with 1 stone, so to say.
Your friends may say that Iím a stranger
My face theyíll never see no more
There is but one promise thatís given
Iíll sail on Godís golden shore

Online BT65

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2009, 07:35:06 AM »
Yeah, I guess if it bothers you, then don't go there.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline weasel

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2009, 09:23:03 AM »
I do NOT go there !

 I have nothing to add to it !

   I understand where they are coming from !

   It IS part of this great web site , and IF  The  GUYS  want  to contribute to the

  post ,I say  good for them ! 

   I think the purpose of  it is  to help , inane comments are just that !
     But some people must   get threw  the   period !
  Chances are many of these people WILL  one day have  HIV !

  Sad BUT  true !
                           If you are testing the waters you are going to swim !


                            wishing everyone   well  ,

                                                                 Carl

   P.S.  Today is my  5 year date for starting on meds  :)
" Live and let Live "

Offline markaj

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2009, 09:46:38 AM »
I actually like reading the questions and answers there.  Rightly or wrongly I have a smile at the way these people obsess over symptoms following the most ridiculous scenarios.  I guess it's just like trying not rubberneck at a car crash.  I especially enjoy Rod's waspish manner. 
Infected Jan 08 / diagnosed Feb 08
Feb 08 - CD4 230 (9%) VL 3.5 million
Mar 08 - CD4 440 (6%) VL 660.000
Apr 08 - CD4 420 (11%) VL 3 million
Jun 08 - CD4 200 (7%) VL 3 million
Started Kaletra/Truvada Jul 08
Jul 08  - CD4 250 (14%) VL 23.893
Aug 08 - CD4 410 (15%)  VL 4.313
Switched to Sustiva/Truvada Aug 08
Switched to Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada Sep 08
Diagnosed with Hep C, HIV meds stopped for a bit
Nov 08 - CD4 414 (12%) VL 500.000+
Started Isentress/Truvada Nov 2008
Dec 08 - CD4 381 (17%) VL 1.116
Jan 09 - CD4 534 (20%) VL <50
Started Interferon/Ribavirin Jan 09
Feb 09 - CD4 407 (24%) VL <50
Mar 09 - CD4 360 (28%) VL <50
Apr 09 - CD4 279 (30%) VL <50
Jun 09 - CD4 298 (36%) VL <50
Aug 09 - CD4 303 (35%) VL <50

Offline WillyWump

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2009, 11:51:59 AM »
I read them just to see Rods comments :D
POZ since '08

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11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
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Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline mecch

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2009, 12:12:20 PM »
This is similar to the thread I started a few days ago:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=28844.msg354935#msg354935

(Subject titles.)

People who obsessively post being worried about infection for no recognised risk - well, a good deal of these people likely have psychological problems - obsessive compulsion, hypochondria, weird fascinations with deadly diseases, or HIV fetishes, or whatever.  I would be careful before laughing at them, as people.  Just laugh with yourself or with the community that knows how ridiculous the fears are... 

To the posters, the fear is not ridiculous - they go to the trouble of posting because they are troubled...  And bravo to the people who must respond to those same posts, over and over and over.


PS - I would be perfectly happy to be HIV- and worried about some risk, in exchange to being HIV+ right now.  Frankly.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Online Joe K

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2009, 01:20:15 PM »
I don't find any humor in the Am I Infected? forum, but what I do find is an abject sorrow that our prevention messages have been ignored for about 25 years now.  The fact that so many come here, with such non-risk questions, reflects the abject failure of HIV prevention in America.  There is another thread that discusses the use of Hitler or Stalin, in prevention messages and it all reflects a really sorry trend.  Demonizing HIV will never work, but rather than teaching people how they can express their sexuality in a safe manner, we tell them that sex is dirty.  Then, if you contract something from sex, well you know how that logic goes.

Personally, I am proud to know the moderators and Rod and I commend them on their patience and compassion, because it takes a very special person to do what they do.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2009, 02:01:16 PM »
Does it reflect on the "abject failure of HIV prevention" (mind you many of the AII posts are non-US based) or does it reflect more that there is a high degree of undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorders around the world?  I'd say it's a bit of both.

The OCD tendencies are quite transparent, but then I also see this in other sections of the forum to some degree.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Puckslinger

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2009, 02:04:53 PM »
I don't think it's a good idea to ridicule people who come to this website seeking answers, or needing to be reassured; even if they are obsessing about things that seem amusing to most of us.

Most of us live in places where there are resources available to people with HIV/AIDS. That is not the case with everyone who may have access to this website; but little more.

There are AIDS orphans in places like Namibia who are themselves infected, and who have to walk miles and miles to a clinic; just to get their meds. They are rejected by society, have little food, ect.

So you can imagine how terrified a person in a Third World setting like that might be about being infected.

I have thought, because of people using phrases like 'sex worker', and by the structure of their sentences, that some of the people who have been obsessing in the the Am I Infected threads might be posting from Third World locations. And I would hate for anyone in that situation to come away from this website feeling ridiculed or humiliated.

Just my humble opinion.  
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 02:06:34 PM by Puckslinger »

Offline megasept

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I get to read some "Am I...?"
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2009, 03:49:09 PM »
...Rightly or wrongly I have a smile at the way these people obsess over symptoms following the most ridiculous scenarios...I especially enjoy Rod's waspish manner.  

I only read the ones who go on and on and on and on...  ;)

Yep, Rod just shuts them down, pronto.
So they run to Andy; until he posts "As we've explained...Get on with your life."
Ann tells them the specific ways to limit sex risks and they respond with "Saturday while on vacation...I again ran my finger up the prostitute's..." sort of thing followed by a "Thanks, Ann".

It wonder if only providing this "help" privately would change the obsessional dialogue any. Dunno. 

8)  -megasept


Offline megasept

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2009, 04:06:59 PM »
I don't think it's a good idea to ridicule people...I have thought, because of people using phrases like 'sex worker', and by the structure of their sentences, that some of the people who have been obsessing in the the Am I Infected threads might be posting from Third World locations. And I would hate for anyone in that situation to come away from this website feeling ridiculed or humiliated.

Just my humble opinion.  

If I posted what I just did here in "Am I" I'd be deleted and warned. Our moderators don't ridicule folks.  There patience is nearly infinite.

Wherever someone is from, or living at present, each person is an individual, not a demographic average.

Speaking English less than perfectly does not make someone from a Third World country, and being from a Third World country does not mean there's no STD education/help. Take Uganda, or TAC So African volunteers (government is another matter). Many people from more privileged backgrounds come from countries with dire poverty. Some are our brothers and sister POZ posting here, and I am quite fond of many of them. They are a savvy bunch.

"Sex workers" is a great neutral term. I endorse anything that pops moralistic balloons and pecking orders. Educated people somewhere invented the term, just as likely from Mumbai as San Francisco or London.

Offline Puckslinger

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2009, 04:21:33 PM »
Hi megasept,

Re: 'Our moderators don't ridicule folks.'

I wasn't suggesting that the moderators do ridicule people.

But, the  post that started this thread--amusing tho it may be--was certainly ridicule; whether you want to call it ridicule...poking fun at...making fun of...whatever.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ridicule

rid⋅i⋅cule
  
Ėnoun

1.    speech or action intended to cause contemptuous laughter at a person or thing; derision.
Ėverb (used with object)

2.    to deride; make fun of.



Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2009, 04:31:53 PM »
The fact that so many come here, with such non-risk questions, reflects the abject failure of HIV prevention in America.  

Joe, many, if not most, of the people posting in the AAI forum (and its Spanish counterpart "Estoy Infectado?" which is just as sad) are not from the US/UK/Western Europe/Australia.  I don't believe that it is a reflection of failure on our goverments' (or activists) part as far as HIV prevention is concerned.  We are however failing in several other regards (I don't see/read much to stop the glamorisation of bareback sex that is promoted by certain gay websites out there; I don't think that young heterosexuals are being properly informed about the damages caused by this virus; I am appalled whenever I hear from people who believe that current meds are making this less of an issue than what it used to be, etc.), but those would be topics for other threads.

The fact that so many people in Asia, specific parts of Latin America (regional origin is easy to recognise based on the dialect used by those who post questions), and perhaps Eastern Europe --I don't think I have ever seen entries from anyone in Africa-- is a reflection not of ignorance, but of the cultural taboos that still exist regarding how this virus is contracted.  Unfortunately we probably will not see much of a change in the future.

And I agree with Philly, there is a lot of OC behavior out there.  That's why people keep coming back with a rehash of their non-risk situation, sometimes months after they had been told repeatedly that they were OK.  I saw someone in the "Estoy Infectado" forum who posted about twenty times, even though their initial statement advised that a condom was used.  Andy Velez has the patience of a saint indeed.  I guess Rapidrod needs to learn how to say a few mean statements in Spanish.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 04:44:45 PM by livebythemoon »
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline sdguyloveslife

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2009, 04:46:26 PM »
Most of us live in places where there are resources available to people with HIV/AIDS. That is not the case with everyone who may have access to this website; but little more.

There are AIDS orphans in places like Namibia who are themselves infected, and who have to walk miles and miles to a clinic; just to get their meds. They are rejected by society, have little food, ect.

So you can imagine how terrified a person in a Third World setting like that might be about being infected.

I have thought, because of people using phrases like 'sex worker', and by the structure of their sentences, that some of the people who have been obsessing in the the Am I Infected threads might be posting from Third World locations.



Hmmm, interesting opinions in many of the postings here... 

Are there really that many?  I've never thought that so many of the postings in there came from ex-US and "3rd world" countries - I thought they were coming mostly from westernized countries with easy internet access.  My guess would be that those orphaned children in Namibia walking miles and miles to a clinic are not posting on this site. 

Terrifying?  Imagine how terrifying it is to be at a friend's funeral (who just died of AIDS-related complications) and have people protesting with signs in front of the service and at the burial site, shouting epithets and holding signs that say "God Hates Fags" and "Fags = AIDS."  That's pretty terrifying to me and this is still happening today right here in our beloved USA. 

There's plenty of people who have little or no command of the English language living all over the USA, in spite of their schooling in American schools!  Not to mention that most of them got their education on sexuality, HIV and AIDS from their preacher on Sunday morning. 

Sex workers deserve our respect, just as doctors and judges and stay-at-home moms - and this is actually considered a "neutral" term for this industry.  We too have "sex workers" in just about every city and/or town in the USA you can think of. 

I've often wondered why it's so easy for us to take pity on those "Third World Countries" yet we ignore the fact that we are not so much further ahead than they are in various aspects of this disease. 

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

Online Joe K

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2009, 04:53:19 PM »
I am not suggesting that poor prevention messages are the only causes here, as I have been with these forums for years, but I still think it is a major obstacle to increasing some basic awareness.  The fact that you need the Internet to post here, rules out a large portion of the world and most of the posts, are from people, who should know better, if prevention messages were better structured.  I also agree that we as communities, i.e. HIV and gay could do a much better in combating HIV, but so much of the bareback sex occurs between people who know better, but just don't seem to care.

I guess it is the fact that so many just don't care about keeping themselves safe and it seems that no matter what we tell them, far too many still refuse to listen.

Offline the trebmeister

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2009, 06:08:16 PM »
...
But, the  post that started this thread--amusing tho it may be--was certainly ridicule; whether you want to call it ridicule...poking fun at...making fun of...whatever.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ridicule

rid⋅i⋅cule
  
Ėnoun

1.    speech or action intended to cause contemptuous laughter at a person or thing; derision.
Ėverb (used with object)

2.    to deride; make fun of.

thanks for the helpful definition.  your posts qualify as chastisement.  i have been duly chastened.

i wasn't ridiculing posters, simply observing the brave souls who endlessly answer the same questions are amazing. 
Your friends may say that Iím a stranger
My face theyíll never see no more
There is but one promise thatís given
Iíll sail on Godís golden shore

Online BT65

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2009, 06:36:50 PM »
Treb, I wouldn't say you have to explain yourself.   Some people on here just take things waaay to seriously.  Seriously.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline markaj

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2009, 07:25:19 PM »
Well said BT65. 
Infected Jan 08 / diagnosed Feb 08
Feb 08 - CD4 230 (9%) VL 3.5 million
Mar 08 - CD4 440 (6%) VL 660.000
Apr 08 - CD4 420 (11%) VL 3 million
Jun 08 - CD4 200 (7%) VL 3 million
Started Kaletra/Truvada Jul 08
Jul 08  - CD4 250 (14%) VL 23.893
Aug 08 - CD4 410 (15%)  VL 4.313
Switched to Sustiva/Truvada Aug 08
Switched to Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada Sep 08
Diagnosed with Hep C, HIV meds stopped for a bit
Nov 08 - CD4 414 (12%) VL 500.000+
Started Isentress/Truvada Nov 2008
Dec 08 - CD4 381 (17%) VL 1.116
Jan 09 - CD4 534 (20%) VL <50
Started Interferon/Ribavirin Jan 09
Feb 09 - CD4 407 (24%) VL <50
Mar 09 - CD4 360 (28%) VL <50
Apr 09 - CD4 279 (30%) VL <50
Jun 09 - CD4 298 (36%) VL <50
Aug 09 - CD4 303 (35%) VL <50

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #21 on: September 11, 2009, 07:31:38 PM »
"Am I on AidsMeds" is not half as bad as forums that don't have any educated HIV moderator to screen some threads. Example from a post today on another forum.


I ate breadticks with vaginal fluid
by #####, 4 hours ago
Hello I have a question to you about HIV. Today I got breadticks from the refrigerator that had vaginal fluid on them and heated them in microwave for 45 seconds. Then I ate them heated. Vaginal discharge fluid was from HIV positive- could the refrigerator have preserved the virus that the 45 second microwave couldn't kill the HIV virus? Or could I have gotten HIV from the situation I describe? Or should I just not worry?
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 07:46:18 PM by RapidRod »

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2009, 07:42:10 PM »
Treb, I wouldn't say you have to explain yourself.   Some people on here just take things waaay to seriously.  Seriously.

Like, Grey's Anatomy Seriously.  Thank you Betty for saying that.  I was going to write something to defend Treb, but I think you did him right.


I ate breadticks with vaginal fluid
by #####, 4 hours ago
Hello I have a question to you about HIV. Today I got breadsticks from the refrigerator that had vaginal fluid on them and heated them in microwave for 45 seconds. Then I ate them heated. Vaginal discharge fluid was from HIV positive- could the refrigerator have preserved the virus that the 45 second microwave couldn't kill the HIV virus? Or could I have gotten HIV from the situation I describe? Or should I just not worry?

Heh heh Rod... that is just pure madness, estŠs loco, tŪo  :).  I wonder how that wonder bread managed to get such an interesting spread on it. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2009, 07:45:28 PM »
I just wonder if the dough raised.  ;)

Online Joe K

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2009, 09:10:26 PM »
"Am I on AidsMeds" is not half as bad as forums that don't have any educated HIV moderator to screen some threads. Example from a post today on another forum.


I ate breadticks with vaginal fluid
by #####, 4 hours ago
Hello I have a question to you about HIV. Today I got breadticks from the refrigerator that had vaginal fluid on them and heated them in microwave for 45 seconds. Then I ate them heated. Vaginal discharge fluid was from HIV positive- could the refrigerator have preserved the virus that the 45 second microwave couldn't kill the HIV virus? Or could I have gotten HIV from the situation I describe? Or should I just not worry?

Damn you Rod, I was eating when I read this thread.  Not only do I wonder how he got vaginal fluid on his food, but I want to know what breadTICKS are?  Maybe a fancy name for crabs.

Offline Ann

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2009, 02:12:17 PM »
Well, sometimes I just have to laugh at the posters in Am I - it's either that or cry. Or throw my computer through the window. Or beat my head on the desk repeatedly. Bang, scream, rinse, repeat. Having access to the ban hammer helps give me patience too. At the moment I'm taking a much needed break from that forum - I have to do that now and then or I'd go stark-raving mad.


Joe, many, if not most, of the people posting in the AAI forum (and its Spanish counterpart "Estoy Infectado?" which is just as sad) are not from the US/UK/Western Europe/Australia.


Er, wrong. I'd say roughly half to two-thirds of the posters in there are posting from somewhere in the US, the UK or other "Western" nation. We don't get many from Australia - maybe because they seem to have more rounded sex education in their schools. We have a fair amount of people from India, Malaysia, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, the Philippines, Indonesia, and Vietnam. There's a smattering from Eastern Europe. We used to get more from South and Central America, but they mainly post in the Spanish Am I nowdays. We also get a few from Africa, mainly South Africa and Kenya. I know this because I can see where their IP addresses are from.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #26 on: September 12, 2009, 03:17:53 PM »
Er, wrong. I'd say roughly half to two-thirds of the posters in there are posting from somewhere in the US, the UK or other "Western" nation.

Well, you have just managed to depress me.  Then again I shouldn't be surprised; looks like a significant segment of the world out there doesn't care much until it happens to them.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #27 on: September 12, 2009, 04:40:43 PM »
"Am I on AidsMeds" is not half as bad as forums that don't have any educated HIV moderator to screen some threads. Example from a post today on another forum.


I ate breadticks with vaginal fluid
by #####, 4 hours ago
Hello I have a question to you about HIV. Today I got breadticks from the refrigerator that had vaginal fluid on them and heated them in microwave for 45 seconds. Then I ate them heated. Vaginal discharge fluid was from HIV positive- could the refrigerator have preserved the virus that the 45 second microwave couldn't kill the HIV virus? Or could I have gotten HIV from the situation I describe? Or should I just not worry?

  Talk about over coming your OCD's....  you have to be VERY hungry to wanna eat those breadsticks..  I would have raided the peanut butter jar with a spoon before I devoured those things.
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Offline the trebmeister

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #28 on: September 12, 2009, 06:05:53 PM »
where i live most restaurants offer a choice of plain, garlic or vaginal fluid breadsticks.  vaginal fluid breadticks are extra because it's so much work to harvest the little buggers THEN get them to sit still while being baked... at least organically grown ones, which is all i consume.  non-organic ticks usually taste of Adam's Flea Spray or Frontline topical and, as when eating any shellfish, can be quite disgustingly at an early stage of decomposition, which means they were dead before being dumped into the pot but you don't necessarily realize that until you've swallowed (or begun the process).   crawfish are best for being distinguishably icky on sight but rancid shrimp & oysters are almost always indistinguishable from the rest.
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Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #29 on: September 12, 2009, 06:20:10 PM »
Dear All,

I've been enjoying catching the comments here for the last few days. Here are a few thoughts as one who has responded to approximately 30,000 inquiries since AM was established.

The overwhelming majority of inquiries come from the Western world in general and the US in particular. They come from both men and women, though predominatly men. Both gay and straight. And sometimes very new to sexual activity. They sometimes come from someone who is gay and in relationship with someone who is HIV+ although rarely from someone straight in a sero-discordant relationship.

They often come from both gay and straight guys who have strayed from their primary relationship and with them guilt often plays a big part in their inability to accept they were not at risk for getting a blowjob or having had vaginal or anal with a condom.

There are also cultural differences in how people express themselves. I've noticed that some of the Spanish-language postings can be somewhat more formal and at the same time somewhat more effusive. They are no less genuine. Just a different style and I try to respond in kind because again I want the person reading it to get that I am really listening to him or her.

Ann and I have both noticed that not infrequently for some reason if a thread begins with telling us how terrific we are, that thread turns out to become an obsessive one. Not always but often enough for us to have both noticed it. Go figure.

You always need to keep in mind that sex education in America has always been pretty lame. In fact it's killingly insufficient. That became and even uglier truth during the recent maladministration years of he whose name I refuse to speak. Government monies were denied to any education program which advocated the use of or dispensed condoms. That is literally a murderous policy and even now its effects and demands have not by any means been reversed.

So we have grossly inadequate information being taught and the basic means of protection being denied by any government-related program. The power and determination of the reactionary right simply can't be overstated in tandem with the paucity of reality-based sex education causes new infections every day and even as I write these words.

Having seen how people end up becoming saints, I absolutely don't want to pay the price for canonization. My approach in responding is pretty simple. I listen and speak to the person just as if we are having a conversation. I want them to know that I am really listening to what they have said and my response is individual to them. That way they maybe more likely to really listen. To me giving that sense of the personal makes a huge difference to  someone at the receiving end of my response. Very often they are frightened, confused and uncertain  around HIV and other sexually related matters anxious and filled with shame. And they are afraid to talk about it with anyone else in their life.

We're not brought up to just speak of these matters as natural and a part of life. And to ask questions when we don't know something. I am constantly impressed by how much ignorance there is out there about HIV. But then I have always felt that most of the world just doesn't want to know there is an epidemic. I think fear and sexual shame play a large role in those feelings and play into the cruel and ignorant stigma with which we are all too familiar.

Every once in a while someone is unrelenting that I begin looking around for a flyswatter that might work on the web. But for the most part I am glad to be of service, to put someone at ease and in the process to educate about what the real risks are for HIV transmission.

Thanks for listening if you have stayed with me this far. LOL

Cheers to all.  

 
    
« Last Edit: September 12, 2009, 06:43:27 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #30 on: September 12, 2009, 06:52:10 PM »
Of course I have mixed feelings on this topic.  For many people, all these questions we see over and again are new to them.

On the other hand, I find myself losing patience with those who are almost trying to bait someone into confirming that, "yes, that toilet seat probably gave you HIV".  When they don't want to hear the first response they rephrase the question (sort of).

I guess we need to err on the side of caution since we all had those fears at one time or another.

Sammy

Offline David_CA

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Re: I'm SOOOOO happy I don't have to post in "Am I...?"
« Reply #31 on: September 12, 2009, 07:01:48 PM »
I often wish I could post questions on the AAI forum as one who wonders if I were negative.  That would be so much easier than posting in the 'Living With HIV' or the 'I Just Tested Poz' forums as a recently diagnosed individual.  Honestly, HIV awareness and education is pretty bad here in the US and I assume other countries.  Perhaps commercials that say that their product 'doesn't prevent STD's or HIV' are doing a service; that's about the only time HIV is mentioned on regular TV or advertising.  As to those members who answer questions and moderate the AAI forum, you guys do a great job.  I seriously doubt I could deal with that day after day.
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
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  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
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