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Author Topic: I know I have It, but...  (Read 1292 times)

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Offline phantomskyline

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I know I have It, but...
« on: September 12, 2009, 10:49:30 PM »
Hi Everybody,

I'm just another young guy who is from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada that thinks that he's infected with the virus.  I had sexual encounter with a person one year ago and have been obsessing with the disease ever since.  I never bother to get tested because I am just afraid and full of anxiety.  For all I know is that I am going to die soon that's all and I have attempted 3x suicide attempts.  Right now I am starving myself and hopefully I could just die already.  I don't think I am financially capable of helping myself.  I am still living with my parents and they are always against me and hated me.  They are trying to kick me out of the house, not knowing about my condition.  I know I have it because I already have the symptoms.

Moreover, I don't think I am covered in any medical plan so I couldn't afford any ARV treatments and I don't really want to be a burden to my parents.  I can't think straight and I wish I could get the help I needed like counseling and other therapy but my parents strongly denied it and told me to 'suck-it-up' and 'stop-faking-my-problems'.

Maybe I should start planing my funeral.  I am extremely agitated and depressed.

Thank you for your time to read my post,

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
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Re: I know I have It, but...
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2009, 11:53:46 PM »
Get over your drama and self pity and seek professional mental help.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 29,908
Re: I know I have It, but...
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2009, 08:26:20 AM »
Nick, if you are contemplating suicide then you should go to the nearest emergency room and tell them that.

There's no small irony that you're afraid of HIV and at the same time talking about killing yourself. I can tell you that on a site where so many people are facing the challenges every day of living with the virus, your attitude isn't going to fly very well here.

You refer to having had a sexual incident a year ago. You don't mention the details so we don't even know if it was actually a risky incident. And if it was, you can get tested anytime now and get a reliable result. Not so incidentally, neither the presence nor the absence of "symptoms" will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only a test can give you a reliable answer.   

You're not telling the whole story here.
Andy Velez


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