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Author Topic: Unprotected Positive Partner  (Read 3228 times)

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Offline Tad

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  • Posts: 8
Unprotected Positive Partner
« on: September 06, 2009, 12:42:24 PM »
Hi everyone. I have been stressing out lately and need real advice from people who really know. I had unprotected sex with a female who I found out later is +. I have tested at 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months, all negative via rapid tests.  I am confused because the 1st counselor I saw said to test out to 6 months for definitive result, now my last counselor said a year. WTF??? What is the truth?? Please help my worried state. Thank you. Also, I had swollen nodes in my neck and cold accompanied by a light rash on my upper torso, does that even matter at this point. And more importantly do I need to test to a year, or is that BS? Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2009, 12:56:10 PM »
Your 3 month test was conclusive..

Offline Tad

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  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2009, 01:07:49 PM »
Thanks Rapid Rod, I don't know why there is so much misinformation out there. So know matter my symptoms and the girl being confirmed 3 months is golden? thanks again

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2009, 02:05:25 PM »
Tad,

Many doctors are not up to date with matters concerning hiv. The window period for testing has been at three months for several years now.

You do not have hiv.

You need to learn from this experience and act as though anyone you have sex with is hiv positive until you know for certain otherwise. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Tad

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2009, 02:36:47 PM »
Thanks Ann. You are very informative. I have read your other posts and they are very helpful. Thank you for your time. It has eased my mind. If I continue to choose to have sex with this female with protection, do you believe we can engage in unprotected oral? I no it is stated that oral is no risk here. Just curious. I really like her, even though she did not inform me of her status. Thank you

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2009, 02:48:27 PM »
Tad,

The only thing you need to do is use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse. Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection and neither is going down on a woman. I speak from experience - I was in a relationship with a negative man for over eight years and he's still hiv negative. We only used condoms for intercourse. If she is on meds and has an undetectable viral load, that should put your mind even more at ease. Just keep using condoms for intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Tad

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2009, 02:58:26 PM »
Thanks ANN!!! you are great, farewell   :)

Offline Tad

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2009, 08:12:54 PM »
Just one last question. So there is no way I could possibly have HIV and have negative tests out to 6 months? Everywhere I look says 99.9 % conclusive. Why not 100%? Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2009, 08:14:41 PM »
No.. You don't fall within the.1% ..

Offline Tad

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2009, 08:29:05 PM »
Thanks Rapid. The .1% would be the Chemo, and Iv abusers etc. ?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2009, 09:46:49 AM »
No, the 1% is just because nothing is ever going to be 100% accurate. But we know from long experience that when you test negative at 3 months you can rely upon that result. Tests used now are very sensitive and accurate.
Andy Velez

Offline Tad

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2009, 04:41:45 PM »
Thanks Andy. If nothing is 100% accurate how can we determine that we will not infect anyone else, even after an allegedly conclusive 3 month test? I just ask, because I have two young children I do not want to infect. I could deal with the possibility of myself but not them. On a different note, I found this site Medhelp where they say the same thing as here, but someone just posted that they were infected by oral (but showed + by day 39). Could it be? Thanks again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2009, 04:56:49 PM »
It's time for you to accept your conclusive negative result and move on...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2009, 05:46:34 PM »
Tad, you can't infect anyone with something you don't have.

Your young kids? Are you planning to have unprotected vaginal or anal sex with either of them? I didn't think so. Because that is what you'd have to do IF you were  HIV+ and IF you were having sex with them.

From time to time we hear reports of someone claiming to have become infected through giving oral. For various reasons those claims never seem to hold up under careful examination of the facts. And as for any risk from receiving oral, there isn't any. Period.

Your concerns reek of guilt. You went straying like a lot us dawgs here. You can't undo that. You've reliably tested negative. Now you need to stop with all of this drama and do everyone a favor in your life by getting on with your life. Really.   
Andy Velez

Offline Tad

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2009, 01:39:40 PM »
Never told you thanks Andy. Tested again at 7 months, negative, shocker huh? Hope I can stop worrying and get on with life. Its hard when something has consumed you for the last 6 months, but thanks for your help it is much appreciated. Tad

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,598
Re: Unprotected Positive Partner
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2009, 01:42:27 PM »
Hopefully that test result will allow you to get past your concern and move on with your life. I suspect that guilt is really at the heart of your lingering doubts.

You're definitely HIV negative.  Let those fears and guilt go and enjoy your life.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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