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Author Topic: Should I frame this DOH letter?  (Read 2515 times)

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Offline positivmat

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  • Posts: 222
Should I frame this DOH letter?
« on: July 17, 2009, 10:35:18 PM »
So I am doing pretty good. I have gotten my third round of blood work and my tcells have gone up to 693 and viral load down to 189. And all the way up from 13% I am up to 27%.

All was well. I am adjusting and things are getting more even. But when I got home yesterday, there was a letter on my door from the county board of health saying that I had to see them in person because I had a "dangerous incurable disease."  I found this odd 5 1/2 months after I was diagnosed and have since freely given them my phone number. But procedure is procedure. I called him up and asked what they wanted and they said that it had to be done in person. I asked if this was to inform my partners and they said they had to see me. So I sped right up to the county building and met them for coffee. I just wanted to get this over with.

To my surprise, the social worker and his (yipes) trainee? were very supportive and offered their help before asking for my little black book. I explained that I had already informed everyone. So they backed off and we spent an hour talking about me. My question to them was why now and not 5 months ago?  Funding probably. But I just think if I am going to be this registered infection then get to me when the shit hit the fan instead of after I cleaned it off the wall.

Again, they were excellent and I really love to talk about this with people because it helps me. But I think they should stalk us sooner if they are going to do that.

Speaking of telling people, I told my sister this past weekend while she and my parents were visiting me with my her 3 year old son. It was really wonderful to tell someone in my family. She was very supportive and I appreciated it.

I think the perpetual bad feeling is starting to fade and I really feel like things are looking up again.
Matt

Offline webontheweb

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  • Posts: 110
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2009, 07:53:16 AM »
Nice post and interesting story- thanks for sharing.
My partner does not want to ell anyone in the family so it has prevented me from being able to reveal myself to anyone close.
Hard road to walk but I have to respect his wishes, too.
anyone else in this bind?

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2009, 08:52:40 AM »
Nice post and interesting story- thanks for sharing.
My partner does not want to ell anyone in the family so it has prevented me from being able to reveal myself to anyone close.
Hard road to walk but I have to respect his wishes, too.
anyone else in this bind?

A partner forcing stigmatization on the infected individual because of their own selfishness and paranoia I find to be about the height of cruelty frankly.  Just my opinion. 

(btw, this is what is called a thread hijack so you really should start your own thread on this topic and others can then comment -- apologies to Matt)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline positivmat

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  • Posts: 222
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2009, 11:10:37 AM »
Today is 6 months after I tested pos. I am coming home from a week away with my partner and I am starting to feel the ground underneath my feet. We started the vacation out sort of getting used to each other again. I brought condoms and we tried to get our mojo back. It was awkward at first but by the end of the week we made the connection again. We've been together for 13 years and it was tough getting through the virus part. The second part was my infidelity. I think we will be ok though. I am really working on myself and we are working together on how far apart we let ourselves get.

I feel exceptionally lucky and grateful for him, atripla and all the sacrifices that were made by long term survivors before me. The second half of 2009 is for living mindfully with all the good things that I have in my life. Thank you all on this forum for helping me through the first part of this virus. I hope that I can be there for people the way you guys have been for me. It has been extremely helpful to let out my feelings and to get your feedback so I could get to a place where I can see its not all lost for me.

Older and wiser and more positive,
Matt

Offline positivmat

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  • Posts: 222
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2009, 11:01:06 PM »
Sex is back!  I got my mojo back!  I can enjoy sex without thinking about being an infection all through it. I didn't think I could enjoy my body and another's but it was solidly good with (I will admit) a few mind interuptions of stray negative thoughts but they were strictly and quickly escorted out of my head.

  Negative talk has been the primary battle that I have fought in this half year with HIV. This forum, support groups, therapy and daily meditation have been the real means of fighting that very old enemy. 

6 1/2 months later and I feel better. I am practicing not googling "hiv" every day. Today's earlier lunchtime revelation was when I started to talk down to myself about getting infected, somewhere from the back of my head came a new voice that said "well you are human.". It was loud clear and convincing. It was really very compassionate. I felt this wave of self acceptance and "O.K.-ness". I went off to an outdoor summer concert and sat listening to the blues and thought that I would try some real satisfying nice sex without being all unhappy and it worked.

 Tonight I am just a guy with a virus and will move over from "just diagnosed." To "Living with HIV" with the focus on "living"

Offline SouthSam7

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  • Posts: 428
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2009, 11:23:43 PM »
I had a horrible experience from my department of health.  It was some fascist who judged me because I was gay and had (in my lifetime) more than one partner.  I low-balled the number and gave him made up names because he was already looking at me like I was a pedophile. 

That day was worse than finding out I had HIV.  From that point on, I tell others to lie and say they had a one-night-stand in another state and their phone number is disconnected.

No one should have to go through the degradation I had to that day.

Sam in Alabama

Offline positivmat

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  • Posts: 222
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2009, 11:36:33 PM »
Well I am from south alabama originally and went to military school in central alabama. I am really glad I didn't go through that there or at least in the alabama from 30 years ago! 

It seems to have lost some of its unique qualities when I have visited in the past few years.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2009, 05:45:12 PM »
I have heard of these stories in the past.  I have never heard anything from the Dept of Health.  I tested positive while in NYC.  Maybe they are just too busy? 

Offline positivmat

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  • Posts: 222
Re: Should I frame this DOH letter?
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2009, 05:58:28 PM »
It is the law in ny state that they "may" ask to notify your past partners. You can tell them to take off or you can lie. I told them the truth which was that I had notified everyone myself and didn't need them. I just thought that while I had been dealing with them over ADAP on the phone that their same office was stalking me and eing so wierd on the phone about talking about it. I guess procedures are procedures. It certainly took them a long time to get to me. 

 


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