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Author Topic: We're back, but things aren't well...  (Read 2838 times)

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Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,124
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
We're back, but things aren't well...
« on: August 11, 2009, 06:24:50 PM »
Hey All,

Made it back.  We had a great time, but had to cut it short. Ed received a call that his mother had fallen and broke her hip and pelvic bone. 

Long story short, approx, 8 weeks ago Ed had to get his mother into an assisted living facility. She is 84, and has Alzheimer's. She fell this past week, ( at the assisted living) And she was taken to the hospital where she had surgery. She has no idea that she even had surgery. She will go through about 20 days of rehab therapy,( which I don't think is going to happen), and then to long term care,  but things aren't looking good.

We just got back from the new facility that she is in. She is totally confused.  I've seen this happen so many times where I work at, that someone comes in with a broken hip, (especially at this age) and the next thing you know, they have pneumonia. I was trying to have conversation with her today, ...one minute she is up on the Jersey shore, it's 1947,  next minute she is agitated not knowing where she is. (wondering why the other woman sharing a room with her, is in her house)

 We're just trying to keep her as calm as we can. The doctor has ordered some additional medication, to help in achieving this. Yesterday, she was pretty good,  today just the opposite.

I am still on vacation  until this coming Sunday, so Ed and I will be spending a lot of time with her.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2009, 06:39:03 PM »
Hey Ray, I'm really sorry to hear about this.

It sounds similar to something my ex-bf's mother went through. It turned out she was having mini-strokes of a specific type that elderly women are prone to. They don't present like a typical stroke, with the one-sided paralysis, but rather with un-coordination (and resulting falls), confusion and memory short-circuiting. Long story short, after 18 months of me insisting that she be given a scan and them saying I wasn't family and therefore had no say, I finally got my bf to stand up to them and insist on a scan. The doc came back and said "she's been having mini-strokes and we think it's probably been happening for about a year and a half". Duh! I'd been trying to tell them that!

They put her on blood-thinners and she's been lucid ever since. Sadly, she lost the use of her legs during the 18 months without proper treatment. It really burns my ass because if they'd listened to me when I first brought up what I suspected was going on, she'd probably still be living in her own home to this day. She's in a care home because of her legs. And HATES it.

It's common that this is missed in elderly women. In the morning, I'll try to dig out the article that first alerted me to the potential cause of her problems.

You might want to bring this up with her doctor. If you/she can afford it, it wouldn't hurt to have her scanned.

Hang in there Ray, I know how terrible it is to have to watch someone you love go through something like this.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,912
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2009, 06:52:33 PM »
Ray, I'm so sorry to read this.  My mom had a stroke once, and couldn't remember much for awhile.  She did regain her memory, but she didn't have Alzheimer's either.

I'll be thinking about you all and hoping for the best.  Hang in there.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,613
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2009, 02:58:54 PM »
So sorry to hear about this Ray.   Alzheimer's is such a horrible thing...

My friend Kevin's (who died recently) sister called me this week and said their mother wasn't doing well; she has had Alz. for a long time, but had slipped this week into a 'worsened state'.  She can no longer feed herself, or even get up out of bed.

Her physical health is good.   What a tragedy....

My prayers go out to you, Ed and his Mom
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2009, 08:47:03 PM »
Ray --

I was so sorry to read about Ed's mother.  I hope that the new medicine will help calm her down.  I know how much Alz patients had change.

Hugs and lot's of luck!
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2009, 07:36:41 AM »
Ray,

I am sorry to hear about Ed's mother. I know what a strain it can be to have a loved one: not being themselves. Granny had Alzheimer's, but not the falling down issues.

JW had the falling issues, and broke his hip. It's so hard to keep someone, who is used to being acitve: still.

Katie went into a nursing home for three years after her back surgery: anyone in their right mind would hate it. It's good that she has you and Ed there to bring her some part of reality. It is confusing to 'come to' in a strange place.

Hoping for the best.

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,124
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2009, 09:20:21 PM »
Thanks everyone !,

The last couple days, she seems to have settled down a little, not so agitated.  Physical therapy is being done twice a day.  Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. We try to time our visits after therapy.  If we're there when they are going to take her to therapy she refuses.   The doctor had placed her on Lexapro.

 Ann, she was on blood thinners ( coumadin) for a while, but the doctor removed her from them, because of bleeding issues.  She does take a low dose aspirin a day.  I believe there is one other anti-anxiety medication that she is on, but can't think of it right now.

She also has osteoporosis, her heart has a tendency to go off rhythm.  She also takes medication for that.

The main thing is right now ( today )  she was calm, and comfortable, and,.. well somewhat content. She loves it when I bring her in snacks ! Loves her M&M's, and chocolate  muffins   :)

She has tried to climb out of bed twice already ( which is how I think she broke her hip in the first place.) They are going to have to put side rails to help prevent her from doing this, and she ain't going to like that one bit.
 Yesterday she said " I've known you Ray for about five years"  I said " Actually, it's almost thirty years. " oh my " she said.  Then we're pretty good friends. I said" yes we are, we're buddies"  she laughed !


Thanks again everyone----Ray

Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2009, 08:15:37 AM »
Hi Ray,

I'm glad to hear she's doing a bit better.

I've searched for that article but can't locate it. It was in a British Nusring Association magazine that I'd bought (because of the article) at the Liverpool Royal's bookshop when I was there for clinic one time. I can't find the magazine in the house and I can't get to it online because I don't have a subscription. As it was more of an opinion piece that cited studies than a study report itself, I can't find it anywhere else either.

Knowing me, it will turn up months down the line when I'm tidying up some cupborard. ::)

I hope she remains calm, comfortable and content.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2009, 11:54:53 AM »
Thinking of you guys.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2009, 01:59:27 PM »
It was so very painful seeing my Mom go thru this kind of dementia.  She turned from a very in control , smart person, to a silly old woman who "thought" she was living in various long past periods of time.
Once I called her and she said she was in a phone booth in the parking lot downtown Chapel Hill waiting for a bus to take her back to Carol Woods ( a continuing care community) where she lived.
I said..."but Mom I dialed your number there at Carol Woods."  She said "Well they must have forwarded the call."
That was one of the more humerous encounters.
My nephew arrived to find her out in the parking lot with two young volunteers from her church who were visiting her and she had convinced them she had to find her car, but she hadnt driven in years because she had gone blind from glaucoma and my Dad had died and the car was given to my brother.
There are hundreds more I could tell all of which are (were) painful to me.
It was a blessing when she died. Even though her passing was the most painful part of it.
Good luck you guys...
edited for spelling
« Last Edit: August 16, 2009, 12:20:34 PM by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2009, 04:18:25 PM »
Hi Ray-
I am so sorry to hear about Ed's mother. I will be thinking about you all.
Take care,
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: We're back, but things aren't well...
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2009, 12:41:43 AM »
Hey Ray,

I will be keeping you, Ed and Ed's mother in my thoughts and I will send positive, supportive energy to you and Ed.

What you are going through is tough. My heart goes out to you both.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


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