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Poll

What do I miss "most"?

Working hard/getting "ahead"
5 (50%)
Beer
0 (0%)
Jack Daniels (or ?)
0 (0%)
not having to worry about not finding a bathroom
0 (0%)
I miss __________
5 (50%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: August 22, 2006, 02:10:41 PM

Author Topic: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?  (Read 2157 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline clarke

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« on: August 12, 2006, 02:10:41 PM »
I miss my beer, Drambuie. 
Have diffculty with local Metro as bathrooms aren't always public (much less in D.C.)
not being able to work "full-time" and do what I'd like.

Offline blondbeauty

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,784
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2006, 02:21:18 PM »
I miss feeling immortal.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2006, 03:24:07 PM »
bb, that would have disapeared in time anyway... ;)

Offline Sdgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2006, 04:31:57 PM »
SEX!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,009
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2006, 04:39:13 PM »
I miss my old face and body.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2006, 08:04:45 PM »
I voted for working (did it since age 19 - now I'm on welfare/Medicaid)

Offline BB

  • Member
  • Posts: 168
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2006, 08:28:00 PM »
I miss my uncomplicated life of drinking, sex and health. Blast hiv!

BB
Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

Offline joyluckclub

  • Member
  • Posts: 136
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2006, 09:59:45 PM »
I miss.....

My naive thought that if you tried to be perfect, do everything right, treat everyone well, "really bad things would not happen to you"

I don't know where I got that idea from!

I've always had a problem equating self esteem with "works" (i.e. the best boy in the world syndrome......how people view me......Am I doing enough for "others".......good Christian boy).

Even before the diagnosis, I had a problem rehashing the "mistakes" I have made in life and beating myself up for making them.  I was making slow progress in stopping that kind of self destructive behavior.

Then comes "the gift".

I made a mistake.  At this point in time, I can't forgive myself.

Sorry to put a bummer on this thread................

I'm still trying to adjust.  My first visit to the HIV clinic in Dallas just kinda bummed me out.  My diagnosis is real.

Corwyn
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2006, 12:41:46 AM »

Hang in there Corwyn.  Bad things happen to good people all the time.  I had some similar feelings upon my diagnosis.  I would suggest just setting this feeling aside for awhile.  When you return to it in a month or two it won't be as difficult to digest.

I miss going out on a friday with friends drinking and dancing and letting all my worries go for a few hours.  I can deal alot better with HIV these days, but it's not really a worry I can let go of...just one I manage.

But yes, most of all I miss sex. Not that I was having tons of sex all the time, but I haven't gone this long without sex since that dry patch when I was 21.  Oh sex...where r u??? I miss u so.

brian


Offline clarke

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2006, 10:18:31 AM »
Hey Cor,

I've seen really "good" things happen to people who I felt just didn't plain deserve it.  And I've seen really s____y stuff happen to those I "know" didn't "deserve" them.

It's just the way things are.  One works with the cards dealt them the best they can I guess.

My Grandmother used to tell me "Persevere, hon, persevere".

My Mom just say "don't let the b__t__ds get you down!".

Offline swede_dish

  • Member
  • Posts: 682
  • I feel like an angel baby wrapped in a candy cloud
    • My blog
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2006, 11:14:40 AM »
I miss my dreams that weren't ridden with underlying symbols of sarrow like they are now.




^ wow that sounds sappy^


but in all reality...I just miss being carefree.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline clarke

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2006, 12:46:40 PM »
I really miss just plain juiicy, sweaty, wet-spots-all-over-the-bed SEX  :-*  ::)

Offline CaptCarl

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,114
  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: How are things now as opposed to when you were diagnosed?
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2006, 09:12:48 PM »
This is kind of a hard one. See, it's been so long since I was diagnosed (19 years) that I don't really remember what it was like to be HIV negative. But from what I can remember, there is a lot less fear on my part. There are better meds now as well. Back when I was first diagnosed, AZT was the only thing out there, and it was some pretty nasty shit. I mean, it was actually killing the people that it was supposed to save. The one thing that I think has not changed enough is the general ignorance and stigma of having this. I don't let it get me down though, and I'm not in the closet about either HIV or being gay. I figure that if people cannot handle it, that's their problem. I have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

 


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