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Author Topic: longest surviving poz couple?  (Read 6189 times)

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Offline Giblarry

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longest surviving poz couple?
« on: July 27, 2009, 06:34:25 PM »
Hello.  I'm new to this forum.  My Partner and I can trace both our infections back thirty years.  We've been Partners for 28.  We are both long married and long-term surviors.  Thus far, we've encountered no other HIV, original couple that has survived longer.  There are none that we know about.
My question;  Are there any other HIV, original couples who can top our status? 
If there are, we surely would like to hear about them.  We'd celebrate our record being broken.
I look forward to adding in this forum in the future. 
Best to all. 

Offline BT65

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2009, 06:38:09 PM »
Gib, I'm not "coupled," just wanted to welcome you to the forums. :)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2009, 09:11:40 AM »
Thanks BT.  I'm looking forward to some constructive give and take. 

Online leatherman

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2009, 10:58:32 AM »
welcome  ;D and congrats on holding things together so long!

like BT, unfortunately that's all I can add. My first long term (10yrs) partner passed away 1.5 yrs after we found out we were poz back in 1992. My second long term (8yrs) partner passed away last May, 1.5 months after finding out he was poz.

Best wishes to the BOTH of you and hope to hear more from y'all in the forums.  ;D
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2009, 11:51:08 AM »
Welcome to the board, Giblarry.  As far as your original question, I do distinctly recall an individual that made the similar claim of infection date, perhaps even a year or two more than you and your partner and he knew this from some stored tissue from surgery or something that was later tested for HIV, as obviously this put him infected before the more widely known date of 1981 when that "Morbidity" article first appeared out of L.A.  However I don't recall his screen name, nor is he a regularly appearing participant here, and I don't recall whether or not he had a partner.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2009, 12:16:34 PM »
What a very nice and thoughtful reply, Leatherman.  You hit the nail on the head.  There are many like you who have lost one or two, even three, partners, but we have both survived intact, though a little beat up.  Hey, and we're a bit famous for it.  If it doesn't violate the parameters of this forum, I can link to our LA Times article and our interview on NPR.  We are soon to be featured on Logo-cbs news, and have done lots of media work here in our own area.  Most of it to spread the word and promote the Desert AIDS Project.
Another sidebar, a book I co-wrote (pro-bono, only my co-author earns money on it.  Those who are constrained by medical coverages will understand) was released earlier this month.  It's a true story and deeply concerned with HIV/AIDS, placing it in a "family" context while allowing it to speak history as it unfolds.  Most of our reviews, so far, have been in the "I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried" vein, but it's no Long Time Companion.  I wouldn't feel comfortable promoting my own creative work here, but one day, if anyone is interested, you'll discover it.  You'll be touched and delighted. 
Miss Philica.  You also bring up an important point.  Yes, there are individuals who can claim a longer term of survival, but no original couples so far.  We don't rely on tissue or other medical markers from that time.  We met in 1981, having each separated from our first partners within the year that had passed.  Dennis' ex died of AIDS in late 1989, my first died in early 1992.  Given the ten year or so incubation period, that pushes each of our infections back to over thirty years.  We began to show small symptons that weren't clearly understood in 1983, and in 1987 Dennis suffered a serious OI.  But we didn't test and confirm until 1988, because there were  no treatments, no optimisitc prognoses, and no point.  We finally went on meds, AZT, in 1989, and we believe that opened about a five year bridge that carried us over until the time better anti-retrovirals began to appear.  I was, btw, one of only 1100 people in the US to qualify for a CT of Crixivan, and one of only two here in our valley.  The other guy didn't make it.  I nearly didn't, either.   
 

Offline weasel

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2009, 12:38:17 PM »
Hey Gib ,
             Nice to meet you !

              I can Trace my HIV back to 1980 !

       My partner ( HIV NEG ) and I have been together    28  years now !

       WE   MARRIED   July 11, 2009 .  It was a fabulous time !

      I wish you guys many more wondeful years , always nice to see a happy post  :)

                                                                          Carl

    p.s. hope to here more ...................................
" Live and let Live "

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2009, 01:14:48 PM »
Hey Weez,

Nice to meet you as well and congrats on your longevity.  You also bring up another important aspect of my original post.  We do know many who've survived as long, or longer, as we, and even been in a union longer.  They are, however, like your marriage, one HIV the other not.  It's curious, because there seems to be some dynamic in a stable, mutally supportive, and loving union that assists us in continuing to live.  That's at the heart of what we're trying to learn.

We wish you and your husband the very best, and many more long years together.  Dennis and I opted not to take advantage of the short window California offered for same sex marriage.  We simply wouldn't do it until it's available to all.  Having said that, we completely understand those who opted to take that advantage.  Believe me, we were sorely tempted.  We applaud their pioneering spirits, which reminds us of us in a younger day, but it is largely their battle, and it's quite appropriate that they lead. 

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2009, 01:22:55 PM »

If it doesn't violate the parameters of this forum, I can link to our LA Times article and our interview on NPR.   
 

Hi Gib, welcome to the forums.

Feel free to link to your interviews. We've had several members link to their stories in the media, me included. :) I'm looking forward to reading about you!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2009, 01:31:26 PM »
Thanks Ann, and here we go;

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/women/la-me-aginghiv5feb05,0,2081410.story

http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_528_Aging_With_HIV.mp3/view
- this one is a "listen to".  Simply scroll down until you see "listen to" and start.  It's not terribly long, about 22 minutes I think, but you do get to hear our story in our own voices.  It's worth the time.

If you want to look at a preview of my book;  http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/daddy-can-i-borrow-your-purse/7376400.  You can read the first chapter and get a feel for what it's about.  That's what I'm pushing, its message.  Sales are my co-authors melieu.

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2009, 06:57:55 PM »
Hello Gib,

Welcome, and thanks for posting the links !! The first link you posted, I remember reading, some time ago, in fact, I may have posted that LA times article here on this site !!
 I also think our local paper in St. Petersburg, Fl picked up on it, but I can't verify that. Congratulations to both of you !

My partner and I, have been together for 29 years. We just celebrated that anniversary on the 26th of July, this past Sunday.

Of those 29 years together, 24 of them are with myself being hiv positive.  My partner is negative ! It has certainly been a journey.  Communication is the key !


Good to hear from ya, wishing both of you many more years together !


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2009, 07:35:51 PM »
Wonderful Ray.  Nice of you to hail me.  I hadn't known about St. Pete's paper.  We once lived in Old North East.  I did know we made the Albuquerque newspaper, and probably a lot of other associates of the LA Times. 

We loved St. Pete, but alas, we're California boys and couldn't quite make the fit.  Then too, that was 15 years ago and St. Pete is a different sort of place than it was then.  Denny's family, what little is left of it, still lives in Indian Rocks Beach.

Best to you and your partner.  29 years.  That's nothing to sneeze at!  Past the 25 mark is always super impressive.  I think love must have something to do with it.   

Larry

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2009, 07:40:49 PM »
 Denny's family, what little is left of it, still lives in Indian Rocks Beach.


Larry


Indian Rocks Beach, Is one of our favorite places to go to !! They reported a few waterspouts in that area the other day. I've seen at least three waterspouts, in the past 30 years down here !!

View the slideshow !

http://www.baynews9.com/content/36/2009/7/28/501167.html


Ray 8)
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline dingowarrior

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2009, 09:44:10 PM »
Great to here such awesome stories...I hope this isnt too much off the topic, but I gotta know,whats the secret to staying alive and I like to assume healthy for you folks?

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2009, 06:19:24 AM »
Dingo,

I'm sorry, but as someone fairly recently diagnosed, you shouldn't be posting questions in the LTS forum. This is their place where they can discuss things without having to answer questions like yours. Please don't think I mean this in a nasty way, I don't. It's just that this is considered to be a "safe" place for LTS people where they can discuss issues that are unique to them.

If you wish, you could perhaps send Larry a PM - and it will be his choice whether or not he answers you. Or perhaps you could wait until he posts in the Living forum and ask him there.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2009, 08:42:49 AM »
I will answer in the Living forum. 

Thanks Ann.  After coming off the public forums, this site is a breath of fresh air.  Having a safe and well monitored venue means everything.

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2009, 09:00:49 AM »
You're welcome, Larry. When we first created this section, there was a lot of controversy as to who could post here. Although the LTS forum's Welcome thread states "We are not excluding anyone from participating here, but we do ask that you be mindful of the special needs for which this particular Forum has been established", we do try to keep non-LTS people from using this forum to ask questions like the one above. Sometimes non-LTS people post here just to offer a bit of support or well-wishes and that is a bit more tolerated, depending on the context.

I don't post in here very often myself and when I do, it's mainly in my admin/mod capacity. I seroconverted in 1997 but wasn't diagnosed until 2001, so I don't feel I qualify as an LTS - and never really will, as I didn't go through what you guys have. (although I do know the history - I've made it my business to learn - and I have nothing but respect for LTS) Also, I know quite a few LTS personally, and I totally empathise with the need for a safe haven for you all. Sometimes I wish we had a safe haven for us in-betweeners! ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you found us and I hope you continue to feel comfortable and at home here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline dingowarrior

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2009, 09:09:50 AM »
You're welcome, Larry. When we first created this section, there was a lot of controversy as to who could post here. Although the LTS forum's Welcome thread states "We are not excluding anyone from participating here, but we do ask that you be mindful of the special needs for which this particular Forum has been established", we do try to keep non-LTS people from using this forum to ask questions like the one above. Sometimes non-LTS people post here just to offer a bit of support or well-wishes and that is a bit more tolerated, depending on the context.

I don't post in here very often myself and when I do, it's mainly in my admin/mod capacity. I seroconverted in 1997 but wasn't diagnosed until 2001, so I don't feel I qualify as an LTS - and never really will, as I didn't go through what you guys have. (although I do know the history - I've made it my business to learn - and I have nothing but respect for LTS) Also, I know quite a few LTS personally, and I totally empathise with the need for a safe haven for you all. Sometimes I wish we had a safe haven for us in-betweeners! ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you found us and I hope you continue to feel comfortable and at home here.

Ann


Will do Ann....I apoligize,and take note.

Offline dingowarrior

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2009, 09:12:10 AM »
You're welcome, Larry. When we first created this section, there was a lot of controversy as to who could post here. Although the LTS forum's Welcome thread states "We are not excluding anyone from participating here, but we do ask that you be mindful of the special needs for which this particular Forum has been established", we do try to keep non-LTS people from using this forum to ask questions like the one above. Sometimes non-LTS people post here just to offer a bit of support or well-wishes and that is a bit more tolerated, depending on the context.

I don't post in here very often myself and when I do, it's mainly in my admin/mod capacity. I seroconverted in 1997 but wasn't diagnosed until 2001, so I don't feel I qualify as an LTS - and never really will, as I didn't go through what you guys have. (although I do know the history - I've made it my business to learn - and I have nothing but respect for LTS) Also, I know quite a few LTS personally, and I totally empathise with the need for a safe haven for you all. Sometimes I wish we had a safe haven for us in-betweeners! ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you found us and I hope you continue to feel comfortable and at home here.

Ann


Will do Ann...sorry bout that. :)

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2009, 01:43:21 PM »
Ann,

I like you. 

And, do I detect a bit of British or Canadian? 

Gib

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2009, 01:55:38 PM »
I was born in Indiana, moved to the Cleveland area (Ohio) when I was a toddler, moved to NYC in my early twenties, married a Brit and moved to the Isle of Man in '91. So, I've been over here for eighteen years now and I guess I speak and think like a Brit now. The Isle of Man (aka The Rock) is a small island in the middle of the Irish Sea. I go to Liverpool for my hiv-related health-care.

Hope you still like me after I tell you off for some silly thing one day. ;D (that's a joke, btw!)

Now, I better scoot before Betty wacks me on the arse with her broom. ;D ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2009, 02:28:50 PM »
BTW folks.  I do like Gib.  It's an old and dearly remembered nickname enjoyed by the male members of my vast family for generations.  I wear it with honor, and I will not sign as Larry again. 

But, please, don't call me Hoot.  You younger folks probably won't understand that.

Dennis, my Partner, is joining the forums shortly.  I hope he speaks here.  He's a gifted and quite special man.  He'll probably sign in as AceGalaxy, but you can call him Buzz. 

Best.
Gib

Offline aztecan

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #22 on: July 30, 2009, 01:06:49 AM »
Hey Gib,

My first doc believed I was infected in the spring of 1980. I officially tested positive in 1985.

I am single. My special man died many years ago, long before the advent of the triple drug cocktails.

I am glad you have joined us and look forward to meeting Buzz too! 

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline BT65

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #23 on: July 30, 2009, 07:22:13 AM »
I better scoot before Betty wacks me on the arse with her broom. ;D ;)
Ann

Notice how Ann always tantalizes me when I'm not around.  That's alright, I'll get her one day. ;D
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2009, 08:17:20 AM »
Notice how Ann always tantalizes me when I'm not around.  That's alright, I'll get her one day. ;D

hehehehe.... not my fault you were off getting your bits looked at! I promise the next time I tantalise you, I'll make sure you're right here!  :)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2009, 08:46:17 AM »
Larry,


Gib, I'll make sure I never use the L-word again when addressing you!  :-*

I've finally had the chance to read your article - you and Dennis Buzz look so sweet together! I have to admit I started tearing up, not because what I read made me sad, but because I'm a sucker for a love story.

I see you're co-infected - I was too. I had genotype 3a and was one of the lucky ones to get the cure after a year of hell on interferon/ribavirin. I was also lucky enough to do the treatment before being on ART. It really sucks that the treatment didn't work for you. I hope one of the new meds in the pipeline may do the trick for you.

We have another member here who is around your age and I think he's probably been poz about as long as you. He's also in a very LTR, but his partner isn't poz. His screen-name is Moffie65 and I hope he'll drop by to say hello. He's also been to hell and back and survived - and thrived - due to his indomitable spirit and his partner's love. Your story reminds me of his.

Ah well, here's to the future. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Inspirational (and romantic!) stuff.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Giblarry

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Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2009, 09:44:38 AM »
Mark.  Nice to meet you and thanks for tapping my shoulder.  I'm sorry about your man.  I can't even imagine, and I dread the day when I might find myself in the same category.  I've no idea what I would do, but I try not to dwell on that and hope The Good Graces will be kind in that day to us both.

Ann, congrats on being able to evict your other unwelcome guest.  I am geno 1a, the toughest to ko.  I did the combo first time around with once a week injections.  The 2nd time was a bit more challenging with Infergin injections every day.  Ribavirin, of course, all around. I did 7 mos of that when my numbers actually went up.  It wasn't working except to make me terribly anemic.

In the midst, Buzz suffered a heart attack, AIDS related CAD, and had to be rushed in for quintuple bypass.  Geez, here I was barely able to care for myself, now scared s**tless for my wonderful man who had been caring for me, and there was, at first, only me to take care of him.  He has only two members of his family left and they are elderly.  My family is vast, as I've said, but neither family has or has had a clue.  It isn't that either family is unsupportive, heck his brother is gay too, it's just they don't get it and, so, they put it away.  In some ways that's nearly as bad as being rejected.  Fortunately, the Desert AIDS Project came to the rescue and relieved us of many stressful burdens.  I was completely worn out and nose dived, in bed, tears flowing - all that melt down stuff for almost 2 weeks.  Today, budget cuts in CA would make it almost impossible to get that sort of help.

But, our love continues unabated and unbent.  And, thanks Ann, for empathizing our "romance".  Yes, we enjoy one of life's great love blessings, but instead of being full of it over it, we are humbled by it.  People can see it and feel it, and that's more than enough.  For us to crow about it would only melt the icing on the cake. 

Much love, and now you've brought a tear to my eye.
Gib

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2009, 04:09:38 AM »
Gib,

I just wanted to take a moment to welcome you to the forums or should I say add my name to the list of those who already have done so.  I haven't had a chance to read/listen to the links but from reviews you are getting here it is something I will be doing shortly.  I look forward to seeing Buzz post here as well.  Congratulations to you both!

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline Giblarry

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
  • Desert AIDS Project - Ribbon Man - 2009 Walk logo
Re: longest surviving poz couple?
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2009, 09:09:06 AM »
Gib,

I just wanted to take a moment to welcome you to the forums or should I say add my name to the list of those who already have done so.  I haven't had a chance to read/listen to the links but from reviews you are getting here it is something I will be doing shortly.  I look forward to seeing Buzz post here as well.  Congratulations to you both!

AA

Thanks Andy.  Good to meet you.

Buzz is on.  He's probably watching and reading.  It takes him a while to join a conversation.  He'll be along soon. 

Very best,
Gib

 


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