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Author Topic: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask  (Read 1632 times)

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Offline nervous32

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This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« on: July 25, 2009, 10:13:12 AM »
I had sex with a stripper last night with a condom.  The sex only lasted about 5 minutes.  Unfortunately, after I came, I pulled out and determined that the condom was broken.  We were both in shock.  We talked and both stated that we were "clean".  I tested negative for HIV about 2 years ago and since then have not had unprotected sex with anyone but my wife.  I am very freaked out.  I know nothing about the stripper, other than she was just as concerned about the breakage as me and that she stated that she was clean.  Also worth noting is the fact that I am uncircumcised.  How concerning was my possible exposure?  Does it warrant testing?  If so, how long do i have to wait?  Is 4 weeks sufficient for the orasure? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2009, 11:59:06 AM »
Yes it warrants testing not only for HIV but for other stds. 3 months post exposure will be when you can obtain your conclusive test result.

Offline nervous32

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2009, 01:35:26 AM »
What do I do until then?  I am assume that my odds are pretty good?  This is very nerve racking. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2009, 04:46:39 AM »
What do I do until then?  I am assume that my odds are pretty good?  This is very nerve racking. 
Whatever you did before your exposure, but with penetrative anal and vaginal sex USE A CONDOM correctly and consistently.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2009, 08:48:59 AM »
You had single, relatively brief and partially unprotected incident. Yes, you do have to get tested. But you were protected until the condom broke.

HIV is a fragile virus and not easily transmitted. It is significantly more difficult to accomplish from female to male. Taking all of the facts into consideration the odds are very much in your favor that you will test negative.

I know that waiting 13 weeks can feel like a very long time to get tested. You can do an initial test at 6 weeks past the incident. At that point all but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so. (The average time to seroconversion is 22 days). You would still need to re-test at 13 weeks, although a negative at 6 weeks is very, very unlikely to change to positive at 13 weeks.

I expect you will come out of this ok.

And for future reference, using the term "clean" to refer to HIV status is considered to be offensive when speaking of the virus.  People aren't clean or dirty with regard to HIV. They're just either positive or negative.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline nervous32

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2009, 07:50:33 PM »
First off thank you for your reassuring responsel.  I also apologize for my insensitivity in regards to my previous comment. 

I will get tested for all STD's including HIV.  How soon can I get tested for other STD's?

In the meantime, I want to be realistic and possible sleep at night.  I live in MA.  I saw statistics that claim that the HIV rate in my state is 9.4 out of 10,000.  Since she is a sex worker, guess the odds would be higher, maybe 1%?  Then the likelihood of me acquiring HIV from one vaginal intercourse event is 1 out of 1000 or 2000?  Isn't it also lower for the insertive partner?  So the chances of me catching HIV is 1 out of 10,000 maybe?

Not that it makes it right or puts me in the clear, but this was the only time that I have had unprotected sex (because the condom broke) with a women other than my wife in the past 10 years.  I just hope it doesnt change my life forever.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2009, 07:55:50 PM »
Statistics will not tell you anything about your exposure. Only a test at the proper time will give you your conclusive results.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2009, 08:19:09 PM »
I agree with Rod that getting hooked on statistics really doesn't give you the answer you want and need. Even though I surely do understand you wanting the comfort of some happy low number of likely risk.

Also, it is NOT true that your risk was higher with a professional than it would have been with a civilian. Sure, a professional is having sex with more partners. But something that is not understood is that sex workers want to stay healthy too, which is why they are often better about using condoms than their customers would be on their own. The very fact that a condom was used during this incident, whether it was yours or she provided it, is an indication to me of her being responsbile about protecting her health and by implication yours as well. Good sign to me. 

What I can also say with some confidence is the odds are way in your favor that you will test negative. At the end of the day I do expect you to come out of this ok.

I know that doesn't give you the answer you want, but I say it out of many years of experience with exactly the experience you have described.

Cheers.  
« Last Edit: July 26, 2009, 08:22:23 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline nervous32

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2009, 10:09:50 AM »
Hi Ann,

You made the following post a while ago which makes me feel a little bit better about my situation:

"I've yet to see the insertive partner (that's you) end up positive following a condom break and I do not expect you to be the first."

So I guess you would consider my odds pretty good as well?

Sorry, I just can't let things go.  The waiting is killing me.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2009, 11:05:37 AM »
Nervous,

I fully expect you to test negative following this brief, one-time, broken condom experience. Please read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nervous32

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Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2009, 11:52:53 AM »
I let my partner apply the condom this time around.  It appeared that she did everything right, but I probably wasn't as focused about it as I should have been.  I will apply the condoms myself from now on to reduce the opportunity of failure.

How many situations like this have you heard about over the years?  I know that i shouldn't get hung up on statistics, but I am finding myself become more and more OCD about this.  it probably wouldn't be as bad if I didnt have a wife and child to worry about.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2009, 12:44:48 PM »
Nervous,

I've lost count of the times we've had a poster in the same position as you and I've yet to see a single insertive partner end up positive following a condom break. I've been reading and posting in the Am I Infected forum for eight years.

To put it in some perspective for you, I was with a negative partner for a year and a half before we found out I was positive. We didn't use condoms during that time - although we did after my diagnosis. He remained hiv negative and he's hiv negative to this day. (he's also uncut) Hiv really is difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. This doesn't mean you should tempt fate by going condomless with people of unknown hiv status, but it DOES mean you shouldn't sweat this one time condom break.

I suggest you stay off hiv websites and get busy with the normal things in your life while you wait to test. All you're doing is feeding your worst fears and driving yourself crazy.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nervous32

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  • Posts: 6
Re: This is somewhat redundant, but I have to ask
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2009, 02:12:59 PM »
Thanks for putting things in perspective.  I'm gonna take you advice and try to stay off of the hiv websites. 

 


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