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Author Topic: Was this an accident?  (Read 2315 times)

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Offline bear60

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Was this an accident?
« on: July 18, 2009, 12:17:24 PM »
The obituary for friend Michael, who died on June 24th 2009, just came out yesterday in the Philadelphia Gay News.  No mention at all of HIV...zero, nada. He died of "mestatic prostate cancer" according to the obit.  He had been HIV poz for a very long time.
I just hate when this happens.  Its like a huge part of his struggle to live was left out.

Modified to correct the date of his death.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2009, 03:53:18 PM by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2009, 12:39:08 PM »
Dunno.  I always figure that family gives out he information.  One could always make the argument that he would have gotten this type of cancer regardless of his HIV history, but I agree that if it was me I'd want it mentioned, and I think my family would have it placed in the obit as well.  But yes, there are also studies that show prostate cancer more common in older HIV-positive men with a long duration of infection, however there are also studies that say that it isn't more common.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2009, 12:42:23 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline aztecan

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2009, 01:53:50 PM »
Hey Joel,

Having been in that line of work in a previous incarnation, I have typed many obits. The family/partner usually provide the information to the funeral home, which then sends it to the papers.

Sometimes family members bring one in to the paper.

Regardless of how the information got there, an obit is basically a paid advertisement. The reporter doesn't double check the information and doesn't add things to it, even though he may know the person also had HIV, etc.

So, I would look to whomever provided the information to the newspaper.

I agree with you though, its like his long struggle evaporated.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Ann

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2009, 02:15:39 PM »
Hi Joel, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's death. Like the others, I wouldn't want my obit to omit the fact that I was poz.

I've just added Michael's In Memoriam thread to the IM index, and I've noticed that in this thread you say the date was April 24th, but in the IM thread, it's listed as June 24th. If the date in IM is a typo, you might want to edit it before the 48 hour editing limit is over.

With condolences,
Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2009, 03:04:59 PM »
Joel,

I'm sorry to hear about Michaels passing.

I just wanted to add that in some cases it is the funeral home that places a notice based on what the family has told them.  Many times the cause of death isn't listed at all.  It's a shame that even in death there is still such stigma.

Hugs,
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline bear60

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2009, 03:58:12 PM »
Thanks Ann
No,  the date of his death was June 24th.
I probably typed in "April" because my worst month for deaths is April.
Thanks for the heads up.

Hugs
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline BT65

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Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2009, 06:04:18 PM »
Joel, I'm so sorry about Michael's death.  You know, only a couple of times with all my friends who have died, have I ever read the mention of "HIV/Aids."  Too bad.  I want it in my obit. 

Anyway, I'm sorry about this.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Was this an accident?
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2009, 08:08:40 PM »
Hey Joel, you know, the reason you accidently typed "April" is absolutely heartbreaking. Damn. I hate this fucking virus and what it does to our hearts/minds/souls.

Big heart-felt hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline bear60

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Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

 


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