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Author Topic: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"  (Read 5760 times)

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Offline fingerscrossed09

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..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« on: July 14, 2009, 11:03:31 PM »
Oh boy.  Where do I start?  I had sex back in March with what I think was a CSW.  She didn't charge me but I found out later from some friends that she was.  I was sober and we came by to my place in San Jose, Costa Rica.  I didn't have any condoms so she said "no way" which made me very happy so we went to the store and got some.  She gave me a blow job with a condom and then I changed it and we had sex after putting KY jelly on it.  I kept checking it to make sure it was ok but somehow, someway the tip broke ONLY and my penis was exposed from what i am guessing could be up to 4 or 5 minutes.  Of course I freaked out and asked her if she had HIV or any other std's but she of course said no.
 
I immediately got on the internet and read every post about broken condoms and sex without a condom.  To my relief I felt a little better when I read several times Ann say "i have never seen an insertive partner get hiv from a broken condom and I don't expect you to be the first."  Then I read where she said you don't need PEP for a broken condom "no way no how".  So I had to fly back to the states the next day and did my best not to think of it anymore.  My biggest regret is not taking PEP just in case...I know it doesn't fall into the guidelines so I have read but right now I don't really care about the guidelines thinking that I am going to the first one that Ann has heard of getting HIV from a condom break...I really hope i keep her streak intact.  I keep hearing in my head her saying "sex only lasts for minutes but HIV last forever...or something like that".  And then when Matt.the.Damned said about taking PEP from a similar situation "You do have to be tested for HIV but I really think you will test negative. I know this is confusing, but trust me here.Stop taking the pills"(link referenced below).  This assurance made me feel better about not taking PEP at the time but damn do I regret it now.  Not that it would be anyone's fault but my own but I really do hope the advice was on the money.

Why do I think I have HIV?  Its b/c about 2 weeks later I got some small bumps on my penis which I dismissed b/c they went away quickly after I put some hydorcortizone 1% on them.  Besides that I had no other symptoms which I know doesn't matter either way but one does feel better not getting them none the less.  Then after that I got a clear discharge from my penis..the weird part is that it wasn't all the time it was ONLY when I got aroused....I still have this to this day and can't find one STD that matches this...but then again i am not a doctor.  I took a single dose of azithromycin and a 10 day does of doxycline just in case but my clear penile discharge still remains when aroused only.  So then it feels like I have had this mild case of jock itch since the 2nd or 3rd week which i dismissed as well since it was hit or miss and never really bad.  So i got back online and did some research and everything tells me I got genital herpes...and again i know i am not a doctor.  So I know Andy doesn't like playing the odds game but I know this increases my chances of getting HIV from this one time encounter of the broken condom...besides that event I have always used condoms..always!

I am so scared and depressed right now and my mind is racing to everything bad of course.  I find great solice in your site and advice but still I am going crazy.  I am still in CR but am going back to New York in August for my bday and will get fully tested then for everything....Happy Birthday Me..lol!  And in my crazy state of mind I have already accepted I have HIV and will start meds ASAP.....and just hope the disease has not progressed too much.  I of course am feeling sorry for myself knowing if this does become a reality how my life will change in a way that I am not happy with....but i know it is what it is and I will have to deal with it if it occurs...which of course in my mind has already happened.  I am now of course avid stalker of the Research News and hope everyday that there will be this miracle news on there in case I really do have HIV....but wow have I learned a lot from this page and all the great posts.  Here are some but not all the references I am referring to from my earlier paragraphs:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=26469.0, http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=23004.0, http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=27631.0, http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=26555.0, http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=18747.0,

I guess I really don't know why I am writing besides the fact that I am being a drama king and looking for some comfort.  So yes I will get tested asap and yes i will try to keep my head about me til I do.  But the only thing I really want to hear is "I have never seen an insertive partner get HIV from a broken condom and I don't expect you to be the first"  Is that asking too much?  lol.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2009, 11:09:02 PM »
You can test now and your test will be conclusive.

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2009, 11:16:42 PM »
I know I can...trust my I know everyone of your rules and advise from A to Z....I have read most every post from the last 2 years from your website!  I just think I want to go back to the USA and do it with my family in case I am infected.  I know I am being a baby but I think it will be better for me with family around.  And hopefully if I am infected it will not cause too much damage by me waiting a little more.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2009, 11:20:41 PM »
It's not going to make a difference if you wait.

Offline Ann

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2009, 04:05:56 AM »
fingers,

Not only are you being a baby, but you're being foolish as well. Not even doctors treat themselves. You're not a doctor but yet you're self-diagnosing and prescribing yourself medications. Foolish! You need to see a doctor to find out what, if anything, is causing your clear discharge. While your risk for hiv infection was low in this instance, you were very much at risk for picking up one of the other, more easily transmitted infections.

You're well outside the window period - go test and get it over with. There are places you can test for hiv in Costa Rica, so don't even try to use that excuse. Don't think you'll be allowed to use this website to wring your hands over your inability to grow some balls and go test.

And yes, I do expect your result to be negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2009, 11:51:19 AM »
LOL.  Yes you are right of course on many different levels....but in the city I am in right now there is no HIV testing plus if I were to be positive I still would wait to get to the states to see a USA doctor...this way i could get things explained to me in English for what i am thinking would be a very important conversation.  I will take a rapid HIV test that my friend has already bought for me the first day back and then proceed from there....plus Ron said it probably would not hurt too much to wait so i will take that at face value.

Ann I think you are the most outspoken of all of the moderators and it is appreciated by many people including myself.  You in several instances like mine have come out and almost said, if not insinauated, that a person will test negative but needs to test anyway.  I was just saying that looking back i regret not taking PEP b/c I know I would feel much better going through hell for 28 days with bad side effects knowing it would almost be a slam dunk of not catching HIV that last forever...at least for now!  But you(and Andy as well), as I have stated in my previous post with examples, said that PEP was not necessary or warranted at all in these types of situations at all.....I was just saying that I hope your advice was correct.  I am not trying to have a confrontation with you b/c I know I would lose plus I respect your advise.  But maybe more of an explanation would be nice for everyone to hear rather than you and Andy just saying it is not needed or warranted.....just a thought!

I know my odds are low of catching HIV but unfortunately eventually the "house" is finally going to win and someone in my situation, and there are many, will have to pay up with a disease that could of been prevented by maybe taking PEP.  But again your advice, whether you like it or not or accept it or not,  as well as the others from this forum is people like mines "gold standard" that we all adhere too.  So yes I will grow some balls and listen to what i know is good advice you gave me in your previous post but I hope you can do the female alternative and give us all a good explanation of why we shouldn't put our bodies through 28 days of bad side effects when so much is on the line or just come out and say that we will NOT catch HIV with a broken condom if this is a one time only occurrence!!


Offline Ann

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2009, 12:59:37 PM »
Fingers,

We do not recommend PEP in a case such as yours (insertive vaginal where the receptive partner's status is unknown) because it is not recommended in PEP guidelines both in the US and the UK. Why would we go against the official guidelines set out by medical doctors and hiv researchers? Even when the receptive partner is known to be hiv positive, the insertive partner is not automatically put on PEP. The guidelines say discuss.

As for there being no place to test in San Jose, Costa Rica, I find that very hard to believe. There are at least nine different organisations in San Jose that deal with hiv - use this database to find them: click here. Any hospital is bound to have tests available. It's the 21st century, even in Costa Rica.

Hiv really is very difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. I was with a negative partner for a year and a half before my diagnosis. We never used condoms during that time (we did after) and he's hiv negative to this day. Is it possible to become infected after a one-time insertive vaginal event? Yes. Is it probable? Not in the least. You have a better chance of walking outside and finding an unclaimed multi-million winning lottery ticket lying in the gutter than you have of ending up positive over this incident.

And please make sure you read the condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly stored and used condom rarely breaks. Make sure you always check the use-by date as well. Latex degrades over time and will degrade more quickly if exposed to heat, such as keeping them in your wallet or in a car in hot weather.

Ann


edited to fix a broken link
« Last Edit: July 15, 2009, 01:06:21 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2009, 01:23:18 AM »
Ann- I am Back again!  I have been working for the past 10 days and have not had time to get to the internet.  I am not in San Jose(about 4 hours by car) nor will I be until I head back to the states....not that this is a great excuse but I have to work pretty much everyday til I leave in about 3 to 4 weeks.  I have contacted my family and I am going straight to the doctor the day after I arrive.  I also talked with my doctor and told him about my self diagnosing myself and what I have taken...he said what I took will cause no damages and cure some std's but of course need to do cultures and what not to figure everything out officially....he was a little mad at me too just like you Ann..lol.

Now then...you say why should go against what the guidelines are?  Hmmm...I don't take you as one not to say whats you really think despite any guidelines.  For example some people including the CDC say it possible to get HIV from oral sex....but I don't see you abiding by those guidelines!!

I just read a posting from a guy(Vistor001) who had sex with a CSW without a condom and asked if he should take PEP?  Both you and Andy said NO and explained why and backed it up with the guidelines from the USA and UK. Plus you said "it isn't necessary.  we are not making this up." HOWEVER i think your forum should start giving a new answer to this question if applicable to the situation.  I think you should tell the guy if possible to go find this CSW and go get her tested ASAP.  This way in the small chance that she does have HIV then he could start taking PEP.  I wish I would of done and then I would not be going through what I am going through now.....this without a doubt is the best possible answer you can give...its a win win for everybody.  Plus I bet a good percentage of the time the girl can be found again to make this happen.  This is only not applicable is if she is infected than you should not take PEP anyway...and I of course do not know that answer but I am sure that you do.  But unless the odds are just theoretical than I think this is what right answer to the question should be.  But I do bet you don't give a damn about what I think in this situation....lol....but still something to think about.

Now back to me..lol.  I am keeping myself very busy as Andy always suggests but my situation is weighing very heavy on mind pretty much every minute that I am awake.   My work is very close to the beach in this little town so needless to say on my time off I am taking long walks on the beach and trying to figure things out if I am infected....Saturday I went into such a deep depression like never before and I have a bad feeling it won't be the first and only time it happens.  I guess either way I will be so relieved to hear my results although if I am positive I will start a new kind of craziness in my head...but I have come to the resolution that it "is what it is" and I must deal with it no matter what and my life will go on....its just in what manner...with or without HIV.  I know you don't feel sorry for me b/c you think I am being a big baby but I thought I would share that with you anyway b/c I know the closer it gets to testing the more crazy I will become.

So what is your stance on gambling Ann?   I have a proposition for you if interested which I doubt and will probably get lectured in your belittling tone but I will ask anyway.  Although you did say I have a better chance of finding an unclaimed winning lottery ticket then having HIV so who knows..lol.   As we both know the odds are in my favor that I am not HIV positive...although in my head it is a 50/50 chance at best...which I do firmly believe by the way!!  So if I am positive you must fly me and a friend on a vacation of my choice...no more then $3,000.  And if I am not positive I will fly you and a friend to Costa Rica for a week with accommodations by the beach.  Or somewhere else if you don't like hot weather or the beach(no more than $3,000).  So I am offering you this bet EVEN money with no odds...either positive or not wins the bet....any true gambler would take it of course with the good odds your are getting(but like i said i think my odds are 50/50 at best) but I don't know if your a gambler or not...but like I said before I am sure you will let me know if some kind of tone either way....lol.  But this in one bet I definitely wouldn't mind paying!!!  And FYI you have some time to think about this before answering so don't be too hasty with your response....lol....around 3 to 4 weeks more or less.

I really do pray that I email you with good news after getting tested...there is nothing more I want than for you to prove me wrong....this I promise you!!  If i am negative I promise emailing this forum will be one of the first things I do....of course it will depend on how many tequila shots I take while waiting for the results on whether it would be that day or the next...lol.  And if I am positive I will email as well with the bad news....and then the sad part is you can never say your little saying again...."i have never heard of an insertive partner after a condom break become positive...and I don't expect you to be the first."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So for now adios from Costa Rica!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2009, 06:52:40 AM »
Fingers,

Well, I hope writing out that massive missive made you feel better, but it's not going to change a single thing concerning how we do things around here. We're never going to recommend PEP in a situation such as yours and we've never going to suggest that a person goes and finds the person they had sex with to get them to test. Make of that what you will.

I fully expect you to test negative following this one-time broken condom incident. And that's about all I can say to you. You're just going to have to keep walking the beach until you can get tested. Sorry.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2009, 11:44:48 PM »
Hi Ann & Company,
I am back again and doing worse then ever.  I unfortunately had to postpone my trip home until next week....but my D-Day is scheduled for next Wednesday without fail!  As the days countdown to my test next week my days get more and more consumed on the fact that I know I am positive.   I try to find solice in the Research Section but got even more depressed when I saw how much shorter my life will be after I am confirmed positive from Veritas' find today on the life expectancy of hiv positive people.  Although I honestly think that something amazing is around the corner that will take everyone off HAART and let them take something that will not be toxic and very easy to live with in the worst case scenario with of course the best case being the "c" word.....and that is thanks to Veritas, ItchingBlue and some others on there as well.  And by the way where did Bimazek go to?  I was not reading that section when he was on there all the time but his past threads and research were great I thought...everyone loves an optimist especially when you know that your life is about to effected by the research section with the inevitable confirmation of being positive!  I already know when confirmed I will be an avid member of that section!!

I think in my last week of my unknowing is going to kill me although I already know the answer...but I have succumb to the fact that I must deal with what I did and accept the consequences.  It makes me so sad that I really don't know what I am going to do when I hear the horrible news.  And maybe I am wrong but being a heterosexual in the stereotyped gay disease makes even harder for me to accept...not that I am homophobic at all b/c I am not but it still makes me mad as hell that I put myself in this position.  My uncle was gay who died 2 years ago of cancer and I wish so much I could talk to him about everything...he could of helped me so much through this horrible process.  I know he would of said either way everything will be OK and that would be nice to hear whether I believed it or not.

I still wish I would of taken PEP but I am not going to go on one of my rants again on how I think you should change your policy.  I will take one day at a time and deal with whatever happens next week even though I already know the horrible answer.....and as promised I will let you know the results ASAP!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2009, 12:03:50 AM »
Without the test you don't know anymore now than when you came here and no the nPEP policy will never change.

Offline anniebc

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2009, 03:17:52 AM »
As Rod said you will never know if you don't test, you can stop with "I know I'm positive" because you don't know..so stop with the dramatics and just go and get tested.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2009, 12:18:55 PM »
As I stated I am getting tested in 6 more days!  I just hope that I didn't wait too long and I need to start my meds immediately.  Its hard to find a answer to the average time someone starts their meds even though I know everyone is different.

Its hard not to be dramatic and neurotic when you think what is going to happen and how it will impact your life....and yes I am being a big baby but in a crazy way not knowing right now is a lot better than knowing I am positive when my test results come back late next week....even though I do know the D-Day of testing in the most important thing to do for me now so I figure out what to do and the best way to deal with this disease.

Hopefully the depression i am in now will help me get through the bad news faster than if being totally surprised that I am positive and then starting my depression.  Because trust me it is on my mind pretty much 90% of the day right now and when I get in that bad place that I do sometimes it is horrible.

And when Ann didn't take me up on my bet it makes me feel like she thinks there's a good chance too of me being positive.  I know I was just trying to make myself feel better with that b/c I would bet anyone 2k right now and hope I lost the bet!!  On the other hand if it weren't for Anns words of thinking I am not positive I would even be going even more crazy than I am now and even more depressed I know...so that I am very thankful for her even though I think she is wrong!

So if/after I am positive I hope you do change the PEP rules as well as trying to tell people to find the other person and get them tested too so if they are positive they can start PEP.

And if Ann is right I will gladly genuinely apologize and be happy to send her a present to express my gratitude and thank her for everything.  BUT if I am positive I really do hope you think about changing your policy about PEP b/c even if I am the only one than that is one too many when it could of possibly been stopped for 28 days of taking pills rather than a lifetime of taking them if positive!!

Deal?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2009, 01:05:29 PM »
You've got so many things mixed up here including about when PEP should be started, but I am not going to get into any of it because it's not relevant to your situation.

Despite your misinterpreting her unwillingness to "bet" you, you continue to ignore that she did tell you that she expects you to test negative. As do I.

Stop with the drama. Get your test and collect the negative result we expect you to have. Then you will be faced with getting on with your life without drama.
Andy Velez

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2009, 01:40:41 PM »
Hi Andy and thanks for your nice reply,

But if you read the whole post you would understand that I do know everthing about PEP...when to start it, the effects, etc. etc.   For or better or worse I have read everything on your website from top to bottom and know everything I possibly could......in fact I think I could be a moderator if I am positive once I get out of my neurotic and crazy state of mind I am in right now.

I do know that logic dictates that my odds are not very high to be positive..although I sincerely think I am and there is nothing I can do about it til I take the test.  What I am saying is even if the chances are 1 in 500 or even more that I wish I would of taken PEP in the first 72 hours b/c then my odds would of been even better that I will not be positive.  Plus i am saying that you should tell everyone to find the person they think they got it from and try to make them take the test...b/c then they could take it if they were positive.  Even if I knew the odds were 1 in 10,000 I wish I would of taken PEP now unless somehow you can guarantee me I will be negative..which I know you can not do!!

So if I am positive I want you to think about changing the policy b/c even one is one too many if there was a chance it could of been stopped.  And if positive I would be glad to also take lie detector tests to prove what my circumstances of catching HIV were exactly what I said they were....I want to make sure people know I was not lying and how I caught it so they can make the best decision possible if what happened to me(broken condom) happens to them.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2009, 02:38:54 PM »
Thanks for your clarification about your understanding on PEP.

Good luck with your test result.
Andy Velez

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2009, 03:26:29 PM »
Thanks Andy I will need it!!!  I will try to keep as busy as possible til then but even keeping busy will not help in my horrible state of mind....its just makes me more busy but still thinking that I positively have HIV.  And yes I could think of nothing greater then in 10 days from now getting a negative result and getting on with my life.  Either way i realize my life will be completely different no matter what the result!!  But wouldn't it be amazing to get a negative result and focus on something else for a change....like my normal life again...especially being able to go on a date again!!  I have met so many girls lately who I would love to ask out but I wanted to this ordeal taken care of first whichever direction it goes.....I bet alot of the girls who I hang out with alot think I am gay since I have not asked any of them out or even tried to kiss them...lol!!!!

But I know either way i will still be checking in on the Research News..of course not as much if negative but you already know i feel about that....especially on the Veritas thread-so fascinating and exciting!!  And if possible tell Liet to stay off there unless he has some good ammution-its embarrassing how Veritas keeps pummeling him all the time....lol

Thanks again and I will let you what happens.....but i do hope and pray that Ann will still be saying her famous quote 2 weeks from now...that will mean I am negative and moving on with my life...and buying her a present too...lol


Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2009, 12:52:47 PM »
HOPE and HIV-Two words that will always go hand in hand but used in different circumstances. 

Knowing in my head that I have HIV I still try to find things that give me HOPE that i do not.  The words from Ann and Andy and truly my 2 best avenues of HOPE without a doubt.  My mind keeps racing about what I will do when I get my results back...and to make it worse i think I will be getting them over the phone!!  Like I said i know my life will change dramatically either way but I am relieved that I will have an answer in a week or so and quit living the way I have been over the past months. 

I also have the HOPE from medhelp as well.  I know you don't play the numbers games as they do but even at the worst possible scenario my odds are 1 in 300 that I will be positive according to them....which is still pretty good odds i guess but not near good enough when so much is on the line!!  Plus in a couple threads Dr HHH say taking PEP could be a consideration if you think the risk was high enough(even if you don't know the person is positive) where Dr Hook says you should never take PEP if you don't know the person was positive.

Now on the other hand,  if you do think you will be positive or are positive HOPE in the research field must always remain high. In the Research News in your website HOPE is everywhere..as well as some despair as well.  So many things i have learned are in the process right now which could make a life changing impact to everyone positive...from Veritas thread, Zephyrs. thread, zinc fingers, dermi patch, virxsys, too many many more.  Of course from what I have read many things in the past have gotten people excited and lead to nothing and of course all of these can do the same but we all HOPE that at least one of them works and changes the dynamics of HIV for the better. 

So wherever you are HOPE is always there and hopefully never go away.  I have around 7 to 9 to day until i will be getting my test results back so until then I apologise for my rants but I really have no where else to do them.  I bet you are all wishing I am negative just so you do have to hear me all the time...b/c if i am positive I will want to chat will everyone endlessly...LOL

D-Day is approaching quickly and I have nothing else but HOPE to get my through.....

**Another idea for you-why not set up a 1-900 that is still fairly cheap so we can chat with a professional of the HIV subject and the profits all go to an AIDS fund....I guarantee you it would make a fortune and at the same time you would be doing the world a great service as well...b/c a voice is much better then a email as you could imagine!!....especially for crazy people like me!!  I know there could be some already but with your name behind it most everyone would want to talk with your company no matter what!!

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2009, 10:38:47 AM »
Well tomorrow is my test day and Friday I will have the results!!  I am so scared and nervous b/c despite what you have been saying I know I am positive and my life is about to changed forever!!  I know i am being dramatic but trust me i really really feel like this!

my dream is for everything to go great on Friday..report my results on this website...then for Ann to keep her streak intact and for her to say one more time her famous quote about me...wouldn't that be one of the greatest days in my life!!

If the happens i promise to sign off from here except for the Research News threads every once in while and start leading a drama free life again.....but if not I will be on here forever until a cure or better meds are found for everyone...

Thanks wish me luck b/c i know i need itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #19 on: September 16, 2009, 11:43:57 AM »
Well I am off to the doctor today.  The good/bad news is that I should have my results tomorrow instead of Friday which means I will know my fate sooner than I thought...only one more day of not knowing the inevitable!  I have some signs that I am positive which of course does not surprise me.

I have had minor form of jock itch since my accident and it is only getting worse and worse...of course all of these symtoms add up to my inevitable response on Thursday or Friday.  My mom is a nervous wreck of course but says we will deal with it either way.  I let her read this post last night and she says thank you for your responses and thinks that there is a good chance I might be okay b/c the people at your website should know way more then me!!

So I am off to the doctor and then to a long movie to hopefully keep my mind of things for at least a litte while.......I can't  imagine how I will be when I know that phone is going to ring!!!  I am really sad and depressed!!!

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2009, 06:59:37 PM »
Wow.  SINCERELYSCARED scared sounds alot like me...i had lesions as well that were very itchy....

Well the test is done and now its the waiting game for me....I went to a movie and that didn't help too much since all I could think about was the test results.  It will probably be tomorrow for the results they said but we will see....

Until then I will just try to be positive and pray for the best...but obviously be ready for the worst if it occurs.....

I wish I could of given them Ann's phone number so she could get the news for me and let me know........LOL

Offline Ann

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2009, 06:21:29 AM »
fingers,

I hardly think they'd make a long-distance call to the UK to deliver you your negative results. Are you this much of a drama queen over everything in your life?

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2009, 10:14:20 AM »
Somethings yes somethings no like everyone I guess.  This one without a doubt put me into a state of mind which I am not very proud of at all but I still can't do anything to change it.  My mom must called the office and my results will be in today in 6 to 8 hours without a doubt.

I know that today is the biggest day in my life unfortunately and I will know the outcome by the end of the afternoon.  Its amazing how much a factor this decision will play in my life but I know either way it is so huge!

Of course my mind is racing with a trillion things making me believe i am positive and i can't do anything about it.....

But I wanted to say I am sorry for being such a drama king about everything....I know you know alot more than me and I should of tested earlier...I just wanted you to know that it really was hard for me and my state of mind.  And if i am positive hopefully waiting as long as i did does not hurt me any further than if i would of tested earlier.

Again, thanks for everything and I really do hope you are right on your prognostication.  I really want your streak to continue and not stop with me.

Offline fingerscrossed09

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2009, 11:07:36 PM »
Well its been a crazy few days to say the least!  We kept waiting and waiting for the results but they kept telling us they were not ready yet.  So today we went and found out something went wrong and we had to redo them.  So I insisted I get HIV tested today.  So I wound up getting tested with the Orasure Saliva Test by a doctor....it was NEGATIVE.

So the doctor told me it was a really good test even though it was saliva but of course I did not believe him....he was so positive about it that he said I didn't need to get tested again for HIV.  So I got online and saw that it was pretty good although there were some complaints that said it was only 85% accurate rather than the 99% they proclaim.  But it is FDA approved which I guess should count for something plus I see they are getting a ton of orders from everywhere in the world....even London....."Barts and the London NHS Trust has become the first National Health Service provider in the United Kingdom to offer rapid, oral HIV tests, BBC News reports"
So I will take my result as pretty good news but still not totally satisfied until my blood tests come back later on this week with a confirmation I hope.....
Thanks and I hope all the results don't change and stay the same.....I am still very nervous!

Offline Ann

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Re: ..." and I don't expect you to be the first"
« Reply #24 on: September 22, 2009, 05:25:34 AM »
fingers,

If the oral swab test has any faults, it's that it is prone to false POSITIVE results. Any positive result gained through a rapid test will be double checked with a standard blood test ELISA and a Western Blot.

You tested far outside the window period and you can trust your negative oral swab result. Really, you can. You were never likely to test positive anyway, as we've repeatedly told you. So, no big surprise here.

Make sure you protect your negative status here on out by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. A correctly used and stored condom rarely breaks, so make sure you do the reading.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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