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Author Topic: Looking for more moral support  (Read 3836 times)

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Offline smalltown66

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Looking for more moral support
« on: June 24, 2009, 06:07:26 PM »
Hello all

If you look at my previous post you can tell that I am not a regular on this forum. I do read up on the post several times a year and do post occasionally when I have an issue I want to share or have questions to be answered. I have to admit I am not the greatest at being a social butterfly. I live in a small town in Ohio . I have very few gay friends and even fewer HIV+ friends. Actually when it comes to HIV + friends I have none.

Most of my support often comes from my HIV specialist doctor. I have had other opportunities to get to know others in support groups and meetings, but that usually is uncomfortable for me. My doc says I need more interactions with others with HIV. I think what I want is just a another HIV + friend to share stories and the woes and tribulations we all go through. I would also like to be of some support for someone else.

We all know it is good when we have a good support system. That I think I do have a fairly decent one with the friends I have made here in my smalltown. But still it is not the same as having someone familiar with what you actually are going through.


Anyone out there who thinks that they may need a close Friend to share stories, trials and tribulations and also good times with,maybe I'm the one. Take a look at my previous post to find about a little about me. We may have lots to share and can be great support for one another
Thanks for listening to my pitiful rant.

Smalltown guy
Lifting the weight of the world sure is easier with others with the same goal.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2009, 09:10:38 PM »
There is nothing pitiful about your post, you have come to the right place for support and friendship, I'm not a LTS but there are many here who are and they are a great bunch of guys, so stay with them and you won't regret it.

Take care
Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 102
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2009, 09:46:34 PM »
When my blood work showed something wrong a freind of my mom's had sugested geting me out of the room I had barikated myself in to well wate to die in ?

It was a diner theater and that was twenty something plus years ago ?

granted I still feel the wate of the world on these old shoulders but after decade after decade you would think progress would have ocurd someplace ?

anyone seen Nyumbani it is an orphange in africa > this is not just small town USA or big city this global ?

sorry if in 1980 when I saw the news reports ? I had read one news report about two nurses who had treated tihs guy in 1980 who had been verry ill had picked up the virus from treating him and they each died three years later ? granted they did not use gloves they did not use masks they just wore standered nurses outfits while changing his ???????? sorry I know I read to much and have been told on many ocations I think to much ?  Butthe world will not change by itself some times it just needs a little nudge now and again to keep it on track ? If we all work together the world will be the place of hope and love and understanding we all know it can be >

all my best to you
em

Offline buca45

  • Member
  • Posts: 187
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2009, 06:52:49 PM »
I know what you are feeling.....I think we all have when first being diagnosed.
I am 17+ years into being infected and have survived a number of issues. I too have been advised to go to support groups and to make contact with other HIV pozzies to help with depression and anxiety issues. For some reason, I just cannot make face to face contact with others facing the challenges of being HIV+. It is just not me.
I do come here and other HIV websites and read all I can and cyber experience what so many others are going through. It might not be the same as speaking face to face and building RL friendships, but it is a huge step in communicating with other HIVers. Only you know when and how to go about building friendships...take it slow and let trust be built naturally.
I do gain so much just from reading here. Although I have been a member for years on this site, you see I only have 139 or so posts, I just don't contribute that much, but do feel everything other posters live with.
Good Luck to you and hope you find friendship and company here. I have chatted with a number of members here and all seemed to be real good people.
"Love and Laughter and Happiness Ever After"

Offline smalltown66

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2009, 02:50:02 PM »
Thanks buca45!

It's nice to know there are others that feel the way I do. I am trying to become more social. I am trying to keep up more on this forum. I do feel there is some wonderful support here.

Thanks again

Smalltown66
Lifting the weight of the world sure is easier with others with the same goal.

Offline Harley Guy

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2009, 07:27:49 PM »
Hello,

  I know just what you are going through. I am in the very same place. I am looking for an outlet that involves someone else who is positive. I have no friends that are positive and no gays friends. I am having a hard time with trust issues. I have been in a relationship for 13 years and talking to him is of no help. He just looks at me and shruges everything off.

  I have been positive for 6 years and on meds for 1.5 years. I have not had a hard time with the meds. It is just the daily obsessive thoughts about being positive and having noone to talk with about the feelings. It is e friends and having no luck in finding them....

  Harley Guy

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2009, 02:59:49 AM »
That why I think these forums mean so much to so many of us.

My local ASO (in NW Indiana) has tried to set up a support group but after a year they can't get anyone to agree to come (except me).  For some it's an issue of time/money or transportation but the sad thing is that for most of them it's stigma.

These forums are a great place to share & learn ... you can always PM me if you'd like to chat privately.

Hugs to all,
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline Harley Guy

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2009, 07:15:12 PM »
Hello everyone,

  This is a good place to vent. Since coming here I do feel much better. I just wish that there were people that I could chat with face to face.  I know that I have a hard time making friends and then to be specific that they are HIV positive also, maybe asking to much...Still looking for support group that I could attend with no luck at present.

  My viral meningitis is resolved. Thank God. I had a headache for 14 days striaght and had a three day stay in the hospital, which I didn't like at all. I hope that that will make me a better nurse. I am looking at it as God wanting me to know what it is like to be a patient in hospital..

  Gotta run. I would like to wish peace and health to all....

Harley Guy

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2009, 03:58:33 AM »
I'm glad you are doing better and that you have some relief from the headache.
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline smalltown66

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2009, 09:24:52 AM »



  I have been positive for 6 years and on meds for 1.5 years. I have not had a hard time with the meds. It is just the daily obsessive thoughts about being positive and having noone to talk with about the feelings. It is e friends and having no luck in finding them....

  Harley Guy
I have been positive for 14 years. I would be glad to listen to you and talk about your problem as a friend

Smalltown66
Lifting the weight of the world sure is easier with others with the same goal.

Offline ZENON56

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
  • I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2009, 07:56:10 PM »
Hello.
Having just joined aidsmeds, I am just scrolling around. But I saw your post and can relate to your situation. I only have one gay friend ( most have passed in one way or another ) who lives in the same highrise apartment building that I do. We speak almost everyday, he's younger than me by about 5 year's but he is not hiv+ so there is'nt the support that I really need.
So I am mostly alone, my family have all passed, I don't have any friend's, I don't work ( I am on a dissability program ) but I have come to understand that I have chosen to close myself off to the world, and live like a hermit. Living in Canada I have more than one doctor, I have my family doctor, hiv doctor, phycologist, and a specialist I see only when I need treatment.
I am 56 year's of age, and have been living with hiv for almost 30 year's, and although I've had low count's I have never had an aids related illness. And with the new drug's that I am on, I am once again undetectable. I have time on my hand's, probably most of the fear's and problem's as you, but I especially feel that isolation and loneliness as you. I don't know how you get in touch privately here, but I would very much like to be a friend to you, be it only online, and it is kind of like stepping out of your box and seeking another soul. Please get in touch.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,681
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2009, 01:48:39 AM »
this web site is a GOD send !

I live in a town of 57  people , in the Ozark Mountains !

My Husband   :)  ,   Looks at me like a fool when i talk about HIV !

I do go to suppoer groups , Most are about  100  miles away , but you gotta do what you gotta do !

 I wish you the best 

                                                  Carl

P.S.  when I NEED  support I come here , always feel better   :D
" Live and let Live "

Offline smalltown66

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2009, 10:17:53 AM »
Weasel, ZENON56, Harley Guy, Andy Arrow, Buca45,annie bc,em



I want you all to know how uplifting this post has been to me . it is always great to feel you are included and that someone cares. That's what you all have done. Another feather in your angel wings. Angels of love willing to reach out to others .

Thanks so much
Lifting the weight of the world sure is easier with others with the same goal.

Offline Giblarry

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
  • Desert AIDS Project - Ribbon Man - 2009 Walk logo
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2009, 12:33:30 PM »
My I add some thoughts on this? 
How about volunteerism?  You live in a small town so I doubt there are any ASO's nearby.  But volunteering has it's own paradigm.  So, it doesn't have to be HIV volunteerism.  Food programs at your local community center or church are among them. 
People who are dedicated volunteers also live in a different paradigm.  We are more accepting and compassionate.  We get to enjoy the God-given fulfillment of serving life better than life serves us.  Support groups and such are fine, but their focus is from the outward to within.  Volunteering goes outward from within.  Let life bless you. 

Offline shreveman

  • Member
  • Posts: 27
Re: Looking for more moral support
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2009, 09:34:52 PM »
Hi Smalltown guy. I can relate to what you posted. I am not new to POZ dot com but I am new to the forum section. I have had periods in my life where I was isolated and felt like I had no one to talk with who understood. Over the years I feel less that way. I do have one very good gay friend that I talk with every day - he's not HIV+ and I have a positive friend that I talk with sometimes. There seems to be some good advice and genuine comments on this site - makes me glad I've gotten involved. I'd be glad to talk more with you if you'd like. I've seen some mention about private messaging - not sure how that works on here or if it's even available, but I think you can e-mail me if you want to talk more. Be glad to listen and share stories, get to know each other some, etc. Wishing the best for you. Take care.

 


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