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Author Topic: Worst Birthday Ever!  (Read 1097 times)

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Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 5,120
  • 31 Years Poz
Worst Birthday Ever!
« on: June 29, 2015, 01:19:28 PM »
Dear POZ Family,

During the month of June, I was hospitalized three times, as I was having a very hard time breathing and my heart rate was around 95.  During the first and second stay, tests could not determine what was causing my distress and within a day or two, my health returned to normal and I was sent home.

Last Tuesday, I was admitted once again, with extremely labored breathing and another heart rate of 95.  After some initial tests, it was determined that my lungs had filled with water and there was something abnormal about my heart.  I started Lasix and Cortisone and shed almost 4 liters of water in the next 24 hours and my breathing appeared to return to normal.  Unfortunately, my lungs are not the issue here, itís my heart.

I have a history of Dilated Cardiomyopathy (DC) and in the late 80s, I had a score of 4th degree and though we could not determine the cause, the HIV virus was seen as the most probable cause, as well as some of the early HIV drugs that I done in trials.  It was devastating and it involved years of drug therapies to reverse the damage and by the mid-90s my heart returned to normal.  Fast forward to today and here I am again.  My cardiologist did an ultrasound and determined that my DC had returned and it was serious.  We discussed various options, including a pacemaker and I am going to have extensive testing this week.

I also turned 61 on Saturday and all of this has hit me, like a ton of bricks.

I normally do not post about my personal health.  To be honest, it bores me to tears and I can usually work my way through the lesser issues, but not this one.  Iím not afraid to die, as much as Iím simply sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Itís been like this for decades and my will is waningÖ I took time away from the forums, until today, as I need to be here, especially at times like these.

Iím breaking my friendsÖ

Just to be clear, my health is stable and my mind is clear, however, I have never been more scared in my life.

I simply have no more words, writing this was torture, so Iíll leave it as is and await whatever support my family may provide.

I Love You All,

Joe

Dilated Cardiomyopathy

Offline Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 14,944
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2015, 01:41:54 PM »
Joe ... you know we will be here for you. Its your turn to be cared for, Hugs.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,186
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2015, 01:45:51 PM »
Joe.  You're definitely in my thoughts.  Take care of yourself.

huge hugs
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline zach

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,703
  • G,D,Em,C
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2015, 02:01:43 PM »
((((joe)))

love you man, even when i'm a bratty annoying thorn in your side, i have the utmost respect and admiration for you... you're a giant rock

 ;D

stay strong, hang in there
An honest tune with a lingering lead has taken me this far

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,022
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2015, 03:45:23 PM »
Joe,

So sorry you are going through all of this.... again.

Best wishes for you this week with all of your tests. I will be thinking of you.

Hugs
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline JimDublin

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2015, 04:52:00 PM »
Joe, Sorry to hear you are having a rough time and wishing you the best.

Jim.
To quote my sister:
See my theory is dad farted so much near us as kids that he has given me all these deficiencies! So be careful where you fart! 😁

Offline DodgerDawg

  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • "Dude, It Could Be Worse"
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2015, 05:02:57 PM »
Joe,

Thinking positive cosmic waves,

DD
January 2014 CD4 = 5      VL = 1,800,000
June      2014 CD4 = 206  VL =            48
January 2015 CD4  = 211  VL =            71
June      2015 CD4 = 155  VL =             UD

Offline TheNormalLife

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • Rules have changed; giving up is never an option
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2015, 06:18:41 PM »
In my thoughts Joe...

My admiration for your strength and courage.

Ray.
09/14 Conversion
12/14 Diagnosed
12/14 CD4-6; VL-4245 (wrong CD4 test)
01/15 CD4-530 (pheeew)
01/15 CD4-755
03/15 CD4-545; VL-14401
04/15 CD4-623; VL-4531
04/15 Truvada/Efavirenz
07/15 CD4-595; VL-UD

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,623
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2015, 06:42:44 PM »
Joe,

So sorry to hear of your health challenges -- you know that you can ALWAYS come here and find the support you need.  You are in my thoughts and I'm sending some positive energy up north!!

Hugs,
Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2015 969/28% <20

Offline initforlife

  • Member
  • Posts: 703
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2015, 07:22:16 PM »
Sending lots of hugs and Love.  We are here whenever you need us  . I know you have help me and others lots . I hope you get well soon
sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. then to offend

Offline DANIELtakashi

  • Member
  • Posts: 443
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2015, 09:19:37 PM »
There is nothing l can do for you as l am on the other side of the world but you are in my thoughts.
Please take care.
Japanese National.
Language:  Japanese and English
Reside in TOKYO
Have visited 45 US states, DC, and Guam and Saipan.

Offline Almost2late

  • Member
  • Posts: 650
  • Life goes on
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2015, 11:14:41 PM »
Joe,

Sorry to hear about your illness.. Hope your doctors can find a way to make you feel better and that you lose the fear and find peace and comfort.. Wishing you better days, sending you good positive energy your way.

hugs

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,387
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2015, 11:57:31 PM »
Joe,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.  I can only imagine how scary this is.  You're in my thoughts.

Offline hayssam

  • Member
  • Posts: 57
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2015, 12:36:38 AM »
joe am really sad to this, we all love you

this is not a simple disease... maybe it came from an Egyptian pharaonic tomb for a non ending suffering situation :(

Offline zach

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,703
  • G,D,Em,C
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2015, 01:05:07 AM »
maybe it came from an Egyptian pharaonic tomb for a non ending suffering situation :(

seems legit
An honest tune with a lingering lead has taken me this far

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,143
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2015, 04:30:37 AM »
Hi Joe

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and hoping you take a turn for the better soon.  I know everyone in the forums is here for you.

Big hugs

Aroha
Jan :-* :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Online Reggie

  • Member
  • Posts: 75
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2015, 10:42:06 AM »
Stay positive Joe, alot of love directed your way from people here on the forums, and I add mine!!

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 5,120
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2015, 09:05:43 PM »
Thanks all.  I will be taking lung tests as well as heart endurance testing.  Can't wait.

Joe

Offline jm1953

  • Member
  • Posts: 283
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2015, 10:16:35 PM »
Dear Joe;

I am so sorry you are going through all this.  Ironically I have a friend going through much of the same in Los Angeles.  Please know we all appreciate and care for you like family.  You have given so much to us, please let us reciprocate and know in your heart we are here for you under any circumstances.

I feel things will improve, but I can relate to how scared you must be.  Again, remember you aren't alone in this but have a number of people who you probably never met who care for you very much.

Please take care and keep us in the loop.  Hugs to you.
Positive 29 years. Diagnosed 10/1987.  Current CD 4: 720: Viral load: almost 100.  Current drug regimen, Tivicay, Emtriva, Endurant, Wellbutrin, Clonazepam, Uloric, Losartan Potassium,Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 471
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #19 on: July 01, 2015, 10:59:41 AM »
Joe K,

Thinking of you and also thanking you for the wise words that you often post to help and comfort others.
Your boardie family will always support you.

Let us know how you are doing when you feel up to posting again.

britchickxx



Offline bubba53

  • Member
  • Posts: 545
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2015, 11:26:51 AM »
Joe....
I just saw this, I am so sorry you've been having such a rough time.
Hope you start feeling well soon and they get to the bottom of this,
my heart goes out to you.
A Very Happy belated Birthday to you !
everyone try to behave till Joe is well enough to spank us  ;)
Take care of yourself ,Wade
"Who put the pepper in the....Vaseline  ? " Coffee Butler

Offline tryingtostay

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2015, 04:38:04 PM »
Oh no, not good  :(


Good Luck on your road to recovery, Joe. 

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,444
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #22 on: July 01, 2015, 07:34:34 PM »
Joe,

Sending warm thoughts as you work through this. I know you will be OK.

Take care,

OT
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline Cojo

  • Member
  • Posts: 206
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2015, 04:54:44 AM »
Hey Joe

I am thinking about you and all of the wonderful support and care you have provided to us and I'm trusting the cosmos will return that favour back my friend. Your post on forgiveness was an epiphany moment; it was an enduring gift. All shall be well Joe -hang in there.
May 2011 - Tested Positive
June 2011 - CD4 330   16%   VL182,000 no resistance
Oct 6, 2011 - CD4 300  20%  VL 60,000
Oct 7, 2011 - start Truvada / Isentress
Nov 29, 2011 CD4 280 26% VL 54
Feb 7 2012 CD4 260 25% UD!
Mar 20 2012 CD4 400 28%
June 2012 CD4 330 26% UD
Sept 2012 CD4 450 32% UD
Dec 2012 CD4 310 28% UD
May 2013 CD4 500 32% UD
Oct 2013 CD4 460 33% UD
May 2014 CD4 360 33% UD
Aug 2014 swap out Isentress for Tivicay
Oct 2014 CD4 320 33% UD
Feb 2015 CD4 420 30% UD

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,818
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2015, 03:01:37 PM »


    Joe ,
          I hope you have good news ,   I pray all goes well for your health .

                                                                   Carl
" Live and let Live "

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,728
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #25 on: Today at 01:26:29 AM »


  Joe,

    I don't pray much, and I don't subscribe to all that your in my thoughts mumbo jumbo.  I will say this though, I don't want anything to happen to you.. EVER,

    If life was only so simple....
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #26 on: Today at 04:09:59 AM »
Hang on Joe .relate 100% to the sick & tired of being sick & tired state. With love Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline intaglio

  • Member
  • Posts: 229
  • Doesn't have to pay for vowels
Re: Worst Birthday Ever!
« Reply #27 on: Today at 10:21:42 AM »
Sorry to hear you're dealing with this, especially all the uncertainty your diagnosis has created.

Hopefully there has been some advancement in treatment since the mid-90's and this time around you will recover more quickly.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.

 


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