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Author Topic: Oh my God.  (Read 3458 times)

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Offline Mouse

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  • Om nom nom.
Oh my God.
« on: June 14, 2009, 12:10:32 AM »
I HAD to post and tell everyone how excited I am.

I brought my mom to a conference today about transgender people to hope to get her more on board with my transition. She's been reluctant since I've come out to her. Accepting, but reluctant. Today she met a bunch of other parents and finally seems to have had it totally click.

I've been on testosterone for two years but I've always felt like chest surgery was way far in my future. I was afraid I'd have to wait until like my thirties to have it done, and it would be depressing to have lived through that much of my life hiding my body.

But, she's spoken to my aunt tonight - and she's agreed to help me pay for it.

So with her, in addition to student loans that I plan on taking out (that um... will not be going towards educational expenses lol) I am likely to be able to have my chest surgery this upcoming winter break.

I am seriously so excited and overwhelmed. This has been such a good day.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2009, 06:33:53 AM »
Mouse, I'm so happy for you! Taking your mum along to the conference was a stroke of genius. I'm glad she's had the chance to connect with other parents of transgendered people - what a great help for both of you.

And you know, I'm totally speachless that she was so switched on that she spoke to your aunt about helping you with funding for your surgery. That's absolutely fantastic! I know how much this means to you and I'm glad that you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for sharing this with us. It's made my day/week/month/year!

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline bear60

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2009, 11:53:06 AM »
I'm very happy for you.  Good luck.

Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2009, 01:21:21 PM »
Wonderful to hear that your mother is becoming more involved and that you are going to be getting your surgery!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2009, 01:21:55 PM »
I'm happy that you are happy. :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline next2u

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2009, 06:14:10 PM »
congrats mouse!!! thanks for sharing the good news.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2009, 06:39:40 PM »
OMG is right!  Good to see you, Mouse, and even better to hear about the upcoming plans!

I bet you're still jumping up and down!  Woo-hoooooooooo!   ;D

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2009, 06:43:36 PM »
This news is totally awesome, Jaser.  I'm so happy your mom is right on with this as well.  I know you're excited, and I just wanted to tell you how great this is!

by the way, using student loans for educational purposes only is very over-rated.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline fearless

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2009, 06:53:39 PM »
Fantastic news Jaser.
You must be way happy today.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2009, 03:48:18 AM »
Very cool -- It's always great when you hear things are moving forward. 

Truly genius to take your mom to the convention and kudos to her to be willing to learn & grow!!

Hugs,
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2009, 10:47:33 AM »
Good news indeed, however have you considered working to get the money for the elective surgery? Using student loans to pay for it is against the law as it is in no way part of education, and the student loans seem to take forever to pay back.

Offline odyssey

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2009, 11:08:54 AM »
Congrats Mouse on this positive turn of events! Having chest surgery was one of the most fulfilling parts of my transition. If you want to talk about it more, feel free to send me a PM.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline Mouse

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2009, 02:59:26 PM »
Good news indeed, however have you considered working to get the money for the elective surgery? Using student loans to pay for it is against the law as it is in no way part of education, and the student loans seem to take forever to pay back.


If I could find a job I would already have been saving up money and even if I was it would take me years and years to save up the thousands of dollars I need.

And people often use student loans to pay for living expenses and health care. I consider chest surgery necessary for my health. I don't really care about having to pay them back. I seriously cannot handle waiting for this anymore.

Offline BT65

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2009, 06:31:19 PM »
Using student loans to pay for it is against the law

Puz-leeze.  People use student loans for other things all the time.  It's not like you have to report what the money's used for. ::)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2009, 11:51:34 AM »
Yea fraud goes on every day and people get away with it. Fact is the country is broke and in the end it is the federal government who is either loaning the money outright or guaranteeing it. When the student leaves school and defaults on the loan, then the taxpayers have just paid for elective surgery. When such a large part of the country is broke, unemployed, going without health care, this is an irresponsible use of taxpayer money and it is FRAUD!

Iím in school AND working, how about some tax dollars come my way for a little nips and tuck? Iím getting damn tired of people living with HIV acting like they are entitled to everything from transportation to sex change operations! Fact is we are living in tough times and some of us are going without basic needed health care, let along elective surgery.

We who live with HIV/AIDS need health care, if UNABLE to work, then food, housing and so forth, same goes for people living with cancer or any other catastrophic disease. Itís time that we all take responsibility for ourselves and do as much as we can for ourselves. If you want some ďworkĒ done on your body, then wait until you can pay for it honestly on your own. 

Yesterday I responded to a guyís posting on Craigslist who couldnít afford the co pays on his HIV medications. When we are living in a world where people are not going without needed basics of life then yea let the government (we the taxpayers for those of who work) pay for elective surgery until then support your own needs.

Offline Mouse

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2009, 12:19:06 PM »
Yea fraud goes on every day and people get away with it. Fact is the country is broke and in the end it is the federal government who is either loaning the money outright or guaranteeing it. When the student leaves school and defaults on the loan, then the taxpayers have just paid for elective surgery. When such a large part of the country is broke, unemployed, going without health care, this is an irresponsible use of taxpayer money and it is FRAUD!

Iím in school AND working, how about some tax dollars come my way for a little nips and tuck? Iím getting damn tired of people living with HIV acting like they are entitled to everything from transportation to sex change operations! Fact is we are living in tough times and some of us are going without basic needed health care, let along elective surgery.

We who live with HIV/AIDS need health care, if UNABLE to work, then food, housing and so forth, same goes for people living with cancer or any other catastrophic disease. Itís time that we all take responsibility for ourselves and do as much as we can for ourselves. If you want some ďworkĒ done on your body, then wait until you can pay for it honestly on your own. 

Yesterday I responded to a guyís posting on Craigslist who couldnít afford the co pays on his HIV medications. When we are living in a world where people are not going without needed basics of life then yea let the government (we the taxpayers for those of who work) pay for elective surgery until then support your own needs.



Your post just shows that you honestly have no idea what gender identity disorder really is or means.

This is absolutely 100 percent necessary surgery and I consider it basic needed health care. It is not cosmetic.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2009, 12:32:02 PM »
CJWAUS, you're obviously very, very clueless about trans issues as far as surgery goes.  Maybe you should research the issue slightly before climbing up on the soapbox.

Would you consider Sculptra or PMMA facial fillers for HIV lipoatrophy to be an elective cosmetic procedure or something that insurance should pay for?  Even more - would you consider someone getting a prosthetic arm or leg cosmetic?  How about a restorative procedure for a woman's breast after breast cancer?
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 01:42:11 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2009, 12:37:51 PM »
Mouse,
My post wasnít necessarily directed at you, more so at BT65 for the care free attitude about fraud and responsibility. In fact I have watched your postings on here for a number of years and have a great deal of admiration for you and what you have gone through from such a young age. While my name CJWAUS was started a couple years ago, I have been on here much longer than that, so I have been reading your postings for about as long as I have had HIV myself. I guess in a way I admire you for persevering through such medical and social issues at such a young age.

You also remind me a bit of a 14 year old kid I met when I was a deputy sheriff a long time ago. The first time he had sex it was with an HIV+ couple who infected him. His mother kicked him out of the house and he was homeless at 14. The next step was his Catholic school kicked him out. I helped him get in touch with PFLAG and helped him get into public school. He continued on in school, played football, and became a bit of a gay graffiti artist/activist. I kept in touch with him until he was about 16, I often wonder about him, and how he turned out.

You are right, I donít know much about gender issues, but I can give you a couple hints. Cuba provides these surgeries free to their citizens, and Cuba has a very good medical system. They also have a medical tourism industry where they provide medical services for a fraction of the US cost.  At this time it is not legal for the average US citizen to travel to Cuba, but it can be done through Canada. Do some research; you may be able to get what you need done for a lot less than you think.

Best of luck!
CJWAUS

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2009, 12:49:59 PM »

Offline Mouse

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2009, 12:51:00 PM »
You are right, I donít know much about gender issues, but I can give you a couple hints. Cuba provides these surgeries free to their citizens, and Cuba has a very good medical system. They also have a medical tourism industry where they provide medical services for a fraction of the US cost.  At this time it is not legal for the average US citizen to travel to Cuba, but it can be done through Canada. Do some research; you may be able to get what you need done for a lot less than you think.

When I have my chest surgery it's going to be through a surgeon I've already chosen because she's had consistently good results over a very long period of time. I'm going to have to live with the results of the surgery for the rest of my life so I'm not willing to go to anyone but who I consider the best. And in any case, with her it will cost me about $7,400 - which is a lot, but not enough to make me go out of the country.

I appreciate your concern about fraud, but your statement before:
Quote
Iím in school AND working, how about some tax dollars come my way for a little nips and tuck? Iím getting damn tired of people living with HIV acting like they are entitled to everything from transportation to sex change operations!

was a bit disturbing. I agree with David - before making statements like this you should really do your research. As it stands it just sounds like you have a gross misunderstanding of transgender issues - especially to lump it in with a statement like "nips and tucks".

Surgery like this for transgender people is absolutely medically necessary surgery. People take out student loans all the time to cover living expenses, which include medical expenses not covered by insurance - and that's exactly what this is, a medical expense.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2009, 12:53:05 PM »
CJWAUS, part of the issue here is that in that one post of yours that was rather over the top and angry, you seemed to want to place this all in the same category as botox.  You don't seem to have really allowed for exactly how disagreeable that viewpoint would seem, or how transphobic it came across. 

I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but if you re-read your other post you should see how that would be so.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #21 on: June 16, 2009, 01:39:41 PM »
Miss Philicia,
Iím not transphobic, what I am is very much in favor of being responsible for ourselves. Can a person live without Botox, yes they can. Will they be happy maybe not?  Can a person live without gender reassignment surgery, yes they can, and will they be happy probably not. So long as there are people in this country living without BASIC MEDICAL NECESSITIES, I am very opposed to spending taxpayer dollars on non essential medical procedures. When and if we ever get a decent insurance system in this country and everyone is being taken care of then I would probably support gender reassignment procedures.

You are taking an argument for being financially responsible, and turning it into an argument against me by saying that I am somehow opposed to transgendered people. I could care less what the procedure in question was. If it was circumcision, breast enlargement, breast reduction, Botox, tummy tucks whatever. My argument was about financial responsibility.

Now, if you want to get into a discussion of what the government should and shouldnít pay for, then that is a discussion for another posting another time but think about how much insurance is going to cost, and how much harder it is going to be to get if it is mandated that procedures that are elective are required to be covered. Iím sure it would be a great boost to my self esteem if my insurance would pay for some new hair, are you now going to decide that my self esteem issues over my lack of hair are any less important than another personís issues with their gender?

Also, please take into account the burden that we HIV+ people are already placing on the system. Last year, my medical insurance paid out around $38,000.00 for my care. How much more do I supposedly have the RIGHT to ask them for? In my opinion I have the right to ask them for whatever it takes to keep me alive and well enough to work, go to school and so forth.

If a woman has breast cancer and needs a mastectomy then yes insurance should pay for the reconstruction, same for testicular cancer, a prosthetic for a leg lost to diabetes and so on.

Now, feel free to go forth and bash me the rest of the day as I need to go to work so that I can pay my taxes to support the system and myself.
    
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 02:04:27 PM by CJWAUS »

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #22 on: June 16, 2009, 01:44:03 PM »
Yeah, you still don't get it.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #23 on: June 16, 2009, 02:05:36 PM »
NO, you don't get it, you want a tit job pay for it yourself!

Offline Mouse

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #24 on: June 16, 2009, 02:14:23 PM »
Quote
If a woman has breast cancer and needs a mastectomy then yes insurance should pay for the reconstruction, same for testicular cancer, a prosthetic for a leg lost to diabetes and so on.

Gender reassignment surgery is DIRECTLY comparable to these things. If you believe these things should be covered, so should my chest reconstruction.

You SERIOUSLY are not understanding the fact that this is NOT COSMETIC SURGERY and NOT COMPARABLE to Botox.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2009, 02:15:32 PM »
NO, you don't get it, you want a tit job pay for it yourself!

CJ,

No, you really don't get gender reassignment surgery. It's not an elective "tit job".

If you want to discuss what you deem to be necessary medical treatment and how/who it's paid for/pays for it, then I suggest you start a new thread. This young man has enough to deal with in his life without having to explain his need for surgery to you.

We get it that you pay taxes. ALL of us here have paid into the system and if we don't currently, we have in the past. I hope that when you might need public money, nobody begrudges you like you're begrudging this kid.

And besides, it's a LOAN he's talking about. Educational loans are there to provide support for people in higher education. How that money is spent and what support is necessary is up to the individual's discretion, seeing how it's a LOAN and will be REPAID.

Please do not hijack this thread with any further gender reassignment surgery ways and means bashing. And yes, this is a warning.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline CJWAUS

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2009, 02:27:57 PM »
Ann- you dont warn me of anything now ban me from AIDSMEDS with your magic wand! Good god over 12 THOUSAND postings, GET A JOB you seem to have no life other than this forum. Help contribute rather than just take from the system. I'm talking tax money here not nuggets of so called wisdom.

« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 02:31:10 PM by CJWAUS »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2009, 02:30:28 PM »
Ann- you dont warn me of anything now ban me from AIDSMEDS with your magic wand!



OK, I'm giving you a seven day time out.

Ann


Ann- you dont warn me of anything now ban me from AIDSMEDS with your magic wand! Good god over 12 THOUSAND postings, GET A JOB you seem to have no life other than this forum. Help contribute rather than just take from the system. I'm talking tax money here not nuggets of so called wisdom.

« Last Edit: Today at 07:31:10 pm by CJWAUS »

Uh, dur, I'm a site administrator. I'm supposed  to be here looking after things.

::)
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 02:35:23 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #28 on: June 16, 2009, 02:34:47 PM »
Thank you Ann --

Mouse --  You are an inspiration to so many people and no matter how you get your surgery I hope you can get it soon and be the true you!!


Hugs,
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline Ann

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2009, 02:47:11 PM »
CJ,

Your time out is now a permanent ban for creating a new account (SEAPOZ), against our forum rules.

End of the hijack for once and for all. Sorry about this Mouse.

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fearless

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #30 on: June 16, 2009, 06:59:11 PM »
And they are comments from someone who supposedly admires you Mouse.

I can only imagine the sort of crap you have to put up on a regular basis.

I hope the surgery happens for you shortly.

All the best
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline BT65

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Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #31 on: June 16, 2009, 08:29:38 PM »
You're a very brave soul, Jaser.  You don't need to explain to anyone.

I'm thinking about you. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Oh my God.
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2009, 05:00:29 AM »
Jase,
Sorry you had to deal with that ignoramus. He just does not get shit.

I'm proud of the way you have handled yourself the past few years.

Ann_ thanks so much for a fantastic decision to get rid of that shortsighted person(Bites  tongue)

Way to hang tough Jase!
Positive since 1985

 


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