Main Forums > Living With HIV

How do you "shop" for a therapist?

(1/3) > >>

Dan J.:
I have my first meeting on the 16th @ 9:30 AM. I don't know this woman from jack. I want a therapist I can relate to. It may seem like I am making light of a serious subject but I have Progressive Insurance and I like to "comparison shop". If anyone can give some advice on finding a "good one' please let me know.

Laughing is better than crying.


Hello Dan,

I really don't know the answer to that question, as I have never been to a therapist. But, until you meet with her, try to think of positive results. it seems that you are possibly looking on the downside, before you even have your first visit.

From what I understand, sometimes you may have to shop around, for the one special person that you will be able to relate to. Give yourself a chance...

Good Luck/ hope things work out-----------Ray

Trial and error. I hate to sound so simplistic. But You know with in the first 5 minutes if you are comfortable with some one.
I went through 4 therapists be fore I found one I liked.
One thing you may want to think about is age. I am 49, and found that seeing someone in their 20's and 30's was next to useless. So for me, experience and age played a huge roll. It is a highly personal thing as you know. Anyway best of luck. I thinks it really smart of you to be reaching out. I have highly benefited to seeing a shrink. I would recommend it  to anyone with out hesitation.
I wish you the best! Good for you!

Joe K:

I suggest you approach your therapist with goals that you have for yourself.  If you need to write them down and then discuss your goals and see what the therapist suggests as how to reach those goals.  To be fair, you should really commit to a few sessions with him/her to experience their style of treatment, unless you don't agree with it, or you just don't click.

This is a very personal choice and there is no right or wrong.  You either feel comfortable or you don't and if you don't feel comfortable then you will have little faith in their ability to help you.  I also don't buy all this regression therapy where you try and discover why it is you feel how you feel today, because to me, it's like who cares?  I want to deal with my issues today and I don't care how I got here, I just need helping in moving forward.

Just be open and honest and realize they are not there to judge you.  My therapist is both neg and straight and none of it matters.  However a few years ago, after I left an abusive relationship I had a gay male therapist and that really made a difference.

Therapists are trained to deal with these issues so just go with your gut.  If you just don't like them or agree with their suggestions, then just move on, they will not take it personally and if they do, then they are certainly not the one for you.

I know a gay guy who actually cherishes the fact that his therapist is straight. See my point? Everyone is unique and different and like Joe said there's no right or wrong  - it's case by case. There's value in going with the trial run approach. There's also value in being decisive quickly, i.e., if you don't like someone, y'know, you just feel it, you know? 


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version