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Author Topic: Really Worried  (Read 7600 times)

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Offline mark79

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Really Worried
« on: May 21, 2009, 05:43:26 AM »
On the 7th April, went over to a guys place who i have known for about 2 years have not seen him in a year though.  He rimmed me and fingered me and we kissed etc and fucked each other all safe, have always had safe anal sex with him. know him
 
Anyway went over his last Wednesday and did the same, since this even I have found out that he has been HIV positive for 6 months, only found out on the Friday after, and when I found out went immediately to the Hospital and spoke to the health advisor and said that I wanted PEP, they didnít want to give it to me, but I said that he cum in my mouth (which he didnít) so they said I could have it, because also of my anxiety.
 
I am just worried that;
 
1.     I sucked him off, but he didnít cum
2.     He had a cold, does this mean he is more susceptible at passing on the illness
3.     That I had my finger deep in his arse and fingered him but no cuts on my fingers
4.     That he rimmed me and was spitting on my arse, how about if his spit got into my arse or a cut?



5.     That after he f**ked me and made me cum, he put a condom on me and because I was still hard I f**ked him. To keep me hard he put his finger inside my arse and fingered me a bit.

When I got home there  was a small tear just inside my bum   probably from him f**king me. I am just thinking that if he got precum (dont remember any) or a bit of anal mucus on his finger (cus he put lube inside his arse) and then touched the small tear then I may have been put at risk! He said that he does not precum at all and there was lube and stuff and he came on my chest that was wiped off with a towel
 
He has told me that he has been on meds for 6 months since he found out and has been undetectable for 3 Ė 4 months, the last test which showed he was undetectable was last month.

The main thing that worries me is number 5 above and the cut in my arse

I suffer with serve anxiety regarding HIV so this is probably the worst thing that can happen to me.

Please help!!!

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2009, 05:50:25 AM »
Mark,

Good luck with that PEP that YOU DO NOT NEED! I hope they explained all the possible side-effects to you. As someone who lives in the UK, I think it's reprehensible that you lied to get PEP. Do you have any idea how much that's costing the NHS?

You did the right thing in using a condom for intercourse. Condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv infection. And forget about your worst-case scenario of something getting on your sore anus. Hiv transmission simply does not happen that way.

As for oral, unless your oral health is absolutely terrible, you weren't at risk giving a blowjob, and even more so as he did not cum in your mouth. Oral transmission is theoretical at best - and GETTING a blowjob is no risk for hiv whatsoever.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TESTING - OR PEP, FOR THAT MATTER - OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mark79

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2009, 07:24:56 AM »
Ann

Thanks for the reply, I know that what I did was stupid and lie to get it, but I have a massive anxiety issue surrounding HIV and well went into a panic when I found out, I do know how much it costs the NHS, and suppose when you put it like that maybe I should be ashamed. I dont know

As you answered the main thing I am worried about is the small tear that I noticed when I got home just on the inside of my arse. If he did have something on his finger this would be able to get in wouldn it.

Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2009, 08:08:55 AM »
Mark,

It wouldn't matter if some cum from his finger did get onto your tear. Hiv is a very fragile, difficult to transmit virus. It needs very specific conditions in order for it to be successfully transmitted and it is only successfully transmitted when it remains INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal  intercourse. When hiv finds itself outside the body - such as in cum on a finger - small changes in temperature, pH levels and moisture content quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

If you suffer that greatly from hiv anxiety, NHS money would be better spend on counseling and perhaps anti-anxiety meds for you. When I brought up the subject of how much your UNNECESSARY PEP is costing the NHS, I didn't want you to feel shame, I just wanted you to stop and think about the wider impact of what your doing. I don't think feelings of shame, where anything to do with sex is concerned, are useful. Saying that, I also don't expect you to feel proud that you lied to get a totally UNNECESSARY treatment either. The doctor knew what s/he was talking about when they initially refused you PEP. You DO NOT NEED IT!

As long as you're making sure condoms are being used, and used correctly for anal intercourse, whether you're top or bottom, you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned. Really. I don't want you to end up hiv positive any more than you do. I hope you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can ensure you're using them correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks and intact condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. I'm quite sure in all those couples there have been instances of cum getting onto anal or vaginal tears or abrasions - with no infections resulting.  If what you're worried about was a realistic mode of transmission, we'd know about it by now. It's not. End of story.

Ann
« Last Edit: May 21, 2009, 08:11:50 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2009, 08:10:41 AM »
HIV is not passed through fingering or rimming, so that "tear" in your anus wouldn't have put you at risk.  

You would be better advised to see a therapist or other professional about your HIV fears than taking PEP, a very strong treatment which you totally don't need.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2009, 07:01:11 AM »
Andy & Ann

Thanks for all your time and advice, I have continued taking the PEP. I know you both think it's not needed. Over the past few days I have had a bit of a tight chest, this could be due to my allergies coming into force but am worried that it's me seroconverting!

I am thinking about the exposure and what happened most of the day, everyday.and it's making me I'll.

 Does PEP stop someone producing anti-bodies, and could I test mid way through PEP

Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2009, 07:07:49 AM »
Mark,

You're not seroconverting - you didn't have a risk.

When there has been a risk and PEP is being taken, a conclusive result can be obtained at three months past the last dose of PEP.

It won't matter when you test as you did NOT have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mark79

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2009, 03:41:39 PM »
I don't want to repeat myself and know the responses are much more factual than the information I know but was reading you 'hiv trasmission lesson' and in the last paragraph of the oral-penile section it says that there have been cases of transmission in msm

I am not trying to question your helpful information just wondered.

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2009, 03:52:41 PM »
Listen Mark, the reality is that anytime you have sex with other than your own hand there is "theoretically" risk for HIV transmission.

But in the real world of HIV we know that it happens in a very specific and limited number of ways: unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

Oral sex is one of the most common of sexual acts. Could transmission happen that way? Sure if say there is extremely poor oral care and some other factors come together. But the item you picked up is talking about something that is rare beyond rare. As far as I am concerned you are worrying needlessly.

If you're going to torture yourself about this then go ahead an get tested at 6 weeks to collect the inevitable negative result. You can repeat that at 13 weeks and collect another negative. But I am only suggesting that for your peace of mind and not because I see yours as having been a genuine risk for transmission.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2009, 02:09:26 PM »
Hi

Not trying to get a time out, just trying to get through this period and appreciate your help & advice

Just thinking over what happened 3 weeks ago. Anyway the day after I noticed a small tiny ulcer on the tip of my tongue, if this was there at the time when I gave the positive guy oral sex and ore cum got into it would this be a risk, is it true also that your tonsils can be a transmission route

As I have said I am on PEP for nearly 3 weeks now, since the second week I have had at time had to take my asthma inhalers due to a tight chest. Could this be the PEP, stress, or something to do with the encounter I had.

As I have said and from previous posts am just finding it so hard to get through this.

Mark

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2009, 03:40:02 PM »
As far as I am concerned you never needed to be on PEP over this incident. You manipulated the situation by lying to make that happen which is reprehensible when it's something really driven by your anxiety and not a genuinely risky situation.

We cannot diagnose why you might be having tightness in your chest. Discuss it with your doctor.

Obviously you're unfortunately continuing to come up with more worrisome thoughts. We've already evaluated your situation and given our opinons about it. There's really nothing more for us to say. You have chosen the route you want to take. I guess all you can do is wait, get tested and collect the inevitable negative result. If you're worried about symptoms talk to your doctor.

And yes, if you keep coming back here for more handholding about the same situation you are going to end up getting a 28 day time out.
Andy Velez

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help!!!!
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2009, 04:28:42 PM »
TonyY, I see you are going on and on, about this no risk issue.

Offline mark79

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Worried!
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2009, 06:38:35 PM »
Hi there

Have been here before, so not going to say I haven't, just a bit of advice would be good.

Met up with this guy on Tuesday last week, asked him before we had sex about his STD history, know you cant go on that, but ask him. Anyway he said he tests every 3 months, and he was all clear for everything.

So anyway we kissed and performed oral on eachother not lasting that long, then we both performed protected anal on eachother and he cum inside the condom.

Talking to him the next day, we was just talking about things, and he said he has been single for 5 months, but at 1 time was getting tested every month as his bf was HIV+ and they had a few slip ups. But he still said he was all clear in relation to STD's and said he would have told me if there was anything to be concerned about. His advice was to be protected like every person has HIV.

As before though I am worried about the oral part of things.

Do you think I have anything to worry about or need to test

Thanks
« Last Edit: October 26, 2009, 06:53:13 PM by mark79 »

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2009, 06:44:28 PM »
I also forgot to mention that the Thursday after I got like abdo pains and have felt nausea at various times

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2009, 07:07:51 PM »
Mark,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




You should know from your time here last spring that nothing you did or had done to you with this latest guy put you at risk for hiv infection. Even if he IS hiv positive, you didn't have a risk.

Your abdominal pains have nothing to do with hiv as you didn't have a risk. If you continue to feel unwell, go see your GP.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2009, 04:16:12 PM »
Merry Christmas to you all.

Just wanted to ask a question regarding risk

I have been seeing a guy and drove over to his place, with the cold weather had dry chapped lips which I had bitten a little so may have cut a bit. About an hour later we performed oral sex on eachother no precum or cum. I have asked him his status and he said he is negative.

Just wanted to see if there was a risk

Mark

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2009, 04:26:30 PM »
No risk.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #17 on: December 26, 2009, 04:49:24 PM »
You've been coming here long enough to be up on what is risky and what isn't. Read our lesson on Transmission. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse. Use condoms for those activities consistently and you will be well protected. It's really as simple as that. Everything else is only risky theoretically.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2010, 05:35:04 PM »
Hi there

I know have asked a lot for information, so in advance I thank you for your time.

Went out for a drink with a guy on the 12th and we went back to his, and kissed, had some oral sex and I had protected anal sex with him me being top. I did ask him before about his status and he said he was negative tested 3 weeks ago.

This Friday gone, he said if I would be bottom which I agreed to, and he didn't go to get condoms, I insisted on him using condoms, so he went to his drawer to get some. He was putting on the condom and he said he lost his erection but was still trying to get the condom on. So sorry to be blunt, but I was on my back and he went to proceed to have anal sex with me. As he was about to enter me, I felt down to check if he had a condom on and he didn't, so I pushed him back and said 'you dont have the condom on' and pushed him away immediately. I am sure he didnt not penetrate me, but think he may have pushed against my anus and not entered.  but I am now paranoid that if he did enter me that I have had a huge risk. There was no ejeculate or pre cum present, I had lube on my anus.

As I was quite upset regarding this I asked him again of his status and he said negative but whilst talking to him I got the impression that he doesn't always use condoms.

Should I consider PEP if I have had a risk.

Thanks for your time.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2010, 06:17:13 PM »
He didn't penetrate you anally and as such you didn't have a risk for HIV. In my opinion PEP is not warranted here, nor even HIV testing.

You did the right thing by insisting that he use condoms and refusing him anal sex when he tried to fuck you bare.

I would offer one piece of advice, stop asking people their HIV status. You've got no way of telling if they're being truthful when they say they're negative. Provided you always use condoms for anal and vaginal sex it won't matter if a person is HIV positive or otherwise.

MtD

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2010, 06:24:35 PM »
Thanks Matty,

I am not going to keep asking you to clarify stuff, but if he did just enter a little would PEP be warranted. even if like just pushing and it a little, it would only have been seconds if he did at all. I am sure he didnt, but cannot be sure.

I did insist him use a condom but think he may have just put it to one side because putting them on was stopping him getting hard.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2010, 06:30:42 PM »
Thanks Matty,

I am not going to keep asking you to clarify stuff, but if he did just enter a little would PEP be warranted. even if like just pushing and it a little, it would only have been seconds if he did at all. I am sure he didnt, but cannot be sure.

I did insist him use a condom but think he may have just put it to one side because putting them on was stopping him getting hard.



PEP isn't warranted because you were not at risk of being infected. PEP is usually only prescribed where a person can demonstrate a clear risk of infection - eg having unprotected anal or vaginal sex with a person known to be HIV positive or sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes with a person known to be HIV positive.

MtD

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #22 on: March 27, 2010, 01:37:40 PM »
My worry is that if he pushed against my arse or went in just a little (maybe top of thumb, if that) this would have been a high risk incident. All I knew was that he had a condom on as I had asked him three times to use condoms and think that when he went to have sex with me as he was having trouble keeping it on he just took it off. As I am so paranoid about safer sex when I felt down to check his penis for the condom, and found out it wasn't there I pushed him away.

To my knowledge there was no precum (as he doesn't get precum, he used some of mine for lubricant later on) and there was definitely no cum.




Offline RapidRod

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #23 on: March 27, 2010, 03:10:35 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #24 on: March 27, 2010, 04:08:44 PM »
You're essentially talking about another WHAT IF but NOT REALLY A RISK incident.

It seems as if you have a lot of anxiety around having sex. Instead of coming here everytime about your latest incident you would be better advised to see a counselor or other professional to discuss your feelings about this issue. We can't help you with that in this setting. But I can tell you that you're going to find yourself getting a Time Out for 28 days if you continue to show up regularly as you have.

It's up to you to apply the information that's been given to you several times to new situations as they arise rather than expecting to give you special and repeated attention. As a sexually active adult you need to behave responsibly about protecting your health yourself.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #25 on: August 30, 2010, 08:33:06 AM »
Hi

I don't know if this will earn me a time out and I know I have a problem with HIV anxiety which I am currently seeking professional counselling to try and sort out.

I just wanted your advice on a instance, apologise for asking I would have contacted my doctor but its bank holiday here in the UK. So appreciate any advice you can offer.

On Saturday morning I was with a guy (Before we did anything I asked him if he had been tested and was negative, he said he was) and we did not do anything apart from a little oral sex and we was playing with each others nipples, and kiss quite roughly. This involved twisting the nipples quite hard and biting them a little. When I was biting his I am not sure if I tasted a little blood in my mouth, as I could taste an iron taste. it would have only been a little bit, but I am worried as when I looked in my mouth for any cuts or lesions the next day and all I could see was a healed gum bite, this was not fresh but looked like it had healed. 

I have contacted the guy concerned the following day and he said that he was in a monogamous relationship for 10 months and he and his bf tested negative for everything and after he split with him 3 weeks ago I was the first person he had done anything with.

I just wanted your assessment on risk please.

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #26 on: August 30, 2010, 08:41:55 AM »
Listen Mark, the issue of safer sex is really not a complicated one. All you have to do is always use a condom for either anal or vaginal sex and you will be well and effectively protected.

Everything else sexual is only theoretically risky. Your latest incident would not have been a risk even if you had tasted blood when you bit on his nipples. Your saliva acts a very effective deterrent against the transmission of viable HIV.

You are worrying needlessly. There's no need for testing nor for further concern on your part.

And by the way, asking someone if they are negative is understandable but what the person says in response should never be the basis on which you make choices about what you do sexually. Always use condoms for intercourse. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #27 on: August 30, 2010, 08:46:16 AM »
Thanks Andy

I know I have been a pain in the bum to yourself, Ann and RapidRod, but just wanted to say thank you for always taking the time to reply.

Yes some of what you say can be harsh at times, but you say it straight and you have made me realise that I need to sort my anxiety out.

Thanks for all your time

Mark

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #28 on: August 30, 2010, 04:42:42 PM »
OK. Take a breath and get on with your life. And use those condoms when they are necessary.

Best to you.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #29 on: April 23, 2012, 03:41:24 PM »
Hi

I have a huge anxiety of HIV which really controls my life.

On Saturday I met a guy and before we did anything I asked him his status which he said was negative (I know you cant go on what someone tells you)

I now do not have anal sex unless I am in a relationship but with this guy on Saturday he came over mine and we performed oral sex. I sucked him and he sucked me, there wasn't any precum. I then cum on his stomach and he cum, What is worrying my is that some of his cum may have got on my arse. I wiped some off my bum cheek which doesn't worry me. But after he left I went to the toilet when I looked there was what looked like cum with the stool, this could have been mucus from my rectum but I dont know or from when he rimmed me maybe it was his spit. I am just worried that it could have been cum near my arsehole. I also am a bit worried as I used some hair removal cream on my arse and this had made it somewhat irritated and if cum got near that.

Also just thinking if I wiped my arse then I could have pushed the cum in if there was cum

I know his penis didnt enter my arse at all and there was no penetration

Do you think I need to get tested?

Thanks for your advice

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #30 on: April 23, 2012, 04:00:43 PM »
No, you do not need to get tested. Nothing you have described put you at risk for HIV. HIV is a fragile virus and is not passed in any of those ways.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms for those activities and you will be well protected. It really is just that simple.
Andy Velez

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #31 on: April 23, 2012, 04:02:00 PM »
Thanks Andy

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #32 on: April 23, 2012, 04:07:09 PM »
You're welcome.

On with your life now...
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #33 on: April 24, 2012, 05:21:03 AM »
Mark,

I agree with Andy that you don't need to get tested over this specific incident. You should, however, be having yearly routine, complete, sexual health check ups. It's what responsible, sexually active adults do to protect themselves and their partners. Re-read my very first reply to you.

Although it has nothing to do with hiv, I would suggest that you make sure any hair removal products you use are ones that are meant to be used on the genital/anal area , rather than the legs/body. Yes, there is a difference. You don't need to have an irritated anal area because let's face it, an irritated anus tends to turn people into irritated assholes. Don't do that to yourself. I'd recommend waxing or good old fashioned shaving. And what's wrong with hair anyway? It's there for a reason.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2012, 03:42:37 PM »
Thanks for all your advice but I'm still very worried and anxious about this

How about if his cum did get on my anus and then I wiped my arse and I pushed some inside as I wiped. How far does the cum need to get inside when it becomes a problem? Are we talking deep inside?

I am definite we didn't have penetrative sex, but if cum got on my anus isn't that just like being penetrated.

I was so worried that I went and paid for a HIV RNA PCR test here in London, am still waiting on the result.



Offline RapidRod

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2012, 04:08:23 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2012, 05:27:09 PM »
HIV is a fragile virus. Even IF it was present in the situation you are concerned about, it would not have been transmitable in a viable form in that incident.

There is no need for further concern nor for HIV testing. Cut it out and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2012, 09:06:08 PM »
Thanks for all your advice but I'm still very worried and anxious about this

How about if his cum did get on my anus and then I wiped my arse and I pushed some inside as I wiped. How far does the cum need to get inside when it becomes a problem? Are we talking deep inside?

I am definite we didn't have penetrative sex, but if cum got on my anus isn't that just like being penetrated.

I was so worried that I went and paid for a HIV RNA PCR test here in London, am still waiting on the result.





You wasted your cash. No way would HIV remain viable outside of your body long enough to be wiped inside your anus and infect. It's simply to fragile for that.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #38 on: September 02, 2012, 08:40:42 AM »
Hi

Thanks for all your advice in the past, and I know I am a messed up loser so forgive me before I start.

Last Sunday met some guys in a bar and we had drinks. At the end of the night I went back to their place and we all got undressed on the sofa and the guys sucked me and we wanked and we kissed and I sucked one of the guys for about a minute. He didnt cum in my mouth. we just wanked off and I came on my chest and he came on his chest.

I am so worried so went to the doc and have a HIV Duo test and that was negative and tomorrow am going to go and have a HIV RNA PCR test which shows after 10 days.

Sorry to bother you just worried,


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #39 on: September 02, 2012, 08:51:27 AM »
You never had a risk and didn't need testing.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child


Offline mark79

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #40 on: September 03, 2012, 03:25:16 PM »
Hi

I went and had a HIV test today as really worried. All I can think about is how stupid I have been.

Have you ever come across anyone who became HIV positive through oral sex?

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried!
« Reply #41 on: September 04, 2012, 04:23:25 AM »
Mark,

People might claim to have been infected through oral, but it rarely stands up under close scrutiny. Unless your oral health is absolutely terrible you're worrying unnecessarily, once again. (google "meth mouth" for an example of what I mean by terrible oral health - I don't mean gums that bleed for a minute after brushing.)

Re-read your entire thread. We've already discussed the oral issue with you.

And I see you still have a penchant for wasting precious NHS funds. Even if you DID have a risk - which you did NOT - testing now for something that happened only over a week ago is useless. I hope you didn't lie again about your risk to get PCR testing. Under the NHS they will only use PCR testing when there has been a definite risk, such as being the receptive partner during UNprotected anal or vaginal intercourse when the insertive partner is known to be hiv positive.

As I suggested to you three years ago, NHS funds would be better used if you got yourself a referral to a therapist so you can get to the bottom of your irrational fears, instead of lying to get unnecessary and expensive PEP and unnecessary and expensive tests.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mark79

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Really Worried
« Reply #42 on: December 02, 2013, 07:34:37 PM »
Hi

Thanks for taking the time to read and answer my post

On Friday I went out with a guy and we got really drunk (bad I know)

We went back to where he was staying in a hostel and we slept in the single bed, we had to be quiet as there were 6 other people in the room.

I know I performed oral sex on him in the morning and he didn't cum but my worry is that because I was so drunk would I have known if we had anal sex. My worry is that I have and didn't realise that his penis was in me.

I never have anal sex unless it's with condoms

Sorry am very worried

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Really Worried
« Reply #43 on: December 02, 2013, 07:48:39 PM »
Its doubtful that you were penetrated and didn't know it , I cant imagine that you would not have known . The bottom line is if you are not sure if you had unprotected anal sex how would you expect us to shed any light on it .

If you are not sure then go test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results . Get checked out for all stds because some can linger without symptoms and are much easier to get than HIV . Use condoms correctly every time you have vaginal or anal sex and you will avoid HIV .

It may be a good idea to not use drugs or alcohol in excess if you plan on having sex .

Offline Ann

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Re: Really Worried
« Reply #44 on: December 03, 2013, 07:11:00 AM »
Mark,

Once again, I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




I also can't imagine that you would not have known if you were anally penetrated. It's a very noticeable type of event.

Please re-read your entire thread.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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