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Author Topic: please help! very concerned  (Read 1627 times)

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Offline Worried307

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please help! very concerned
« on: May 18, 2009, 07:58:19 PM »
Hi, i'm a male and i recently had intercourse with a female sex worker which i deeply regret. This happenned in the beginning of May (2009). I am very concerned about STD transmission, in particular HIV. Here is what i know from what SHE told me:

- She is "clean", as in desease free and gets tested for all diseases apparently every 3 months, including hiv. Last time 1 month ago = no diseases.
- Been doing this job for the last 5 months, and she is very clean, if she sees "anything wierd", she refuses any sort of intercourse.
- She's a smoker (cigarettes) and she smoked at the time we were together. Acted normally, dont think she's doing any drugs.
- Told me she doesnt have any bruises or cuts in her mouth, and her gums as fine. I personally didnt see any blood anywhere or puss dripping.
- She used another form of protection for herself which she inserted before i came, im not sure if it was a diaphragm, or a cervical cap, with spermicide she said.

Info about me: no drugs or medication, no other risky contacts of any sort ever before this, no health problems.

There was 2 types of contact:

1) Vaginal = WITH a condom + lubricant (Lifestyles brand, not expired, package opened with fingers, not teeth) for approximately 1 minute. the condom did not rip, i looked at it after. ( Are micro-rips possible? )

2) Oral ("her to me" ONLY) two times for about 1 minute each time = NO condom.

I'm very concerned and i scheduled for a RAPID test in 7 weeks. Some websites say that after 7 weeks post possible exposure the test is only 97% accurate VS 99% of accuracy after 12 weeks. Should i take the test again if its negative?

Its been about a week already: no weird symptoms, but anxiety +++ (a bit of liquid bowels but im sure that its caused by that)

What is my risks of hiv transmission? what about others STD's? Should i be really really concerned? 

All the info you can give me, i'd really appreciate. Thank you so much.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2009, 08:03:26 PM »
You didn't have a risk of contracting HIV in the situations you've provided.

Offline Worried307

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  • Posts: 5
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2009, 08:17:12 PM »
Concerning the condom used, she put on the lubricant herself, but i didnt see what it was exactly. I think it was water based but i cannot be sure. after vaginal intercourse, the condom did not rip (i looked at it...it usually obvious when it rips right? or are microtears possible?). Basically, if the condom didnt seem ripped, does this mean it was "effective" despite the lubricant used?

The other question i had was...have you ever heard of people's negative result at week  7 or 8 turning into a positive result at 12 weeks or later?

Thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2009, 09:32:22 PM »
The condom didn't fail so there was no risk. No testing needed.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2009, 05:35:37 AM »
Worried,

I'm clean - I just got out of the shower and I shower every day. I'm also hiv positive. It's very offensive to use the word "clean" to describe a person's sexual health. Please don't use that word in that way here.

You've done the right thing and used a condom for intercourse. Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection with or without a condom, so no problem there.

As for your lube worries, sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you. She's not going to use any lube that would compromise the condom.

And just so you're aware, it's not just sex workers you need to use condoms with. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Worried307

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Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2009, 08:02:56 PM »
hey ann, thank you for your answer. and i'm sorry for using the term "clean", you're right, its not appropriate.

I just keep reading all these things about micro-rips in the condom...etc...have you heard of anyone in whom the condom failed and yet they used it properly? (did not break etc...)

As for oral...there are all sorts of replies, some people say no, some people say there is no documented cases...doctors say its very low risk (but not no risk...like 1 in 10 000) so i dont know.

You mentionned you're positive...do you know anyone from your experience who tested positive after 1 exposure? And then...how likely are CSW's to be HIV positive? (more info: the one i was with seemed to use the condom for vaginal sex regularly...she insisted on it. for oral, she did it without for more money...but i guess that not everyone who accepts to recieve without (stupid me). as for anal, she doesnt practice it ever she said).

Thanks for all the help.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2009, 05:10:31 AM »
Worried,

The whole "micro-rip" thing, or its variant, "micro-hole", are urban myths mainly put about by religious organisations who don't want you to trust or use condoms. The Pope and his minions, for example, are notorious for putting this myth out there. It's a myth - in other words, it's not true. Call it a lie instead of a myth, if you wish. I do.

As for oral, GETTING a blowjob is absolutely, positively NO RISK where hiv is concerned. GIVING a blowjob carries with it a theoretical risk. If you have very poor oral health, you 'd be wise to refrain from giving anyone a blowjob, but the risk is still theoretical. The confusion lies in the fact that many websites do not distinguish between giving and receiving when talking about oral sex.

Not one person has ever been infected through GETTING a blowjob. Not one! You won't be the first, trust me.

I don't know a single person who became positive when they used condoms correctly and consistently. I don't know of a single insertive partner who became positive following a condom break either. (by the way, you were the insertive partner) When condoms break, it's obvious. They're designed that way. If yours had broken, you'd know it.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection in anything you brought to us.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Worried307

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2009, 07:37:42 PM »
hi, its been exactly 8 days and now i just feel like i caught a cold. first i had a sore throat and my flem is purulent (sputum). I dont think i have fever and i dont feel tired. I'm pretty convinced its a cold simply because i was in contact with 2 people recently who were suffering from one...

But, i was wondering if you guys can clarify a bit on the ARS...when they say you have a sore throat, fever, mono-type symptoms...is it all together? Is it consecutively? How bad is the sore throat usually? Are there some symptomes that NEED to be present to suspect ARS or it can be anything?

I heard that the ARS cannot happen before 2 to 4 weeks post exposure...but i'm just wondering what it really is. I think a lot of people are. Thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2009, 07:45:05 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Worried307

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2009, 10:46:29 PM »
Hi, this is my last post i promise. Id really appreciate your feedback on thiis. I did read from many of your replies that condoms dont have holes, but I heard that latex condoms can get "denatured" if one uses oil based lubricants.

As i didnt supply the lubricant in my scenario, and since i dont know which one it was and im really worried.

The condom was not broken when i pulled out and hence i'm wondering:

1) Does denature mean = condom breaking visibly to the human eye? or does it mean = microscopic tears?

2) Would one feel/see the difference between a water based lubricant and one thats not?

Thank you again, i promise this is my last question.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: please help! very concerned
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2009, 10:56:12 PM »
When a condom breaks it's not a subtle thing and it's not about teeny weenie little holes. The whole thing goes and ends up looking like a fringed hoop on the penis.

If it had failed you would have known it no matter what kind of lube was used. For future reference you want to always be sure to use water-based.

You are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

 


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