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Author Topic: Am I going to be the first?  (Read 7425 times)

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Offline volcano

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Am I going to be the first?
« on: April 13, 2009, 06:07:48 AM »
Three weeks ago I visited a massage parlour.  Had protected oral, vaginal and anal sex but unprotected rimming, both giving and receiving.  She may also have fingered me using her fingers which had been inside her vagina and anus.  Also I finished off by masturbating using the hand which I had used to finger her vagina and anus.  My foreskin was also red and a little sore through previous bouts of masturbation.

3 weeks later I now have developed an upset stomach (although it began to feel  odd a couple of days later), some diarrhoea, feel like I want to puke all the time.  I have sore  glands under my arms and in my groin area.  My ankles feel sore, as do my heels.


Am I going to rewrite history and contract HIV through these actions, because I feel awful and am pretty frightened?

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2009, 06:16:38 AM »
Volcano,

NO, you are NOT "going to be the first" to become infected with hiv in any of the ways you're worrying about.

NOTHING you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection. Protected intercourse is just that - protected. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

Fingering, no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it (vaginal fluids, cuts, etc) is not a risk and neither is any sort of masturbation.

Rimming is also NOT a risk for hiv infection. However, it IS a risk for gastro-intestinal bugs, so if your stomach feels bad and you're having diarrhea, you should be checked out by a doctor.

As far as symtpoms and hiv go, neither symptoms nor the LACK of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. Only testing, at the appropriate time, will.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV OVER THIS ENCOUNTER, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2009, 06:36:59 AM »
Ann
Thank you for your rapid and full reply.  It has made me feel a lot better.  People such as yourself perform a fantastic service and I am very grateful that you give your time to this cause.

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2009, 07:15:38 AM »
Volcano,

You're welcome. Remember to get checked out for intestinal bugs and parasites if your stomach-ache and diarrhea persist. It's common to get something like that following rimming. (For the person doing the rimming, not the person being rimmed.)

And don't forget about using condoms with anyone  and having regular routine sexual health check-ups, and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2009, 10:19:45 AM »
Aaargh!  When I first came on here, I wondered why people keep returning to their posts, despite being given definitive advice about their risk situation.

Now I understand.  The worries keep getting to me - the way my symptoms really kicked in on the 19th day, the possibility that my stool sample - I went to the doctors as suggested about my stomach upset - might show nothing, the fact that the diarrhoea has gone yet I've still got an upset stomach that rumbles all the time.  All of these seem to keep telling me that I am facing seroconversion.

I reread Ann's reply to my question at least 5 times a day to give me the courage I need to keep going but it is difficult.  So for those others out there, you now have my sympathy - I know how you feel. 

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2009, 03:58:51 PM »
I got my stool sample tests back today - it was tested for bacterial infection.  Nothing was found.  I'm really beginning to panic now, while the nausea nad stomach rumbling continues.  I do occasionally have bleeding gums after brushing my teeth and I have a mild form of angular cheilitis also.  Could these have facilitated transmission through rimming?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2009, 04:31:34 PM »
Fortunately feelings aren't facts so no matter how much doubt you are experiencing it still doesn't change the facts as far as risk for HIV. And yours was zero based on the details you have reported.

If you continue to have troubling symptoms you need to pursue resolving that problem with your doctor. Rimming can put you at risk for various things including parasites as the anus is the germiest orifice of the body. But rimming is absolutely NOT a risk for HIV transmission. Including with your poor oral care and whatever else you're tossing into the worry mix.

And nothing you are reporting is in any way HIV specific.

Cheers. 
Andy Velez

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2009, 04:22:07 PM »
Thanks Andy for your reply. 

I'm sick of sitting here still with a rumbling stomach, nausea and sore glands and dealing with a health system that is so slow.  I'm really tempted to take an HIV test next week to settle my anxiety- it will be six weeks after the encounter.  At the same time, I'm terrified and the 12 week test then seems  a comfortingly long way off.  I'm sure you get this contradictory crap all the time but I would appreciate any advice.  Thanks in advance for your patience with yet another confused worrier.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2009, 04:32:26 PM »
Confusion? There's no confusion here. You didn't do anything which put you at risk for HIV. If you decide to get tested and collect the inevitable negative result(s) that's strictly for peace of mind and not because you did anything risky that warrants your getting tested.

The "symptoms" you refer to are in no way HIV-related and are something to discuss with your doctor.

You're the one who is creating confusion and making this a complicated situation when there is no basis for it. At least certainly not for hanging on to HIV as a problem for you. We've told you what we can tell you. There's really nothing more to add.

Test or don't test, that's strictly up to you. Aside from any other possible cause of your symptoms, stress can easily provoke everything you have reported thus far.
Andy Velez

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2009, 04:55:12 PM »
Andy

Thanks for your time, advice and the straight-talking. I will take heed of what you say. I appreciate all that you and the team do on here to help us  anxious and illogical ones. 

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2009, 04:08:11 PM »
I have just read Azprince's account of his infection which he thinks is down to rimming.  I am at a really low ebb now as I still have swollen glands and a rumbling stomach.  I went to the doctors and they are going to send a stool sample for parasite infection but I can't find anywhere on the net where it says giardia can cause swollen glands.  I'm convinced I'm facing the worst but am frightened to test.  Alos I can't speak of this to anyone and it is driving me nuts.  Help!!!!!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2009, 04:57:40 PM »
Azprince's unsubstantiated and incomplete report(s) notwithstanding, you aren't going to make history by having become infected through rimming someone. Not even if blood was pouring out of their anus while you did it, which is highly unlikely as well.

You're going to come out of this ok in spite of the fears you mind continues to come up with.   
Andy Velez

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2009, 01:38:11 PM »
Thank you Andy.  I have booked a test for HIV next Thursday.  I had a negative test one week after exposure but that was just part of the check-up they give you at the clinic.  They explained very clearly that it did not pick up my status in relation to this incident. 

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2009, 01:39:13 PM »
Sorry I should have said that the date of the test will be 9 weeks after exposure

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2009, 02:05:13 PM »
Your negative result is a slam dunk. The average time to seroconversion iss 22 days. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a genuine risk, which I hasten to add you didn't have.

But obviously you feel the need to test for your peace of mind. Good enough. Collect the negative result I expect and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2009, 11:51:14 AM »
I got my stool sample test for parasites - negative.  I'm now sure I've got HIV as I can't see what else could be causing my stomach grumbling and swollen glands after 6 weeks.  I then see on Med help that azprince was convinced he got HIV from kissing only and didn't mention rimming.  I don't know what to think.

Also what does DR Bob mean by no documented or reported cases through rimming?  What does documented or reproted mean

As you can see I'm freaking out before my test on Thursday


Can u advise, Ann?

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2009, 02:10:00 PM »
Volcano,

azprince didn't get infected with hiv through kissing and neither did you. You didn't get it from rimming either. Whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with hiv.

No documented or reported cases of infection via rimming means it's never happened. And no, you're not going to be the first and neither is that other guy. It simply does not happen that way.

Keep posting about this NO RISK incident and you'll be given a time out. If you've the Welcome thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2009, 03:14:17 PM »
Ann and Andy

I hope it is OK to post this one.

Today I tested negative on 4th generation HIV Duo test, at 9 weeks 2 days after the exposure.

I am bracing myself for 2 rather emphatic 'I told you so's' from you both.  Thank you both for your support and patience as I got more and more freaked out by the results of my other medical tests.

Am I done testing now, as I haven't really got my head round the intricacies of these tests and their relationship to the window period?


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2009, 03:24:36 PM »
Yes, you are DONE testing. You never needed to test at all because as you were told repeatedly, you never did anything that put you at risk.

Don't mistake this response for being an invitation to continue the back and forth about a no-risk situation.

Hopefully you will accept the validity of your negative test result and will just get on with your life.

Andy Velez

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2009, 10:29:55 AM »
I've done it again.  Sorry guys.  To cut  a long story short, I slightly tore my frenulum during protected sex with CSW and then finished by taking off the durex and  rubbing my penis over her breasts.  She had touched her vagina with her hands and then touched her breasts, so there may have been vaginal fluids on her breasts.  I wouldn't have been bothered at all but for the slight nick in my frenulum.  It wasn't bleeding but it stung.  Did this put me at risk?

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2009, 11:07:57 AM »
Volcano,

Once again, nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection. The tear on your frenulum makes NO difference.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is only sexually transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus is never outside the confines of the two bodies. Once hiv finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. So, even if she's positive and even if there were vaginal fluids on her breasts, you had NO risk of transmission. NONE at all.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

And please, don't keep coming back with whatiffs concerning this latest NO RISK incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Depressed and puzzled
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2011, 04:33:17 PM »
I write this in a state of depression so please excuse me if I appear stupid.  Six weeks ago I had an unprotected blow job, rimming and some anal fingering from a CSW, who had touched her vaginal fluids.  Everything other than these three actions  was protected.  I wasn't expecting any comeback but within three days I had real testicle pain.  I got an STI test after 7 days - no issues - but then began to get really bad swollen glands in my groin, armpits and neck.  These were followed by muscle aches and a little joint pain.  I've had these for 5 weeks now and they are now beginning to subside a little.  I'm scared by the pains and I'm scared that they are subsiding, as ARS seems to work like this .   Can these be symptoms of HIV infection?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Depressed and puzzled
« Reply #22 on: December 27, 2011, 04:44:27 PM »
Posting Guidelines

■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #23 on: December 27, 2011, 05:30:04 PM »
First of all, I have merged your threads here. Please follow our rule and in the future write only in this same thread.

Once again you are worrying needlessly about HIV. Whatever is causing your uncomfortable symptoms has nothing to do with HIV. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

This is not an HIV situation and there is no need for HIV testing. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2011, 03:59:25 AM »
Volcano,

I would suggest you go back and retest for the OTHER sexually transmitted infections. You tested too early. Bacterial STIs can normally be picked up between ten days and two weeks after an incident, and they can be missed if tested for earlier.

While nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection, getting a blowjob can result in you being infected with bacterial infections like chlamydia or gonorrhea and yes, these bacterial infections can cause the symptoms you mention. They can also be present with no obvious symptoms (and sometimes the symptoms disappear), so testing is the only way to know for sure.

You do NOT need to test for hiv unless it is a routine, yearly test that any sexually active adult should have.

Please re-read your entire thread for an hiv refresher course.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2012, 07:33:20 AM »
Hi Guys

I swore to myself I would not be back but I was too presumptive when I said the symptoms were fading. They have continued to hurt like hell, at night especially, and I also now have had some diarrhoea and a mouth with a yellow tongue and a foul taste. 

I have thought about my exposure and now realise that not only did I have a  sore anus - I get this quite often -but also a  uncircumcised penis, chafed from masturbation.  Lastly, and worst of all, I recall seeing a red line/mark on the CSW's tongue that could have been blood or a cut.  Surely this puts me at risk?

Given these facts, I am trying to build up courage to have a test, while I have the STD test you recommended.  WHich test would the best to take - an insti or a duo?

I'm sorry to bother you again but the anxiety really is getting to  me as I realise I have let down my family once again.



















Offline RapidRod

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2012, 07:34:34 AM »
Hi Guys

I swore to myself I would not be back but I was too presumptive when I said the symptoms were fading. They have continued to hurt like hell, at night especially, and I also now have had some diarrhoea and a mouth with a yellow tongue and a foul taste. 

I have thought about my exposure and now realise that not only did I have a  sore anus - I get this quite often -but also a  uncircumcised penis, chafed from masturbation.  Lastly, and worst of all, I recall seeing a red line/mark on the CSW's tongue that could have been blood or a cut.  Surely this puts me at risk?

Given these facts, I am trying to build up courage to have a test, while I have the STD test you recommended.  WHich test would the best to take - an insti or a duo?

I'm sorry to bother you again but the anxiety really is getting to  me as I realise I have let down my family once again.
Neither, you never had a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #27 on: January 03, 2012, 07:49:11 AM »
Volcano,

Just go to your local GUM clinic and use whatever hiv test they offer. You are unlikely to have a choice in the matter.

You only need to test for your peace of mind. Don't be surprised by your negative result.

None of the details you have added change our risk assessment - you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

If you continue to feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv. Keep in mind that there are plenty of seasonal bugs going around right now. It's that time of year.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline volcano

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2012, 01:11:52 PM »
For those who read the forums like me to calm their fears by seeing if people eventually do test negative etc, I took an HIV Duo test  at nine weeks and got a negative result as Ann, Andy and Rod suggested I would.  I was also advised, however,  to come back at 12 weeks for a fully conclusive test.

Meanwhile the symptoms persist.

Thanks to the above mentioned three for their  support so far.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #29 on: January 16, 2012, 01:29:36 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I going to be the first?
« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2012, 04:11:18 AM »
Volcano,

If your symptoms had anything to do with hiv, you would have tested positive at nine weeks.

You're not going to test positive at twelve weeks either. You did not have a risk for hiv infection.

If you continue to feel unwell, see your GP. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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