Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 22, 2014, 10:18:38 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 635757
  • Total Topics: 48233
  • Online Today: 240
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 5
Guests: 145
Total: 150

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: The truth about Oral  (Read 2761 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline forcer397

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
The truth about Oral
« on: April 05, 2009, 03:50:54 PM »
First off I just want to say Hi to everyone and who ever thought of or created this site to a very good thing. I discovered this site about three years ago, which ties into my story, but I just now decided to join up to post my words of encouragement to everyone and to talk about whatís been on my mind. I want to keep this story as short and simple as possible so here goes:

I am now 24 and about three years ago I was lonely, in college, and bi-curious; not a good combination. I like girls but they never seem to pay me any attention and the very few that did was not cute so this pushed me in the direction of experimenting with another male even more. I was toying with the idea of trying a sexual encounter with a guy for a while so I decided to join one of those adult friends hook up sites.

I was in ok physical shape and even though the girls didnít seem to care too much, the men went ga-ga for my pictures; every other email was, ďOh your so fine, you have a killer body, your so sexyĒ. For someone who has low self-esteem or isnít use to that kind of attention it can get to your head if your not careful. I grew up in the 90ís so thanks to the many STD/AIDS campaigns, I knew better than to hook up with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that showed me attention. Even though I wanted a casual encounter, I was looking for the right one.

Even though this was 2005 I couldnít believe how ignorant so many people on that site was. Some got mad if you brought up the issue of condoms, I couldnít believe the amount of people willing to either have me come over to their house or they come over to mine in the middle of the night after just saying Hi to me ONLINE, in everyone I talked to after a while of talking I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO BRING UP THE ISSUE OF SAFE SEX. One of the main things I took from safe sex campaigns is YOU have to be responsible for your own sexual health.

Anyway a few months go by and I meet this bi-guy and we got to talking and he seem to be the perfect fit. He told me he was a nurse in the Army, had a girl friend, only had one other same sex encounter, and wasnít into anal (but who knows people can tell you anything) either way he was in hella good shape and a date for sex was on.

Even though I knew about safe sex and heard about it, before my ďdateĒ I was looking into it again online. In terms of oral sex (which is the main reason I decided to post on here) everything I read said there was little to no risk of contracting HIV/AIDS through oral sex (this was my main concern). The term little risk still made me want to use flavored condoms for oral, but I wasnít absolutely resolved on this due to the little information, attention, and blasť attitude to oral sex safety and finally I thought to myself, ďwell in pornoís they donít practice safe oral so I guess its ok.Ē

The day came and I was nervous of course and the guy was cool except I think he lied about his age. Anyway, we jacked off for a while and then decided to oral and right before I was going to go down on him, I thought should I break out the flavored condoms? Then I thought no donít be stupid you went over all this, this dude gonna think your strange. So I goes down on him, he goes down on me. Then another moment of decision came (literally) he came in my mouth and I thought should I swallow it? Then I remembered the key to safe sex is TO NOT ALLOW THE OTHER PERSONS BODY FLUIDS INTO YOUR BODY so I spat it out and the dude was like, ďwhatís the matter with you?Ē I was like nothing and soon after the encounter was over.

Almost immediately I felt regret and guilt and went into a depression because I thought why did I let myself get into that situation? I mean its not cool to have any kind of sex with someone who you donít even know their name or where they live, you donít know who they are or where they came from. That man walked into my life and into my house for 30 minutes and I never saw or heard from him again, yet we did something so personal. IT WAS SIMPLY DUMB.

So a few days later I decided to look more into oral sex and discovered that my mistake was I was so focused on getting HIV through oral sex that I didnít realize that although transmission of HIV through oral sex is LOW, transmission of other STDís through oral sex is HIGH.

So I spend the next few weeks, months looking out for symptoms and because I was too scared to get tested unless I HAD TO for the next three years every cold was suspect (which was strange because I rarely get cold/flu, yet I got it three times in one year) and I even suffered two night sweat incidents, light/moderate diarrhea, and most recently last year a lump appeared in each side of my cheek inside my mouth.

For three years I was constantly thinking, ďwhat if I caught something?Ē and I went through that mental anguish all one because I couldnít go to my family and tell them what happened (as far as they are concerned I am a good boy virgin, so how would I explain a STD to them) I was too scared to get tested and besides I kept thinking I havenít experience any significant symptoms of anything to warrant getting tested and the chance of me having something is small, and even if I wanted to get tested I was outside the usa in a small country and I had no idea where to go and get tested without it costing a lot or people finding out.

Anyway fast forward to last month, the day of reckoning had come, I HAD TO GET NOT ONLY A HIV TEST BUT A FULL STD PANEL DONE (by the way since that incident I hadnít had any other sexual encounters of any kind). Even though I was mostly sure I was ok, all of that surety was out the window when I had to put my money where my mouth was. I spent three sleepless days waiting on the results (I had a lot riding on those results and everyone says their life would be over but mine would literally be over, if those results came back with anything I couldnít hide it from my family and I would have lost about 20 grand and my job I would have been screwed big time) during that time I saw more HIV awareness ADS than I can remember, magic Johnson was on the t.v. constantly selling crap, and to top it off ON THE WAY TO GET MY RESULTS I stop off to pay my car insurance and will am paying my bill I notice a sign that reads: HAVE YOU BEEN RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH THE HIV/AIDS VIRUS blah blah blah.

So I make my way to the doctorís office and before I went in I prepared myself, I went in trembling but I had to get the results NO CHOICE, I didnít have the option of not facing the music. So I walk in and I am fully prepared for a counselor, itís a small office so they would remember me and everyone looked fine and not stressed or looked at me awkward. I get the results and to my relief I donít have anything. I seriously felt like I was given another chance.

I know a lot to all of you on here reading this are thinking am just another paranoid person who was never in any danger but the real reason I am writing about my experience is to dispute this thought that oral sex is safe, an argument that is too common on this site and everywhere else and is even worse perpetuated by the porn industry.

The fact is THERE IS A RISK of contracting HIV through oral sex no matter how small there is a risk and a risk is a risk and it would suck for someone to contract it this way because of this blasť attitude towards oral sex especially on this site that I assume wants to keep people safe. To see someone post on here, ďI had oral sex and I think I am at risk.Ē Followed by multiple post of, ďyou only had oral sex, your fine.Ē To me is irresponsible.

Also last night I was reading through the newly diagnosed post and I read two on the first page where the person claims they used condoms and they arenít sure whether or not they got it through oral sex. One even thought they may have contracted it by getting cum in shot in their eye, which may be the result of them trying to do one of them face cum shots you see in the pornoís.

I am very familiar with the safe sex awareness and I wish there was the same amount of attention given to safe oral sex (flavored condoms and dental dams) as there is for vaginal and anal sex. Imagine growing up in the 90ís in a developed country being college educated and at 21 finding out for the first time its HIGHLY POSSIBLE you can get STIís orally and even the fact that there is a low risk of HIV contraction during oral even this fact isnít well high lighted or treated too seriously.

As for me I am happy to finally get that issue resolved and I finally know my status, I hope to keep my status as negative but it scares me because you never know what you will and wont do when the moment of decision comes. This can happen to anybody, Iíve had three cousins die from this and my 60-year-old aunt was diagnosed last year.

Finally to everyone on this website who had the unfortunate luck of testing positive, I want you to know whatever the reason or circumstance you find yourself in this situation NO ONE DESERVES THIS and without a doubt a permanent fix (cure/vaccine) will come. The human race has defeated other devastating deceases and this is no different WE WILL OVERCOME THIS.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2009, 04:00:14 PM »
The point is, Oral sex is NOT a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2009, 04:17:03 PM »
forcer,

You can believe what you want, but the fact of the matter is that getting a blowjob, and giving or receiveing cunnilungus are NOT risks for hiv infection. Giving a blowjob is only a theoretical  risk at best.

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

As for what some people may say about how they got infected, sometimes people do things under the influence of drink or drugs that they don't remember. Sometimes people can't bring themselves to admit to having unprotected intercourse. Human nature is like that.

We're not going to debate this issue with you. Our risk assesments are based on knowing the scientific background to hiv transmission, coupled by years of experience of poz/neg sexual relations.

Other STI can infect a person through the oral route, but let me remind you this is an hiv website and we only concentrate on hiv.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. Yes, it really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline forcer397

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2009, 04:34:54 PM »
believe me, I didnt come here to start a uge debate with you guys. I am sure you guys know what your talking about. However the CDC recommends using barriers for oral sex, so I just feel as though that should be the attitude of gruops such as this and STD awareness programs. A risk is a risk and you people and everyone else simply ignored it.

in the end people have to make their own choices and I made mine. I just wanted to post the other side to this isue becuase there is not enough of this side of the argument out there for people to read, when i was googling around the internet I would have loved to find a post like the one I posted.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2009, 04:37:19 PM »
Yeah the CDC says a lot of things and if you get your information off the Internet it's best to look elsewhere where the information is accurate and up to date.

Offline forcer397

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2009, 05:34:12 PM »
so rapid,

this is my thread so i can type all day long in here right? what a bunch of....

anyway so your discrediting the CDC now? I cant believe you feel comfortable in broadcasting on the WORLD WIDE WEB that haing oral sex with a HIV pos person carries NO RISK!!!

simply incredible but hey this is your site and you can purport what ever bull you want

in this am i infected forum the majority of threads deal with oral sex, AT THE VERY LEAST use your soap box to let people know there is a low risk and oral can transmit other STI's but oh yeah i forgot you dont care if someone get gonareah in their throat.

ive said what i i had to say, get offended if you wish, ban me if you wish. it will only show your pettiness

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,562
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2009, 05:42:02 PM »
Forcer, you're very new here and you're quickly getting into arguments.

We're not here for that so I suggest that if you have questions, ask them. You don't have to agree with what is said here nor do you have to follow any of our suggestions.

But we're not going to tolerate belligerent behavior.

As for your comments and concerns about the risk of giving oral sex, Ann has already responded fully to that question. Although we do hear from time to time of a case of someone insisting they became infected through oral, under careful scientific scrutiny they never hold up. People either forget or report inaccurately or are reluctant to acknowledge other actions which took place. Of course common sense dictates that giving oral is a bad idea if you have fresh gaping wound in your mouth or have poor oral care. Otherwise the risk remains in the domain of theoretical.
Andy Velez

Offline hotguyinTX

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2009, 06:25:18 PM »
While it remains a VERY LOW risk for HIV transmission, it is definitely NOT a zero risk. Most transmission occur when they have sores, gum infections, or other infections in their mouth and their partners having high viral load but even with those factors, it's still relatively a low risk.

I don't sweat over the risks of oral sex when it comes to accessing HIV. As a gay man, I do worry about precum up my bleeding ass although little is known on how infectious it can be and there's absolutely nothing I can do until I get tested for it. But I can assure you that I have had oral sex with ejaculate from a HIV+ person many times and never got infected despite having mild gingivitis and in the past 5 years after that last incident, I am still negative. Those are clear risk factors but the overall risk is still low. Those who claim to contract HIV through oral sex alone often have high risk factors - drug abuse (especially amphetamines since they cause dry mouth which makes it more likely for HIV transmission in my opinion), bleeding gums, repeated exposure to large amount of semen, and pre-existing STD's. 

After reading several postings, I find that many of the fears are totally overblown when there are NO risks for HIV transmission whatsoever and I can see how people can be tired of their irrational fears.

Remember, once you are infected with HIV, there's nothing you can do about it but to deal with it. There's no way to "undo" it. We only can hope for better treatments or cures for HIV/AIDS.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2009, 06:26:39 PM »
hotguyinTX, you were already told once about posting in other people's threads. 

Offline forcer397

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2009, 06:32:02 PM »
you people are over sensitive. how am i being baligerant. isnt this america, i respectfully responded to what ever i responded to. i get that this is not a place where member are alllowed to converse and i respect that. i am only responding to you becuase i hate being wrongfully accused of things and it upsets me that you dont see through your ego that i am common sense person not looking to cuase trouble.

this is your site and i wont be posting anymore. i only had to respond to your claims that i am being a trouble maker and being baligereant.

honeslty, am i being balegirant?

sorry if you think am i just now i mean no disrespect.

also i dont know why but as i type this reply i cant actually see what i am typing.

carry on
Forcer, you're very new here and you're quickly getting into arguments.

We're not here for that so I suggest that if you have questions, ask them. You don't have to agree with what is said here nor do you have to follow any of our suggestions.

But we're not going to tolerate belligerent behavior.

As for your comments and concerns about the risk of giving oral sex, Ann has already responded fully to that question. Although we do hear from time to time of a case of someone insisting they became infected through oral, under careful scientific scrutiny they never hold up. People either forget or report inaccurately or are reluctant to acknowledge other actions which took place. Of course common sense dictates that giving oral is a bad idea if you have fresh gaping wound in your mouth or have poor oral care. Otherwise the risk remains in the domain of theoretical.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: The truth about Oral
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2009, 06:35:26 PM »
Had you read the posting guideline like you should have before your first post you would have known. Now if you don't like how this forum is ran you are more than welcome to go somewhere else.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.