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Author Topic: concerned - please answer  (Read 4079 times)

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Offline roosevelt1

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concerned - please answer
« on: April 05, 2009, 09:58:28 AM »
On a few occasions over the past few months I have engaged in kissing and insertive oral with other guys.  I have not sucked, only been sucked.  Over the past week, I have been feeling pretty crappy (congestion, headache) and I got up this morning and had a few canker sores on the roof of my mouth.  I was tested in january and everything was negative.  Do I need to test again, or are you confident that the risk of french kissing and insertive oral do not warrant testing again.  thanks for your advice- I am freaking out here.

Offline Ann

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2009, 10:05:14 AM »
Roosevelt,

Kissing, no matter what sort of spin you can think of to put on it, is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Getting a blowjob is also NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

So NO, you do NOT need to test over either kissing or getting blown.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv as you have NOT been at risk for hiv infection.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2009, 10:11:26 AM »
Thanks Ann,

If I was to do anything more than oral or kissing- it would absolutely be safe.  I just find my mind racing with the what ifs and maybes.  So there has never been a case where insertive oral has resulted in HIV.  thanks for your patience- I really appreciate it.  Also- are you playing the odds- lets say you get oral from a few people you dont know- still safe.  as mentioned- I really appreciate it.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2009, 10:18:19 AM »
Your mind appears to still be racing and all to no good purpose. I don't see how Ann could have made it any clearer but I will repeat it again:

There has never been a confirmed case of HIV transmission to a getting a blowjob. It's safe to say you arent' going to make history by becoming the first. Ditto for kissing. You are worrying without any basis whatsoever in HIV science.

Got it? Let it go and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2009, 10:27:48 AM »
Thanks Andy.

And I am safe to presume that you always assume that everyone is HIV positive- so either positive or negative- it doesnt matter.  Promise this was the last question, and I will tell my mind to shut up.  Thanks for all you do.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2009, 10:36:43 AM »
Yes, in evaluating potential risk in any situation, our responses are always based on the assumption that the other person is HIV+ and how the activities would relate to risk or non-risk.

Which is what you ought to be doing in your sexual life. That is you ought to assume the person you are with is HIV+ and protect yourself accordingly. Specifically that means always without excpetion using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. The other other activities are risky in theory only. In the real world of HIV we know it's about unprotected intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2009, 10:39:39 AM »
thanks a lot.  have a good day

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2009, 10:43:21 AM »
You're welcome. You too.
Andy Velez

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2009, 07:18:15 AM »
So Andy or Ann- one more question- and maybe it is just "spin"  as you say.  thanks in advance.

I bit the side of my mouth in the morning- it was pretty sore, and I am sure it bled a little bit at first.  In the heat of the moment later that night I guess, for an hour or so, I made out with the guy- at one point our teeth must have bumped as I tasted some blood.  Since that I am pretty concerned that this might be a route of transmission (his blood my cut).  Could you ease my fears, even if there was blood exchanged (small amount) and I had the bite in my mouth- would I be free from risk?  Please let me know- thanks a lot.

Offline Ann

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2009, 07:27:16 AM »
Roosevelt,

Yes, it IS just spin. You've already been told that not one person has EVER been infected through a kiss and you aren't going to be the first. You've also been told that not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Quit worrying about these no risk scenarios and get on with your life. Make sure you use condoms for intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2009, 10:53:53 PM »
Unbelievably preoccupied with this.  I know- I am a moron

You could say I have been sewing my wild oats for the past six months.  In general as you know these are the things I have done”
1.   mutual jack off – where we touch each others dicks
2.   rubbing dicks together- sometimes ending in both cumming
3.   getting my dick sucked- however I have not sucked
4.   a decent amount of kissing (a bit too forceful once and I tasted some blood told you that.)
I have done this with six to seven guys over the past eight months- not totally sure of there status- always asked- always said neg- but could never be sure.

So after one of these sessions last week (Tuesday) I had a huge blast of canker sores (told you this)above my uvula- six to be exact (Saturday) and started to feel like shit.  My armpits hurt pretty bad (a burning pain and pressure) but never really had a fever, rash, or the like.

I know insertive oral carries little risk because you told me (maybe none?).  But I keep thinking ive really screwed up because of the number of guys or done something wrong.  I have myself convinced that I am gonna test positive.  Is it anxiety or should I be freaked?  Even considering the nick on the lips, three blowjobs as the insertive dude?  Should I really let this go since I tested earlier this year and everything was a-ok.

Thanks in advance- I know this is a pain.  I promise no more posts- I am gonna print out the response 5 times too large and live with it

Help me out.

Thanks


Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2009, 04:46:08 AM »
Roosevelt,

Nothing you did or had done to you was risky for hiv infection. We've been through this. Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk. Rubbing dicks (aka frottage ) is NOT a risk. Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk - no matter what spin. Kissing is NOT a risk - no matter what spin you want to put on it.

The other men's hiv status did not matter during any of the activities you engaged in.

However, I'd like to point out to you that asking another person their hiv status is NOT the way to be safe and protect yourself. If and when you start having intercourse, you MUST act as though any person you are with is hiv positive and USE CONDOMS. It doesn't matter what they tell you, it doesn't matter what they have in their on-line profile. Sometimes people lie and more often, people don't accurately know their hiv status - they only think  they're hiv negative.

As I told you above:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. And NEVER, EVER take another person's word for it that they're hiv negative. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline roosevelt1

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2009, 10:20:31 PM »
So just one last question.  Even if the guy had a huge viral load- recently diagnosed there is absolutely no risk in insertive oral?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2009, 10:26:26 PM »
None. Move on.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2009, 03:53:53 AM »
roo,

For the last time, SALIVA IS NOT INFECTIOUS. A person's viral load could be through the roof and it doesn't change the fact that SALIVA IS NOT INFECTIOUS. Therefore, GETTING A BLOWJOB IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION.

Sorry to shout, but I mean, are you LISTENING to what we've been telling you?

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Keep posting about these no risk kissing/blowjob scenarios and you will be given a time out. Please consider yourself warned.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline roosevelt1

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Help- Answer Please.
« Reply #15 on: February 04, 2010, 04:19:52 PM »
Hi,

I think I am posted on the correct thread.

Last night I had sex with a guy that I know relatively well.  He insists that he is HIV negative and recently tested.

Right when I was entering him (I was the top) max ten seconds and not fully inside (if at all) the condom broke.  Immediately we noticed and took off the condom and stopped washed the lube off etc etc.

Could you tell me what my risk is?  SHould I stop worrying?  SHould I go on PEP.  Again he said he is recently tested and 99.9 sure he is neg.  He told me stop worrying

Your thoughts????

Please let me know.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2010, 04:23:43 PM »
not fully inside (if at all)

Had you penetrated him you would have known.

Offline standard

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2010, 04:31:25 PM »
I am honestly not sure if I did.  If I did- it was only the head of my dick.  What are your thoughts on exposure.... andy? ann?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #18 on: February 04, 2010, 04:54:54 PM »
Even if you did penetrate him it was very brief. I don't consider this to have been a genuinely risky incident and it's certainly not one that warrants doing PEP.

The condom protected you until it broke and then you withdrew so I don't see any risk here except in a theoretical way.

I don't even think from what you have  described that it warrants getting tested, but that's up to you.
Andy Velez

Offline standard

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #19 on: February 04, 2010, 06:25:37 PM »
Ann,

You feel the same way.  I tend to over react with these things.  Emailed my doctor and he said PEP was my choice.  Knowing the side effects- I am thinking it might be not such a good idea.....

Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2010, 06:30:29 PM »
standard, DO NOT POST IN ANY OTHER THREADS OTHER THAN YOUR OWN.

Offline standard

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2010, 06:33:48 PM »
this is my post.  I posted all of this today.  not sure what happened.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2010, 06:44:30 PM »
this is my post.  I posted all of this today.  not sure what happened.
Look again it is not YOUR thread. It's roosevelt1's thread.

Offline standard

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2010, 06:50:26 PM »
i just checked I have two logins and I am not sure how to merge them.  sorry.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #24 on: February 04, 2010, 06:51:51 PM »
i just checked I have two logins and I am not sure how to merge them.  sorry.
Only one user name is permitted per member. The user name you select upon registering for the Forums should be the user name you remain with throughout your participation in the Forums. Maintaining more than one user name is a violation of these Terms of Membership and is subject to automatic removal from the Forums, locking of the multiple accounts (including the original account), and banning to prevent future registration.

Offline standard

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2010, 07:04:12 PM »
it was purely a mistake, and I certainly didnt intend to do anything wrong.  let me know what to do to correct and I would.

Offline Ann

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Re: concerned - please answer
« Reply #26 on: February 05, 2010, 06:27:37 AM »
roo/standard,

Mistake my foot. It's pretty clear what you did - back in mid-April 2009 it became obvious to you that we were getting fed up with your constant questions about NO RISK kissing and getting blown, so you created a new account to avoid being given a time out.

As it is YOUR responsibility to read and abide by our forum rules, there is no excuse for your behaviour. The consequence for such behaviour is to be permanently banned.

You are now permanently banned from these forums. Bye!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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