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Author Topic: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way  (Read 3700 times)

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Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« on: March 26, 2009, 08:34:58 AM »
Hey all!

I've been away for awhile and wanted to pop back in and say hello again, catch up with everyone and to say--at the age of 43 and having lived with HIV for 18 years--I JUST learned something very important.

I bit the bullet of my own pride and saw a mental health professional (2 actually) about my depression.  I thought I was just grumpy and moody and blue--and that afterall--I deserved to be, right?

WHAT a stooooopid thing it was to do to wait!

Just in the short time since I began proactively addressing my mental and emotional health (with therapy and meds), I've:

-Had wonderful, passionate and comforting moments with my wife.
-Laughed, giiggled and even had coffee come through my nose once.
-Began playing the drums again.
-Re-opened my art studio
-Got back to the gym and set my competition schedule for this summer/fall
-Cried.  Not because of the nebulous feelings of loss and disconnectedness--but because I truly felt empathy.
-Stopped thinking that my job defined me.

So--if you think you are dealing with depression--PLEASE don't wait to address it.

-Marco

Offline jampdx

  • Member
  • Posts: 89
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2009, 08:42:24 AM »
Very cool!  Congrats.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Infected 1/6/2009
Positive 2/9/2009
3/8/2009:  CD4 603  VL f\'d up by lab and having to redraw
4/7/2009 CD4 650 VL 348
6/24/2009 cd4 964 VL 850
9/26/2009 CD4 546 VL 822
7/22/13 CD4 1080 VL 2,220

Offline Dwayn20

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
  • dbscooter0@gmail.com
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2009, 09:31:10 AM »
I agree 100% to what you said. I had to learn the hard way myself.I wish I would have known sooner.I had gotten to the point that it was crippling.
Dwayn20 (Scooter)
Hey all!

I've been away for awhile and wanted to pop back in and say hello again, catch up with everyone and to say--at the age of 43 and having lived with HIV for 18 years--I JUST learned something very important.

I bit the bullet of my own pride and saw a mental health professional (2 actually) about my depression.  I thought I was just grumpy and moody and blue--and that afterall--I deserved to be, right?

WHAT a stooooopid thing it was to do to wait!

Just in the short time since I began proactively addressing my mental and emotional health (with therapy and meds), I've:

-Had wonderful, passionate and comforting moments with my wife.
-Laughed, giiggled and even had coffee come through my nose once.
-Began playing the drums again.
-Re-opened my art studio
-Got back to the gym and set my competition schedule for this summer/fall
-Cried.  Not because of the nebulous feelings of loss and disconnectedness--but because I truly felt empathy.
-Stopped thinking that my job defined me.

So--if you think you are dealing with depression--PLEASE don't wait to address it.

-Marco


Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2009, 09:43:27 AM »
The oddest thing is--I didn't realize how 'bad' it actually was until I started to get better.  Lately I've been saying, "Oh yeah--THIS is what ME is again--I had forgotten"

The meds have helped for sure.  The thing I guess I'm most proud of, is that I dumped my ego and pride and began working with a therapist.  Not in that "I'm the center of the universe, why can't everyone love me' kinda ranting, but in learning specific skills and processes to check what's going on and act early before I follow negative thoughts etc. to the point that I begin to sprial down.  I'm hopeful that I can continue to be proactive, but I also know that this is all a process and there will be advancements and set-backs--I just have to keep moving forward.

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,337
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2009, 10:22:34 AM »
Marco -- welcome back.  This is really wonderful news.  I'm so happy for you.

I've had breakthrough moments like this thanks to good shrinks at certain points in my life.  It's the greatest feeling, isn't it?

Why everyone doesn't seek some mental health support at least once in their life is beyond me.  No one is that strong.

Again, congrats!

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,506
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2009, 01:08:57 PM »

Why everyone doesn't seek some mental health support at least once in their life is beyond me. 

Considering the risk statistics on this topic as regards HIV you have to wonder if it's being brought up enough by HIV doctors.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Texan38

  • Member
  • Posts: 686
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2009, 03:25:46 PM »
I just had to let you know, your positive energy radiates through your posts! Glad you're back!
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2009, 04:44:29 PM »
That made my day.

Thanks Marco
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,429
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2009, 08:50:09 PM »
That is great news Marco.

I am very happy you took the step and have made this discovery.

HUGS,

Mark

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,647
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2009, 03:56:35 PM »
That's great!  Congratulations......... :-*
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline bobean

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2009, 04:56:09 PM »
       Good for you ,I bet your wife is happy also.Your profile pic says a thousand words...Bet you couldn't or wouldn't jump that high before getting help..God Bless ;D 

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2009, 09:18:25 PM »
Great news Marco,

Hopefully your post will encourage more people to seek help.  I too put off seeing a therapist for far too long and finally seeing someone was a great decision.

Keep up the good work!
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline xsufferer

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way
« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2009, 08:25:46 PM »
THanks for the encouragment!  I had a similar experience.
xsufferer

 


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