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Author Topic: Panicking and paranoid  (Read 3549 times)

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Offline BigD

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Panicking and paranoid
« on: April 12, 2009, 05:31:07 AM »
Hi there, firstly I would like to say what a wonderful forum you have, you are great people.
Now for my story, I made a stupid mistake a little over a month ago and am now freaking out. I met this couple and they invited me back to their place, I am a straight male. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed. Luckily I realised before I went too far, however I did do the folllowing. I licked the woman's vagina, probably for no more than 30 seconds, but at most, 60 seconds. This was only with the tip of my tongue and on the outer lips, I did not penetrate her with my tongue or suck on her vagina. I also french kissed her quite a bit and fingered her for a few minutes. I don't have the best oral health, but certainly not the worst, my gums bleed sometimes when I brush. I am panicking about my risk of being infected. I did not have any intercourse other than what I have detailed above. Please can you tell me what my risk is and if I need to test. I have been feeling under the weather for the last 4 weeks, flu, sore throat, swollen glands, sinusitis and am really worried. Thanks.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Stressing myself out!!!
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2009, 05:56:19 AM »
D,

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Kissing is not a risk for hiv infection. Fingering is not a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected in any of these ways and you won't be the first.

Along with reading the Transmission Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread, here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BigD

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Re: Stressing myself out!!!
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2009, 01:39:46 PM »
Hi Ann,
Thank you for your reply. I feel a lot better, however I am just a little concerned, as in other posts on this site, it has been mentioned that you can become infected from going down on a woman albeit a tiny risk, but you have stated this is not the case and you can't become infected, please could you clarify. My apologies, I am not second guessing, merely asking for a clarification and confirmation on the conflicting info. I am also curious, how common are nightsweats in early HIV infection, ie. first few weeks after infection?

thank you.
D.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stressing myself out!!!
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2009, 02:50:40 PM »
I don't know what you have been reading about infection through giving oral and frankly I am not interested. That's baloney!

Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which are very effective in preventing the transmission of viable HIV. Longterm studies of sero-discordant couples who have had lots of unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse have resulted in not one sero-negative partner becoming infected.

You are worrying needlessly. And there's no need for testing over this incident.
Andy Velez

Offline BigD

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Very worried please help
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2009, 05:30:56 AM »
Hi, I need advice. I recently hired a lady for a massage and hand job. She gave me a normal massage and then gave me a hand job. I sucked her nipples, she sucked my nipples and gave me a hand job, that's all that happened. She had a cut on one of her fingers, which had a plaster on it, however she took it off while giving me the hand job. The next day I saw that I had bumps or a rash on both of my thighs, more on the lower thighs that is, but also up to top where it joins the groin, but nothing on my groin or scrotum or anywhere else. It seems that the bumps all occur where my hairs come out, nowhere else. It is not really itchy but more burny. I know she rubbed me quite a bit in that area and am thinking it may be an irritation from the massage, but not sure. Other than that, I feel fine and have no other symptoms.

My questions are....
1. What is my risk of HIV, considering her cut etc?
2. What is my risk of contracting another STD, like herpes, crabs, scabies or syphillis etc?
3. Does my rash or irritation sound like an STD, or is it more than likely from the excessive massaging in the specific area. It is lower thigh, both left and right, but more on the left than on the right, and only where my hair follicles are. It almost seems that it is from the hairs on my thigh being pulled during massage?
4. How long would it normally take for a rash to occur for an STD, is 1 day normally too soon?

I would really appreciate your response, I am really worried about this.

thanks.
D.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2009, 05:39:51 AM »
This is an HIV specific site. You were never at risk of contracting HIV.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2009, 07:08:15 AM »
D,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




Nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection. If you're worried about other STIs, go see your doctor.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BigD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2009, 07:28:17 AM »
Hi Ann,
Sorry about not merging, I have figured it out now.

It seems the rash was folliculitis, probably caused by the massage oil and also irritation from rubbing the hairs etc.
I would just like to clarify, and sorry for asking so many questions.

1. If the cut she had on her finger while giving me a handjob had bled during the handjob, seeing though I am not circumcised, what would the risk be of getting infected through the blood on m foresking and also in my urethra? Some sites say it is possible.
2. How much blood is needed in order to infect in the above way?
3. 13 days after the incident, I had sore throat, sinus, runny nose, slight wet cough and felt a little dizzy and tired. I also had a runny stomach for about a day. The other symptoms lasted for about 10 days and then got better. Could these be ARS symptoms?
4. I am freaked out as I am scared to have sex with my wife now, should I be and should I get tested over the above incident?

I apreciate your help and answers.

D.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2009, 08:37:37 AM »
D,

1 - NO. She'd have to have cut a finger off immediately before giving you a handjob for there to be any amount of blood present for it to even be a remote concern. Not one person has ever been infected through a handjob and you aren't going to be the first.

2 - see above - and even that much blood would be only theoretically able to infect during a handjob. Getting a handjob is one of the safest things you can do sexually.

3 - No, because you didn't have a risk. Sometimes a cold is just a cold. Most of the time, in fact.

4 - No, you don't need to test as you did NOT have a risk. But, if that's the only way you're going to get past this NO RISK incident, then go on, knock yourself out.

Please make sure you read our Welcome Thread and take note that you won't be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about this NO RISK incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BigD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2009, 03:23:22 AM »
Hi Ann/Andy,

I promise this is my last post on this subject, please don't ban me, just looking for some reassurance.
Although you stated there was no risk for me, my OCD got the better of me and I went for an antibody ELISA test at 5 weeks, it came back negative. The doctor also ran a full white blood cell test, and all my white blood cells were normal. That was still not good enough, so I have gone for a PCR test, along with a full STD test and am awaiting my results. I know this is all crazy to you, but it's all that will put my mind at rest. I would just like some reassurance from you as experts to get me through the next day or so, so I would like to ask my last questions.
1. Is a negative 5 week ELISA test reassuring?
2. If at 5 weeks I did not have antibodies yet, but was infected, would my white blood cells have been lower than normal already?
3. In your opinion, can I relax and expect the PCR to be negative?

I apologise for posting again, and promise not to after this post.

thanks
D.


Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Very worried please help
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2009, 07:19:29 AM »
D,

1. Not only is your negative result reassuring, it is also conclusive as you did not have a risk. You ARE hiv negative. You do NOT have hiv.

2. A white blood count taken at anytime during hiv infection will never reveal your hiv status. Only antibody testing will.

3. You need to know that DNA PCR testing is NOT approved for diagnostic purposes as it has a high rate of false positives. RNA PCR testing is a bit more reliable, but it is also not approved for diagnostic purposes in a case such as your where there has been NO RISK.

Stop wasting time and money chasing an illness for which you have not been at risk.

You do NOT have hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BigD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Panicking and paranoid
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2010, 09:45:11 AM »
Hi all,
Two days ago I met up with some friends of mine, a couple.
One thing led to another and after a few drinks, yes I know it was stupid.

She basically took the two of us to the room, and started jerking us off together.
She then started blowing the two of us together as well, moving from the other guy to me and back and forth. I lasted literally 2 or 3 minutes, due to the alchohol, neither of us could keep it up and we gave up.

There was no ejeculation from either of us at any stage, and the sucking pretty much lasted a minute or two.

What is my risk of hiv in this situation, especially since she moved from the other guy to me, even though there was no ejeculation? Could there have been infection from him to me, or from her to me in any way?

I would appreciate your answers here and tell me if I need to test.

thanks

Offline Ann

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  • Member
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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Panicking and paranoid
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2010, 10:18:30 AM »
D,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection - not even in the situation you provide. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BigD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Panicking and paranoid
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2010, 01:30:05 PM »
Hi Ann,

Thank you for your answer, so I can go on and be with my wife without concern and don't need to test over HIV?
Should I test for any other STD's or is the risk low for contracting these through the situation I described as well?

many thanks
D.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Panicking and paranoid
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2010, 04:41:27 PM »
We don't like to comment about other STDs because this is an HIV  specific site. But from what you have described of your incident I don't see any cause for concern about other STDs.

As far as HIV is concerned you can resume intimate relations with your wife without any fear of HIV being an issue.
Andy Velez

Offline BigD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Panicking and paranoid
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2010, 04:56:18 PM »
Thank you Andy for you answer, it is greatly appreciated.
I will try and keep a cool head about this and move on.

thanks again..
D.

 


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