Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 29, 2014, 05:45:03 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23066
  • Latest: MikeDH
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632185
  • Total Topics: 47869
  • Online Today: 227
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 158
Total: 161

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Self Portrait  (Read 2344 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Dwayn20

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
  • dbscooter0@gmail.com
Self Portrait
« on: March 22, 2009, 11:37:03 PM »
In twenty plus years I no longer know the person looking back though the mirror.With all the scars from taking different medicines.I took a photo of myself tonight and really did not recognize the person in the photo.It actually looks like I had been in a bar fight two black eyes an scars all over.I tried a couple of time with the same results my entire body look like it has battle scars.I Want To Know If Any Of The Long Time Survivors Have Had Similar Issues?I hope all the newbies appreciate us Guinea Pigs because I was one of many that tried this drug and that drug.If anyone has been though the same thing I would love to hear about it. So I don,t have to feel alone.    Please Reply?   Thanks    Dwayn20(Scooter)

P.S. Yes I Also Know Change Comes With Age But These Scars Are From Old Bouts With Different Medicines!!!
« Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 07:37:35 AM by Dwayn20 »

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,851
  • Vegas baby!
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2009, 09:25:59 AM »
Dwayn,

I don't know that I necessarily have scars from different medications; and believe me, I was on most of them that were used.  I have scars from different illnesses I've had. 

If I have problems with dark circles under my eyes, usually it's because I'm not getting enough sleep, or some element in my body is off (something in my blood, like iron or whatever).

I don't know if this helps at all.  I hope you feel better.  And yeah, I wish I looked like I did 20 years ago.
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2009, 10:19:30 AM »
Scooter,

My scar isn't from any medication but do to wasting (after some med failure) and an esophageal stricture that gets harder to treat when my numbers go down.  My GI doctor on the advice of my ID doctor had to put a percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) feeding tube.  That why I could take my meds and food through the tube.  So now when I my shirt is off it looks like I have 2 navels.   :o :o

Also, from when I was first diagnosed and then two med failures my teeth have really suffered as my body cannibalized itself to get enough calcium.  :(

Otherwise, I'm the same handsome stud I always was.  ::) ;)

Hugs,
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2009, 10:25:31 AM »
Hey Scooter,

I'm there with you.

I remember having really hot legs. They were muscular and firm and, well, hot.  It was one of best features.

Today, the fat is gone thanks to lipoatrophy, so my legs are knobby, veiny and skinny, although they are still muscular.

I have the quintessential beer belly - except I don't drink beer. Again, the meds.

From the neck up, well, let's just say there have been some changes that are quite visible to me.

But, on, the bright side, I can do a great impression of Jabba the Hut.

You know, Scooter, there are times I wish I could at least rid myself of some of these annoyances.  But, there is little I can do.

So, we just have to grin and bear it as best we can.

HUGS,

Mark

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline lipoenvy

  • Member
  • Posts: 61
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2009, 01:51:07 PM »
Yep, those are battle scars, all right.

Once I had a butt.  Now I search out the padded chairs.

The most alarming changes are always the ones that happen fastest - like losing 15 pounds in 3 weeks, and lipoatrophy riding in like Sherman's army, never to go away.  I lost all four cheeks in record time.  And I miss having hair on my legs.

People who met me only recently think I look gaunt, that's all.  But I compare and compare how I look now to how I used to look -- how I keep thinking I'm supposed to look.  I wear long pants and long-sleeved shirts no matter what the weather, because me in shorts would not make the world a prettier place.  But this is the way I look now, no getting around it.

Sure, there are slight fluctuations for the better if I am well-rested and have managed to be at least a little bit physically active, but certain changes, short of cosmetic surgery, are here to stay.  So I try not to focus on how I look, and focus instead on health and how I feel.  I don't always succeed.

I see from your other posts that you're going through some rough times.  Hang in there.

lipoenvy

Stranger to Nelson Vergel, during his workout at the gym:  "Hey, man, how'd you get so cut?"
Nelson:  "Oh, you know -- AZT."

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,891
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2009, 02:03:25 PM »
I can pretty much just quote lipenvy's post and say it explains me completely.  Mentally, and with CB therapy, I've arrived at a point where it doesn't bother me much.  I make the adjustments needed, seek out the padded chairs and never wear shorts -- one thing I really miss though is the ability to wear a bathing suit and go the beach.

Lately though I've had numerous friends, as well as my doctor, insisting that I've regained things a bit.  I have a place/doctor where I can obtain Sculptra injections for free, but I've kind of come around to just accepting where I'm at and not wanting to commit to that reliance to frequent injections in my face.

I definitely have med-bloat in my tummy, but I also think that half of it is something I could get rid of if I tried harder.  Minor dietary adjustments and some sit ups would work.  I've only gone up a couple waist sizes over my optimum previously trim self though.  Still, cycling from wasting to this over the span of 6 years more than doubled my wardrobe, yet I hesitate to toss  stuff in case it happens again.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dwayn20

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
  • dbscooter0@gmail.com
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2009, 04:36:31 PM »
Yeah my boyfriend of twenty years which is negative likes to joke when are you going to deliver that baby.Then I get pissed off but I started to realize that's how he deals with this disease.In the last three to five years I have gone the opposite direction an put on 55 pounds an I walk every morning an afternoon.I tried to do sit ups but with my gallbladder problem which I go tomorrow morning to see if they want to remove it.Dwayn20(Scooter)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,851
  • Vegas baby!
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2009, 09:29:31 PM »
Dwayn, if your gallbladder is causing you problems and they want to take it out, believe, you'll feel so much better once it's gone.  I know I did when they yanked mine out.

I've had wasting in my legs.  They're extremely thin and I have to wear a brace on my left leg all the time because of avascular necrosis in my knees from use of HIV meds.  So, I do have that.  I lost all my teeth about 20 years ago, so I'm used to dentures.  And I've had people ask me if I'm pregnant.  I do believe though, like Ms. Philicia was saying, if I stuck to the diet I need to be on, and exercised more, I'd lose some of it.  A guy I go to school with asked me a few weeks back why my face was sunk in some.

To tell you the truth, I do wear shorts if I feel like it, brace and all, and I don't much care what people think.  Maybe it's because I've lived so many lives, I've accepted I'm not in my 20's anymore.  Maybe it's because I'm a grandmother (age thing).  I've come to accept myself, with all my flaws, and that took too long and too much work to not hang onto and believe.  That doesn't mean I don't care about my appearance; of course I do.  I have high standards when it comes to cleanliness and keeping up a neat appearance.  I just don't base everything I do/wear on what I think others will judge me to be.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dwayn20

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
  • dbscooter0@gmail.com
Re: Self Portrait
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2009, 06:04:24 AM »
Lets put it this way I have enjoyed all the Sci Fi Living Dead Movies .The picture I had taken the other night just happened when I was watching one of these movies. Boy I was not amused how much it looked like the living dead.This is just my opinion.
Dwayn20(Scooter)

In twenty plus years I no longer know the person looking back though the mirror.With all the scars from taking different medicines.I took a photo of myself tonight and really did not recognize the person in the photo.It actually looks like I had been in a bar fight two black eyes an scars all over.I tried a couple of time with the same results my entire body look like it has battle scars.I Want To Know If Any Of The Long Time Survivors Have Had Similar Issues?I hope all the newbies appreciate us Guinea Pigs because I was one of many that tried this drug and that drug.If anyone has been though the same thing I would love to hear about it. So I don,t have to feel alone.    Please Reply?   Thanks    Dwayn20(Scooter)

P.S. Yes I Also Know Change Comes With Age But These Scars Are From Old Bouts With Different Medicines!!!

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.