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Author Topic: Talking about status a different view  (Read 2253 times)

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Offline bluelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 178
Talking about status a different view
« on: August 06, 2006, 02:14:47 PM »
I had breakfast this morning with a girlfriend of mine. Well she told me something that had happened to another friend of hers.

It seems this lady has met a nice man from South Africa, Things have been going well and he asked her a few days ago about having a HIV test. He's neg and wants to stay that way.

She freaked out thinking he was calling her a slut.

Well this is my answer to my girlfriend. Thank god for someone like him who cares enough about himself and her to ask these questions. This is a man who has seen what it can do first hand. I told her you know what l would love to met and shake his hand. Because if we had more people like him we could stop the spread of this faster.And yes he offered to go tested with her again.

She won't  speak to him now because she still thinks he was calling her easy....

Her loss l think....Wish l had been brave enough all those years ago to ask the same question.




Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2006, 02:56:52 PM »
I would definitely say it was her loss.

Good for you for trying to educate her. Keep up the good work.


HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2006, 03:37:45 AM »
Your friend has her head in the sand on this one! I totally agree with you that he did the responsible thing here. She needs to get over herself. We live in a different world since HIV has come into our world.
Why do so many people find it hard to deal with HIV. Bluelove, you hit the nail on the head with this one. Until people change their spoiled-ass, comfortable habits, nothing is going to get better.
I would shake his hand too. Now that's sexy...a man who actually cares enough about himself to get tested with someone he cares about. The HIV discussion has to happen much more often or things are only going to get worse. Good for you Blue...Now if we can only get you away from eating those damned doughnuts!
Positive since 1985

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2006, 07:14:02 AM »
.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2006, 01:40:21 PM by cowandalehouse »

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2006, 07:24:42 AM »
I am curious. If asking someone to take an HIV test means that they are being called "easy"... does that mean that HIV positive people are easy?

 I would be concerned at your friend's true perception about *you* at this point.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2006, 11:16:33 AM »
bluelove,
I agree with you 100%. I would like to shake his hand too. He is being responsible for his health...good for him.

Sadly, the woman's reaction is probably more common than we would like to think. Her ignorance could catch up with her someday.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2006, 11:25:08 AM »
Bluelove, I wish I would have asked that question to...  I think she should think about what he asked a bit harder and reconsider...   Nothing is "easy" but safe, these days.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,343
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2006, 12:53:14 PM »
I like JeffreyJ's response -- Now that's sexy...a man who actually cares enough about himself to get tested with someone he cares about. And, Jonathon's perspective is keen as well---she possibly dropped a Clue for Blue as to what she thinks is True. Prime opportunity to pull her over with some Arresting chat. Em

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2006, 01:02:05 PM »
I can't say anything but thanks.  You are truly a friend to this woman, and it shows by this story.  Print out the thread and give it to her when we are done with it.  I think her views of the world might change a bit when she reads the heartfelt opinions of so many HIV+ people.  Information is truly power, and in this case, could have bloomed into much much more.

In Love and Thanks.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2006, 03:34:26 PM »
It's this type of stigma that prevents many from finding what may be the love of their life.  Count my fiance as one of those who came around!

I waited 3 months to tell her my status.  She said to me, I love you too much for this to interfere, we can get through this.  She later admited to me, because she is my soulmate and we talk about everything, that had she known my status either before dating me or early on she likely would have run for the hills.

She now concedes that having a future hubby with HIV is not that different from diabetes or something.  We just have to be a little more careful cause you cant catch diabetes by sharing a snickers bar!!  (and no, fears forum members, you cant catch HIV by sharing a candy bar either, it was simply an analogy of diabets and sugar vs. HIV and sex!)<---that disclaimer was for jonathan, ann, andy, rapid rod and morgan!
« Last Edit: August 07, 2006, 04:09:47 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2006, 03:51:54 PM »
S
T
I       SUCKS
G
M
A



But then, I'm just a ho.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2006, 06:09:09 PM »
Blue,

Given your friends reaction, I would say the chappie from South Africa has had a lucky escape.

Regards,

MtD
(Who agrees with Daddy Tim - print this thread out and show it to her)

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2006, 06:42:22 PM »
Hello Bluelove, it is Eldon. The gentleman really showed his honesty upfront. Your friend should appreciate him with this factor, because there are some who just keep their mouth shut. If I were to meet him, I would love to shake his hand.

Offline joyluckclub

  • Member
  • Posts: 136
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2006, 12:19:04 AM »
Ditto to what everyone else has said. 

As an African American male, HIV/AIDS is ripping the Black community apart. 

Your response to your friend will hopefully help to wake everyone up, black, white, brown, yellow, red, etc, to the need to be open and honest about HIV/AIDS.
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Talking about status a different view
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2006, 03:14:32 AM »
I'm guessing that every single positive person on this forum wishes they had asked that very question themselves AND then accompanied their prospective partners whilst being tested AND whilst receiving results. That's the world we live in.

No disrepect meant but on this matter your friend is being ignorant. Ignorance kills.

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

 


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