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Author Topic: Hello ...  (Read 4976 times)

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Offline Mattyman

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Hello ...
« on: March 10, 2009, 03:56:07 AM »
Hi everyone, here is my pity story...I am 23 yrs exchange student in sweden, doing my last term thesis for my masters degree. I brought up in a very fanatic jew family and had always believe in sex after marriage and didn't have one, well until this last friday...it was by all regard the worest experiance i had and u could image also vry risky....I went alone, ended up in a karioki bar, got drunk to the point of knockout and went to bed with a woman twice of my age...we had vaginal sex three time (with no protection...I never carry condom with me) and also one oral sex (me being receptive).

You don't recongnize me in the morning, left her plc frantically well I don't know what I took back with me. It's been 4 days now and everything is blurred to me. I called the woman yestarday (I took her number in that next morning) and when I asked her what her situtation is (well took me to talk about my whole life story to do that) she said she is been married twice and had two children, and she don't worry about anything anyways and wants us to hook up again in sober time. Seems to me she don't really worry about anything at all. That is ok for her, but 4 me it was a death bell or some thing.

I know I am at risk with all the counts and the guilt and being a failure kill'n me. Please anyone could say something what will be my chance of getting HIV? I already got cramped stomach, headache, uncomfortable neck and burning sensation on under my feet....please help....Thank you

Online RapidRod

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 06:25:42 AM »
You had unprotected vaginal sex and put yourself at risk. You need to test not only for HIV but other STDs. Symptoms or the lack there of in no indication of HIV or not. You can test at 6 weeks post exposure and if that test returns a negative result retest at the 12/13 week mark and collect your conclusive test result.

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 07:56:17 AM »
Thank you for the reply Rapid...About the ARS symptoms...Can you have them in a couple of days of ur exposure? and Is anxiyety drives me crazy now...so feel like I am having the symptoms so soon? I know these is not All sti quesion plc, but I have seen from Other sites, that Gorron. and Clamadya should show up some symptoms as soon as 3-5 days, which I do't have yet...Am I being lucky or not yet... what are the chance of gett'n HIV from such one night stand, I heard sweden has a low HIV rate ( from 9 mil. ppl, recorded for the last yr HIV case was about 7000)...I am sorry, but I am having bad time now...couldn't be able to consentrate on anything....thankyou all

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2009, 08:04:42 AM »
Matty, forget about looking for and/or having symptoms. That will never tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test at the proper time can give you that answer reliably.

A few things you ought to know: The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus. So a negative at 6 weeks is very, very unlikely to change when you do a final test at 13 weeks. Also, HIV is significantly harder to transmit from female to male than the other way around. All of those factors work in your favor to point towards a negative since this was a single incident.

Considering your background as you have described it I would guess there's a heavy dose of shame and guilt wrapped up in your anxious state. You're a guy and you did what you did. You can't change that. Take a breath, I mean really take a breath, and let go of guilt. It's poisonous -- and get on with your life.

During the waiting period get productively busy with other things and the time will pass more quickly and easily than you may imagine is possible. Really.

You can have sex with whomever you like and whatever their HIV status. Just make sure that everytime you do it you are wearing a condom. No exceptions. It's also a good idea to avoid excessive drinking mixed with casual sex as it makes it difficult to keep safer sex in mind under those conditions.

I expect you are likely to come out of this ok.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2009, 08:18:24 AM »
Thank you Andy for the understanding! I am having a hard time with everything...almost hating everything...life is so miserable for me...wish I had accident that friday... How is life being a positive person? And how could you count this incident as a single incident, when I acually did it three times that night? I now know each act was toward my infection....oh mine, I was so stupid...I guess no point to talk about it anyway...thankyou agian.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2009, 08:22:48 AM »
I didn't forget that you had sex three times that night.

You need to take some nice slow and deep breaths. Right now. I mean it. And do that everytime you find yourself tensing up. It really helps.

And you have got to be disciplined about focusing on other matters. Don't tell me you're too upset to do that because that isn't going to fly with me. Just do it!

Stop beating up on yourself. That never helps with anything. And forget about discussing living with HIV and all of that. Your fears notwithstanding, based on what you have reported I don't expect that to be your problem.

Now, breathe and get on with other things in your day or evening. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2009, 08:27:42 AM »
I will try as much as I could. Thank you again! 6 more weeks, even for the first test...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 08:32:31 AM »
Good. Do the breathing and get busy with other things.

And remember, a negative at six weeks is almost a guarantee you will continue to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 09:25:17 AM »
It it is negative at the end of 6 weeks my brother... I should have known better for that matter anyway. :-[  :(

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2009, 04:33:45 AM »
I now know you don't find it intersting to discuss about symptoms in this site, but I have this thing almost the whole last night...I feel like I am dehydrated and feel so uncoforatable around my gential area. I feel very light and I also feel a little burning senstaion when I pee, but that gone when I pee in the morning and I don't have it now. I feel like i don't have energy to do things I noramlly do. How would ARS start to show up and can it be show up as early as 6 days or I am having other STI symptoms? I am cheking for any dip all night and day from my penis, but nothing has show up yet...tnx for your patience for reading...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2009, 08:35:56 AM »
Matty, absolutely nothing you are reporting is in any way suggestive of ARS. In fact, just at reading them they all sound stress-related to me. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor. But whatever is going on certianly doesn't sound in any way related to HIV.

The level of your anxiety is not surprising to me. Not because of the risk, but rather in relation to the background which you wrote about from which you come which would make the whole issue of sex, pre-marital and otherwise a highly charged matter. Frankly I think you ought to consider talking privately with a counselor or other professional to get some support about this.

By the way, given that you are circumcised makes the risk having been even lower during the incident you are concerned about. Those with foreskins are at great risk.

 
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2009, 09:30:06 AM »
Thnx! andy, you are right, I am circumcised and I am also considering the talking thing with consoler, I can't even read one page, though my final exam for the thesis is in few weeks. But Can you honest with me...given than she is been married twice and divorced now and the way she reacts to sexual interactions and everything, makes me feel like she really don't care she has any infection or not. I am not against of any of that, but just saying the fact. And may be this sounds silly (sry), but i had felt different pumps (specifically two) inside her when i use my finger (don't know that is normal or not)... Honestly, do you think I can ended up infected with HIV? The though is kill'n me...wish you know it and no thougth about it anymore...Honest opioion pls...Thank you!

Online RapidRod

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2009, 09:34:01 AM »
Your 3 month test will be conclusive.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2009, 09:43:35 AM »
Matty, you need to work on keeping things simple(r).  All of this what iffing will accomplish nothing good.
Whatever you felt inside of her has nothing to do with the realities of risk nor do all of the interpretations you are making about the woman and her life. Frankly that is all nonsense.

See a counselor now if you need some support so that you can re-focus on your studies, which are actually a perfect way to re-direct your attention and energies.

I've already told you that I expect you to come out of this ok. So stop with the guilt-laden drama and get on with your life right now. And Matty, although I appreciate your stress, we are not going to be holding your hand each time you have another scary thought. Again, I expect you to come out of this ok, but you need to do some work now and not just sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2009, 01:28:01 PM »
Hi everyone,

Is it possible to have ARS symptoms without Fever and Skin Rash at day 10? I had vomitting in the weekend and sore tonsil (probably from the vomitting) nausea and crapping feeling around joints and down back pain. I already bought two thermo's to check up my fever and doing it atleast 5 to six times a day. My temp was all the time around 36. I feel this discomfort around my gentil and my urine seems cloudy yellow...no discharge or crust around...I am sorry if I am bothring a lot...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2009, 02:28:56 PM »
Matty, with the best will on my part I can't call your behavior anything other than unwarrantedly obsessive.

Absolutely nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in any way HIV-specific. That's no surprise since your risk was low to begin with and ultimately I expect you will test negative.

In the meantime you should be discussing your "symptoms" with a doctor and not here. We've already told you what we think about the situation and the details you have presented here. You come from a very repressive background sexually. Experience tells me that is almost certainly playing some significant role in what is going on. I strongly urge you to see a counselor or other professional to discuss your situation.

There really isn't anything more we can say to you here.

Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2009, 12:42:14 PM »
Thnx! for the response Andy! it is been almost 20 days now...I am not sure if I already start experience ARS specific, After the full two weeks, I start to have a spleen pain and both sides pain, reactive gastron-intestinal influx, for a couple of days and a very sore throat, don't know if it is the result from the influx or not, and painful swallowing from time to time. No fever, but consistent headache and diarrhea from time to time. Unexplained fatigue has happened a couple of time through out the day, feeling that I want to sit or lie down for a while thing. No rash. It is I guess the only thing I don't have,. the fever and the rash... Can you have such symptoms of ARS, without fever and rash, but the others....I never got sick before, now i feel like i have some kind of thing going on, my body feels really stragne with feeling around my skin, my feet and my arms... Please comments, Am I going throught seroconversion now?

Thnx all...   

Online RapidRod

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2009, 12:45:24 PM »
Spleen pain? See your doctor for you symptoms and don't self diagnose yourself.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2009, 01:24:13 PM »
1. Nothing you are reporting is in any way HIV-specific.

2. I've repeatedly told you to discuss your symptoms with your doctor.

3. Coming back here with your laundry list of symptoms and expecting a diagnosis or something more from us doesn't get you any closer to an answer about your HIV status. Only your test result will give you that information.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2009, 01:29:42 PM »
Sry for bothering, so many Doctors are not familiar with such issues, in fact from the too much reading, I got better on that and I know here people know what they are talking about, that is why I keep coming. Is it at all possible to have ARS without fever and rash. My Doc told me to come back after 3 month... that is all.

Thnx again

Offline Ann

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2009, 01:40:15 PM »
Matty,

Instead of asking us - or your doctor - if your symptoms are hiv related, try asking your doctor what is causing your symptoms. If he's not addressing your concerns, see another doctor. Nobody can diagnose you over the internet.

We don't talk about symptoms here because neither symptoms or the LACK of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. Only testing at the appropriate time will.

Ann
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Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2009, 01:52:53 PM »
Thanx Ann and Andy!

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2009, 12:11:57 PM »
Hello evryone,

I am starting my 6th week this monday and will be 45 days next week. Like I said the doc around here don't really believe in the 6th week test and want me to wait another 6 more. Do any body knows where you can buy this home kit test online or anyother plc. I am not in a big city right now and not easy to find many clinics and pharmacies either. The last two weeks were a hell for me. there is a change in my skin and my vein under my skin is very prominent now that I see them all over my body. I have this cramp in my leg from my joint in my knees down to my feet and couldn't almost sleep unitl 3, literally for allmost 2 weeks now from being feeling uncomfortable. Any suggestions on the shopping of the home kit and also the symptoms...

tnx again,
 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #23 on: April 13, 2009, 12:38:17 PM »
You already know we don't get into diagnosing symptoms here. They are never a reliable means of knowing your HIV status and in your case there is certainly nothing HIV specific about what you are reporting.

You should be discussing them with a doctor if there are bothering you so much. What I see is that you are self-diagnosing everything through an HIV-jitters mindset. That means everything that happens or doesn't happen to your body is being (mis)interpreted as another sign of your worst fears coming true. Given your anxious state it's no surprise that you're sleeping so badly.

Ultimately I still expect you to come out of this ok.

Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #24 on: April 13, 2009, 12:41:20 PM »
Thnx andy, can you give a tip the whereabout of buying a home kit hiv test online and the kind? tnx

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #25 on: April 13, 2009, 12:46:11 PM »
Is there not an AIDS Service organization or hospital in your area where you can inquire?
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #26 on: April 13, 2009, 12:50:55 PM »
you get reference normally from you local clinic to hospital...seeing a doc in local clinic is even hard, you have to go through some 'naive' nurses. you got to break you leg or something to see a doc...by the way if you are thinking of coming to sweden, DON'T. I thought it would be easier for me to get it... But if it is not possible for you to suggest, no worries then, I will try to check with the student counsler

tnx !

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2009, 08:04:37 AM »
Hej everyone,

I think this is it, it is not like i am freak'n out, but it just happ'n, My skin, espically in my hands area start to scarached out, headache and fever is constant for the last 4 days now and feeling vry unconfortable and itchy around my groin, and penis area. I got fatigue for no reason and feel like lost all my enegy. I will start my 7th week tomorrow, hoping I will have a test next week. But with this all sympotms and the woman whom i was said she all the time feel tired, I really got scared, not only the result but even to get tested. I am in a mess now, just one quesion, did you ever see some one seroconvert after one time unprotected hetrosexual activity and you said all the thing you said to me in the post (Like the odds are you don't get it from this episode or hiv is frigal and hard to transmit from female to male) and turns out to be HIV + ? Really scared, tnx

Online RapidRod

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2009, 09:38:34 AM »
See a doctor if you have concerns. You don't have symptoms starting that late to be related to HIV.

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #29 on: May 04, 2009, 12:39:33 PM »
Hi,

I finally get together myself and able to go to the local clinic this morning ( I am in my 9th week) and ask my doc if it is possible to have the rapid test in the local clinic. All he told me that he can do right now is he would send the blood sample to the hospital and I should wait at least 7-10 days more for the result. (He they normally post the result to your home address). That will be my 11th week, then so I decided with him to do it at the end of 12-13 weeks. For the last 10 days, I have recurring fever in about every 3 to 4 hours and confusion with kind of memory lose. I have this feeling of fainting now and then. My blood vein is more prominent than ever and I have the sneezing and sinus kind of feeling around my chest and neck. I can account the pain around my chest to anxiety, but what bothers me is the skin change and the fainting and fatigue feeling with the recurring fever. I am over on my guilt thing, as Andy had suggested, the doctor and student consular help me on that. No other STD symptoms that I can contribute my symptoms to. Can any one feel the ARS symptoms as late as 9 weeks? I am so worried and wrecked...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #30 on: May 04, 2009, 12:49:42 PM »
There is nothing about what you are reporting symptomatically to suggest that HIV is your problem.

I certainly expect you to collect a negative result when you test.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #31 on: May 04, 2009, 01:19:32 PM »
Thn! Andy I am hoping for spring seasonal flu...cause I definitely have flu symptoms thing, but lasts very long than I expected. 3 more worrisome weeks to come... Good lesson, hoping that it will pass that way, plz cross finger 4 me

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2009, 11:47:56 AM »
Hello again,

Do you guys think HIV can cause anemia in 9 weeks? All my symptoms looks that I have that problem. I will see a doctor on Tuesday, but I have almost for 6 weeks now very pale skin and yellowish, my feces has been looked completely black two times, once last week and today too. I had the headache come and go and all the dizziness, loss of energy and weakness. I had sleeping problem for a while now and feeling loss touch in my skin.

tnx

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #33 on: May 09, 2009, 12:50:17 PM »
Nothing you continue to report symptomatically changes what we have (repeatedly) said to you.

Nothing you are reporting is in any way HIV-specific. Period.

And I still expect your test result to be negative when you test.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2009, 03:09:17 AM »
Hi all,

I couldn't wait anymore, so I went to the clinic yesterday mrn and they took blood sample for STD panel test. Except HIV, I got all the results in the afternoon. All were negative. I took hemoglobin test and it turns out to be normal. I have told I should wait for the HIV result for 2 more weeks. The doc told me that if everything is OK, I would get a letter, otherwise i would be phoned to come. I wake up this morning and i said to myslf what i was thinking yesterday in giving test. I am completely depressed now and feared. Bear with me guys/gals. Thnx!

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #35 on: May 15, 2009, 12:12:35 PM »
Hello,

I just got a call from my physician, just 5 days pass my test (calling too many times to them so they did the test sooner). It turns out that my result is negative. :)

The test has taken after 9 1/2 weeks, to be precise after 69 days. Is this something I should be rely on and go or it means not'n before 3 month mark? Thnx everyone for bearing with me, especially Andy

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #36 on: May 15, 2009, 01:37:16 PM »
That's a happy result and not one I am surprised about since your risk was very low.

However, to remove any doubts I suggest you do re-test at 13 weeks. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure to HIV. So I regard your getting another negative as a slam dunk. But given the level of your concern and anxiety about this experience I think it's a good idea to close the case with a test at 13 weeks.

And remember to always use condoms in the future. No exceptions.
Andy Velez

Offline Mattyman

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #37 on: June 01, 2009, 06:40:21 AM »
Thnx everyone for all your time and it is negative again. For every worriedwell like me, all you have to do it forget about your incidents and test 6 weeks and then at 12, if that is what it takes. I was laterally sick with all the symptoms, ARS or what ever there is. You can get ARS with stress, that is what I can say. Believe me when I say this, symptoms don't mean sh¤¤t, I mean nothing sh¤¤t, when it comes to first weeks of HIV staff, i was there I know what i am talking about.

Big time thnx for Andy and others with best wishes

Mat

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Hello ...
« Reply #38 on: June 01, 2009, 08:06:51 AM »
Thanks and good luck to you, Mat.
Andy Velez

 


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