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Author Topic: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared  (Read 7308 times)

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Offline someone12341

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Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« on: March 09, 2009, 12:40:05 PM »
Hi, I am a gay male and was at a party last night. A man jacked another guy off, touched the other guy's penis's head and rubbed it for about 15 - 20 seconds and there was some precum. then he came and touched my penis head at the urethra for about 3 seconds, and I pushed him off. Then I went and tried to pee, as my precum leaked out, but no urine came out.
Nothing else happened, this was all that happened. Are risks high of getting HIV? I'm so scared.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2009, 01:02:31 PM »
You are going to get the same answers that you received on the other forum. You were never at high risk or even a risk at all. Take the time to read the transmission lessons. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2009, 02:32:07 PM »
Masturbation and penis play of various sorts with or without precum, cum and anything else you throw into the mix are absolutely not risks for HIV transmission.

The only real and confirmed risks sexually for HIV transmission are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Everything else is strictly risky only theoretically.

Other STDs are easier to acquire so if you are or are becoming sexually active you ought to at least annually have a full STD panel done.

As far as your current concern there is no need to worry about HIV.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2009, 05:55:18 PM »
just double checking, is this even if his hands has some precum and touches my urethra opening?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2009, 06:24:10 PM »
Your question was answered. NO RISK..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2009, 07:16:18 PM »
Yes, even if his hands had been dripping with semen and touching your urethra. HIV is a fragile virus and begins to break down very quickly when exposed to the air.

Sexually the risk is all about unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. Really.

You are worrying needlessly.

Cheers.   
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2009, 08:36:45 PM »
Thanks Andy and Rod
I'm still wondering though, so even if this an immediate contact after his precum just got out of his penis, its still no risk? because CDC says that the precum still has hiv in it...(i am by no means questioning you guys, I'm just really worried and can't stop worrying about the stupid mistake I made).....

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2009, 08:39:16 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 08:17:52 AM »
Did the other guy insert a small syphon into your pee slit and pour HIV+ sperm into your penis? No? I didn't think so.

That's pretty much what would need to have occured for the situation to become risky.  Your penis being touched by precum or sperm is not a risk. Precum would have been a risk if you two had been having anal intercourse without a condom and he was inside of you. Which didn't happen.

So give it up and get on with your life. My guess is you maybe new to sexual activity or perhaps to m2m sex. As far a sexual risk for HIV is concerned, just always use condoms for anal intercourse whatever your role maybe and you will be well protected.

I also suggest you stay off of surfing the net as in your current mindset everything you read is just going to unnecessarily scare you some more.



Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2009, 12:19:43 PM »
Thanks Andy,
 I just can't stop thinking about him touching his precum then rubbed it on my urehtra..i know there is a theoretical risk,...but i am guessing its low? I'm so terrified.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2009, 01:03:44 PM »
Re-read what's been said to you repeatedly.

If you can't handle the emotions about this then see a counselor or other professional and discuss what was a completely non-risk situation for transmission.

You're on the verge of a Time Out here.
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2009, 10:04:50 AM »
Hey Ann and Andy, can you help anwer my questions from the messages? sorry about meesaging you guys, its just in the transmission guide it says that studies show that precum has high HIV viral content and can transfer through mucuous membrane, such as urethra lining....but you guys are all saying i'm at a no risk situation, is there a reason why i should stop worrying as his precum did come in contact with my urethra and when he rubbed it i'm pretty sure he touched the inside of it for a short time?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2009, 10:38:57 AM »
OK, I'm going to say this just one more. You did not have a risk. Being "touched" on the head of your penis is very, very different from having your urethra potentially exposed through unprotected intercourse. 

As I pointed out earlier the guy was hardly holding your urethra open with a funnel and pouring HIV+ sperm into it. Now THAT unlikely scenario is what I would call a risk.

Rubbing the outside of your penis and the head of your cock including touching the pee slit is absolutely not a risk. It's one of the many variations on sexual play including mutual masturbation and rubbing which are not risks. And if they were we would have known decades before today. Yes,  you are worrying needlessly. You don't have to believe us. Just because your anxious mind may continue to come up with more "what ifs" doesn't change the HIV science-based realities of your incident.

Whether you can let go of your unwarranted concern about this or not, I can tell you that you're not going to be allowed to come back again and again with the same worry. If you need to test for your peace of mind then do that. We've told you what we know for sure and there's nothing more we can do for you here.

It's time for you to get on with your life and/or get some professional help about this worry if you need to do that. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2009, 12:03:53 PM »
Thanks for the response Andy,
I understand that mutual rubbing is no risk, and I am just concerned as he opened my urethra a little bit while playing with it. I am trying really hard to get over the anxiety and believe that I am fine. Thanks for the support and I really appreciate what you do here.
I really hope I will be negative.

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2009, 11:21:58 AM »
Sorry Andy or Ann or Rod, but another question
as he rubbed my urethra, he opened it for a little while unintentionally as he was rubbing by but he went back and forth during the 3-5 seconds of contact rubbing my urethra, and his hands had some precum. would this increase the risk? or would you still call it a no risk situation?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2009, 11:27:38 AM »
Your concerns have been answered. Several times. There was no risk.

You are not going to be allowed to come back and have your hand held everytime another worry thought pops into your head about this non-risk incident. Get tested if you want and collect the inevitable negative result.

If you come back with more of the same you're getting a 28 day Time Out. Consider yourself to have been warned. 
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #16 on: March 17, 2009, 02:15:12 PM »
Hi andy/ann can you help me with this situation as I did more and more research, there seems to be some discrepancy on my case which is really scaring me.
I am just wondering since the last post, I've been getting a lot of "no risks". I did some research but many say that contact with mucosal membranes such as inner linings of urethra can cause transmission. I am wondering, with my case where precum came in contact with my urethra (for a short while he rubbed on it and it opened a bit but not a lot), why does this constitute as a no risk situation? The precum was rubbed on the otherguy for a short time before it came to my urethra from his hand. I just really want to know the rationale behind it so I can put my mind to rest, as recently i've been really crazy about my body's symptoms, every muscle ache and every joint ache. How is this any different from say having my urethra exposed to vaginal fluids in a women's vagina?
Thanks a lot for your understanding and patience with me, this is really hard for me and I've been seeking help outside of the internet.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2009, 02:45:29 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2009, 05:33:12 PM »
Some,

Hiv is a very fragile virus that is transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Sperm on a hand is OUTSIDE the body.

I suggest you stop "researching" because you're obviously only scaring yourself silly. Many other internet sites take a very hysterical view of hiv transmission - we don't. Our view on transmission is grounded in SCIENCE, not fear.

Keep posting about this NO RISK situation and you WILL be given a time out.  This is your LAST warning!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #19 on: March 17, 2009, 11:21:47 PM »
Thanks Ann, I'm still very scared of all this and feeling guilty but I will try to reread everything as my nurse practitioner here also says that the risks are very very low and close to zero. I was wondering if you think a test will be necessary and what time I should take the test..i'm really scared of a bad result to come and am trying to build up that courage necessary...

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2009, 08:15:09 AM »
Someone,

Why would you need to test over a NO RISK situation?

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out or you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2009, 11:27:30 PM »
Hi all,
  I recieved a negative EIA test on the 30th day after this exposure. Do I have to test further? I also have questions regarding to ARS, on the 5th week I had loose bowls and now on the 6th week I am feeling some minor sores under armpit. Could these be possible ARS?

Thanks a lot for your help.

Offline Ann

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2009, 06:26:32 AM »
Someone,

You ARE hiv negative and you do NOT need further testing. You never had a risk in the first place, as you've been told.

Keep posting about this NO RISK situation and you will be given a SECOND time out, one which will last for 56 days.

Please consider yourself warned, again for the LAST TIME.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2009, 02:16:12 PM »
Hi Ann and Andy,
  I understand that you guys are saying that this is a no risk situation even if my urethra (mucous membrane) was touched by pre-cum (possibly HIV contained). I thank you for your responses, but similar to other people in my shoes, I feel like I won't be satisfied until having seen an actual test since everyone says a different thing about my situation.

 I am seeing a phsyc right now to deal with this problem. Tomorrow will be the 6 week mark..three days ago I started feeling some sort of minor discomfort under my armpits..possilbe swollen lymph nodes...are they supposed to be noticable??? Would you recommend me taking a test tomorrow or at 7.5 weeks (the last day I can get free testing) for peace of mind? The test is EIA, i'm not sure what generation it is...but will it be/how reliable at all at 6 or 7.5 weeks? Please help me as I am really desperate..I won't post about this until hte 3 month mark after getting a reply to this post (I promise...except to report results if i test).

Thanks a whole lot

Offline Ann

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2009, 04:40:04 PM »
Someone,

You didn't have a risk. You've already tested negative and you do not need further testing.  Whatever's going on with your lymph nodes has nothing to do with hiv. You don't have hiv. We're not going to engage you anymore over this no-risk masturbation situation.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. This is your second time out so you know the score about creating a new account.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline someone12341

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Worried
« Reply #25 on: April 22, 2010, 04:11:51 PM »
Hi all, I made a terrible mistake yesterday in meeting with someone online. I went to bed with him, we had a lot of deep kissing, he used his saliva (a lot) to finger me, and he also rubbed his penis against my rectum. He tried to penetrate, but i stopped him in time. I've had active hemorrhoids from time to time, and I'm worried that some of his preseminal fluids and saliva rubbed into my rectum. He told me he tested a month ago and that I have nothing to worry about, but I don't know how much of that I can believe. Am I at risk and should I be worried?

Thanks, I  appreciate your help.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #26 on: April 22, 2010, 04:22:09 PM »
First of all, I have merged your previous thread with the newest one you have started. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

You've been coming here long enough to know that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Your having hemorrhoids and your guy having rubbed his penis against them is not a risk for HIV. Nor is anything else you have mentioned in your latest query.

So you are worrying needlessly. Just make sure that any guy you are having intercourse with is always wearing a condom. Do that and you will be well protected.

It's totally irrelevant what someone says about their HIV status or how great they look or any of that. Even a well meaning person may not know his accurate status. That's why you have to make sure the guy always wears a condom for intercourse.

There is no need for testing nor for further concern on your part about this latest incident.
Andy Velez

Offline someone12341

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #27 on: April 23, 2010, 09:33:40 PM »
I'm still scared but I think taht's just my second nature and guilt..the possibility of his penis with precum sliding around my rectum, and that he also opened it a little but I didn't feel him penetrate.........does that change anything? I'm sorry about this... so do i really not have to test ????  and thanks for your response I really appreciate your efforts on this website.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #28 on: April 24, 2010, 06:24:49 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Are risks high this way? please help i'm so scared
« Reply #29 on: April 24, 2010, 08:22:06 AM »
I've already quite clearly told you there was no risk and no need for testing.

You've already had 2 Time Outs. You need to be aware that if you continue to persist about a non-risk situation, a third ban will mean that you will be banned from the site permanently. You did not have a risk. And if you are going to be this anxious about having sex, then you ought to consider talking with a counselor or other professional to talk about the problem. We can't help you with that in this setting. 
Andy Velez

 


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