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Author Topic: I just tested positive 2/9/09  (Read 4631 times)

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Offline jampdx

  • Member
  • Posts: 89
I just tested positive 2/9/09
« on: February 12, 2009, 07:53:41 PM »
This forum looks like it will be helpful, as many others are feeling the exact same.  For me, I made a horrible choice in the beginning of January, after being lonely for so long and went home drunk, with a guy from a bar.  It's so difficult, because I was so careful and always used condoms before then. 

The last few days I've been reading everything I can read, asking lots of questions from my Dr, but all of the sudden today the logic side of my mind isn't powerful enough anymore, the shock is over and the true emotions of this reality are coming out.  I'm such a strong "take charge" person, yet today I feel like a little boy lost. 

I'm not trying to be mellow dramatic, but all of the sudden I don't know how to sort out these emotions or what is next.  I am blessed to have a Dr that specialized in HIV and is very kind.  Oh gosh Jacob, what did you do? ???
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Infected 1/6/2009
Positive 2/9/2009
3/8/2009:  CD4 603  VL f\'d up by lab and having to redraw
4/7/2009 CD4 650 VL 348
6/24/2009 cd4 964 VL 850
9/26/2009 CD4 546 VL 822
7/22/13 CD4 1080 VL 2,220

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,899
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2009, 08:30:31 PM »
Welcome to the forums Jacob. These forums are a good place for information, supports and, well, just to let off steam.

I am assuming that you've done the confirming Western Blot test, and having a good doctor you can trust is a very important thing. So it's great that you have that covered.

One thing I have been trying to learn since my diagnosis is let go - what I mean is to let go of all the remorse and regards, and try not to let questions like "why would you be so stupid" etc affecting me so much anymore. Do you have any close friends/family members you can talk to? It's also a good idea to find a local support group and even a counselor so that you can have someone to talk and relate to when you feel those negative emotions bubbling.

Just do it step by step - we have all gone through this and in my case I find that most of the times when I felt down and out, just a shoulder to lean on could help enormous. Try not to "take charge" of everything, because no one can...

Wish you the best, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline jampdx

  • Member
  • Posts: 89
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2009, 06:29:02 AM »
Thank you for your message Shaun!

I appreciate al input.  It's so hard to mentally sort this all out and not blaming is VERY difficult.  Reading you say that helped me put things in perspective though.

Local support is my next step. I'm sure having that is invaluable.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Infected 1/6/2009
Positive 2/9/2009
3/8/2009:  CD4 603  VL f\'d up by lab and having to redraw
4/7/2009 CD4 650 VL 348
6/24/2009 cd4 964 VL 850
9/26/2009 CD4 546 VL 822
7/22/13 CD4 1080 VL 2,220

Offline jansen

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2009, 07:32:20 AM »
Hi there!

This is exactly the same date that my partner who's in Singapore right now have been told that he's

exposed to HIV virus. He undergo three test and doctors suspect him that he has. But a confirmation

result will be available after three weeks. He was there to look for employment, and it shocked him

when they told him the result, but they didn't show it to him. I told him to come home and let the

doctor here takes care of him. He'll come home by  Monday and I'm really confused how he get it, since

both of us are monogamous and conservative. i don't know what is the next step to do. Since, I'm his

partner I think I'm at risk and should be tested. Please ventilate me what to do. 

Thanks and it's good your forum are helping people.

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2009, 08:01:13 AM »
Welcome, Jacob -- glad you found our forums!

I'm a big believer in knowledge=power (and good health), and a great place to start are our AIDSmeds lessons.  Just start on this page, and use keep clicking the next button at the bottom of each page (or use the lesson index in the right margin to browse other sections):


Peter (living with HIV since 1983)

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 29,923
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2009, 12:52:26 PM »
Well, what's done is done, Jacob. We're all human and sometimes we make mistakes. We're sorry you have to be here and we're also glad to be of help and support to you.

That's very good news that you have a knowledgeable doctor with whom you have begun a good working partnership. That's one of the best tools you can have for staying healthy.  Gradually you are going to become well informed about everything you need to know.

Reading those lessons that Peter mentioned to you is a good place to start. You'll find lots of support here so ask questions and just talk about anything that's on your mind.

Andy Velez

Offline jampdx

  • Member
  • Posts: 89
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2009, 05:09:46 PM »
Thank you everyone.  Just contact with others that get it is so helpful.

Jansen-  I can't imagine and I am so sorry.  You must be at your wits end.

Peter - Your CD4 counts are AMAZING.  We need to talk. ;)

Andy - Thank you for the kind words/advise.  That "human" part sometimes is dangerous. ;)
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Infected 1/6/2009
Positive 2/9/2009
3/8/2009:  CD4 603  VL f\'d up by lab and having to redraw
4/7/2009 CD4 650 VL 348
6/24/2009 cd4 964 VL 850
9/26/2009 CD4 546 VL 822
7/22/13 CD4 1080 VL 2,220

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2009, 07:31:42 AM »
Hi Jacob,

Just wanted to say "welcome". And I love your pic - so cheerful! Who's the little guy?

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline xyahka

  • Member
  • Posts: 799
  • Dance together!! aha!! aha!! I like it!!
Re: I just tested positive 2/9/09
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2009, 11:17:05 AM »
Hi Jacob, welcome. You look very young.

Well... it will take you some time but you will see... slowly you will move forward. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all do mistakes but we all could get over them and you will do it as well.


Juan Carlos
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...


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