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Author Topic: How much risk am I in?  (Read 18446 times)

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Offline justinsucks

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How much risk am I in?
« on: February 13, 2009, 12:40:52 AM »
I fucked a guy 11 days, 21 hours, 39 min ago.  He told me he was sure that he was clean and that he was tested in Dec.  I felt I could trust him, so I fucked him bareback.  He had just douched (not sure if that reduced the risk).  I rimmed him, then fucked him nonstop till I came inside his ass, then I left. I fucked him I'd say around 10 min.  I didn't suck him he didn't suck me, it was quick because his roommate was going to be home soon.  That's all we did.  A few days ago I was talking to my poz friend and I told him about the guy I met.  He told me that the guy I met is hiv+ and that he lied to me about being neg!  Yes, I trust my friend.  He said that the guy I met wanted my hiv+ friend to breed him.

I know its less risky to top than to bottom bare.  I'm wondering how much risk I was in.  I don't have any STD's and I did not have any cuts or anything on my dick.  I'm cut (I know its a bit more risky if you're uncut).  The guy seemed like an experienced bottom.  He was not tight.  I doubt there where any tears in his ass.

Was the risk high enough that I should get a NAT hiv test?  Should I just wait and get tested in a month?  Then again each month for the next 8 months?  I'm scared to death about having fucked a poz guy bareback.  But I don't know if its worth it to pay to get the NAT test done.  Is there a place where the NAT test is free?

Since this guy lied to me about his status, is that illegal?
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 12:58:50 AM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2009, 03:30:53 AM »
Are you stupid or what? Of course you had a risk. Get tested at 3 months and your results will be conclusive.

Offline anniebc

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2009, 03:37:17 AM »
You need to remember this...to agree to have unprotected sex is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.

The earliest you can test is six weeks past the last incident.

The vast majority of people who are going to seroconvert and test positive will do so by six weeks, and a six week negative result is unlikely to change, but it must be confirmed at three months, there are no short-cuts to conclusively knowing your hiv status.

You also need to test for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are much easier to transmit than hiv. You can test for most of these at around two weeks following unprotected sex.

Use condoms at all times ..NO EXCEPTION.

Jan
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Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2009, 04:14:21 AM »
Are you stupid or what? Of course you had a risk. Get tested at 3 months and your results will be conclusive.

I know I'm at risk now, I'm wondering how much.  I didn't ask IF, I asked how much.  A friend of mine fucked his hiv+ bf bareback for over a year and he didn't get it because he was just the top.  Before doing it he talked to his doctor about how you get infected with hiv.  The doctor didn't say "its safe to bareback if you just top," he told him how hiv was spread and from that info my friend on his own decided to bareback his hiv+ bf.  He told him the main ways to get it are from blood and cum.  The bottom is at extreme risk since the top is depositing bodily fluids (precum, cum) in the bottom.  But the top is at significantly less risk.  He fucked him bb for over a year and he's still neg. He had this bf years ago, so its safe to say he did not get it after fucking him on a regular basis for over a year.  I'm not saying I'm condoning what he did.  It was his decision, although I thought he was crazy at the time.  Still do, but, he didn't get it though from fucking his bf bareback on a regular basis for over a year.  He was never the bottom, just the top.

Another friend of mine that is a total top (a guy that only tops), said that his fuck buddy (a guy he has sex with on a regular basis, but is not his bf) tested positive.  Fuck buddies are not exclusive, so the bottom was with other guys.  He was scared and got tested.  He also did not get it from just being a top.

In the 80's all porn was bareback.  Almost all the gay porn stars from that era ended up with aids.  They where all tops and bottoms in porn.  Jeff Stryker is one of the few gay porn stars from that time that only topped.  He must have fucked tons of hiv+ guys over all those years he did bareback gay porn, and since he just topped, he also did not get it.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 04:46:09 AM by justinsucks »

Offline Ann

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2009, 07:21:07 AM »
Justin,

There are plenty of hiv positive "total tops" in the other section of the forum. I'm sure they'd be shaking their heads in "total dismay" at you.

You have had a risk. Asking precisely "how much" risk is like asking how long is a piece of string. Hopefully you'll be ok, but only testing will tell.

Like it or not, you need to start using condoms with ANYONE. Asking a person's hiv status doesn't always work because some will lie and some only ASSUME they're hiv negative. You keep thinking you can serosort as an hiv negative man and you won't stay hiv negative for long. Trust me. You will  end up positive, sooner or later. If you've been barebackinig with others and not testing regularly, for all you know you might be positive already.

Good luck with the testing.

Ann
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Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2009, 05:33:57 PM »
I get tested every 3 months.  I don't bareback lots of guys, I'm just slightly more open to the idea if i just top and the guy was tested recently.  I only bottom bare if I'm in an LTR.  I don't enjoy bottoming, so even if I'm in an LTR I rarely bottom.  Are those total tops sure they got it from just being the top, or do they occasionally bottom bare?  Most guys that say they are tops do bottom sometimes.   A true total top is rare.

I also know another guy that's 31 now.  He's been fucking guys bare since he was a teen.  He said he fucked every guy that let him bare.  He only tops though.  I saw him as a crazy guy that I would never be with.  He said that since he had fucked so many guys bareback over the years that he was shocked that he was still neg.  He though he might be immune.  The reason he probably doesn't have it is because he only topped.

Also, this incident scared me.  I won't trust anyone anymore.  I'll only do it bare with a guy I've been with for a long time that I feel I can fully trust.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 05:38:06 PM by justinsucks »

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2009, 05:37:37 PM »
I found this on wikipedia. Is it accurate:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV_test#Window_period
Window period

Antibody tests may give false negative (no antibodies were detected despite HIV being present) results during the window period, an interval of three weeks to six months between the time of HIV infection and the production of measurable antibodies to HIV seroconversion. Most people develop detectable antibodies approximately 30 days after infection, although some seroconvert later. The vast majority of people (99%) have detectable antibodies by three months after HIV infection; a six-month window is extremely rare with modern antibody testing.[6] During the window period, an infected person can transmit HIV to others although their HIV infection may not be detectable with an antibody test. Antiretroviral therapy during the window period can delay the formation of antibodies and extend the window period beyond 12 months.[7]. This was not the case with patients that underwent treatment with post exposure prophylaxis (PEP). Those patients must take ELISA tests at various intervals after the usual 28 day course of treatment, sometimes extending outside of the conservative window period of 6 months. Antibody tests may also yield false negative results in patients with X-linked agammaglobulinemia; other diagnostic tests should be used in such patients.
Three instances of delayed HIV seroconversion occurring in health-care workers have been reported;[8] in these instances, the health-care workers[9] tested negative for HIV antibodies greater than 6 months postexposure but were seropositive within 12 months after the exposure.[10] DNA sequencing confirmed the source of infection in one instance. Two of the delayed seroconversions were associated with simultaneous exposure to hepatitis C virus (HCV). In one case, co-infection was associated with a rapidly fatal HCV disease course; however, it is not known whether HCV directly influences the risk for or course of HIV infection or is a marker for other exposure-related factors.

« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 05:40:44 PM by justinsucks »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2009, 05:56:11 PM »
For starters you might stop using the term "clean" in reference to whether someone is HIV+ or not. Believe me, it's very offensive to people who are HIV+. They aren't dirty. They just have a virus.

As for you thinking you can safely screw without a condom when you are with someone you "trust," boy have you got a mistaken idea of how to stay HIV negative. Even well intentioned people don't always know their accurate HIV status. I can't emphasize strongly enough that you need to be using a condom everytime until if and when you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have tested negative at an appropriate time.

Otherwise whomever is inserting needs to be weaing a latex condom. Your friend who boasts about years of unprotected activity has luckily scooted by safely. You know you only have to get infected once and then it's forever. So that kind of rather cavalier cocksmanship doesn't cut it here. Use condoms. Everytime. Period.  
Andy Velez

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2009, 08:10:38 PM »
As for you thinking you can safely screw without a condom when you are with someone you "trust," boy have you got a mistaken idea of how to stay HIV negative. Even well intentioned people don't always know their accurate HIV status. I can't emphasize strongly enough that you need to be using a condom everytime until if and when you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have tested negative at an appropriate time.

Otherwise whomever is inserting needs to be weaing a latex condom. Your friend who boasts about years of unprotected activity has luckily scooted by safely. You know you only have to get infected once and then it's forever. So that kind of rather cavalier cocksmanship doesn't cut it here. Use condoms. Everytime. Period.  

The risk factor difference in bottoming and topping is significant.  For topping bare, I'm a little more lenient.  For bottoming bare, that I'm very strict on, since the risk is extreme.  I've only done that with 2 guys.  One was a virgin, and the other is in the army. He doesn't have sex while in Iraq, and they get tested in the army.  Before I let him top me bare I had him take a home hiv test, which I had him take in front of me, and I mailed in the results myself.  Only after that did I let him do me bare.  We where together for around 2 year.  I did trust him.

Over the years I've noticed that all the bottoms that I know that are into bareback sex are hiv+, but the very few guys that only top are neg.  And I don't mean guys that say they are tops, since most tops from time to time bottom bare.  I mean guys that strictly only top and never bottom.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2009, 08:15:51 PM »
Keep topping unprotected and we'll see you in the Living With Forum. Hope you have good insurance and good finances. Just remember sex lasts for minutes and HIV lasts a life time.

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2009, 09:09:27 PM »
Keep topping unprotected and we'll see you in the Living With Forum. Hope you have good insurance and good finances. Just remember sex lasts for minutes and HIV lasts a life time.

I don't top bare often.  Only in a few cases I take a calculated risk when I top.

Also, after this, if I test neg, I'm going to be even more careful. 
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 09:25:23 PM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2009, 09:25:21 PM »
I don't see any reason for you to be on this forum. You know it all, we've given you the facts and I'm sure you know where the Living With Forum is. Unless you change your ways of thinking that's where you'll be.

Offline HIVworker

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2009, 09:33:55 PM »
While you know many people who have had sex as "TOPS" only and they haven't got HIV, then good for them. There might be many reasons for that. Maybe they are CCR5 Delta-32 for example. Maybe there are other reasons such as a low viral load in the infected "Bottom"

However, unprotected anal sex with someone with HIV is risky, regardless of the method. It is true that "Bottom" anal sex is much more risky than "Top" sex. However, it does happen. I'm not sure if you are trying to convince us or yourself. It is less risky than HIV-infected top to HIV-negative bottom, but it does happen from "Top" to "Bottom".


R
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 09:41:07 PM by HIVworker »
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline Ann

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2009, 06:29:29 AM »
Justin,

I know plenty of hiv positive men who not only never bottomed, but they've never had anal and never sucked cock. They got it through vaginal topping, which is supposedly even less risky than anal topping. Yet they're still hiv positive.

Unless you start using condoms when bottoming OR topping, unless you're in a securely monogamous relationship and have BOTH tested negative TOGETHER, then chances are pretty damned good that you're going to end up positive.

That's just the way it is. You can attempt to convince yourself otherwise all you like, but that isn't going to change the cold, hard facts.

Again, good luck with the test. If you do test negative, I hope you wise up and protect your negative status. Otherwise, see you at the clinic when you're fretting about your viral load and CD4 counts and how you're going to pay for your meds.

Ann

PS - re-reading your thread, I noticed you asked about the legality of him lying to you about his status. Instead of worrying about that, I suggest you take responsibility for your OWN actions. After all, he didn't FORCE you to stick your unprotected cock into his ass. That was YOUR decision and YOUR decision alone. It's up to you to protect your hiv status and no one else.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2009, 07:06:21 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2009, 06:59:56 PM »
While you know many people who have had sex as "TOPS" only and they haven't got HIV, then good for them. There might be many reasons for that. Maybe they are CCR5 Delta-32 for example. Maybe there are other reasons such as a low viral load in the infected "Bottom"

However, unprotected anal sex with someone with HIV is risky, regardless of the method. It is true that "Bottom" anal sex is much more risky than "Top" sex. However, it does happen. I'm not sure if you are trying to convince us or yourself. It is less risky than HIV-infected top to HIV-negative bottom, but it does happen from "Top" to "Bottom".


R

I wasn't trying to convince anyone.  I wanted some informed feedback on what I was saying.  Just because I know a few tops that didn't get it from tons of bareback topping doesn't mean I'm comfortable with topping bare.  You gave me an informed reply, thanks.

As for me, I didn't think this had affected me because I didn't do bare sex often.  I occasionally did do it bare if the guy had just been tested, I felt I could trust him and if I was just the top.  But, I can't even do that anymore.  Last night a friend of mine wanted me to fuck him bare and I almost felt a feeling of disgust.  A few minutes of hot sex is not worth worrying for 3 months.  Bare sex for me will now be limited to either one guy that I'm monogamous with, or I just won't do it.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 07:02:45 PM by justinsucks »

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2009, 07:14:50 PM »
PS - re-reading your thread, I noticed you asked about the legality of him lying to you about his status. Instead of worrying about that, I suggest you take responsibility for your OWN actions. After all, he didn't FORCE you to stick your unprotected cock into his ass. That was YOUR decision and YOUR decision alone. It's up to you to protect your hiv status and no one else.

I had heard it was a felony to lie about your HIV status, but I guess that wasn't true.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2009, 07:21:21 PM »
You can't sue anyone for your ignorance.

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2009, 07:32:06 PM »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2009, 07:36:35 PM »
Don't want to hear anymore of your BS. You knew that you needed to use a condom when having anal sex and YOU elected not to use a condom. If you contract HIV it's your fault and no one elses.

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2009, 07:40:58 PM »
Don't want to hear anymore of your BS. You knew that you needed to use a condom when having anal sex and YOU elected not to use a condom. If you contract HIV it's your fault and no one elses.

Yes and no.  This guy flat out lied.  I asked him and he said he was sure he was clean.  In fact, he even said he was tested in December and that he tested neg.  If I would have known he was hiv+, I would not have had sex with him.   I dunno why you are defending someone that goes around lying to people saying he's neg to get people infected. 

The NYtimes article I posted was about a similar guy, and he was sued on felony charges.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 07:43:40 PM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2009, 07:45:18 PM »
I'm not going to defend you for your ignorance. You didn't go with him to test so you didn't know if he was HIV positive or not so you should have used a condom. You wasn't forced into anything.

Offline anniebc

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2009, 08:46:38 PM »
A little reminder:

To agree to have unprotected sex is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI...this includes HIV...when it comes to sex people will lie to get what they want..a sad fact but true, and as you have been told several times it's up to you to take care of your own health regardless of what this guy told you....ever heard the saying "It takes two to tango"

Jan
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Offline HIVworker

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #22 on: February 17, 2009, 11:30:11 PM »
Please don't use the word 'clean' when you talk about someone's HIV or STD status. That's a bit insulting to suggest that you are 'dirty' if you have something. I have had cold sores...so I have a herpes infection in my head. That makes me dirty? If so, me and 80% of the planet.
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2009, 04:37:06 AM »
Please don't use the word 'clean' when you talk about someone's HIV or STD status. That's a bit insulting to suggest that you are 'dirty' if you have something. I have had cold sores...so I have a herpes infection in my head. That makes me dirty? If so, me and 80% of the planet.

Sorry, about 90% of gay guys use that term.  I'll try to avoid using it.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2009, 08:00:10 AM »
A little reminder:

To agree to have unprotected sex is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI...this includes HIV...when it comes to sex people will lie to get what they want..a sad fact but true, and as you have been told several times it's up to you to take care of your own health regardless of what this guy told you....ever heard the saying "It takes two to tango"

Jan


...and even well-intentioned persons for various reasons sometimes don't accurately know their HIV status. Which is why we get back to that using a condom everytime is the safer thing to do until if and when you find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have reliably tested negative at the same time. It's not complicated but it does require self-control and vigilance.
Andy Velez

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #25 on: March 02, 2009, 08:34:38 PM »
Its been 30 days now.  I tested negative.  I know its still VERY early, but at least its something.  Most people on average test positive in the first 30 days, so its something at least.

I talked to a friend over the weekend that I had sex with 2 years ago.  He's now poz from a guy that also lied to him.  The guy had on his profile "hiv negative," and assured him that he had recently been tested.  They had sex on June 26, 2008, July & August where fine, but in September he tested positive. Going by days, he said that around day 45 he was neg still, but around day 65 is when he became poz. In the last 2 years he had only been with 2 guys, he made the other guy get tested 3 times and he was neg, so he knew the guy he met online gave it to him.  Worst of all, he still has "hiv negative" on his profile.  He gets off on lying to guys and making them poz.  Its amazing how common this is.  I'm assuming poz guys feel a rush having sex with neg guys and knowing they are giving it to them.  This is horrible.  The fact that I ran into a guy like that, and so did my friend shows how common this is.  And both those guys are still out doing the same thing, lying to have bare sex with neg guys. 
« Last Edit: March 02, 2009, 08:41:22 PM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #26 on: March 02, 2009, 08:43:00 PM »
Quote
I'm assuming poz guys feel a rush having sex with neg guys and knowing they are giving it to them.
You are full of rude and untrue statements.

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2009, 08:45:33 PM »
You are full of rude and untrue statements.

I was talking about the guys that purposely lie to have sex with neg guys.  Why do they do that?  The quote you quoted is my theory on why they do that.  I don't know why.  Its a guess.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2009, 08:47:23 PM by justinsucks »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2009, 08:47:57 PM »
Yes, it is reprehensible that some people lie about their positive status and then have unprotected intercourse.

But you will only be in a vulnerable position if you consent to have unprotected anal intercourse. And ultimately you are the one who's responsbile for your own health. So let's keep the focus where it needs to be here, not on someone else's bad, but on you behaving responsibly by always using a condom when you have intercourse. No exceptions, no stories about I'm sure he's a virgin, he's such a good guy, it was so hot, blah blah blah.  

Remember, everytime you have unprotected anal you are risking your life and are implicitly saying that you so want to fuck the guy without a condom that you're willing to risk your life to do it. It's just as simple and as stark as that.

  
Andy Velez

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #29 on: March 21, 2009, 09:22:22 PM »
Day 49, I tested neg!  I know, still early, but I at least feel a little better now.  When I think about it too much I can't even sleep :(  I plan to get tested again at Day 65 - 70.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2009, 09:44:43 PM by justinsucks »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2009, 08:28:19 AM »
Given all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a risk, a negative at 49 days is more than a little reassuring. It's an indication that you are very likely to continue to test negative.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2010, 07:17:20 PM »
Hi, I just wanted to update my situation.  Its now been 12 months and I'm still neg.  Thank god :)

Is it still possible I could test positive?  Some people told me that it could take years for me to test positive. Is that true?  How rare is it to test positive years after a risk?
« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 07:32:46 PM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2010, 07:37:33 PM »
Hi, I just wanted to update my situation.  Its now been 12 months and I'm still neg.  Thank god :)

Is it still possible I could test positive?  Some people told me that it could take years for me to test positive. Is that true?  How rare is it to test positive years after a risk?
No it doesn't take years. You don't have HIV.

Offline Ann

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2010, 05:34:33 AM »
Justin,

"Some people" don't know what the hell they're talking about. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will test positive by six weeks, and everyone who have actually been infected will test positive by three months.

As long as you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, you will continue to test negative. It really is that simple!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline justinsucks

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Am I at risk?
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2010, 02:52:57 AM »
I'm friends with an hiv+ guy.  I had a horrible scare awhile back.  With my friend I'm very careful. But, now I'm wondering if I was at risk.  I suck him.  I don't swallow, but I do get his precum in my mouth.  For anal, we use condoms.  I rim him also.  Am I in any risk by sucking him and rimming him?  We also kiss, but I know there's no risk in that.  I know that by using condoms I'm not at risk, but I'm starting to get scared.  He also gives me facials sometimes.  Can I get hiv if I get cum in my eye?  Also, if a guy spanks you pretty hard during sex, and then he shots his load on your ass. Is that risky?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am I at risk?
« Reply #35 on: May 30, 2010, 03:18:17 AM »
Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline justinsucks

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Re: Am I at risk?
« Reply #36 on: May 30, 2010, 03:20:03 AM »
That's a completely different guy and this is a completely different experience.

Thread 1: Random guy I met.  He told me he was neg, that he was sure he was neg, so I fucked him bareback.

Thread 2: Is about a friend of mine that is hiv+.  I started to really like him and now we have sex.  Safe sex, but I'm wondering how safe is the "safe sex" I have with him.

Its two very different situations with two different guys.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2010, 03:24:26 AM by justinsucks »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am I at risk?
« Reply #37 on: May 30, 2010, 03:23:53 AM »
That's a completely different guy and this is a completely different experience.

And it completely doesn't matter. From the  Welcome Thread you've been asked to read on more than one occasion:

Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

MtD

Offline justinsucks

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Re: Am I at risk?
« Reply #38 on: May 30, 2010, 03:27:02 AM »
Ok, I thought it meant "thoughts" or updates on the original topic.  Its kinda odd posting in that old thread.  That's in my past and I'd rather not have to remember that vile creature.

But, if you must, you can merge the threads.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am I at risk?
« Reply #39 on: May 30, 2010, 03:30:36 AM »
Ok, I thought it meant "thoughts" or updates on the original topic.  Its kinda odd posting in that old thread.  That's in my past and I'd rather not have to remember that vile creature.

But, if you must, you can merge the threads.


If you want your question(s) answered now, you must repost in your original thread. A moderator will merge your threads presently.

Also the more you post in this second illegal thread, the more savagely Ann is going to rip you when she logs on in a few hours.

Ya dig?

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #40 on: May 30, 2010, 04:34:25 PM »
You don't have to like or understand the rule, but you do have to follow it. That means all entries go into this same thread where I have merged your threads.

As long as the insertive partner consistently uses condoms if you are having anal intercourse, you will be effectively protected. Which you have been coming here long enough to know that by now. Lots of sero-discordant couples have lots of sex and protect the sero-negative partner by always using condoms. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.

Rimming is not a risk for HIV. Sucking is theoretically a risk but in the real world of HIV claims of having been infected in that manner don't hold up under careful scrutiny. Your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2010, 04:38:14 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #41 on: May 31, 2010, 04:49:37 AM »
Ok, but I'm just trying to be as careful as possible. 

I heard that you can get hiv if a guy gives you a facial and you get cum in your eye.  Is this true?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #42 on: May 31, 2010, 04:52:22 AM »
Ok, but I'm just trying to be as careful as possible. 

I heard that you can get hiv if a guy gives you a facial and you get cum in your eye.  Is this true?

No. There are no documented cases of HIV transmission following getting semen in the eye. Tears contain a substance called lysozyme which is known to inhibit HIV.

MtD

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #43 on: June 01, 2010, 01:27:09 AM »
ok, thanks everyone for your info :)

Its difficult to figure out what's true and what isn't.  I know a guy that says that his friend got it from getting cum in his eye.   He gave an hiv+ guy a blow job and a facial, he says he got it from that.   But, if you can't get it that way, he likely got it from another guy and he blames it on the facial guy.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2010, 01:30:25 AM by justinsucks »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #44 on: June 01, 2010, 02:22:08 AM »
When I have a problem figuring out what is true and what is not, and I have the option to believe a guy who has a friend, or repeatable, first tiered, peer-reviewed science... well, I have to put my trust somewhere. If you want to believe anecdote, second-hand at that, over science, then I recommend you turn to your friend for medical advise.

Sorry to sound harsh, but BS like your "friend's friend" espouses is one of the reasons there is still stigma surrounding HIV. Most likely, your friend's friend (assuming that's the reality) got HIV (assuming he did) from asking a sexual partner if he was "clean," then having unprotected sex based on that answer.

Because these days more than ever, a person with HIV does not look sick. Or act sick. And might not even know his status, thanks to the stupid and self-defeating "don't ask/don't tell" policy in the gay community as regards HIV.

Thing is, sex is called an "adult" activity not because ONLY adults can have it. It's called that because it brings about adult responsibilities. And foremost among THOSE is taking PERSONAL responsibility for YOUR health.

Wear a condom for penetrative sex and you will avoid HIV. It really IS that simple.

You might not avoid herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, HPV (genital warts) and a dozen other pathogens. But you WILL avoid HIV.

BTW, I disagree that it is "difficult" to know what is true and what is not. Science trumps anecdote, especially in such a critical and well-tested arena such as HIV transmission theory. It is NOT difficult.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #45 on: July 20, 2010, 05:46:16 AM »
Ok, I just wanted to ask on here because he seemed to believe what he was saying and I was unsure.  I've been using condoms with him this entire time and I'm still neg.

Is it risky to swallow?

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #46 on: July 20, 2010, 06:23:12 AM »
Ok, now I'm going to ask stuff that's going to cause me to get a beat down here.  But, I'd appreciate if you guys just gave me your informed reply.  Yes, I know its best to never have unsafe sex, but the reality is that a lot (and I mean A LOT of guys do sometimes have bareback sex).  So, I'm being real here.  I usually have safe sex, but I do something have bareback sex. I'm very selective over who I do it bb with.  Over the past year I've read a lot online about hiv and have talked to lots of guys about it also.  I want you to tell me what's true and what isn't.  IF I do decide to have bareback sex, I'd like to minimize the risk as much as possible.  So, out of these, what's accurate:

1) When a guy tops bareback, the riskiest moment is when the guy cums in the bottom.  When the guy cums its the only time the urethra is open and the only time the hiv virus can enter via the urethra.  HIV is passed on only by blood and cum.  The top is only at risk if the hiv virus has a place to enter, meaning a small cut on your cock (could be from shaving your pubes) or another std.  The hiv virus can only enter via the urethra if you cum in the bottom.  The risk is higher for uncut guys, since their foreskin is pulled during hard sex causing small tears in the foreskin.  So, if the guy doesn't cum in the bottom, he's cut, doesn't have any other std's and no cuts on his cock, then the risk for the top is very small.  Since hiv can only be passed on via blood & cum.

2) I met a guy online that's 27.  He says he's been having bb sex on a regular basis with random hookups since he was a teen.  He's neg because he says that he never lets the guy cum in him and because he immediately douches right after sex.  He says the hiv virus is fragile and that douching right after sex will likely flush anything out.  He says he's been fucked by over 500 guys bareback and is neg due to this method.

3) Its best to never pound the guy hard.  Its the riskiest sex because that causes more small tears than usual in the guys ass.

Guys, I'm trying to minimize the risk as much as possible because the reality is that almost all gay guys sometimes do it bare.  We know we shouldn't, but we sometimes do.  If I choose to do it (very rare), I want to minimize the risk as much as possible.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2010, 06:28:27 AM by justinsucks »

Offline Ann

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #47 on: July 20, 2010, 08:58:06 AM »
Justin,

Wow, so those are the popular myths going around in your area? Yes, myths. The only one that is remotely correct is number three.

I take it you're a top. You need to wake up and realise that tops can become infected when not using a condom. Are you aware that more women world-wide have this virus than men? Yes, we women could be considered bottoms, but the majority of men who have infected us are STRAIGHT and could be considered total tops. And a lot of those men only have vaginal intercourse. Wise up already, or you'll be joining us in the I Just Tested Poz forum.

1. It doesn't matter if you cum or not. I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. Every time you thrust in, the head of your cock is pulled backwards and your urethra is exposed. Try it with your hand, you'll see what I mean. 

A top is at a higher risk if he has a cut on his penis, but it is WRONG to say that this is the only time he is at risk. He's at risk every time he sticks his dick into someone else's anus or vagina without a condom on.

An uncut guy is at higher risk because of the type of cell that lines the inner portion of the foreskin - this is the bit that is hidden when he doesn't have a hard-on and his foreskin is folded over the head. If he also has cuts on his foreskin, that increases his risk. The urethra also has a type of cell that hiv can infect.

2. Yeah, right. When was the last time this lad had an hiv test? Because if he continues on this way, he's going to be testing poz sooner rather than later. Sounds to me like he's big on wishful thinking.

Just because he doesn't let anyone cum in him doesn't mean he's side-stepping risk. Pre-cum is also infectious. He's deluding himself.

He's also deluding himself with the douching thing. That's more likely to force hiv into his bloodstream, should it be present.

3. Any rough sex that draws blood will increase your risk, top or bottom.

You want to minimise your risk? START USING CONDOMS, EVERY TIME, NO EXCEPTIONS. You know, I really want to shake you, spank your bottom and send you to bed without your supper. You're playing with fire and YOU WILL BE BURNT. You can have all the sex you want with as many different partners as you want, BUT USE A GODDAMN CONDOM!!!!

Yeah, I know, condoms suck. But when you end up poz, you're going to have to use them every time unless you know for certain that your partner is also poz. This is something I and every other poz person has to deal with - we no longer have that choice.

And let me caution you about people who claim to be negative. Many of them don't accurately know their status. And yes, sometimes people lie. That's the way of the world.

Please - protect yourself every time. I don't want to see you in I Just Tested Poz.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline justinsucks

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #48 on: May 29, 2011, 06:41:54 AM »
I have a question. I recently read that the instant tests are less likely to pick up an early infection, that a blood test that's sent to a lab is the best way to get tested.   Is this true?  Would an instant test be more likely to give a false negative for an early infection?

I'm currently not in any risk, but I do still get tested every 3-6 months.  If the blood test is more accurate, I'd rather take that test.

Also, how accurate is the test that uses the Biomerieux Vironostika® HIV-1 Microelisa System.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 06:46:42 AM by justinsucks »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How much risk am I in?
« Reply #49 on: May 29, 2011, 07:00:24 AM »
Rapid test are just as reliable done at the proper time. You can't blame the test if you don't follow the instructions.

 


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