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Author Topic: Finding Myself  (Read 2014 times)

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Offline postivelybeautiful27

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Finding Myself
« on: February 02, 2009, 08:52:19 PM »
First off thanks for all the support that forum members have given to me, I understand that it is best to let go and go our separate ways so i am moving on trying to find the person i lost so long ago. I need to find my faith in god and  happiness inside of me and let god handle my husband vengeance's is mine said the lord. As i sit here and pray for strength i think about how i got here in my life and the truth is even before i met my husband i was miserable i grew up a small town full of bigots, if your weren't like them you were ridiculed and over the years i have let them suck the life out of me, and after all i have been through i am back here in the Pitt's of hell. But this is were i need to be i tried to run , nut this place will not destroy me i have been away i know this not the world, and the next time i leave here i will be able to live a good life by my own means. I am just looking to find the me that i thought was destroyed. I just don't know how to do it, i have been hurting for so long it seems the norm, i have tried to find love in sex that didn't work, i tried to find love in a man i hardly knew and married him that didn't work, but i think the real problem is that i have lost faith that god has created a man that will love me no matter what and that i will not have to settle or demean myself by allowing an undeserving man use me up. But my fears are maybe i am destine to be alone and watch the rest of my family have families and babies and this fear has ruled my life. I have listen to the devil(got to make the devil out of a liar) put my life into their hands and moved across country with a stranger and i survived.I am stronger,wiser and just need the strength of god to be obedient to his will because he will never forsake me. Please forever one who reads this pray for my strength to find my path because i am so lost.

tendai

  • Guest
Re: Finding Myself
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2009, 04:24:26 AM »
sounds like you're doing okay. step by step, u'll get there. you are not destined to be alone, there are so many people who have found love and happiness after HIV and theres no reason why you shouldnt be one of them. keep the faith in yourself and in God, He wil make a way..

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,972
Re: Finding Myself
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2009, 08:10:52 AM »
When you're in the pits of hell, the only way to go is up.  Good luck.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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