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Author Topic: Risky encounter?  (Read 7083 times)

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Offline Swazi1

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Risky encounter?
« on: January 27, 2009, 08:34:45 PM »
hey guys. first thank u for this excellent forum. i am a 21 year old, white south african male, circumsized. i made a mistake by hiring 2 young black prostitutes, the cheap kind. the one gave me oral sex for 4 minutes with condom on, and then i had 4 minutes slow vaginal sex with 2nd prostitute wit same condom. after dat, i carefully removed condom, whicH was not broken and had a shower. but now i am scared, wat if i caught something. im so nervous, and at 5 weeks 3days i got tested. they used rapid test cause i got results in 30minutes. both the abott determine hiv1/2 and the uni-gold hiv tests were negative. i am still nervous cause hiv is high in south africa. can i relax cause anxiety killing me. 
« Last Edit: January 27, 2009, 08:39:42 PM by Swazi1 »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2009, 08:39:28 PM »
You were never at risk of contracting HIV. Keep using the condoms and you'll stay protected from HIV.

Offline Swazi1

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2009, 08:47:09 PM »
Thanks for quick reply rapidrod. thanks for assurance. rapid, is there any way when i was getting oral that the condom coule have gotten a small hole, and i could have gotten something through vaginal with same condom? and how good are free government condoms when compared 2 trojan or durex? and are my tests conclusive? anxiety and guilt makes me feel like i got aids

Offline RapidRod

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2009, 09:29:02 PM »
No, had the condom failed during oral you would have known it.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2009, 10:45:49 PM »
And even IF it had failed you wouldn't have been at risk anyway. In the entire history of the epidemic no guy has ever been confirmed to have become infected from getting oral. You won't make history by becoming the first.  When a condom fails it is very clear that has happened.

The essential thing is that you had it on for intercourse. Condoms provide very effective protection and then the HIV status of your partner(s) doesn't matter.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2009, 11:07:02 AM »
Hey guys...thanks for the replies...you really put my mind at ease....whew!
Before finding and joining this forum I posted the same question to Doctor Frascino on The Body HIV ...This is his reply
Hello,

HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. If you used a latex (or polyurethane) condom properly and it did not break, your HIV-acquisition risk would be essentially nonexistent, no matter whom you were schtooping!

Your negative HIV test at five weeks is encouraging, but not conclusive. You'll need to wait until the three-month mark for that.

Good luck. Stay safe and you'll stay well.

Dr. Bob

How do I know if it was a latex condom? Do you'll think its worth getting tested at 3months or a waste of time?
Sorry for being such a nag, but I really do appreciate your anxiety relieving advice

Offline RapidRod

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Re: WORRIED SOUTH AFRICAN
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2009, 11:50:14 AM »
You didn't have a risk you had protected sex. Your negative test is conclusive because you didn't have a risk and didn't need testing.

Offline Swazi1

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Risky encounter?
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2009, 05:10:18 PM »
Today I got two sex workers to come home with me...Since we live in Swaziland, Africa, AIDS is quite high in the country...

Well with the first worker, she gave me unprotected oral for a minute, then put a condom on, and then she sucked me for 2 minutes and then we had sex for a minute and I came in her....We renoved condom, that looked intact.

I then got erection again, put on new condom and got blowjob from 2nd worker...can I catch sommething in this act I commited

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2009, 05:16:58 PM »
NO..

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2009, 05:19:51 PM »
Why does one get so nervous like I caught something???Its been two hours but the tip of my penis got a tingling feeling and Im filled with guilt...Its like I tested...I was safe...and today I messed up and know I dont know my status!

What if some of her fluids touch my penis when removing condom? Is that possible?

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2009, 05:32:23 PM »
Oh...and do you'll find in neccesary to test?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2009, 05:33:13 PM »
You used condoms for intercourse which is what you are supposed to do. They provide you with very effective protection whether it's with one or twenty sex workers, regardless of their HIV status. And there is no risk for transmission to have a used condom touch your penis afterwards. That kind of contact is not how HIV gets transmitted.

You had sex with sex workers. It seems like a lot of guys get real anxious about that after the fact. Whether you are with a professional or a civilian it doesn't matter as long as you always wear a condom.

You are worrying needlessly and whatever your penis is tingling from it ain't HIV. And no, there's no need for testing over this incident.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2009, 08:01:46 PM »
Tanx guys...last question and we close subject....I shave down there. yesterday  I had a white head on the base of penis...u know the shaving white heads....what would happen if her vaginal fluids touched this white head? can I get infected like that?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2009, 08:53:03 PM »
No, that would not be a risk. Again, HIV is a fragile virus. Sexually it requires the receptive setting provided by a vagina or an anus during unprotected intercourse. It really is that simple as far as sexual risk is concerned.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2009, 09:37:23 PM »
Swazi,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2009, 06:03:17 AM »
Thanks so much Andy...make me feel so much better.

And thank you too Ann, sorry, I will post here from now on :)


Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2009, 12:05:12 PM »
Hey guys...Im so sorry for asking this question here, and I really didnt want to PM anyone, and fill up their inbox....But I was wondering if you guys could give me a link/forum to another site that deals with syphilis/herpes/clap...
Or maybe you guys have an STD forum, because I really like Andy and Rapid Rods answers, they make me feel confident again...

Sorry if I posted in the wrong place guys

Thank You

Offline Ann

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2009, 03:10:40 PM »
Swazi,

http://www.thedramadownunder.info/ is a site geared toward gay men, but the information is the same no matter what your sexual orientation may be.

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp is an easy-to-understand chart.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2009, 03:39:09 PM »
Thanks Ann...Can you clear up a question for me guys? I read that if you have an STD its easier to get HIV? So say in my case, the sex worker had HIV and another std..What if I never got HIV but picked up, herpes, for example, is there a chance then that I picked up HIV?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2009, 04:12:02 PM »
If you are having an active flareup of an STD like herpes it does make you more vulnerable to picking up others because your immune system will be down and less strong.

HIV is transmitted in very particular ways sexually -- specifically unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. If you weren't doing either of those then you would not be at risk sexually for HIV transmission even if you picked up one of the other STDs. Other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 04:14:00 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2009, 04:46:17 PM »
So right up to the point I had the sexual encounters on Saturday, I have been 100% tested and clean. So if by any chance I did get an STD from Saturday's incident I can be sure that I wont get HIV?

I know this is an off the track kind of question, but in the case of herpes and syphillis, does the penis have to make direct contact with the sore? There were no sores present on the sex workers mouth, and like stated, she gave unprotected oral for like 30 seconds....and thereafter all other activities always used condoms...

Im really really scared in terms of getting HIV, Herpes(incurable but not fatal), and Syphilis(curable, but I heard you may go years without symptoms)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2009, 05:12:29 PM »
Swazi,  simply because you were involved in sexual activities doesn't put you at risk for HIV, although you can pick up other STDs more easily. HIV is transmitted sexually through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. If you didn't do either of those then you weren't at risk for HIV.

As for other STDs, we focus here strictly on HIV. So if you have questions about other STDs you need to discuss them with your doctor. In a very general way I can say that syphilis can be passed along by contact with the syphilis germ in a sore through unprotected oral, anal or vaginal sex with an infected person. Herpes can be contracted thorugh contact with herpes sores that are commonly on or near the penis, scrotum, vagina, ass or mouth during an outbreak. It can also be acquired even if there are no visible sores.

If you find yourself having any symptoms you should discuss those STDs with your doctor.

Lastly, you used the term "clean" in referring to your test results. You either have an STD or not. It's not a matter of being "clean" or "dirty." You need to be aware that it's insulting to those who hear an STD described as "dirty." Use the term "negative" or "positive." Those are informative but neutral terms when discussing STDs.

Cheers.   
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2009, 04:34:37 AM »
Thanks Andy...

Really not being insultive, I only used the word, because when doctor gave me results, he told me Im "clean"...And if I was infected, I wouldn't say "dirty", that is just plain rude.
I think that people to get nervous, and they dont write/explain/mayby like in my case, my vocab is not good...Nobody comes on this forum to insult someone...because we are concerened about health.


But really sorry if I insulted anyone... An andy thank you so much for your time and patience. You really explain well, and you make a person feel good and confident again.

Gracias tanto, Señor Velez.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 04:45:40 AM by Swazi1 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2009, 10:05:21 AM »
De nada, Swazi. I'm glad you found the exchanges to be helpful. 
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2009, 01:14:10 PM »
Muy útil. Andy. Hablo portugués por la manera. Mi español es débil. dispénseme por favor

I just cant understand why so many sites still say that condoms are not 100% safe, and the myth about the small holes in condom allowing HIV to pass through. Many sites still say that oral sex is a transmission for HIV.
To be honest, and a fact that I never wrote is that I am getting married in 2 months time, to a very fantastic girl, the home type, who never had any boyfriends etc...And feel like, how you say, scared or embarresed right word no?
Thats why I've been seeing so many sex workers. Like a bachelor party by myself
This girl is so fantastic, and I really don't want to give her anything.
I will be waiting till the 5 weeks to do the full std check for chlamydia, clap, syphilis.
I know HIV testing, to be 100% sure must be at least 13weeks.

Can I enter my marriage confidently?(in terms of HIV)


« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 01:15:44 PM by Swazi1 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #25 on: March 19, 2009, 01:51:33 PM »
Anytime you have sex with anything other than your own hand there is "theoretically" some risk. But in the real world of HIV we know that the only confirmed means of transmission sexually are through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

It's good that you are having a full STD panel done prior to marriage. That's a good idea for anyone to do regularly who is sexually active.

Nothing you have reported here of your activities suggests to me that you should expect anything other than a negative test result for HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #26 on: March 19, 2009, 02:03:18 PM »
I dont understand theoretically, but if you saying, that every time I have vaginal sex with latex condom, the condom doesn't break, and I use new condom for every time after I ejaculate and begin new sex then my chance of HIV 0%

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #27 on: March 19, 2009, 02:49:41 PM »
Swazi, keep it simple. Dont' complicate things.

NOTHING is 100% about HIV or anything else in life for that matter except that you're going to die someday. And you postpone that as long as possible.

If you consistently use latex condoms properly everytime you have vaginal or anal intercourse you will be well protected. Period. They have proven to be very effective and as long as they don't break I don't know of any reason you wouldn't be well protected.

Now really, take a breath and get on with your life. Really.

 
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #28 on: March 19, 2009, 02:59:32 PM »
I know I should but I dont know why its freakin me out so much this time Mr Velez....But can I ask the question one last time....I promise...One last and final time..
All this information has made me nervous as to what my status could be
Do you think Im infected and do I need testing, or can I close this internet browser and go live a happy life.

My incident I explained even through to the times are correct...Never ommited any information..

Please answer this last question and I promise you the only reply you will get is thank you
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 04:26:44 PM by Swazi1 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #29 on: March 20, 2009, 09:21:40 AM »
No, I don't think you are infected.

I do think having a full STD panel is a good idea to do before marriage, actually for both partners. Assuming everything is negative for both and your relationship is securely monogamous, then you can both be confident of safety in terms of STDs.   
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2009, 06:41:01 AM »
Thanks Andy!

For peace of mind, because this incident was exactly the same as the first one I ever posted here, I decided to go for the full panel today, that would equal 13weeks from that encounter. The full std panel is relatively cheap here, all in all it costs US $30. All results were negetive and it really puts my mind at ease for the next panel I will take in 6weeks time

Thank you so much Andy, and if faith ever brings you to this sign of the world, you'll be pleases to know that I will be honored to have you as a guest

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #31 on: March 21, 2009, 05:02:11 PM »
Good to  know that you collected a bunch of negative results. That's always happy news.

And thanks for your kind invitation.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #32 on: April 13, 2009, 08:42:23 AM »
Hey guys. Its been four weeks since incident. Yesterday, i awoke with a lot of nausea, and I vomit when I eat. I dont really have a running stomach, but pass watery stool four or five times a day. Was really tired yesterday, with headache but after a good nights sleep i feel fantastic. Only the nausea and vomiting, and occasional running stomach troubles me, as i heard these can be ars. I also know symptoms are nothing to go by, but how common are my symptoms and is the timing correct?

Offline Ann

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2009, 08:58:05 AM »
Swazi,

You did not have a risk for hiv infection. See a doctor if you feel unwell - whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

When you go for your pre-marriage complete sexual health care check up, I fully expect you to test negative for hiv.

However, you will not be permitted to use this forum to talk about your NO RISK incidents. If you read the posting guidelines in the
Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2009, 08:55:42 AM »
Hey guys. How you'll:-) 2 quick questions. I help out with charity work and we train the teenages in football. Some or quite a few of the children come from an hiv positive family. Yesterday one of the boys got hurt, and when i helped i got his blood on my hands. After helping, ten minutes, i washed my hands properly. My cuticles peel a lot so i got small cuts on fingers. Is this a risk situation? Secondly, wedding is in 2weeks time:-):-):) yes m excited!! Is a 8 week hiv test conclusive?     

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2009, 09:09:14 AM »
You were not at risk in that sports situation. HIV is a fragile virus and not transmitted in that manner.

When there has been a genuine risk because of unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, then 13 weeks is what the CDC recommends as a reliable and conclusive testing point.

You've been given the basics here many times. Ann has warned you so I'll remind you that you are on the verge of getting a 28 day TIME OUT here.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2009, 11:23:40 AM »
Thanks mr velez. I know i was warned. But this was a new situation:-) i thought it was ok to ask another question cause this was an entirely different risk. So even if the blood got dry on my fingernails im cool? 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2009, 11:36:34 AM »
No risk for this latest. You also need to apply what has been told to you in previous exchanges. Just because you have a new incident doesn't mean that the basic principles regarding risk and non-risk have changed. And you have been given all of the basics about that by now.
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #38 on: July 08, 2009, 11:56:34 AM »
Hey guys...No risk situation...was just wondering what you guys think of testing with the rapid tests at 13weeks post encounter. . .Here in Swaziland we have two test for HIV1/2.
The Abbott Determine and the Uni-Gold HIV
Both are rapid tests...Do you know the reliability of these tests?

Offline Ann

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #39 on: July 08, 2009, 12:03:20 PM »
Swazi,

They're both reliable tests.

Don't be surprised by your negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #40 on: July 08, 2009, 04:46:12 PM »
HE he!

Got a negative Ann!!! Thanks! Mwah

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #41 on: July 08, 2009, 06:22:29 PM »
That's always a happy result.

Just remember to keep using condoms everytime you have vaginal or anal intercourse and you will be well protected as far as HIV is concerned.

Cheers. 
Andy Velez

Offline Swazi1

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #42 on: May 06, 2010, 02:32:25 PM »
Hey  guys! Its been a long time since I posted on this forum. Hope you'll all well. Can I ask a question that must have been asked a million times here. If a woman rubs her vagina along your hard penis, and she's wet(turned on), but the penis doesn't enter the vagina, is this a risk encounter for hiv

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #43 on: May 06, 2010, 02:47:12 PM »
No, it is not. Infectious fluids are found far in the interior of the vagina. What you describe is frottage, which is considered safer sex.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risky encounter?
« Reply #44 on: May 06, 2010, 02:49:29 PM »
No, that is not a risk as long as there is no penetration.

If you (re)read the lesson on Transmission you get all of the basics again that we have told you. There's a link to that lesson in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

You need to apply what has been said to you many times now to new situations as they come up.

In the meantime I am now giving you that 28 day Time Out which you have been warned about many times.  Don't make the mistake of trying to get around the TO by creating a new name. We will spot that right off and it will get you banned permanently.

Now really, get on with your life. 
Andy Velez

 


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