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Author Topic: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.  (Read 1168 times)

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Offline wolfter

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weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« on: July 08, 2015, 06:39:08 PM »
Been trying to work through the 7 steps of grief again.  I keep bouncing around.  :)  I've been productive again only to avoid too much time to think.  My mind was going angry while maintaining civility. Was thinking how a bowl would be the med to help.  After working on my new front deck today before the rain, was time to put shit away.

The rain started slowly which says put most of your shit away.  Finished my daily goal and the last thing I found was a little baggie I forgot about.  Hell yeah! 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline zach

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2015, 06:42:48 PM »
smoke up greg

and dont hide your stash so deep

hope you're healing man

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2015, 06:52:03 PM »
I dug 6 post holes against the outside wall for a new deck.  Spud bars suck but needed.  Yeah, I'm probably am doing as well or better than most expected.  Great friends and family help.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2015, 06:54:56 PM »
OH, and I'll try to read through the recent posts and respond accordingly.  (or not and simply laugh)

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2015, 12:17:23 AM »
smoke up greg

and dont hide your stash so deep

hope you're healing man

I don't think you can heal this quickly.  After the fucking numbness fades, all the emotions surface.  I keep trying to convince myself that I'm doing OK which I probably am, but others' silly problems don't seem as important.  I hope my bitterness dimenishes soon as I don't like being this bitter towards people because I don't care as much as I once did.



Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline zach

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2015, 10:49:57 PM »
I don't think you can heal this quickly.  After the fucking numbness fades, all the emotions surface.  I keep trying to convince myself that I'm doing OK which I probably am, but others' silly problems don't seem as important.  I hope my bitterness dimenishes soon as I don't like being this bitter towards people because I don't care as much as I once did.

you never fully heal, at least i haven't... but the pain, you learn to carry the burden

the bitterness, yeah, it changed me, i don't tolerate people's petty nonsense like i used to... but i think we've seen that in each other privately, best to keep it there

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2015, 08:31:41 AM »
ZACH...thanks so much.  Being in yet another exclusive club that I never thought I'd belong to causes so much ire and anger. 

I've reached the STFU stage about pretty much everything.  Everything pales in comparison.  Being a very empathetic person, I worry that this paradigm is my new normal. 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline ImisstheOldTimes

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  • Posts: 153
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2015, 03:26:43 PM »
Wolf,

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today, and sending you warm wishes. 

that is all  :-*

Heidi
Life is a BANQUET, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

                             ~Auntie Mame

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2015, 11:30:32 PM »
Wolf,

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today, and sending you warm wishes. 

that is all  :-*

Heidi

thanks.  I've just been an angry old bastard of late.  :)  I guess this is what happens when you hit 50 and want to see things change.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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  • Posts: 5,214
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2015, 11:41:58 PM »
I won't start another thread since I'll probably receive stern warnings here.  For those of us living a LONG time with this virus, I get so freaking frustrated seeing the ridiculous "am I" questions.  It took a while to figure our why this bothers me so badly.

After 30 years, we should know the answers to the most assinine situations posed in the forum.  This isn't my show so I'll be part of the silent majority.  Obviously not.  :)  It just irks me so badly that people can google sex workers and such yet come here and explicity detail their sexual activities.

I find this so offensive especially when I see these stupid ass questions are always the most recent posts.   Not sure how these people know more terminology than me but any fool knows that rubbing your penis along someone's ass crack isn't cause for concern.  and if you don't know if you were penetrated, then you probably weren't. 

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2015, 05:04:25 PM »
I won't start another thread since I'll probably receive stern warnings here.  For those of us living a LONG time with this virus, I get so freaking frustrated seeing the ridiculous "am I" questions.  It took a while to figure our why this bothers me so badly.

After 30 years, we should know the answers to the most assinine situations posed in the forum.  This isn't my show so I'll be part of the silent majority.  Obviously not.  :)  It just irks me so badly that people can google sex workers and such yet come here and explicity detail their sexual activities.

I find this so offensive especially when I see these stupid ass questions are always the most recent posts.   Not sure how these people know more terminology than me but any fool knows that rubbing your penis along someone's ass crack isn't cause for concern.  and if you don't know if you were penetrated, then you probably weren't. 



And yet you ended up living with the virus yourself  ;) . I knew was at risk but didnít have protected sex myself so I cut others a little slack for not knowing all the facts Ö even after 30 years .

Offline Jody

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2015, 01:00:04 PM »
Hugs to you dear Greg...Will we still be seeing you in Memphis in less than 2 weeks?  Looking forward to that.

Jody :)
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline mitch777

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  • Posts: 4,049
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2015, 06:19:09 PM »
When I first read the title I thought you would be referring to this:
http://www.newser.com/story/209947/marijuana-helps-heal-broken-bones.html

Take it for what it's worth I guess.

Sorry you are in a bad place. At least you won't need to dig holes in Memphis to distract you. :)

As far as the newbies go, many are frantic being newly diagnosed. Their Google search brought them here and while posting their questions before reading further may seem like a no-brainer to you it is not to them. Frantic people sometimes just don't think rationally. Stressed people don't always think so rational either. I am a prime example.

hugs.
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2015, 10:11:19 PM »
I apologize for my behavior and actions.   And yeah, I'm angry.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2015, 10:15:23 PM »
And yet you ended up living with the virus yourself  ;) . I knew was at risk but didnít have protected sex myself so I cut others a little slack for not knowing all the facts Ö even after 30 years .

Why the need to bait while I'm suffering a tragic loss is beyond me, 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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  • Posts: 5,214
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2015, 10:29:57 PM »
And yet you ended up living with the virus yourself  ;) . I knew was at risk but didnít have protected sex myself so I cut others a little slack for not knowing all the facts Ö even after 30 years .

I don't understand why you need to  degrogate during such a horrific time,  But it's OK
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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  • Posts: 5,214
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2015, 11:03:04 PM »
And yet you ended up living with the virus yourself  ;) . I knew was at risk but didnít have protected sex myself so I cut others a little slack for not knowing all the facts Ö even after 30 years .

Perhaps give me a little slack?  I ended up with a virus before we knew there was something "wrong".  I thought you got the ole virus during the same time period?
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Almost2late

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  • Posts: 734
  • Life goes on
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2015, 01:30:58 AM »
Hey wolf,
 
I know what you mean about the silly and sometimes stupid questions, use to annoy me too.. but I think if I were as paranoid 15 years back and knew about these forums, I may have dodged the virus with help of the moderators answering some stupid questions of my own.. but that wasn't meant to be..

You've been through a lot, more than I could possibly imagine.. wishing a better day for you.. peace

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: weed? Yeah it sometimes does a body good.
« Reply #18 on: July 20, 2015, 08:37:23 AM »
Why the need to bait while I'm suffering a tragic loss is beyond me, 

Im not baiting you and I am sorry you see it as so ... it was not my attention, I was only replying to what you wrote. I was infected over 30 years ago but I did know that gay men were dying of this virus and knew I was at risk but like many of the people in AM I and some of our new members I didn't think it would happen to me until it did.

This is not intended to upset you ... I thought you wanted comments or you would not have posted some of your own.

 


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