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Author Topic: Im so worried  (Read 2512 times)

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Offline Guy86

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  • Posts: 7
Im so worried
« on: January 06, 2009, 08:21:53 AM »
Hello!

About two months ago I did something very stupid. I had unprotected vaginal intercourse two times with the same female, and she said, that she doesn't have any STDs. She was very nice, but sexually active. About a month from the first unprotected intercourse, my throat became very sore, and I had mild fever and red throat. I visited a doctor and got tested, it was not strep throat or mononucleosis.

My throat is still red (after a month since beginning of the symptoms), but it's not sore anymore. The symptoms lasted about for two weeks. The occurring time and the duration of the symptoms are very annoying..

Almost same time I had sex with another female, but with her I always wore condom. Also we have been masturbating each other with her, but never had intercourse without a condom. Altough I had made a mistake with the condom two times...I was about to put it on wrong way, so that the tip of my penis touched the outside of the condom, but then I put it on correctly...and then we had an intercourse..Now I'm aware of the fact, that I should have took a new, intact condom in use..

Now I'm worried that I might have HIV. I know that I should get tested, but I should wait for a month and I could get conclusive result. With the first partner, we have became friends after having a short sexual relationship. I also might ask, if she had tested herself for STDs or why she's so certain that she doesn't have any of them.

Also I'm scared of the possibility, that IF I have got HIV from my first partner, I could have transmitted it to my second partner. We have been using condom every time, but we have been masturbating each other and also kissing intensively. Is it possible, that my second partner has got HIV from me? She has had similar symptoms that I had. Her symptoms were high fever and very sore throat. I had sex (with condom) with her when I had those symptoms, and her symptoms began about two days after that and lasted for nearly two weeks. Before that we had been masturbating each other and kissing for some times..

Also my first partner has said, that she has had some kind of common cold or flu. I live in high northern latitudes, and it's usual that people  have symptoms like these in this time of year. My first partner said also that she has rheumatism, and sometimes it interfered our sexual activities. I know, that mayby I'm worrying for nothing...in my country, HIV is quite rare, but still...

Currently I'm feeling ok, but I can't stop worrying these things. It's so hard to do anything else. I have been preparing for the worst, and I think, HIV wouldn't stop my life, I would still go on with it, but I cannot tolerate the thought, that I could have transmitted it further...

During these couple of months, I have became VERY aware of HIV, and I would NEVER again have sex without condom with a random partner. I have really learned my lesson, hopefully the punishment is not the hardest possible...

Please, say something encouraging to me!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2009, 08:27:56 AM »
HIV is not transmitted by masturbation and HIV is not a punishment. Get your test at 3 months and keep using condoms.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2009, 09:36:20 AM »
Creating drama is not good for anyone's health. So let's stick to the facts of this situation.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly harder to accomplish from female to male. Given the unprotected incidents were very limited (twice), the likelihood of your having become infected is low. Of course, low risk is not the same as no risk, so you do need to get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident.

Nothing you are describing symptomatically is in any way HIV-specific. But then neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test at the proper time will give you a reliable answer.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire, so if you have troubling symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. We can't diagnose them here.

Lastly, you need to learn from this experience. You can have as many partners as you like, regardless of their HIV status. But you need to do it the safer way. That means always using condoms. Period.

Good luck with your test when you take it. The odds are in your favor that you're going to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline Guy86

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2009, 03:52:12 PM »
Thank you for your quick responses, RapidRod and Andy Velez!

Offline Guy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: No more fear!
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2009, 07:09:22 AM »
I've been thinking and processing many things and thoughts in my mind during last two months. Now I think that I've conquered the fear! Whatever my test result is, I'm not living in fear anymore. I've thought, that what's happened is happened, and it cannot be reversed. Of course I hope, that everything will be ok after all, but I've also prepared for possible positivity. I think, I will survive whatever the result is! And also I have thought, that I could do something in my country to fight hiv!

I could educate and advise people about hiv. I've noticed, that in my country there is clearly lack of education about STDs. Of course there is education, but the message has not been clear enaugh to be acknowledged by people. I think, that if my action can prevent even one hiv infection, I could think that I've made the world at least little bit better place!

Also I've realized that life is so wonderful and precious gift, that every one should understand it, and everyone should use their time for something good and constructive! Everyone can make good things, and step by step make world better place! Every day is a new chance, and it's better to live every day as it was your last, because you can never know...

Life is too short to be wasted for worrying! Everyone should keep on concentrating in good things in their lives and seek the joy and happiness in small things in their everyday lives!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2009, 08:56:38 AM »
That's a good outlook. And I do think the odds are in your favor that ultimately you're going to test negative.

...and just keep going.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Guy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2009, 09:32:13 AM »
I discussed with my first partner, and she said, that she has been using always condom with her partners..but I was an exception. She said, that she trusted in me, and likewise I trusted her. She also said, that she has tested herself for all STDs (including hiv), and all were negative. So do I still need to test myself? Can I stop worrying? And of course from now on I'll always use condoms properly!  :)

She has also been thinking, that what she had done with me and why...but she's seems very responsible and trustworthy!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2009, 10:47:30 AM »
That's very reassuring.

Personally I would still say if you've had unprotected intercourse then get tested. Remove any doubts in your mind.

And always use condoms without exceptions until such time as you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners test negative together at a reliable testing point.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Guy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 10:08:07 AM »
Hello!

Today I finally made an appointment to test. I have to wait until the end of this month, and I can finally get tested.

I was extremely nervous about that single phone call, but I managed to conquer my anxiety, and picked up the phone!

Now the situation is, that the second partner I told about, is nowadays my girlfriend. We have always had protected sex, and I'm currently very satisfied with my sexual life.

You have propably answered this question earlier, but have I understood it correctly, that there's no risk in mutual masturbation?  Besides protected intercourses, we have been doing mutual masturbation together..

Is there risk of contraction, if the outside of a condom accidentally touches the tip of my penis previous to intercourse?

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,274
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 10:24:04 AM »
Quote
Is there risk of contraction, if the outside of a condom accidentally touches the tip of my penis previous to intercourse?


NO...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2009, 01:14:58 PM »
None of the many variations on masturbation with someone else present any risk for HIV transmission. No, not whether pre-cum or sperm are involved or nicks, cuts, bruises or whatever. No risk, no risk, no risk.
Andy Velez

Offline Guy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2009, 03:36:01 PM »
Okay, thank you for your responses, RapodRod and Andy Velez!  :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Im so worried
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2009, 03:45:26 PM »
You're welcome. ...Get on with your life.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Guy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2009, 04:43:48 PM »
Good news, I got tested, and the result was: negative!  :D

Than you for you all for advice and support during my waiting period!

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,381
Re: Im so worried
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2009, 09:30:21 PM »
You're welcome. That is happy news.

Now protect your negative status by always without exception using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. When you do that consistently the HIV status of whomever you are with becomes irrelevant because you will be well and effectively protected.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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