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Author Topic: wow, a little hurt  (Read 1736 times)

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Offline Texan38

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  • Posts: 686
wow, a little hurt
« on: January 02, 2009, 09:55:10 PM »
I just came back from several drinks with one of my coworkers...she's the one who wanted me to talk about my sexuality for her class and I thought we had gotten along great but...today...I felt different.
We went out for drinks. We were laughing and joking. She was telling me about her sex life and when I started telling her about my past experiences...she would laugh and conversation went back to her.
We'd laugh and drink, I would to tell her about my experiences...I'd stop...and she'd begin to tell me about her sexual experiences.
It took me back years ago.
I had a hand full of what I thought were good friends and yet when we would go out, they would look over my shoulder checking out what was going on behind me. That's why I wouldn't go out with my friends because they wanted to hook up with someone while I wanted to have some conversation.
This nite just took me back that old feeling. It's not that she wanted to hook up with someone...it was that I felt, my life wasn't as exciting as hers.
I have so much to tell...I have so many personal and experimental, sexual experiences that I want to share...but yet, she made me feel that what I have to say is not important. I stopped in the middle of sentence and she didn't realize I had stopped. As it happens in so many conversations I have.
I listen to what others have to say but yet...for as much as I keep trying, my words fall on deaf ears.

I've been drinking...sorry...just rambling.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2009, 10:41:49 PM »
Uh... so, why didn't you just say "Look bitch, every time I say something you shift the fucking conversation back to yourself.  What's up with that?"
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline denb45

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Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2009, 11:17:10 PM »
Uh... so, why didn't you just say "Look bitch, every time I say something you shift the fucking conversation back to yourself.  What's up with that?"


Hey Texan38, she just being a Women, so let her, theirs no harm in that ;) cuz , hunnie, it ain't Deep. so don't fret to much over it...............

 Ah Yes........A Women, they are quite a hoot aren't they, and to this day, I will never understand why, they are the way they are, (I'd have to become one to understand I suppose) it never ceases to amaze me
how what they have to say is more important then us men, but, you gotta love em' for who and what they are I should know.........(I have a Twin-Sister that acts like that) so, I have a lott of experience with this subject, after all, My Twin-Sister is the other side/part of who I'm  ;D, I never really listen to mine, I just flatter her, so she thinks give Damm  ;D...don't get me wrong here, I do have a lotta love for my Twin-Sister, no matter how irrelevant she thinks my life is.......
« Last Edit: January 02, 2009, 11:26:28 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2009, 11:50:19 PM »
Don't take it personally. Often when people drink they run off at the mouth. Also there are people out there who mistake talking for conversation.

Online BT65

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Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2009, 12:27:03 AM »


Hey Texan38, she just being a Women, so let her, theirs no harm in that ;) cuz , hunnie, it ain't Deep. so don't fret to much over it...............

 Ah Yes........A Women, they are quite a hoot aren't they, and to this day, I will never understand why, they are the way they are, (I'd have to become one to understand I suppose) it never ceases to amaze me
how what they have to say is more important then us men, but, you gotta love em' for who and what they are I should know.......

This is offensive.  I listen to everyone who talks to me, and don't ever short-change anyone.  Maybe you shouldn't make such a general call about all women.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2009, 12:57:44 AM »
This is offensive.  I listen to everyone who talks to me, and don't ever short-change anyone.  Maybe you shouldn't make such a general call about all women.

No I don't make such a general call about all women, just some. in fact, some men can be that way, sorry if I offended you, this subject isn't limited to just Women, but can be just the rudeness of people in general, but, I don't choose to go there, I'm not like that..............have a nice evening  ;D
« Last Edit: January 03, 2009, 01:00:40 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Basquo

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Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2009, 01:45:40 AM »

I have so much to tell...I have so many personal and experimental, sexual experiences that I want to share...
I listen to what others have to say but yet...for as much as I keep trying, my words fall on deaf ears.


Sounds like someone needs to let their stories loose...in a PM if not for everyone... ;)

Offline HollyStar

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  • Posts: 344
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2009, 02:20:19 AM »
She sounds pretty full of herself and I hope that you don't have to deal with this asshole again, at least in a social setting. I know what it's like to be railroaded in a conversation. Constantly interupted or you can see them thinking about what they want to say next before you are done speaking. My youngest brother is like that and my cousin (30 something woman). I start doing the same thing to them. It doesn't work well with my brother as we can have several conversations with him not asking a single question about myself.

Try not to let it get you down. Some people can be so rude and most of the time I don't think they even realize it. I decided a while ago to remove from my life that which cause's me harm. And that includes people. Sorry I don't have anything comforting to say but I know where you are coming from. Be well.

And by the way, I am a Woman denb45 and your comment was generalized towards women. If you didn't mean it to come across offensive I will understand but the way it came out was offensive. Sorry for the hijack.

Diagnosed  July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

'If your ship doesn't come, swim out to it.' - Jonathan Winters

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2009, 03:32:12 AM »
We were laughing and joking. She was telling me about her sex life and when I started telling her about my past experiences...she would laugh and conversation went back to her.
We'd laugh and drink, I would to tell her about my experiences...I'd stop...and she'd begin to tell me about her sexual experiences.

I agree with other posters that we shouldn't say this is a "women thang".  Texan, sounds like she was listening but you were hesitating so she just kept the conversation going.  Afterall, she does like you and takes you seriously, based on her past actions.

By the way, its probably NOT the best idea to drink AND talk sex with colleagues.  Continue this and eventually you'll regret either saying something, or hearing something, other people don't want to know. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Dachshund

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Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2009, 06:42:12 AM »


Hey Texan38, she just being a Women, so let her, theirs no harm in that ;) cuz , hunnie, it ain't Deep. so don't fret to much over it...............

 Ah Yes........A Women, they are quite a hoot aren't they, and to this day, I will never understand why, they are the way they are, (I'd have to become one to understand I suppose) it never ceases to amaze me
how what they have to say is more important then us men, but, you gotta love em' for who and what they are I should know.........(I have a Twin-Sister that acts like that) so, I have a lott of experience with this subject, after all, My Twin-Sister is the other side/part of who I'm  ;D, I never really listen to mine, I just flatter her, so she thinks give Damm  ;D...don't get me wrong here, I do have a lotta love for my Twin-Sister, no matter how irrelevant she thinks my life is.......

I've always found women to be much better listeners, while gay men just prattle on and on about themselves.

Offline Gary85741

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  • Native Virginian living in Tucson AZ
    • Good guy, good heart
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2009, 08:23:51 AM »

There are people around who are just self-absorbed and/or lack social skill.  I have certainly known people like you describe, and I don't deal with them too much.  It can be just as evident when talking on the phone with someone, or in e-mail correspondence.  It seems to be about "me me me."  I remember one e-mail pal who never acknowledged anything I said.  I seriously thought about writing him that I had been abducted by aliens and taken to Jupiter just to see if he'd say anything. 

Myself, I don't have any "exciting" life and don't have a lot to say about what I've been "doing."  So I talk about current events, movies, or my take on life, for that matter.

What would be interesting to know is if your woman friend behaves this way with other people...or just you??

Gary
Poz since '89. 
Current regimen: Rescriptor, Emtriva, Kaletra, Invirase, Acyclovir, Lisinopril, Lipitor, Prilosec, Valium, Testim, Nandrolone, Loperamidr, Marinol.

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Posts: 2,811
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2009, 10:09:33 AM »
It happens.  You want someone to listen to you, she or he wants someone to listen to them and either both are hurt or bored or pissed-off.  It is hard for a talker to be a listener because they just want someone to hear their conversation with no regards to what the other person have to say.  I usually just listen till I feel there other person is ready; otherwise, I just listen and listen and listen...  Then I realize the other person just wants a sounding board and that's that.  Or maybe there is more to the situation which was not apparent.  Either way one bad experience with a freind does not spoil the whole friendship.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2009, 10:15:27 AM by red_Dragon888 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2009, 11:06:20 AM »
 she made me feel that what I have to say is not important. I stopped in the middle of sentence and she didn't realize I had stopped. As it happens in so many conversations I have.
I listen to what others have to say but yet...for as much as I keep trying, my words fall on deaf ears.

I've been drinking...sorry...just rambling.
[/quote]

The next time you want to pour your heart-out to someone, I wouldn't choose her as a listening subject, How Rude and self absorbed of her, maybe it's time to find a new friend, I can't stand people who act like that, it's just plain RUDE  ???
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Texan38

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  • Posts: 686
Re: wow, a little hurt
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2009, 11:34:56 PM »
I must admit, I do get a tad more sensitive when I've been drinking but the way I see it now - eh, no big deal. She can be a little self absorbed at work and I just listen when she talks. That was the first time we had gone out together and probably the last. It definitely didn't ruin the beginning of our friendship. I guess it just proves to me that I'm just a good listener!  ;)  and an even better listener when drinking!  :D You guys gave me some great advise, as always! Thanks.  :-*
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

 


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