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Author Topic: Exposure in the shower  (Read 3836 times)

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Offline neverends

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Exposure in the shower
« on: January 02, 2009, 10:04:42 AM »
Hi guys,  Last week I was playing with a guy in the shower, I turned around and he teased me but never actually penetrated.  I suffer from hemorroids so when he tried to put it in I backed off.  What are the chances of infection if he was uncircumsiced?  Please help I am worried and depressed.  Worried about precum and hemmorroids
« Last Edit: January 02, 2009, 10:10:06 AM by neverends »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2009, 10:12:03 AM »
At no time were you ever at risk. Take the time to read the lesson on transmission. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2009, 10:17:45 AM »
As long as you are certain there was no penetration then you weren't at risk. Rubbing and frottage are absolutely NOT risks for transmission. Just make sure in situations where intercourse is involved that whoever is the insertive partner is always wearing a condom. That way you'll always be well protected as far as HIV is concerned.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2009, 10:21:09 AM »
Thank you guys, I will read the welcome thread.  What got me worried was that someone said if I had cuts in the skin or bleeding hemorroids then precum could get in there and the risk would be much higher.  I thank you lots!! 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2009, 10:39:15 AM »
HIV is a fragile virus. I don't see it having been a risk in the circumstances as you have reported them IF the guy was HIV+.  Those "hearsay" reports should be illegal. So much fear generated by so little knowledge.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2009, 10:44:08 AM »
Thank you Andy, long time ago I asked you a question and you brought me peace of mind.  I just want you to know that you are very important to a lot of us who know you are here.  Take care.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2009, 10:52:54 AM »
Thank you. You're very kind. I'm glad you found these exchanges to have been helpful.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2009, 08:19:05 AM »
I hate to waste your time with this obsession, although there was no penetration he did put it in my butt, just outside for about a second or two, if I had been bleeding with hemorroids and he in fact had precum, are there chances I could be at risk? I just want to figure out if the virus has to have very specific circumstances to spread or if it can be spread by precum-hemmorroid contact just outside the anus

Offline Ann

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2009, 09:26:22 AM »
Never,

Why keep asking the same question? You've already been told you didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2009, 10:41:17 AM »
Ok, I just dont understand what they mean when they say there is some risk associated with possibly having a cut and teasing in the butt.  I also read that precum could have a high viral load. It is contradicting in some ways but I trust this website, plus it sounds like there has to be penetration and ejaculation for infection to occur, excuse my ignorance, you know how the mind can play games with you. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2009, 10:46:11 AM »
You have to have penetrative anal or vaginal sex but you don't need to have ejaculation to transmit HIV. Precum can transmit HIV. Use condoms correctly and consistently and you won't have a worry of contracting HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2009, 10:57:11 AM »
Yes, the mind can play tricks with you and I don't know the "they" is you are referring to with other inaccurate opinons -- and I definitely not interested in getting into a debate about the issues.

From everything you reported there was no risk. There has to be unprotected penetration for there to be a real risk of transmission. I'm assuming you have a good sense of whether a penis is INSIDE your butt as contrasted with one rubbing against you,up to and including pressing against your anus, but not penetrating.

As long as no penetration took place, and whether there was precum or even ejaculation  without penetration, then there was no risk for transmission. As if that wasn't all enough, you were in the shower together and the fragility of the HIV virus, if present, would be even more unable to transmit viably in such a circumstance.

Give it up and get on with your life is my suggestion.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2009, 11:54:06 AM »
It cant get clearer than that.  I want to get on with my life, but it seems like my obsessive behavior gets in the way of me enjoying aspects of my life like sexuality.  I have a tendency to freak out about acts that do not pose risk, I am sad and tired about worrying about HIV.  I saw my brother not get any treatment and pass away when I was 18 so I think that really shocked me.  After my divorce I began having some fuck buddies (always with a condom) but it seems like I never get pleasure out of it after sex and Im beginning to think that sex is something I could give up for some time until I go to some therapy or get a hold of my obsessions.  I have though about giving up any sex with men so that I wont have this deep depressions. In any case I appreciate the guidance. 

Offline Ann

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2009, 02:17:30 PM »
Never,

It doesn't matter whether you have sex with men or women, you still need to use condoms. You can become infected from anal or vaginal intercourse with a woman too - if you don't use condoms.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2009, 03:12:11 PM »
Along with following Ann's admonition that you ALWAYS use condoms with whomever your partners maybe, I also suggest you see a therapist or other such professional. From what you have written it seems as if getting some support with finding out what you want in you life would be helpful.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2009, 08:36:24 AM »
This incident was on the 29th of December, I got tested on the 6th of January came back negative.  The rep at the Health Center said I need to go back 3 months after the last exposure because that is what the CDC says. I fell into a deep depression and will go to dr. today.  Can't eat, can't work.  Sorry if I bother, but I have a mental picture of precum and bleeding hemorroids infecting me that wont go away, that is what the Health Center guy said, that in theory it could be spread that way. Oh my ...   

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2009, 09:28:30 AM »
Never,

In theory, you could walk outside and get hit by a meteorite. Do you think that's going to happen? You're not going to be infected by a theoretical risk either.

Continue to test if you like, but don't be surprised when you test negative again. You don't have hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2009, 06:46:47 PM »
Ann,

     I thank you for being so direct about this whole deal.  Im thinking back, well I have not had any unprotected anal sex with anyone in the last few months, I've had a few partners but I've always used protection, which means I haven't had any real risks.  You are blunt but for people like me that is a good thing because it helps me snap out of the shadows and start thinking objectively and not out of guilt or remorse.

That depression I went through last week was scary, I was losing my mind, but come to think of it, no penetration, no infection right? 

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2009, 05:34:20 AM »
Never,

No unprotected  anal or vaginal penetration - no infection.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline neverends

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  • Posts: 13
Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2009, 01:21:19 PM »


Hi all, as it turns out that guy in the shower ended up giving me herpes.  Went to the Doctor after I got symptoms two weeks after the ordeal.    I know he did not penetrate me fully, but if he got far enough with his dick to my mucous membranes to give me herpes, what are the chances of me getting HIV if he was infected?  Precum worries me.  I know they are two different viruses but I just dont know, Im thinking the risk is high if there was precum and he put it in deep enough when he opened my butt cheeks.  Oh my ... 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2009, 01:26:29 PM »
You have been advised more than once that you didn't have a risk of contracting HIV. No more discussion on this.

Offline Ann

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2009, 01:36:47 PM »
Never,

Herpes transmission only takes skin-to-skin contact. Hiv transmission takes UNPROTECTED anal or vaginal INTERCOURSE. If you had his dick in you, you would have known about it.

You had NO RISK for hiv infection.

If you've read the welcome thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #22 on: June 02, 2010, 07:24:54 PM »
As it turns out I didnt have herpes, that doctor who said I did was sooo irresponsible, anyway ... I met a guy online and we had sex twice today ... The condom broke the second time and I came inside him, did not notice until I pulled out.  The guy is 19 yrs old, seems decent, but you know how that goes and I was wondering about risk since it is considered unprotected anal sex although I was the top, any thoughts on this risk please ...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2010, 07:34:44 PM »
As it turns out I didnt have herpes, that doctor who said I did was sooo irresponsible, anyway ... I met a guy online and we had sex twice today ... The condom broke the second time and I came inside him, did not notice until I pulled out.  The guy is 19 yrs old, seems decent, but you know how that goes and I was wondering about risk since it is considered unprotected anal sex although I was the top, any thoughts on this risk please ...

Thank you for returning to your original thread.

Before I answer your question, I'd point out that your comments about the boy you fucked seeming "decent" is actually a bit offensive. You imply that those of us with HIV are in some way indecent or of poor character.

I am HIV positive (as are almost all of the people who post here) and I don't appreciate that characterisation. Please choose your words more thoughtfully in future.

With that said, a broken condom constitutes an extremely low risk for the top. You should be tested for HIV (and other STDs as well) three months from the date of this encounter. You should expect the result on the HIV test to be negative.

MtD

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2010, 07:39:03 PM »
I apologize, you are absolutely right, I didnt think about my words, I'd never try to offend anyone, so I take that back I regret writing that stupid comment ...  I know it could happen to any of us ... Andy u there?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #25 on: June 02, 2010, 08:08:27 PM »
What do you need me for? Another voice to tell you the same thing that you didn't have a risk? Well you didn't. And if you come back about this stuff again you are definitely going to get a Time Out.

Give it up and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline neverends

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #26 on: June 02, 2010, 09:06:12 PM »
ok, ok ... thanks ...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #27 on: June 03, 2010, 07:23:39 AM »
I do want to correct something. A broken condom is technically actually a risk, albeit a very low one. You should get tested at 13 weeks just to confirm your negative status.

This was a single incident and it's much harder to transmit HIV for the insertive partner to become infected than the other way round. The condom protected you until it broke. I've known many such accidents to happen and they have never resulted in the wearer of the broken condom to have been infected. So with that in mind I suggest getting tested even though I feel certain you will test negative.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2010, 07:27:02 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Exposure in the shower
« Reply #28 on: June 03, 2010, 08:21:10 AM »
Never,

Are you aware that a correctly used condom rarely breaks? You said (in the thread I deleted) that the second time you had intercourse with this lad, you didn't use lube. Well, that's what happens when you neglect to use lube - the condom breaks. Please learn from this and make sure you've got plenty of lube on hand.

And read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence. A correctly used and stored condom rarely breaks. Don't forget to keep an eye on their use-by date.

I agree with Matty and Andy that while your risk in this instance is very low, you do need to test at the appropriate time. Don't forget to get checked out for the other, more easily transmitted STIs as well.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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