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Eric Bemisderfer


Eric was running through Prospect Park in Brooklyn one sunny afternoon in 1988. We spied each other and my heart rushed. Eric was radiant, airy, and gorgeous. We kissed in the sun-dappled bushes. He had a light touch and I had a broken heart which his presence immediately patched together.

God, this was a awhile ago, a story buried in time, loss, bittersweet memories. I don't even have a photograph.

Google him and you won't get much if anything, since his minor mark on the public arena came in marginal venues themselves lost to time and the gentrification of NYC.  Eric was an "East Village" artist -- ABC No Rio, No Se No, Rivington School -- that sort of crowd/places, but I didn't know him from then, but a quieter, transitional phase a few years after. He lived in a small decayed marble bank in Carroll Gardens that he had converted into an underheated bohemian palace.  He was making a buck, waiting, dreaming.

He left Buffalo at 18 -- young man from the provinces -- to study art in New York.  Legend has he shared a squat with Madonna. He had a fleeting moment of art fame and then he was regrouping when HIV cut him down. Too young, too beautiful, talented but no genius - a tragedy out of expressionist German silent cinema.

He was a looker, that's for sure.  And charming.  Also you knew he had never in his life hurt a fly, let alone a person, cliché as that sounds. How many people can you say that about?  I really don't think he was vulnerable or naive, but he was fragile.

I knew him about 9 months, during which he was first diagnosed HIV+, then had a few wretched bouts with pneumonia, and then he killed himself. His brief time living with HIV AIDS has nothing much to do with what his time on this earth meant, I would imagine, but I never met his family, didn't know his art, and only met his circle of friends at that sad end. I felt utterly twisted in our time together - bliss that I had found him, in love, yet afraid of love, afraid of hiv, bewildered by his esoteric beliefs, choices.

So 2009 is the 20th anniversary of his death - but I'd love to know more about the 20 years before 1989.  I miss him terribly now.  We were lovers but frankly I don't know if I was a great love for him, and I didn't know then if he was my true love.  His being so sick and clearly dying really threw a wrench into it. He was so light, especially in how he loved, and I was so heavy then. I knew he was special but his being, soul, value, was beyond my comprehension, and only time has shown me how wonderful he was.

I don't know who I'm writing this for. You, forum readers, strangers to me and Eric?  To Eric, oh i wish, but that's hopeless he's gone.  To myself? 

Forum reader, please think of someone especially gossamer in your life, and if you don't already, you MUST love him or her unconditionally, because those are rare souls on this earth, and that love will honor Eric Bemisderfer.

J. Bemisderfer/Hartman:
Please, I am Eric's sister, Jennifer.  I would love to talk to anyone who knew my brother before he died june 26, 1989.  I have been searching , and found this post from mecch.  Please e-mail me at   I miss him too, he was a unique, fragile, beautiful person.  It's been 20 years, my family has still not dealt very well with the death of my brother, I need some answers...totally confidential...I am begging for help.  If you knew Eric please contact me. Thank you, Jennifer Bemisderfer/Hartman

J. Bemisderfer/Hartman:
I pray to GOD someone sees my cry for help! I'm Eric Bemisderfer's sister...I need to talk to you if you knew him, mecch, if your out there please contact me at

J. Bemisderfer/Hartman:
My brother Eric Bemisderfer died June 26, 1989.  I am Jennifer, his sister.  I found the post from mecch, and my heart jumped....someone who knew Eric and loved Eric actually posted a memerial for him, you didn't know who you were talking to (you said that at the bottom of your post) Well, I believe it was for me!  I have been searching for information on my brother, I have been praying for God to show me a way to get involved for his cause.  I loved my brother dearly, his death was such a blur for me.  It happened so fast. I would love to talk to you if you knew Eric, it would mean the world to me.  It will be twenty years this June Eric has been gone. If there is anyone out there who can help me, please contact me at

Dear Jennifer,

I have private messengered you with my contact information. And will email you now.

My identity is strictly confidential on this forum.

Mutual prayers have been answered.  Strange, beautiful moment.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.



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