HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

28 day percentile question

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I am a man and last week tried to have unprotected sex with my new boyfriend.  He tried to have anal sex with me but he was not excited enough and was limp.   After a few times of him trying to get it in we just gave up.  Sorry for being graphic.

I freaked out and went ahead and got tested for hiv the next day which was negative of course.  I am now waiting for the 3 month period to go again.

I looked under the are you at risk section but did not see anything for "almost" did it.  I am just wondering if my risk is any less since there was no real penetration?

You were never penetrated.

 I fail to see any HIV risk in the scenario as you described it.

However, you tried to have unprotected sex? How come? Until you and your partner have reliably tested negative, and have decided on a mutually exclusive relationship, using a latex condom is essential to avoid STDs, including HIV.

As Ann says, to consent to having unprotected penetrative sex is to consent to the possibility of getting an STD, including HIV. It's so easy to avoid HIV sexually, and I urge you to do so.

Andy Velez:
It doesn't seem to me from what you have reported that there was any penetration. If that is so then I don't see any risk nor any need for testing.

However I do want to ask how come you were trying to have unprotected intercourse? You need to know that everytime you have unprotected intercourse you are putting your life at risk. It's as stark and as simple as that. So what does it matter if you get all anxious afterwards about it when the thing you really need to do is to not put yourself at risk in the first place.

You can have all the sex with whomever you want to as often as you want to. But if you are going to have intercourse, whoever is the insertive partner must be wearing a condom. They provide very effective protection.

This time I don't see any cause for concern about the incident but you need to learn from this experience and quit gambling with your life. It doesn't matter how much you like the guy or how great he looks or what you think you know about him. A latex condom is a must everytime.

Thanks for the quick reply.  We were both drinking and it was a heat of the moment thing.  I know it was STUPID of us about 2 minutes after.

So even though there was contact and pushing beteween us(sorry for being graphic again) the risk should be fairly low?


The risk in the event you describe was not "fairly low", it was non-existent as penetration did not take place. What happened would fall under the heading of "frottage", which is a fancy way of saying that you rubbed body parts together without penetration. Frottage is NO risk.

Make sure you and your partner(s) are using condoms from now on for penetrative intercourse. Check out the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can be sure they are being used correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks and they are excellent protection against hiv transmission.

Use them.



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