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Author Topic: Want to put this to rest need advice from others  (Read 1861 times)

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Offline mrg83

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Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« on: December 29, 2008, 12:11:43 PM »
Hi I need your opinion as to my story as I want to put this to rest and stop worrying about it.  So here is my story and I will keep it as breif as I can.  So I have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year with my girlfriend and I know her status is HIV Negative.  I told her I was the same, but I just assumed it.  Stupid I know for saying that, did I start to think and wonder, yes I did because I put her at risk and did not want to any longer.  So I went and got tested with a rapid antibody test 7.5 months into our relationship because I wanted to make sure that I did not get infected from any past relationships before my current one because I have had unportected intercourse in the past but I dont know if any of them had the virus.  However, like I mentioned my past exposures to others have been 7.5 months and further into my past prior to my HIV test, so if I were to have had a risk to the virus it would have been in that time period.  My test results came back "Non Reactive" which I am guessing means negative.  Does that mean I am HIV Negative and did not get it from any of these past partners?  Please give me your adivce.  Thank you so much in advance.

Offline Ann

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2008, 12:46:31 PM »
mrg,

For a start, what makes you so sure your girlfriend is hiv negative? She could just be assuming that she is, just like you assumed you were. And just because you tested negative doesn't mean she isn't positive. I was with a negative partner for eighteen months before we discovered my positive status, and yet he remained hiv negative. We used condoms after my diagnosis and he's still hiv negative, but he might not have been if we hadn't started using condoms.

The only way to be sure of your partner's hiv status is to test TOGETHER.

You are conclusively hiv negative where your past relationships are concerned. Where your current relationship is concerned, well, this is a grey area as from where I sit, I don't see how you can possibly know, without doubt, what her status is. You cannot tell by looking at someone and you can't go by what they tell you. After all, YOU claimed to be hiv negative when in fact, you didn't really know. She may not know either.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Hiv status is NOTHING to guess about, whether it is your status or that of your partner.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mrg83

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2008, 01:02:02 PM »
Ann,

She was tested as well so we know her status.  I told her i was negative and was the one that made the mistake without getting tested.  That is why I wrote to you to make sure my status is negative from all my past partners, which I am correct?  that is definite and conclusive?  Thank you for your advice and efforts.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2008, 01:19:58 PM »
mrg,

As long as she tested three months or more after her last incident of unprotected intercourse with a previous partner, then she's hiv negative as well. (I hope you saw the test results and aren't just taking her word for it. Sorry if this sounds like I'm sowing seeds of doubt, but hiv is nothing to be complacent about.)

And as I said before, yes, you are conclusively hiv negative where your previous relationships are concerned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mrg83

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2008, 02:21:59 PM »
Ann,

She was tested and followed the guidelines of getting tested over three months from her last exposure.  Actually meeting her was the best thing for me as I stopped my careless lifestyle that I had before.  I was just woried about my test results and from my past partners and what not.  I guess now I am a worry wart and just always have this fear of my test being wrong and really having it and me giving it to her.  There is no chance of having the virus from one of these past expsoures that I had and coming back Non Reactive correct?

I also have to say this is the best forumn that I have been on.  You have given great advice with quick turnaround.  Thank you for all of your time.

MRG

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2008, 02:57:37 PM »
You're worrying needlessly. From what you have reported you have both reliably tested negative and there's no need for further testing.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline mrg83

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2008, 03:43:43 PM »
Thank you so much for your time and efforts!!!!

So there is absolutely no way possible that I could have gotten infected with the virus from my expsoures 7.5 months and more from other partners before my current relationship?  My exposures to my current girlfriend would not alter the results or anything correct? 
« Last Edit: December 30, 2008, 03:47:13 PM by mrg83 »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2008, 03:46:59 PM »
Let me try to understand you. You come here ask questions then you go to MedHelp and answer people's posts. Doesn't make sense now does it?

Offline mrg83

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2008, 03:48:46 PM »
No it doesnt.  I appologize.  I need to believe my results. 

Once again I am sorry.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2008, 04:04:10 PM »
Thank you so much for your time and efforts!!!!

So there is absolutely no way possible that I could have gotten infected with the virus from my expsoures 7.5 months and more from other partners before my current relationship?  My exposures to my current girlfriend would not alter the results or anything correct? 

What's with all this back and forth drama???!!!! As long as you have reported everything accurately to us you are HIV negative. Period. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline mrg83

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2009, 04:25:57 PM »
i want to thank everyone for their help and you have all made me feel a lot better.  I have recently asked my girlfriend to marry me so we are now engaged.  also since i tested negative alomst 8 months into our relationship which was 8 months after my last exposure to my absolute last partner other then my fiance proving that i did not get infected from my past and as long as i never go outside our relationship i can know that i will never put her at risk.  correct? 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Want to put this to rest need advice from others
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2009, 05:54:44 PM »
You have no cause for further concern about HIV at this time.

You and your betrothed can safely dispense with using condoms IF you are both absolutely comfortable that you're in a securely monogamous relationship.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

 


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