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Author Topic: Lack of knowledge in Ireland.  (Read 427 times)

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Offline G-Irish

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Lack of knowledge in Ireland.
« on: August 29, 2016, 07:06:30 PM »
So I just moved back to Ireland from the UK. I've been undetectable for 2 years and knew from previous visits home the sexual health knowledge gap between Ireland and the UK was pretty significant as well as the services provided!

However on return I've had my first personal "bad" experience. Starting seeing a guy - after the second date disclosed my status as it was going pretty great which doesn't happen me often (via text - don't enjoy the occasional look of pity/disgust you can get face to face). Told him he could ask any question he had. He asked a few questions but seemed ok with it.
He has suddenly text me today saying although he is mad about me, hasn't felt this kind of connection before but just can't take the risk and wants to end things. I thought the "risk" he was talking about was getting his heart broken. But a couple of messages later he confirmed the risk was him catching HIV.
I had already explained that as I was undetectable and when you're safe there's no real risk. My reply after he eventually admitted it was the hiv that was the problem was slightly heated - but mostly because he was choosing to end the relationship in it's infancy with no information because he couldn't be bothered to do a bit of research, by either asking me or a basic Google search. I'm finding this very tough as one of my biggest fears about moving back to Ireland has been the stigma here. I rarely had a bad reaction in the UK and have found the level of sexual health knowledge or the complete lack of here in Ireland quite scary. This situation had just confirmed the fears I had about moving home.

Not sure what I want from this post - maybe just to vent. I only have 1-2 friends I can talk to about this stuff with and they're back in the UK. As great as my friends are here only one of them knows my staid and he's not gay so relationship conversations can be awkward.
So any advice would be great, or personal experiences especially from Ireland.

Thanks in advance from a pissed of Irish guy!

Online JimDublin

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Re: Lack of knowledge in Ireland.
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2016, 02:34:37 AM »

I normally disclose face to face and it nearly always goes well with the odd exception and things work out just fine for me. Sorry to hear you had a bad reaction, i am not sure texting is the best way to disclose if i am honest. If you are going to date/hook-up in Ireland my approach is back to basics presuming the other person knows absolutely nothing.

the sexual health knowledge gap between Ireland and the UK was pretty significant as well as the services provided!

Yeah... I mean we basically have a few generations walking around in Ireland with no sex education at all and the younger ones still tend to have very poor education on the topic of sex combined with general lack of HIV knowledge in frontline care staff (GP's/Nurses) and this is all part of the problem in Ireland.

Your experience could always be worse, I once kissed someone (Co.Meath) and she spend 30 min crying believing I had given her HIV.  But overall with the odd exception my experience has not been too bad or a problem.

« Last Edit: August 30, 2016, 02:46:12 AM by JimDublin »
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