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Author Topic: do i expect too much from online chats?  (Read 2982 times)

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Offline woodshere

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  • ain't no shame in my game
do i expect too much from online chats?
« on: December 05, 2008, 11:12:08 AM »
Obviously, if I have to ask myself this question I know the answer.  But what I am really interested in is why guys do this.  Recently I have been chatting a little more online.   Not really after hook-ups, just trying to be more proactive in meeting guys, maybe a friendship could develop or even a possible date.  I have had really nice chats with three guys in particular.  Nothing related to "what are you into" or "how big is your dick".  All three were the first to give me their emails and even phone numbers saying they would like to continue talking and maybe get together.  I respond with my email address and say that would be great. 

Later that day or the next I will drop an email and say something about how i enjoyed chatting or something like that, hope that we will do it again soon and hope they will drop me a line when they have a chance.

As can be expected nada, zero, nothing.  Here's is the deal why offer an email address and phone number if you have no intention of continuing any type of communication.  And I know this is no different than getting phone numbers in bars and all that shit.  I am just the type of person that if I offer any personal information it is done so with the true intent of being interested in continuing whatever has already happened.   Does this behavior feed some sort of ego or self esteem issue or do guys just do it as a joke.  Could someone help me out here.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2008, 11:34:00 AM »
Could someone help me out here.

Honey, people are flakes.  And a few may be going through a rough patch.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2008, 12:42:45 PM »
Woods my proposal of marriage still stands. :-*

Offline woodshere

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2008, 01:19:59 PM »
Woods my proposal of marriage still stands. :-*

Why Thank You!!  You know the first time I married i did so for love, and while I do love you my dear, the second time I marry must be for either a big check book or a big dick, both of which were seriously lacking the first go around.  Now if you have either of those rent the reception hall, I am renting a UHaul tomorrow and moving to Memphis!!!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2008, 01:31:21 PM »
or a big dick

How about a fist up your ass and a golden shower?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2008, 01:35:29 PM »
Why Thank You!!  You know the first time I married i did so for love, and while I do love you my dear, the second time I marry must be for either a big check book or a big dick, both of which were seriously lacking the first go around.  Now if you have either of those rent the reception hall, I am renting a UHaul tomorrow and moving to Memphis!!!

Start packing! While not rich, I've been told that I do posses a certain attribute that the mo's seem to appreciate. So get your plump little bum down here while I fish the Viagra out of my hope chest. I'm getting a little tingly in my boy place just thinking about it.

 :-*

Offline Dachshund

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2008, 01:36:56 PM »
How about a fist up your ass and a golden shower?

Can't you read numnuts? Woods said he wasn't marrying for love this time.

Offline woodshere

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2008, 01:47:05 PM »
How about a fist up your ass and a golden shower?
Can't you read numnuts? Woods said he wasn't marrying for love this time.

Geez, you both know me so well!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2008, 02:00:29 PM »
Behave yourself Bottom Boy, or Doxie will cut off the chat tout suite and spiral you into depression territory.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2008, 02:11:11 PM »
Behave yourself Bottom Boy, or Doxie will cut off the chat tout suite and spiral you into depression territory.

Except for a half a dozen or so domestic battery convictions, I'm the perfect boyfriend.

Offline Rural_oz

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2008, 04:15:29 PM »
Hi Woodshere.
Not all men are bastards, I found my current partner in an on-line gay chatroom.  We met a few weeks later at a local pub and have been together in a monogomous relationship for the last 5 1/2 years.
Even more: he is neg. and has been a huge support for me.
You just have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince mate   :-*

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2008, 06:13:29 PM »
  Does this behavior feed some sort of ego or self esteem issue or do guys just do it as a joke.  Could someone help me out here.

Yes Woods,

You have fed an ego and you probably thought the guy was hot.  At least in a bar or another real life situation, you would have actually seen the guy.  In real life, they can gain 20 years and 20 pounds in 20 minutes, if they even use their own picture.

I went on a date once with a contractor, who was building a winery in the Napa valley, met him online.  He chose the restaurant and bought me a nice dinner.  We did not have sex in the public bathroom that night or any other time but did exchange phone numbers.  For some reason, his "ex-wife" was always visiting when I called, she and I became better friends.

There was another one who claimed to be 48 and was an author.  I ran his name on Barnes and Noble before our first date.  He had at least 20 titles on cooking and outdoor entertaining.  We met on Valentines day at a Bed and Breakfast on the Sonoma Coast.  He wasn't 48, he was at least 68.  Dinner was on him, his friends were fascinating and I did not stay the night.  Chat rooms are a place to chat and talk is cheap.  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline dgr20002

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  • Posts: 288
Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2008, 07:51:28 AM »
I thought I saw you over there on gay.comn  :o

It isn't much different in person, They say they will call, give contact info etc and then you don't hear from them more often than not.  You can call them, and they will be cordial but maybe 2 out of 10 will ever meet you again.

I think people just get caught up in the moment.  Then the next day they have another moment or two.  Your moment has already passed.


Look for me on gaycom.  I can chat too.

dcdave861

David

Offline Texan38

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #13 on: December 06, 2008, 08:56:06 AM »
I don't understand why guys do that either but yea, one has to go through a bunch of crap and weed out the bad seeds before finding people who are truly genuine.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline Merlin

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  • As My WILL, So MOTE It Be !
Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2008, 01:55:10 PM »
It is not the right thing to do but it is very very common in online encounters. Others can behave like  jerks but those who know better, should always try and offer goodwill.
 
Sadly, we live in a disposable society & good people do get hurt, whether intentionally or not. Main thing is, keep your own self respect intact even if you had to scale a tree to get laid. Accept and move on. It's pointless to wonder why and such. It's akin to telling everyone to abstain from sex before marriage.

From my own experiences, alot pre & mostly post ONS get cold feet if you show too much interest/niceness. They confuse your goodwill with desperation to wanting commitment. They see themselves as being "too sexy" for anyone and want the freedom to choose whom or how they date. Everyday women face these all the time with men. I call these jerks, delusional. Any chance I get, I always tell them not to flatter themselves if their paranoia bobs up from my encounters. It really does not bother me much. It's the rule of the jungle. A fact of life. I dun tolerate it but I have to accept it. However, I always offer goodwill as a basic respect for another human being. If I dun sense a reciprocity, then so be it, it's not my loss-seriously. And I've always been told I'm an attractive guy. It's the , "it's me, not you" excuse...zzz. Truth be told, I believe it's variety that floats their boat. Dun take it personally. ;)

So, save your pennies for the Love/Soulmate/ Prince that will come one day. Mine did, almost 3 years ago and I am more than grateful. I was not looking but it happened when it's supposed to. He's -ve but has no issues with my status nor loving me for who I am. We genuinely love each other to the core.
So, just be, it will happen to you when the right one comes along. Just be patient.

I totally agree with Rural_oz and Texan 38. U may need to kiss alot frogs, but there is really a Prince somewhere.. Pucker up and stock up on lip balm. :-*

PS: You look for your Prince Charming. So does your Prince Charming look for his too. So make sure u try and keep your own complete attributes in order before whining. Fair is fair ya? 8)
« Last Edit: December 06, 2008, 04:27:21 PM by Merlin »
I'll leave Hatred to those not strong enough to Love.

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Make It Happen...

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Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2008, 04:15:57 PM »
 ;)  what they say about kissing alot of frogs...  it goes with chats, emails, bars and the like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

ďNeither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2008, 04:48:50 PM »
I met Walter on Gay.com but not in a chat room, a few men (4) within a 50 mile radius were each sent a email.  To Walter, I said I was "bold, brash and obnoxious in public" and asked when we should meet.  The Full Moon was void in course, in a total eclipse and had gone into Virgo which is ruled by Mercury.

That Moon was opposite Neptune, Sextile Mars, and Trine Pluto, all favorable aspects for the evening.  I called the corners, invoked the powers of the spirit elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water, built a fire and as the fire reached it's peak, threw in the profiles of the 4 men along with Roses, Damiana, Lavender, Raspberry, Rosemary, Red Clover, Frankincense and Myrrh.  My Grandmother would have been proud.  

I lit 4 red candles, one for each man and asked that if any of these men could possibly fall in love with me, he would contact me the next day.  Walter contacted me the next day saying being "bold, brash and obnoxious in public were all very good traits" and asked that we meet.  That was last February, he is still here and I blocked my Gay.com profile from public view months ago.  Creatures of wax and fire beat a chat room any day.  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline mecch

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2008, 08:21:18 PM »
Later that day or the next I will drop an email and say something about how i enjoyed chatting or something like that, hope that we will do it again soon and hope they will drop me a line when they have a chance.

Dare I suggest you pick up the phone and invite them for a date.  Then they will accept or decline. I bet you will get more acceptances when you take the contact out of the virtual, into the real.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline David_CA

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2008, 08:35:24 PM »
Dare I suggest you pick up the phone and invite them for a date.  Then they will accept or decline. I bet you will get more acceptances when you take the contact out of the virtual, into the real.


I agree.  Often, people are just uncomfortable and won't make the first move.  I expect sex and occasionally a friendship from online chats.  I generally get both (not necessarily from the same guy, though).  However, I wouldn't be too upset if I was a bit more 'profitable' in both areas!   ;)
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Offline joemutt

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Re: do i expect too much from online chats?
« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2008, 10:55:05 PM »
Obviously, if I have to ask myself this question I know the answer.  But what I am really interested in is why guys do this.  Recently I have been chatting a little more online.   Not really after hook-ups, just trying to be more proactive in meeting guys, maybe a friendship could develop or even a possible date.  I have had really nice chats with three guys in particular.  Nothing related to "what are you into" or "how big is your dick".  All three were the first to give me their emails and even phone numbers saying they would like to continue talking and maybe get together.  I respond with my email address and say that would be great. 

Later that day or the next I will drop an email and say something about how i enjoyed chatting or something like that, hope that we will do it again soon and hope they will drop me a line when they have a chance.

As can be expected nada, zero, nothing.  Here's is the deal why offer an email address and phone number if you have no intention of continuing any type of communication.  And I know this is no different than getting phone numbers in bars and all that shit.  I am just the type of person that if I offer any personal information it is done so with the true intent of being interested in continuing whatever has already happened.   Does this behavior feed some sort of ego or self esteem issue or do guys just do it as a joke.  Could someone help me out here.

Be more "dififcult", that will make it easier. Dont show 'eager'. Or pick up the phone and call. Banalize it.
I had profiles up for three years before I decided/managed to meet someone. But never went in chat mode.
I had decided to limit time/communication before meeting.
Just a few PMs and then we met. A good guy.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2008, 11:03:38 PM by joemutt »

 


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