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Author Topic: One year in...  (Read 1646 times)

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Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
One year in...
« on: August 02, 2006, 12:45:56 AM »

To be honest I wondered if I should even make this post.  I guess to most it's probably not that big of a deal now, but it has been said the first year is the hardest.  I know some are still venturing towards the one year mark, so maybe my thoughts on this may be helpful.

I do suppose even though part of me feels a bit flippant about this day, another part of me really can't deny it's a pretty significant day in my life.  So anyway, I was infected with HIV one year ago today.

It definitely wasn't a good day, but that fact really has nothing to do with HIV.  It was the hottest day of the year.  Maybe the hottest day I've ever had in Chicago.  I scrambled around trying to get rent money (a long story).  I sat at a bus stop sweating like crazy for 40 mins.  The bus never came.  I finally just went to a movie theater to cool down for a few hours.  My point is that six months ago this type of shitty day really would've destroyed me.  It would've been too much to handle with everything else.  But today it was just another crappy day.  I still think about HIV alot, but I imagine today I equally contemplated how great it'd be for the sun to go away.  I even sat in a coffee shop reading a book about Japan.  I stopped for a second and realized I haven't read any books outside of the subject of HIV in the past year.  Wow.  What a relief it is to think about something else!!

Of course, worst of all...it's been one year since I had sex.  So sad.  Hopefully it won't turn into two.

So that's my anniversary.

much love,
brian


Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,646
Re: One year in...
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2006, 01:02:46 AM »
Brian.

YOu wrote a magnificant post one day last week how one day can make all the difference. 

I guess one year can too.  And yes, you're absolutely right in commerating (maybe not the right word) this "anniversary".  It is a big deal.  TO me and the others on here who are going to try to help you in anyway we can.

By the way, don't give up on the sex thing quite yet.  Have you been reading Skeeboi69?  He first joined up last fall as "SadTom" and was ready to just throw everything to the wind.  Well, he has since met Rasheen here at AIDSMEDS and my gawd he's on cloud 9.  If it happened once, for sure it will happen again.

robert

(who is just not whistling Dixie.  In spite of it being a long, hot summer and the weird moods everyone has been in, good things do happen here.)
..........

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: One year in...
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2006, 02:33:52 AM »
hey wait till ya get to TEN YEARS. Time's fun when you're having flies :)

Congrats on sticking around.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: One year in...
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2006, 07:05:14 PM »
Hey Brian,

Happy anniversary if those are the right words.  You know what I'm trying to say anyway.

xx
Matt
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: One year in...
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2006, 10:33:24 PM »

Thanks everyone.

I'm sure ten years is quite a mark.  I'd say 'I can't imagine', but I think I can.  It'll be great!

And I have not lost hope for love.  And the AM community's accounts of finding love is a big reason for my continued hope. 

I see my doc tomorrow.  I guess we'll see how my virus feels about being one year old.  I'm hoping it feels horrible :P we will see.

love,
brian

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: One year in...
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2006, 10:48:45 PM »
Hello Brian, it is Eldon. I wanted to say congratulations on (1) one year!. Things will be fine and it will work itself out. Never give up on HOPE..because right when you are not looking, LOVE will be staring you right in the face!

 


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