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Author Topic: OK - Am I Crazy  (Read 2817 times)

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Offline PeteNYNJ

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OK - Am I Crazy
« on: November 22, 2008, 07:49:06 PM »
I invited my recent ex to my family's thanksgiving.   I felt bad he would be by himself.  My family likes him and my niece LOVES him.   He will be staying at my house that night - I don't want it to be sexual but we will sleep in the same bed due my my tiny apartment.  How do I create boundaries without making it uncomfortable?

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2008, 07:51:22 PM »
Wear ugly pajamas... with footies.

Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2008, 09:05:02 PM »
I invited my recent ex to my family's thanksgiving.   I felt bad he would be by himself.  My family likes him and my niece LOVES him.   He will be staying at my house that night - I don't want it to be sexual but we will sleep in the same bed due my my tiny apartment.  How do I create boundaries without making it uncomfortable?

Tell him  NO, most people know what that means, if he doesn't like that, he can go sleep in a Motel  ???
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2008, 09:07:30 PM »
Wear ugly pajamas... with footies.
or maybe try some of that green face-mask goop and rollers in your hair  :D

but really, if I was in your position, I think I'd be sure to stay clothed, point out his side of the bed, climb in, say good night and turn off the light while mumbling something about a long day and glad to be getting to sleep. Any funny business just use the "i'm tired" line again or say "thanks, but I'd rather not"

I guess it all depends on how the relationship ended, how well he takes hints, and how adamant you are about not doing any hanky-panky.  ;)

and by the way, what a nice gesture on your part  ;D The holidays shouldn't have to be spent alone.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2008, 09:34:35 PM »
I think I'd be sure to stay clothed, point out his side of the bed, climb in, say good night and turn off the light while mumbling something about a long day and glad to be getting to sleep. Any funny business just use the "i'm tired"

Sounds like someone has been married.  ;)

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2008, 09:49:38 PM »
You could have a "sleep-over" and stay up all night with your hair in rollers, doing your nails, giggle and call boys... the alternative, "I have a headache, go to sleep".   ;D  Have the best day
Michael
(who is spending Thanxgiving and Christmas alone) 

Offline weasel

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2008, 10:30:51 PM »
It is really nice of you  to envite your EX for thanksgiving

 says so much about where you are coming from  :-*

  If it were me ?

  I would sleep in what ever it is I felt comfortable .

  Do not make the mistake of bringing up no sex ,after you are ready for bed !

  Start the day off with pleasant talk ,but be clear you are being  a friend and not a lover .

  GOD bless you for being so kind hearted , makes me feel warm and fuzzy  :)

  I could never sleep with a man and not touch at least a foot or a cuddle .

 But that is  what we do everynight  :o

                         Have a great thanksgiving , I think  the EX will be a gentleman  :)

                                                    Turkey makes me tired  ;)
                                                                                          Karl

 
" Live and let Live "

Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2008, 11:02:11 PM »


and by the way, what a nice gesture on your part  ;D The holidays shouldn't have to be spent alone.

Oh, I spent it alone before, back in 91 when my 1st partner died, I however ended up at a soup kitchen serving holiday meals to the Homeless, it was wonderful to do, and it kept my mind off of what had happened a month before the holidays  ;D some people are always less fortunate than others  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Life

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2008, 04:32:49 AM »
I don't know about you but not being sexual with a guy in the same bed is a fairly difficult maneuver. The curlers and face cream is certainly a deterrent, but not a guarantee.  Time to hit Bed Bath and Beyond and get an Areo-Bed..  It comes in handy for all sorts of occasions besides the Ex visit(s). 

Its ever so nice for you to make hisThanksgiving special.  I hope the karma rubs off and that you both have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Eric

Offline bear60

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2008, 11:55:50 AM »
OR.....you can decide that he's an ex with priviledges. He must be pretty hot or you wouldnt be having this conversatuion.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Basquo

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2008, 12:20:57 PM »
OR.....you can decide that he's an ex with priviledges. He must be pretty hot or you wouldnt be having this conversatuion.

No shit.  Just do him!

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2008, 05:05:17 PM »
LOL  Thanks for the advice guys

He is pretty cute - I don't do ugly :)

I think it will be fine - I just don't want any drama.  He is pretty chill guy (sometimes to a fault) so I am sure it will be ok.

Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2008, 06:25:39 PM »
LOL  Thanks for the advice guys

He is pretty cute - I don't do ugly :)

I think it will be fine - I just don't want any drama.  He is pretty chill guy (sometimes to a fault) so I am sure it will be ok.

....and besides, he may not even want to have any SEX with you, he is your EX isn't he?
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2008, 06:40:23 PM »
What, doesnt everyone want to have sex with me ?  lol

Thanks denb45 for keeping me grounded  ;D

Offline David_CA

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2008, 08:28:07 AM »
No shit.  Just do him!

A man after my own heart!   ;)
Black Friday 03-03-2006
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  Atripla started 12-01-2006
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05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
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11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
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Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #15 on: November 25, 2008, 06:09:00 PM »
To hell with it all.  Have sex.  You only live once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhkLKsr_NsE&feature=related
« Last Edit: November 25, 2008, 06:11:24 PM by red_Dragon888 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Basquo

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #16 on: November 25, 2008, 06:23:17 PM »
To hell with it all.  Have sex.  You only live once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhkLKsr_NsE&feature=related

Showing him that Spice Girls video would be like giving him salt petre. Talk about a boner shrinker!

Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2008, 05:29:26 AM »
Yes I would say you are crazy - or rather ambivalent -- about your ex.

The scenario you have set up has "wrong" or "danger" written all over it.

So, now, please, don't keep us in suspense, what happened last night???

hubbahubba
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

tendai

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2008, 08:28:28 AM »
yeah man, spill it, we're dying to know ;D

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2008, 02:36:20 PM »
we had a lovely day at my parents house followed by movies, wine, and nice conversation at my house after.  We fell asleep, had a nice quiche this morning I made and he left.

No nookie - just a little cuddling which was nice.


I am glad I invited him..I feel I got brownie points with God (and lord knows I need as many as I can get)

Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2008, 05:54:15 PM »
Well I dunno. Kudos to you.  Even though I broke up with my ex, I miss him terribly sometimes and I don't think I could put myself in such a vulnerable place... 
Happy Thanksgiving!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2008, 05:56:29 PM »
Well I dunno. Kudos to you.  Even though I broke up with my ex, I miss him terribly sometimes and I don't think I could put myself in such a vulnerable place... 
Happy Thanksgiving!

I miss both of my ex, but unfortunately they are DEAD from AIDS, and no longer have the pressure of being alive  ??? it's not like I can call or write to them....DEATH is final hunnie
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2008, 04:05:38 AM »
My dear Denb,

I'm not sure how you want me to take that news... Also don't want to hijack this thread.  Its really sad to lose a lover... One of mine killed himself because of this virus, in the 80s, and he was suffering horribly.  Another died in the 90s (after we were already broke up). I and many other people miss them both a lot.

As for dealing with the living ones - I really admire Petes emotional strength.


« Last Edit: November 29, 2008, 04:07:31 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline BUZZCUTT

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2008, 12:11:23 PM »
I say play it by ear - but i am leaning toward what Basque said ;)
Buzz ♥

 


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