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Author Topic: Hello All  (Read 1813 times)

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Offline adhoc

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Hello All
« on: November 21, 2008, 09:47:21 PM »
Hello All

A Year and a Day. Much like the burial tradition in New Orleans cemetery one through three, I find I'm not alone here.(sorry for the dark comparison but I thought it worked) It has taken 366 days for me to realize this. Ive been a lurker so to say sitting in my own fear and confusion. While coming to grip with my status, watching, reading, learning and getting to know many of you who post here, I finally feel empowered enough to post. It has taken a while for me to get over the panic of the dreaded diagnosis or as my doctor put it "walking in to glass". What a day that was.
 
 After being sick with some unknown Stomach ailment, much like a feeling of a kick to the gut with the persons boot still left in there (later found out it was cryptosporidiosis) and a canker sore in the back of my throat two weeks later (that hurt let me tell you).  I felt that it was time I got tested for everything. That was about 380 days ago.  Everything was coming back OK about three days later and about two weeks later I got a call from the Dr.s office saying I needed to come in. The next day (366 days ago) heart in my throat, hands sweaty I sat down for the news. I was told that the Dr made a mistake and ordered the wrong test. Confused I sat and stared at him as he proceeded to tell me that he ordered a Viral Load test instead of an antibody test. He told me and showed me that I had a viral load over 100000. He noted I must have had it for awhile. Dread, fear and the heavy news started to sink in, along with a bunch of shots and a real good introduction to the drawing of blood. One of the tests given to me of course  was the CD4 count. Just when the news couldn't get worse it does. Three days later I found I had a CD4 of 70.

 AIDS, I really don't think anyone knows how powerful that word is until you know you have it, are it and everything you do becomes it. How amazingly encompassing a number and clinical label becomes. Prior to that being HIV positive was scary enough but add to that the real fear of an advanced diagnosis was terrifying. The next day I met my ID doc and the fun really gets going.

 Meeting the ID doc wasn't bad. But the list of drugs and not to mention the adverse reactions to Dapsone and Mepron, I really began to experience fear like none other. Like I was really counting down my own demise. Luckily I had a couple of options left. I now get the Pentamidine treatment monthly. I knew this was to prevent getting sick but at the time it sure is a heavy burden. Unfortunately the hives and rash with the Dapsone and Mepron didn't help matters at all. It delayed my starting ARVs and I felt powerless and not in control. Not that we ever are =).

 So to get to the point as I'm sure everyone is reading this faster to get to the end. It is a year and one day later. I am still here. Now with the hangers out of my hair I'm now here on this site. I am still battling a CD4 count under 200 but I'm OK. I take my pill (Atripla). Try to watch what I eat as it seems to be raising my Cholesterol. A bit heavier but for the most part OK with who I was, who I am, Who I will be. Sometimes the fear creeps in especially when I am unhappy with my latest blood draw. What can you do, I do the same as many I'm sure, take my pill, vitamins, fish oil and the occasional scotch. I still live and work. Life means a whole lot more to me now, it always has meant alot but it means so much more to me now. I am optimistic about the future. Much like the merry prankster bus from the 60s "FURTHER". How true that is, as there is no going back now. Here's to the future, to you all, and to another year!
Thanks for reading.
alea iacta est

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,337
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: Hello All
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2008, 08:22:35 AM »
Adhoc -- welcome to our forums!  Sounds like you've come a long way in one year. 

I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.

Peter Staley
Founder
AIDSmeds.com

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Hello All
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2008, 11:05:30 AM »
Adhoc,

Glad you felt it was time to post... Feels good don't it?  ;)   We all have those "first day's" stories that will be part of us forever.  As time goes long however, those days seem to deminish into a haze of whatever's replaced by new memories and the promise of more days ahead.     Hang in there, your doing great..  Let the body heal, the mind will follow...

Hugs,

Eric

Offline Assurbanipal

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,173
  • Taking a forums break, still see PM's
Re: Hello All
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2008, 05:07:37 PM »
Hey

Glad to see you cast the die and decide to join in the discussion every now and then  :)

Welcome
A
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,643
Re: Hello All
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2008, 05:20:24 PM »
nice to hear from you, adhoc.

as you know from all your lurking, this is a good place to be.  Now that you're part of us, I look forward to hearing more from you.

robt
..........

Online GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Hello All
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2008, 05:24:35 PM »
Hello and welcome. The first year is usually the hardest. It is good to hear from you.

Ford

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,638
Re: Hello All
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2008, 11:30:08 PM »
Glad to hear you are doing OK .

 I also lurked for a long time , but after the plunge you get hooked  :)

 Things WILL  return to normal , well normal for us  :o

  Life just  is better for most of us , at the first it is a big change ,then things

 that really matter  make life worth living . I am a better person .

I think most of us here are more caring for our fellow man  :)

                                                           glad your here ,
                                                                                    Karl
" Live and let Live "

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Hello All
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2008, 08:40:47 AM »
Hello All

 AIDS, I really don't think anyone knows how powerful that word is until you know you have it,

Hi Adhoc,

Welcome to the forums.  I was once on my way to one of the border towns to get a BIG CHEAP bottle of antibiotics and on the way, I stopped at an ER and they told me, it gets better with time.  A year and a day, if you were studying witchcraft, that is how long it would take to become a witch or a warlock.  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline adhoc

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Hello All
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2008, 01:21:14 PM »
Hello Everyone
I just wanted to say thank you for the welcoming words and for taking the time to read. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving Holiday. I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

alea iacta est

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Hello All
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2008, 03:04:26 PM »
Welcome to the forums Adhoc, and I trust you will do far better this year, so onward and upward!

The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline todd123

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
  • "You don't ask, you don't know."
Re: Hello All
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2008, 11:23:26 PM »
I was very moved by your post and found myself in a similar position with molluscum and an initial CD4 count of 16.  I'm only in my fourth month and I find that it whirls back and forth.  A good day or two then a crash.
I try to look at the fact that 15 years ago with this diagnosis, I'd probably be dead.

Truly a reminder to be thankful for each day, my partner, family, home, friends and general support.

By the way, you are a wonderful writer.  I'm also originally from the southeast (TN)!

all my best,
Scott
Tested HIV+ July 28, 2008
CD4 16 VL over 400,000
Started Prezista/Norvir, Isentress and Intelence; Mepron
8/08   CD4 64    2%      VL 1500
9/08   CD4 135  6%      VL 371
11/08 CD4 104   9%     VL 156
12/08 CD4 161   9%     VL 400
01/09 CD4 109   7%     VL 351
02/09 CD4 218   8%     VL   98
03/09 CD4   80   5%     VL   98 at least that's the same
04/09 CD4 150   7%      VL 100
05/09 CD4 232   8%      VL   90

Offline HARLEY_B

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
Re: Hello All
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2008, 04:31:49 PM »
Glad to finally hear from you Adhoc. I was a lurker and wanderer at first too. Finally I took the plunge one day and spoke up on here. Everyone I've encountered on here is very understanding and knows so much more tha I do about all this..but I'm learning from the resources on here and from the other members. It does help to get feedback from people who've been there and it does get (a little easier) with time. Like most things we deal or get swallowed up by it.
 Take care
        Tim

 


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