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Author Topic: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.  (Read 4947 times)

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Offline cjmchgo

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
  • Dx 1992
Hey everyone,

I have to start meds after being + for over 15 years. I shouldn't be scared, I've certainly had enough time to prepare and research but I am totally freaking out.
I'm truly petrified of the initial side effects. And I know its because of all the horror stories I've heard over the years from different people.
How bad can it be?   
April/May, 1992: Infected at age 21
Aug 31, 1992: Tested positive
Sep 8, 1992 T-cells 977, 43%
1993-1998: T-cells 675-800
1999-2001: T-cells 500-600
2000-2004: T-cells 425-525 23% VL 500-2000
2005-2008: T-cells 275-375, 20%, VL 950-2500
December 2008: Started Atripla
Dec 2009: T-cells 637, 33%, VL UD
Dec 2010: T-cells 544, 35%, VL UD
Dec 2011: T-cells 596, 41%, VL UD
January 2, 2012 stopped Atripla (CNS issues)
January 4, 2012 started Isentress/Truvada
March 25, 2014 Still on I/T t-cells 673, VL undetectable

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2008, 06:09:27 PM »
We are all different and medication affect us in different ways. I would try to be kind to yourself and give yourself chance to get used to it. Try not to worry about something that you do not know yet, it is adding to the pressure you already have. Go for it, one day at the time. You might very be surprise with the results and the minimum side effects with good numbers.

Best of luck with it and keep us posted, Alain.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2008, 09:06:14 PM »
How bad can it be?  

Nobody can tell you the answer to this. You may have side effects, you may not.

If you do, they shouldn't last more than eight weeks, although there are some people who go 12 weeks and some for whom things don't improve.

If you find yourself unable to withstand Atripla, there are quite a few options from which you and your doctor may choose.

But, you should consider the side effects of not taking the meds.

They may include uncontrollable diarrhea, blindness, painful swelling and growths near your neck, under your arms or in your groin, severe weight loss, wrenching stomach pain, oozing sores on your skin, difficulty breathing, loss of memory and the ability to concentrate or form sentences, loss of the ability to speak clearly, and the list goes on.

Now, you choose. Which are you more afraid of?

HUGS,

Mark

(Edited to add: I have been on meds for nearly 13 years.)
« Last Edit: November 13, 2008, 09:16:13 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline SoSadTooBad

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2008, 09:55:43 PM »
cjm - dive into that Atripla bottle!!  You will feel a little drunk at first, but then things will smooth out and your overall health will improve!!  2.5 years on meds, and it was the best thing I ever did - good luck and keep us posted.


Offline Rural_oz

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2008, 12:45:27 AM »
Hi cjm, I was in your shoes 5 weeks ago.  Terrified about starting meds, we don't have atripla here in Aus. so I was starting Kivexa & Viramune. 
We are all different, but so far my side effects have been : nothing!
I feel very lucky (so far) and wish that you will be too.
(and having this website has been the best thing for me, and I hope you will find that also)
Hugz   David


Offline cjmchgo

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
  • Dx 1992
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2008, 12:09:15 PM »
Thanks for the support everyone.
April/May, 1992: Infected at age 21
Aug 31, 1992: Tested positive
Sep 8, 1992 T-cells 977, 43%
1993-1998: T-cells 675-800
1999-2001: T-cells 500-600
2000-2004: T-cells 425-525 23% VL 500-2000
2005-2008: T-cells 275-375, 20%, VL 950-2500
December 2008: Started Atripla
Dec 2009: T-cells 637, 33%, VL UD
Dec 2010: T-cells 544, 35%, VL UD
Dec 2011: T-cells 596, 41%, VL UD
January 2, 2012 stopped Atripla (CNS issues)
January 4, 2012 started Isentress/Truvada
March 25, 2014 Still on I/T t-cells 673, VL undetectable

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,013
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2008, 12:21:59 PM »
So if in another week you Atripla is still sitting on the shelf what are you planning to do about this quandary?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline dingowarrior

  • Member
  • Posts: 191
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2008, 01:44:40 PM »
I hope I'm not breing rude...

But If I were you,and time has come to start...

I'd be more afraid if I DIDN'T start meds..Ya know whatta I mean.... ::)

You'll be ok, personally I had one bad night.(first night) after that,smooth sailing.  ;)

Good luck..

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,126
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2008, 03:07:42 PM »
Hey everyone,

I have to start meds after being + for over 15 years. I shouldn't be scared, I've certainly had enough time to prepare and research but I am totally freaking out.
   

You had a good run without having to be on meds. At the same time, I understand that no matter how much we think we're prepared to start, we're really not. I know that was my case, and I went 17 plus years, before starting. I also thought I was prepared but wasn't. Wasn't until I was placed in the hospital, that I realised how much of a mistake it was to try to hold off for so long, for whatever the reasons.

Don't get yourself to that point. You may get through this initial start, with very little side effects, to worry about . I had very few problems, after starting on meds. That's not to say, there weren't some problems, but overall things went pretty well. Not everyone has horror stories about the meds.

Now try to get a date set, and get started. Let us know how things are going.


Hang in there----Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline hades01

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2008, 04:57:24 PM »
You will be fine!
Eduardo Cabrera
"Life will never give me what i want, only what is best for me"
08-08-2008 HIV+ (What a day)
08-14-2008 VL 105K   CD4 199 (Pretified and hopeless)
11-14-2008 Started Atripla  and no side effects at all yet
Lab Results 12-31-2008 VL 220 CD4 189
Lab Results 03-31-2009 VL undetectable CD4 308
Lab Results 06-30-2009 VL Undetectable & CD4 274
Lab Results 09-30-2009 VL Undetectable & CD4 410
Lab Results 10-06-2010 VL Undetectable & CD4 514 %34

Offline txalberta

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2008, 07:57:02 PM »
I understand exactly your feeling. When I finally made the decision to go on meds, I knew (because I procrastinate) that being alone for the beginning would just cause me to stall.

Thank gawd my best friend knew what I would do and traveled to oversee the first week of med-taking. Having his support in-person to take that first dose was amazing, and his continued presence relieved my fears of side effects. Luckily I have not experienced any - 10 months in!

Maybe you have someone in your life to lean on for that type of support?

Also - aztecan has it completely right! Are you more afraid of side effects, or getting very sick?

Very good luck to you, and hop into those bottles sooner than later.

love.

Offline PozitivelySouthern

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2008, 11:06:57 AM »
Two months on Atripla and I feel great!

The first night I had some really cool dreams. I also suffered a little anxiety (worrying about the side effects) and I was drowsy in the mornings for the first week or so. Now I am just fine. It is like I am not on medication at all.....zip, zilch, nothing.

Give yourself a few weeks to adjust and then you can resume a normal social life at night. If you are going to be hanging out with friends, keep a pill in your pocket. That way, if quick plans are made, you don't have to worry about missing a dose.
05/28/08 Diagnosed
08/04/08 CD4 268 (24.4%) VL 3,310
09/08/08 CD4 316 (22.6%) VL 2,400
09/09/08 Started Atripla
10/31/08 CD4 389 (27.8%) VL Undetectable - Yay!
01/29/09 CD4 406 VL Undetectable
04/30/09 CD4 513 (27%) VL Undetectable.
10/27/09 CD4 560 (28%) VL Undetectable.
03/09/10 CD4 536 (33.5%) VL 96
12/02/10 CD4 514 (32.1%) VL Undetectable.
06/16/11 CD4 446 (29.7%) VL <20
11/11/11 CD4 608 (30.4%) VL 170

Offline cjmchgo

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
  • Dx 1992
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2008, 07:16:03 PM »
Wow!
Thanks for all the support and stories guys.
It's time.
I know I don't want to end up in the hospital with some crazy infection that could have been prevented. That would just be so dumb.
I"m hoping I'll actually feel better in the long run. For the last three years I'm always fatigued, have headaches and low energy.
I'm really just afraid of the first night. I feel like I'm going to be taking a tab of LSD.  :)

Thanks again everyone!

April/May, 1992: Infected at age 21
Aug 31, 1992: Tested positive
Sep 8, 1992 T-cells 977, 43%
1993-1998: T-cells 675-800
1999-2001: T-cells 500-600
2000-2004: T-cells 425-525 23% VL 500-2000
2005-2008: T-cells 275-375, 20%, VL 950-2500
December 2008: Started Atripla
Dec 2009: T-cells 637, 33%, VL UD
Dec 2010: T-cells 544, 35%, VL UD
Dec 2011: T-cells 596, 41%, VL UD
January 2, 2012 stopped Atripla (CNS issues)
January 4, 2012 started Isentress/Truvada
March 25, 2014 Still on I/T t-cells 673, VL undetectable

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2008, 08:06:57 PM »
Honestly, Sustiva is not THAT bad for the vast majority of those who take it. You  may have odd dreams the first few nights, feel a little "out of it" for a few days or weeks. But you will deal, if this is the path you choose to take.

You can always wait until the incentive to adhere to the drug regimen is more powerful. Coming out of a two week hospital stay myself, I can attest to the persuasive power of ten cd4 cells, a viral load inthe millions, and not being able to breathe.

I hope you don't have to get to that point, but you might. Whatever it takes to make certain you follow through on the commitment to stay on the regimen as best as, as long as you can.

Some of us have to wait until death rears its ugly head, until we are impoverished and sick, homebound and riddled with infections. And it has been my experience that only very rarely can one human being's experiences really have an impact on another's. I watched dozens of friends die. I had to get close myself before I made a change, and who knows how long it will last?

We are all in this together. But we do it all alone, at the end of the dark night.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline midland moe

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2008, 11:42:54 PM »
I did the exact same thing...I found out it was much ado about nothing...I felt like I was stoned the first few nights after I took it, and 3 weeks into it I broke out into a painless small rash on my shoulder that went away the next day.
Diagnosed + 4/15/08               VL 570,000  cd4  85
started ATRIPLA 7/20/08         VL 301,757  cd4  45
8/22/08                                 VL       171  cd4  185
11/25/08    undetectable                           cd4  371

03/30/09    undetectable                           cd4  464
07/07/09    undetectable                           cd4  419
12/04/09    undetectable                           cd4  534
        cd4 % 20
04/09/10 undetectable                                cd4  667
         cd4%  22.1
07/16/10   undetectable                              cd4  573
         cd4%  23.8
03/25/11   undetectable                              cd4  655
         cd4%  29.4

Offline ALH300

  • Member
  • Posts: 69
  • Some days ur the bug other days ur the windshield!
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2008, 11:15:12 AM »
I have taken Atripla the last two nights and I have had no side effects at all...So far its been a breeze. I got it back in October and didn't start until I was ready. I simply looked and the pill the other night grabbed a bottle of water and swallowed it. Layed there waiting for something weird to happen but eventually fell asleep.
Good Luck!
« Last Edit: November 19, 2008, 11:21:50 AM by ALH300 »
Poz 7-27-07 
First Labs:
07/13/2007 "Friday the 13th" What was I thinking???
314 CD4 17% 9410 VL
10/03/2007
479 CD4 18% 8220 VL
01/03/2008
493 CD4 22.5 % 5900 VL
03/18/2008
432 CD4 14.4 % 11,830 VL
05/06/2008
480 CD4 15.0% 2630 VL
07/16/2008
361 CD4 16.4% 12,830 VL
10/31/2008
362 CD4 15.5% 2500 VL
Started Atripla 11-17-2008
1/16/2009
395 CD4 20.5% undect. VL
5/05/2009
426 CD4 20.3% undect. VL
9/15/2009
422 CD4 22.2% undect. VL

Seadickrun

  • Guest
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2008, 08:14:04 AM »
Honestly, Sustiva is not THAT bad for the vast majority of those who take it. You  may have odd dreams the first few nights, feel a little "out of it" for a few days or weeks. But you will deal, if this is the path you choose to take.

Sustiva was my first drug and I'm a worst case scenario.  I started seeing pretty patterns on the wall 45 minutes after taking my first pill:))  I smiled and thought to myself, "shouldn't I be asleep before the wild dreams start?"  I felt drunk, couldn't type straight, and had a hard time walking in the apartment.  This went on for a week and then, I just couldn't get off the couch for 20 hours a day and became suicidal by the end of the month.  When my doctor found out at the next visit (I thought everything was normal) he switched me to Truvada/Viramune and I have been a happy camper ever since.  I have yet to come across anyone who has a reaction to Sustiva like I do.  You should have no problems with Atripla but if your symptoms are over the top like mine were, just call your doctor and discuss it. 


Offline a2z

  • Member
  • Posts: 193
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2008, 08:52:56 AM »
Hey everyone,

I have to start meds after being + for over 15 years. I shouldn't be scared, I've certainly had enough time to prepare and research but I am totally freaking out.
I'm truly petrified of the initial side effects. And I know its because of all the horror stories I've heard over the years from different people.
How bad can it be?   

So, did you give it a go yet?
Dates are blood draw dates:
5/23/14: CD4 895 --.-% VL UD - Truvada/Isentress
09/21/09: CD4 898 27.0% VL 120 - back on track, same meds.High level enzymes, but less so
06/15/09: CD4 478 21.8% VL 1150 - high liver enzymes... looks like I may not be resistant
05/22/09: Fixed insurance, resumed medicine
04/17/09: Ran out of medicine, could not resolve insurance problems
04/01/09: CD4 773 28% VL 120 - high liver enzymes
12/01/08: CD4 514 23% VL 630
10/17/08 started Reyataz, Norvir and Truvada. -- possibly minor neuropathy, but otherwise okay.
9/10/08: CD4 345 17%, VL > 78K
8/18/08: CD4 312 18%, VL > 60K (considering meds)
12/19/07: CD4 550 28% VL > 100K (no meds yet)
Diagnosed 10/23/07

Offline Maggie

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
  • Poz since 1992, member of Aidsmeds 2002
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2008, 10:53:50 AM »
I want to thank you aztecan for your post.  I was ready to stop my meds last nite.  I've been poz for 16 years and was doing fine on Viramune/Truvada until my kidneys started to go a few weeks ago and I ended up in the hospital to get hydrated again. 

I am now taking Isentress/Viramune/Emtriva and I am having a hard time.  Then, when I read about what REALLY could happen if I wasn't on meds ........ well, I retracted my decision to stop meds altogether. 

thank you  :)

Offline DanKenny

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #19 on: December 09, 2008, 04:11:46 PM »
Hey, sorry for chiming in late....but I was also in your position about a year ago.....I started it immediately I got the tabs, and then quickly transitioned to taking it in the morning,  not much side effects (I only feel dizzy if i ate a heavy breakfast shortly before/after the tabs).   Other than that, I look forward to taking it every day.... so jump right in !!

all the best, DK
My Progress:

09/07:   771   ~    <50     ~   29%
03/07:   493   ~    227      ~   22%
02/07:   Began Meds ~~ ATRIPLA
01/07:   315   ~   45, 000  ~   18%
10/06:   350   ~   32, 430  ~   22%
04/06:   440   ~   23, 997  ~   24%
07/05:   621   ~   36,000   ~   24%
01/05:   842   ~   2306      ~   28%
07/04:   615   ~   3370      ~   27%
04/04:   674   ~   739        ~   26%
11/03:   439   ~   2800      ~   22%
Infected probably around 1997 / Diagnosed 2002

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,013
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #20 on: December 09, 2008, 04:16:15 PM »
So it's now been about 6 weeks since cjmchgo would have picked up his prescription, but I don't see where he's followed up in the thread and stated what's happened.  I see he last checked in on the board yesterday so perhaps he can give us a progress report.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline cjmchgo

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
  • Dx 1992
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2008, 05:09:00 PM »
Hey everyone,

Well, I FINALLY started after several ugly anxiety attacks and excuse after excuse why I should wait until the next night or next week.
It's been four full days now and I am feeling some effects that I hope diminish.
Really tired during the day and THE DREAMS, they never stop.
And just kind of under the weather feeling.
Again, thanks for all the support through my initiating therapy and I wish all the best through everyones personal journey with HIV and medications.
Any advice or information on other people's side effects and how they are dealing with them would be nice too.

Thanks,
Craig

April/May, 1992: Infected at age 21
Aug 31, 1992: Tested positive
Sep 8, 1992 T-cells 977, 43%
1993-1998: T-cells 675-800
1999-2001: T-cells 500-600
2000-2004: T-cells 425-525 23% VL 500-2000
2005-2008: T-cells 275-375, 20%, VL 950-2500
December 2008: Started Atripla
Dec 2009: T-cells 637, 33%, VL UD
Dec 2010: T-cells 544, 35%, VL UD
Dec 2011: T-cells 596, 41%, VL UD
January 2, 2012 stopped Atripla (CNS issues)
January 4, 2012 started Isentress/Truvada
March 25, 2014 Still on I/T t-cells 673, VL undetectable

Offline Rural_oz

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #22 on: December 11, 2008, 11:51:41 PM »
Good onya Craig, stick with it.  My first blood test 6 weeks after starting meds showed a VL drop from 35,000 to 90.  May you be equally successful.  Hugz

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,013
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #23 on: December 12, 2008, 12:16:20 AM »
Hey Craig, I'm ever so delighted to hear from you and to know you've started taking your medication.  I'll let others weigh in here on side effects from this med as it's been a decade since I was on any of the components in Atripla.  The first month of any HIV med can be a bit touch and go but once you get over that period most side effects greatly lessen as our bodies acclimate to the medication.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #24 on: December 12, 2008, 12:41:47 AM »


  The dreams will slowly go away.  Like Miss Philicia said any med will present some form of side effect for the first month and greatly diminish once your body gets used to it.  I use to have to get out of bed to get the dreams to stop during the first few weeks because if I just simply woke up and turned over they would start where they left off.

  Make sure you take Atripla on an empty stomach for the first few weeks especially, it will help lessen the dreams trust me.  I found even after months on Atripla that if I ate a high fat meal I would have the vivid dreams.  If I ate fried dishes in excess I would sometimes suffer nausea also.

  The tired feeling will slowly go away in due time.  At least in my own experience it did.

  Hope this helps. 
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline apou70

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #25 on: December 28, 2008, 04:27:20 AM »
hello from berlin in germany!
this is for the people fearing taking meds:

first of all this forum really helped me with my fears about taking any meds because of possible side effects.
all of you give very helpful information and i am happy to found you by coincidence.

i waited until my CD4 was 150 and 11%. it was difficult to understand to take any meds because i felt still very healthy but finally decided to take atripla about 2 weeks ago.

and i have to say: no side effects whatsoever, very good sleep, normal eating behavior - everything is fine. i even got more power than i used to have over the last half year.

well, i hope - after this rather easy start - my blood test in january will proof that everything is fine and i can continue.

take good care!

Offline MaxPep

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #26 on: December 28, 2008, 09:28:47 AM »
There are people all over the world that aren't as fortunate and may never have the opportunity to have access to these medications.  We should all be very grateful.
12/5/08 - diagnosed
12/7/08 - CD4 70 15%, VL 21,181
12/19/08 - CD4 82 16.5%, VL 20,000
Started Atripla, Zithromax and Bactrim
1/24/09 - Next Labs
No OI's to date

Offline wamess

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: The Atripla has been on the counter for 2 weeks, still haven't started.
« Reply #27 on: January 24, 2009, 02:26:26 PM »
I can relate. I just started Atripla 3 evenings ago. I was going to wait until the weekend, as I had this fear that I would have some weird side effects that would interfere with work, or that I might break out in a rash. Instead, curiosity got the better of me and I took my first pill Wednesday evening. The only side effects I have noticed was feeling wobbly the next morning. As for strange dreams: I have always had lots of strange dreams and I quite enjoy them (they are like free movies :) ), so not an issue for me. The one ODD thing that I noticed is that after taking that first pill, mentally I felt like I had crossed over or changed somehow; instead of being 'poor me who had HIV and thought I would tough things out med-free', a feeling that I somehow had taken this irreversible step to 'the other side'.....sound like a bunch of malarkey....and perhaps I have been watching to many sci-fi movies, but I related to taking my med as somehow morphing into another type of human being.....IN REALITY, I think it was my mind's way of dealing with what had been a major fear of accepting that I was HIV+.
I can't deny the truth now....I can't hope that somehow it is going to go away on its own....can't imagine that any of the vitamin supplements are miraculously going to reduce my VL from 500K down to nothing.....can't imagine that something or someone is going to wave a magic wand and make this all disappear. INSTEAD, I overcame my fear, ACCEPTED that I have HIV for life and I am going to treat it with what scientific research has shown to be most effective at this point in time. I was in denial until last week. I'm glad I managed to overcome that denial.

 


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